Not your typical Fourth of July WWE show. Sure, they had red, white, and blue ropes. Sure, there was a Fourth of July Fatal Four Way for the US title. Sure they opened with a video package celebrating our nation’s independence. It’s just that, there wasn’t a real party atmosphere last night on SmackDown, particularly for a certain World Championship-less Canadian. Edge showed up late for work, and was in a really bad mood, which only grew worse by the end of the night. The Rated R Superstar had the worst Monday of his life this past week, and felt like everybody was against him when he came to work on Friday. Why is that? I guess you’ll have to read my whole SmackDown review to find out!
The whole review, after the jump.
Our show kicks off this week with everybody’s favorite show-within-a-show, the MVP Lounge. MVP’s guest at this time is the 12 time World Champion, Triple H! After MVP reminds us of Triple H’s accolades, The Game responds in kind, telling us how he likes everything about MVP, right down to that silly Power Ranger outfit he wrestles in. MVP tells Hunter that his wrestling gear is state of the art sportswear. The Cerebral Assassin says he saw a documentary the other day about how those suits make the swimmers go faster in the Olympics, and that it could be considered a performance enhancer, and that MVP might get a 30 day vacation because of it. MVP thinks Hunter’s just jealous because he gets paid more after just two years in the business. Trips says that he’s proud to go down in history as a 12 time world champion, instead of the biggest waste of money in SmackDown history. It’s not all bad though, H-cubed brought a clip! MVP says that The King of Kings can’t roll a clip, only MVP can roll a clip. So roll the clip.
The clip is a recap of Edge losing the World Heavyweight Championship on Monday to CM Punk. Afterwards, Hunter and MVP exchange “Edge got Punked” puns before getting interrupted by Edge’s fiancee, SmackDown General Manager Vicki Guerrero. Triple H says that Edge is brilliant, marrying the boss to get ahead in business. He says he knows a great little chapel in Vegas with a drive through. It only costs about 40 bucks and you don’t need to be conscious! She says they can stop laughing because at the Great American Bash, Triple H is defending his title, and at the end of the night, the announcer will be saying “your new WWE Champion, EDGE!”
After the break, we finally get to see the WWE Diva’s Championship. It’s… interesting looking. No title match here though, just another star on a pole match to determine a contender. Natalya, with her hair now dyed red, is out to do commentary as Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maryse, Kelly Kelly, and Cherry do battle to determine who will face her for the ugly new belt at some point in the future. After a pretty okay match, the winner was the woman who was obviously getting the shot anyway, Michelle McCool. After the match, Natalya and Michelle had a staredown by the new belt.
Vicki is talking with her wedding planner, but she’s under so much stress she can’t focus right now. The wedding planner tells her it’s ok, that’s what she’s there for. Hawkins and Ryder come in, dejected, as Vicki berates them for not being there to save Edge from losing the World Championship on Monday. Speaking of, where is Edge anyway? Hawkins and Ryder don’t know either. As punishment, they’ve got a match coming up next, taking on Jesse and Festus.
We then find out where Edge is. He’s just showing up for work, and being stared at by all the people hanging out in the hallway as he enters.
A video package airs, putting over Vladimir Kozlov.
Hawkins and Ryder make their way to the ring. As mentioned moments ago, their opponents tonight are BISCUITS AND GRAVY! Jesse and an Uncle Sam clad Festus make their way out to the ring. Hawkins and Ryder put up some decent offence until the corn-fed colossus, Festus gets the tag. He picks up the win for his team, but as they’re celebrating in the ring, Biscuits and Gravy turns into Metallingus, as Edge makes his way out. Hawkins and Ryder take care of Jesse, as an angry Edge spears a hapless Festus. Edge pounds away on Festus as Hawkins and Ryder make Jesse watch, finishing up with a wicked chairshot to the head.
After a commercial and back in Vicki Guerrero’s office, Vicki tells Edge to calm down, she took care of it and he’ll be champion again after the Great American Bash. That doesn’t help him now though Vicki. He’s naked without his belt! Vicki told him that what he did on Monday was pretty stupid, now that she thinks about it. That and she never gave him permission to go to RAW anyway. Edge stands up and starts yelling about how Vicki isn’t in charge of him, he doesn’t need permission to go to Monday Night RAW. Vicki has no idea what Edge has put himself through over the last 16 years to get where he is today. Vicki stands up to him, reminding him that she’s still his boss, and that he’s a fool for going to RAW on Monday and losing the title was his own fault.
Jeff Hardy’s music hits immediately after the break. After what felt like an eternity of Jeff posing on the ropes for the SmackDown fans, his opponent, John Morrison makes his way out, nearly hitting himself in the face with his WWE Tag Team Championship belt in slow mo. As expected, this match was pretty damned good, and actually got a pretty decent amount of time. After Jeff blocked a Moonlight Drive by Morrison, he hit the Swanton to win his first match as a Friday Night SmackDown competitor. You can learn more about Jeff Hardy in this month’s WWE Magazine.
Maria is coming to Friday Night SmackDown. Though they didn’t tell us when.
Funaki should stick to announcing. Umaga destroyed him in their match.
Edge is complaining to Hawkins and Ryder about Vicki telling him he needed her permission to go to RAW on Monday. That’s when a backstage employee told him that Vicki was looking for him. He goes into her office, and starts going off again. He says that she was nothing but Teddy Long’s lackey when he came back to SmackDown, and that she wouldn’t be where she is today without him. Vicki reminds him that she’s in a wheelchair because of the sacrifices she’s made for him. She starts babbling in Spanish, to which Edge tells her to not speak to him in that gibberish. If she wants to talk to him, she can say it in English. She did – “GET OUT!” Edge walks out, but comes back to apologize – but the door is locked behind him.
A very entertaining Fatal Four Way for the US Title was up next – Matt Hardy defended against Ken Kennedy, Chavo Guerrero, and Shelton Benjamin. A lot of near falls in this match, but it ended after Kennedy got thrown to the outside, taking out Bam Neely in the process. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate on Chavo, but his cover was interrupted by Shelton Benjamin, who ate a Twist of Fate onto Chavo Guerrero for his trouble. Matt retains by pinning Guerrero.
After our last commercial, Edge walks down to the ring, without his music or Titantron or anything. He’s got one, and only one statement about what happened on Monday. He was the victim of a pair of cowarly attacks – first by Batista, and the second by CM Punk, which cost him his World Heavyweight Championship. His solace is that he’s not going to be without a championship for very long, because he will be the WWE Champion by the time the Great American Bash is over. It’s been the most difficult week of Edge’s life – and he’s getting no support from anybody, not Hawkins, not Ryder, not the fans. Not even from the person who should be there for him, the love of his life, Vicki Guerrero. Edge has some dirty little secrets to share with us about Vicki. Well, he did, until Vicki walked out (yes, walked) to the stage, interrupting him. She says that they don’t need to air their dirty laundry in front of these people – these people aren’t worthy of hearing about it. She asks Edge if he’s lost his mind. She says “what are you doing?.” Edge replies “Good question.” He takes his microphone with him as he heads up the ramp. He gets right in the face of Vicki, and says he has one more statement to make. “THE WEDDING IS OFF!”
SmackDown ends with a crying Vicki Guerrero.
My thoughts? Well, as an Edge fan, I have a sinking feeling here. I have this feeling that Edge is going to lose to Triple H with help from Vicki at the Great American Bash. I also get a counter-feeling, that it’s all a ploy to make Triple H think he’s got an emotionally weakened and distracted Edge at the Bash, only to reveal that it was a plot between Edge and Vicki all along to get the title off of The Game. Guess we’ll wait and see, but as the Bash isn’t until the 20th and the wedding was supposed to be next week, I’m feeling like it’s going to be the first scenario. Anyways, for once, SmackDown was pretty good – it wasn’t RAW good, but it wasn’t bad at all. The matches were all pretty entertaining, and the ongoing Edge saga was captivating. I’m interested to see if next week’s show is going to be as good.
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!