You know, Ring of Honor really has to be excited – two of their top alumni are world champions, with CM Punk winning RAW’s top prize on Monday, and Samoa Joe being the TNA Champion for a while now. Having never seen a full ROH show myself, I still knew about Samoa Joe and CM Punk before their debuts with their respective companies – which means that ROH is doing something right. For Punk, the title win surprised a lot of people – who knew the WWE would ever take a guy from the indies, let him keep his name and gimmick, and eventually make him a world champion? For Joe, we all knew it was going to happen, and it was a feel good moment when he finally captured the gold in TNA, despite the fact they made it blatantly obvious that he wasn’t walking away without the title that night. Of course, while RAW centered around it’s champion this past Monday night, iMPACT centered around Kurt Angle. Sure, Joe was in the main event, but he was only featured on the show once beforehand. How many Kurt Angle sightings were there? We’ll keep track during the review.
The matches, and my reviews of them, after the jump!
iMPACT kicked off with AJ Styles and Karen Angle in the ring, denying any wrongdoing. AJ says Karen shouldn’t have to be scared to come to work. AJ demands Kurt Angle – but instead, he gets Team 3D. After some back and forth banter, Brother Ray calls Karen a whore, which sparks a brawl. A brawl that AJ can’t win, because after all, it’s two on one. Brother Ray calls for the tables, which is obliged by Brother Devon, albeit just a normal table this week. As Team 3D looks to put AJ through the table, he’s saved by Rhino, who cleans house and issues a challenge. He says he wants a 6 man tag, himself along with AJ Styles and Christian Cage against Team 3D and Kurt Angle. The fans get to choose the match – either a tables match, a falls count anywhere match, or a match with tables, ladders, and chairs, better known (in TNA, apparently) as Full Metal Mayhem. Team 3D accepts.
We join Kurt Angle (sighting number 1) looking for his first of three blind dates, Tiffany, and find her he does – a very large woman whom Kurt is disgusted by. Strike one for Brother Ray.
Hector Guerrero babbles about somethingorother in a backstage LAX promo, and continues to do so as the team now known as Beer Money, James Storm and Robert Roode, make their way to the arena. Their opponents tonight are the Motor City Machineguns. The match ends when Jaqueline inadvertantly spits beer in Storm’s face, allowing Shelly to get the pin. The carnage doesn’t end there though, as Beer Money handcuff the MCMGs to the ropes and begin whipping them with leather belts. Referees come to stop the carnage, and they get whipped for their trouble, as do TNA security. Don West isn’t safe at the broadcast booth either, and ring announcer David Penzer gets his too. That’s when Jim Cornette comes out to stop the madness. He tells Beer Money that he’s going to find the two baddest men in the entire locker room, and they’ll face them later on tonight!
Kurt Angle (number two!) is waiting at a restaurant for blind date number two. When “she” arrives, Kurt asks her if she’s wearing a sweater – which JB kindly points out is chest hair. Kurt is even more angry with Brother Ray.
“Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!” Moose is up next, and taking on Roxxi in another Bimbo Brawl. More like last week – Moose takes a beating and still winds up winning the match. This time, Roxxi ran into a chair wedged between the ropes in the corner before getting slammed face first into a Dead End sign and pinned. Roxxi was bleeding afterwards.
Jim Cornette is backstage, asking Kevin Nash to take on Beer Money later on tonight. Nash is a business man, so he’ll do it. He just wants to know one thing – who is his partner going to be. Cornette tells him it’s Joe. Nash tells him good luck telling Joe that.
After the break, Joe is cool with beating up Beer Money – but then gets angry when Cornette tells him that his partner will be Nash. Joe says he’s done with Nash. Jim tells Joe that Nash has him on edge and paranoid, on his toes, which is good for a world champion. That and if he doesn’t do it, he’s gone. So it’s set, Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash take on Beer Money later tonight.
Angle (sighting number three) is on another blind date with a normal looking girl. Who gets up to go to the bathroom every ten minutes. Angle asks if she’s bulemic. She tells him she has a spastic colon. Angle makes fun of her, and tells JB that he’s going to kill Brother Ray on Thursday.
Rey Buccanero took on Alex Koslov in round two of the World X Cup. Buccanero dropped Koslov on his head with a sick looking piledriver, and hit a corkscrew senton to score a victory for Team Mexico.
Kurt Angle (sighting four) is in the building! He’s looking for Brother Ray but gets JB instead, who lets him know that he’s teaming with Team 3D at the PPV. Angle’s not happy, he’s going to beat the hell out of Brother Ray.
Kurt Angle (sighting five) comes to the ring, and complains about the girls Brother Ray set him up with. Says Brother Ray made him look like a fool. Team 3D comes out and offers and explination – Brother Ray couldn’t find his little black book, so he used Devon’s. Don’t worry though, Kurt – Brother Ray picked up a hot girl last night, and he’s going to pass her on to you. She comes out, and she tells Kurt that she’s fun loving and loyal. Kurt calls BS, says that none of them are loyal, and that she’d sleep with another guy in his bed. He’d beat her up, but he won’t hit a girl. The Beautiful People will though, and here they come. As they’re going after this girl, Karen Angle strikes back. All hell breaks loose, with AJ Styles, Rhino, Gail Kim, and ODB all hitting the ring and clearing out the heels.
Booker T’s locker room is featured again, as JB asks Booker about Nash and Joe. Nothing really important to take out of this segment.
World X Cup, round two. This time, Team Japan’s Milano Collection A.T. makes his way to the ring with an invisible dog to take on Team TNA’s Curry Man. Team Japan’s fellow boots Curry Man in the face to pick up the win, and a couple of much needed points for his team.
Beer Money tells Lauren that they’re not out of line whipping everybody.
Taylor, the woman who took it to Kong a few weeks ago and then jumped her last week, takes on Raesha Saeed, and if she wins, she gets a shot at Kong next week. Taylor, of course, picks up the win. So next week, Taylor vs. Kong, with $25,000 and the Knockout Championship going to Taylor if she wins.
Beer Money took on Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash in our main event. Joe picked up the win for his team, then has a staredown with Kevin Nash. That’s when we see Sting up in the rafters, and fade to black.
My thoughts? Well, TNA is back to normal. Last week’s show was pretty good, everything made sense, and it was a pretty good show. This week, it wasn’t that bad of a show, if only because it focused on Beer Money. Of course, they counteracted that with Kurt Angle’s comedy special. Angle is another guy who needs to be showcased in the ring, not in stupid skits. I know he’s hurt – keep him off TV if that’s the case. I shouldn’t be seeing him more than I see any of the company’s champions. Oh well, whatever. At least RAW is doing everything right for the time being.
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