Former World Champion CM Punk tries to get his title back in a steel cage against Chris Jericho.  Plus, Kane takes on Rey Mysterio.  All this and more as RAW is LIVE from Memphis, TN!

Detailed results after the jump!

The steel cage is lowering in Memphis, TN.  For the first time ever, RAW will start with a cage match for a World Championship.  Standard rules apply:  You can win by pinfall, submission, or by escaping the cage.  CM Punk makes his way to the ring without his World Title for the first time since he won it several months ago.  His opponent tonight will be the man who essentially stole his championship 8 days ago at Unforgiven, Chris Jericho.

Chris Jericho def. CM Punk in a steel cage match

The two men exchange words as the bell rings, and Punk levels Jericho with a right hand and starts to wail away on the World Heavyweight Champion.  Punk tries to whip Jericho into the buckle, but Jericho leaps up the ropes and tries to escape early, but gets cut off by Punk.  Punk takes Jericho down, and tries to escape himself, but Jericho grabs the Straight Edge Superstar and pulls him back in the ring.  Punk uses punches and muay thai kicks to work over Jericho, followed by the knee/bulldog combo before going for a GTS.  Jericho manages to not get hit with Punk’s finisher, but gets launched into the cage instead, sending us to a commercial break.  During the break, Punk almost escaped, but Jericho caught him.  Jericho started working on Punk’s leg from there, but Punk battles back, striking Jericho with a variety of moves.  Jericho catches Punk in the center of the ring with the Walls of Jericho.  Punk, still in the submission hold, crawls towards the door, trying to escape.  Punk gets one leg out of the Walls, but Jericho pulls the door closed on him, following up with a cover for a two count.  Jericho goes back to work on the leg.  He goes for the Lionsault, but Punk got a knee up, then starts kicking jericho in the chest.  He goes for the knee in the corner, but Jericho was expecting it this time, moving out of the way and sending Punk crashing into the cage.  Jericho dropkicks Punk into the cage, then tries to climb out.  Punk manages to crawl over and grab ahold of the champion, attempting a GTS from the top rope, but Jericho battled out.  Both men slam one another’s heads into the steel bar at the top of the cage, sending both men crashing to the canvas, and allowing Punk to cover Jericho for a two count.  Jericho sends Punk face first into the cage, then starts climbing again, tring to escape.  Punk starts to stir, and manages to stop Jericho from escaping.  He hits Jericho with a second rope Electric Chair Drop, leaving both men down in the center of the ring.  Punk gets up first, crawling towards the door, but Jericho manages to catch him, crawling over him and trying to escape himself.  Punk then pulls the same thing, and both men begin to battle to try and escape.  Punk slams Jericho’s head off of the cage, then headbutts him… right out the door!  Jericho wins!

Later tonight, Rey Mysterio takes on Kane

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

A promotion for the American Red Cross, asking for donations to benefit those effected by Hurricane Ike, airs.

Kelly Kelly is backstage with Mike Adamle when some blonde guy introduces himself.  Adamle says he knows who he is, since he signed him.  Adamle tells Jericho “good job” and says it’s time to get ready for No Mercy.  Jericho runs down all the stuff he’s been through, starting with Unforgiven.  He tells Adamle that to be good at his job, he needs to take care of his champion.

We see a bald head with straps around it.  It turns around and it’s revealed to be Kane wearing his mask.  Kane was forced to remove his mask years ago.  He takes it off, his music plays, and he says that nobody forces him to do anything.  Kane took his mask off in an attempt to be accepted.  What did that get him?  People pointing and laughing.  Kane doesn’t like that.  People are repulsed by Kane, and the feeling is mutual.  Anywho, Rey doesn’t have the courage to take his mask off.  Why?  Because everybody wears masks of self righteousness and happiness.  Everybody is selfish.  When Kane attacked Mysterio and tore off his mask, he was really attacking all of us.  Evan Bourne walks in.  He tells Kane that Rey is courageous.  He paved the way for Evan Bourne to make it to the WWE, and Bourne can’t wait to watch Mysterio beat him tonight.  Instead of killing Bourne, Kane just laughs maniacally.

Back in the arena, Jillian Hall does her rendition of Elvis’s “Hound Dog” as all the kids in the audience cover their ears.  Jillian is in action against Candice Michelle, next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Back from break, Jillian is singing “Hunka, Hunka, Hunka Burning Love,” and is interrupted by an arguably worse song.  Candice Michelle’s theme.  Beth Phoenix walks out behind Candice who is oblivious.  Beth walks straight over to the announce booth and sits next to The King.

Candice Michelle def. Jillian

I’ll spare you the details.  This match was terrible; and it’s the one who has a title shot in a couple weeks who makes it that way.  Candice was improving weekly in the ring before her injury, but it looks like she lost all of that while she was on the shelf.  The finish came when Jillian went for a hamspring elbow, but Candice caught her with the Unprettier, which she’s apparently calling “The Candy Wrapper.”

After the match, Candice invites The Glamazon to enter the ring.  Candice dropkicks her (horribly) as she tries to get in, and then her horrible theme song plays, as Beth yells up to the ring that she doesn’t care how many times Candice comes back, she’ll never take Beth’s title.

Still to come, Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

JBL is in a foul mood, as per usual, and apparently he lost a lot of money in the stock market over the last couple days.  Lawler quips that JBL’s limo doesn’t have turn signals, because he’s so rich he doesn’t need to tell people where he’s going.   Who’s going to die at the hands of JBL?  Why, I hear some generic Alice In Chains, so that must mean… yep, Tommy Dreamer.

JBL def. Tommy Dreamer

The angry JBL starts pounding away on the Innovator of Violence, and doesn’t relent.  Dreamer manages to battle back though, albeit momentarily.  He missed a charge into the corner and ate a Clothesline from Hell, leaving JBL to pick up the win.

After the match, JBL grabs a chair.  The referee stands in his way, telling him not to use it on Dreamer.  JBL unfolds the chair and sits down as Dreamer exits the ring.  He then gets a microphone, kicks back in the chair, and tells Mike Adamle that he’s not leaving the ring until he’s named the number one contender.  I get the feeling Kofi Kingston is going to die, as opposed to Chris Jericho…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

JBL is still sitting in the ring.  Nobody messes with JBL.  Nobody has better credentials to be number one contender than JBL…

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD… oh wait, those aren’t voices, that’s Randy Orton’s theme song.  Orton makes his way to the ring.  Orton wasn’t impressed with the list of champions on RAW a few weeks ago, which is why he made sure that Punk didn’t keep his title.  Orton tells JBL that he’s not much of an improvement.  The Age of Orton was cut short due to injury, and as he continues to rehabilitate his shoulder, but when he comes back, it will resume.  It won’t matter who the champion is, Orton is going to take the title back, and there will finally be a champion with credibility on RAW…

It’s-a he!  Santino!  Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella and Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix come to the ring.  Santino says that unlike Orton, they’re champions and they’re healthy.  Orton is always injured, just like his daddy.  He had a cast on his arm for like 6 years.  Santino’s papa, he’s always healthy.  He had the herpes, but he managed it wall.  Glamarella represent the new age of champions, and demand an apology.  Orton says he won’t respond to that.  JBL tells him to apologize.  Not to Mr. and Mrs. Phoenix, but to JBL.  How’s your shoulder Randy?  You’ve become irrelevant.  JBL is the only one who can justify being called the number one contender.  Last week he knocked out Batista with one move – Orton can’t do that.  JBL isn’t leaving until he gets a title match.  Orton needs to leave, or else his shoulder might get hurt again…

I WALK ALONE!  Well, unless somebody’s with me that is.  Oh wait, that’s Batista’s theme.  he comes to the ring and joins the party.  He has his own microphone, and he says that before he beats up all four of them, he’s gotta say that it’s the most pathetic sight he’s ever seen, the four of them babbling like a bunch of politicians, making promises they can’t keep.  Like Barack Obama said, you can put lipstick on a pig, but at the end of the day, it’s still a pig.  Santino says that just because she squeals sometimes, she is not a pig.  Batista threatens to slap the unibrow off of Kermit’s face.  He’s got a proposal.  Tonight he’s going to wrestle JBL, beat him, go to No Mercy, beat Chris Jericho, then he’s going to keep beating guys until Orton comes back, when he’ll beat him too.  Santino asks if he forgot somebody.  Batista says he did.  When he’s champion again, Beth can have a shot at the title, and he’ll beat her ass too.  Mike Adamle finally shows up on the titan tron.  He’s taking everything into consideration, and he’ll make a decision and announce it after the Kane/Mysterio match.  Batista says if it’s ok with Adamle, he’s going to plead his case now.  He throws down his microphone and spears JBL, and hits Santino with a spinebuster.  Beth Phoenix steps up, and slaps Batista in the face.  She tells him to look at her when she’s talking to him, and she slaps him again.  He tries to turn the other cheek, but she stops him, yelling “I’m not finished with you!”  He turns around and drops Beth with a spinebuster onto Santino.

Randy Orton is walking backstage, where he runs into Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and Manu.  DiBiase and Orton exchange glances as the Tag Team Champions are heading toward the arena, apparently.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kofi Kingston, who tried to rescue CM Punk at Unforgiven from an attack at the hands of the World Tag Team Champions and their associate, Manu.  He’ll be in six man tag team action tonight against those three.  His partners?  Why, Jerry “The King” Lawler and Good Ol’ JH, Jim Haas.

Manu, Ted DiBiase, & Cody Rhodes def. Kofi Kingston, Jerry Lawler, & Good Ol’ JH

Manu and Kingston kick things off.  Manu tags in Rhodes, but he doesn’t do too well.  The King gets the tag in, and continues the offense for this team, until Rhodes pulls him face first into the turnbuckle.  While Rhodes has Lawler in a chinlock, Haas goes and grabs the King’s headset off the announce table.  He says “STONE COLD, STONE COLD, ON PAY PER VIEW, PAY PER VIEW!”  King battles out of his predicament and tags in Good Ol’ JH, who hits a variety of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s moves on the newly tagged in Ted DiBiase.  He goes for an Oklahoma Stampede, but DiBiase moves out of the way and hits the Million Dollar Dream/Side Russian Leg Sweep combo to pick up the victory.

SmackDown Rebound:  Triple H is still champion, Jeff Hardy is the number one contender, Vladimir Kozlov destroys Hardy.

Backstage, JBL talks to Chris Jericho.  He says that they made an impressive team last week.  Jericho asks if JBL remembers when he blatantly cost Jericho the title in a match with Orton last year.  Jericho does.  Jericho isn’t investing in any future JBL title matches.  Got it, impressive tag team partner?  JBL says “we’ll see.”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Rewind:  William Regal destroyed Jamie Noble and walked off with his girl.

Jamie Noble is on his way to the ring for singles competition…

Jamie Noble vs. Paul Burchill

Noble starts off aggressively.  He’s angry about what happened to him last week at the hands of an Englishman, so he’s going to beat one up.  Burchill starts to mount a comeback, but Noble moves out of the way of a charging Noble, slamming his own shoulder into the ring post.  Noble then hit a springboard Fujiwara armbar for the tap out victory.

After the match, Layla comes out and says she’s sorry.  Sorry she didn’t leave him sooner.  Where were they going to go?  To the Waffle House in his pickup truck?  She’s now found a man worthy of her.  William Regal enters.  He says it wasn’t Noble that she wanted, it was nobility.  The couple then leave.

Backstage, Lance Cade is talking to Adamle.  Batista bursts in and asks if he’s the number one contender or not.  Cade asks him what makes him think he’s the number one contender.  Batista slams him against the wall and says that he didn’t ask for Cade’s opinoin.

Up next, Rey Mysterio takes on Kane.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane catches Mysterio early, and tries to beat the little man down; but Mysterio manages to counter Kane’s attacks.  During a commercial break, Kane managed to finally take the advantage, dropping Mysterio with a big boot.  He has Mysterio in a chinlock when we come back.  Mysterio battles out, and starts to use his quickness to his advantage again.  Unfortunately, Kane caught him again, and slid him across the ring, gut first into the ringpost.  Kane then slows the pace down to the way he likes it, slow and methodical.  He works over Mysterio’s back, ramming Mysterio into the turnbuckle and then using a backbreaker to do further damage.  Mysterio manages to avoid a big boot from Kane and starts to pick up the pace again.  he drops Kane with a bulldog, but only gets a one count.  He hits a spinning headscizzor takeover, sending Kane face first into the middle turnbuckle.  He climbs the ropes, but Kane catches him.  Kane goes for snake eyes, but Mysterio managed to wiggle free and hit an enziguri.  Mysterio goes for a 619 but gets clotheslined out of his boots instead.  Kane starts to stomp away at Mysterio in the corner.  He ignores the referee, and the referee calls for the bell.

After the match, Kane tries to pull Mysterio’s mask off, but Rey is saved by Evan Bourne.  The two high fliers go to work and take down the big red monster.  As they head up the ramp, Kane looks back at them with a menacing smile on his face.

Backstage, the World Champion Chris Jericho and his protoge Lance Cade run into Dolph Diggler backstage.  That’s the dude who introduced himself to the guy who signed him earlier.  He introduces himself, and Jericho shakes his head as he heads to the ring for Adamle’s announcement of the number one contender.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring.  He says he respects Adamle for taking his opinion into consideration.  Jericho says that neither JBL nor Batista are worthy for a title shot.  He suggests they face each other, and immediately after the match, Jericho will come down and face the winner.  That’s not fair, right?  Too bad, Jericho did it at Unforgiven.  Adamle should do the right thing and make Jericho’s suggestion happen at No Mercy.  Adamle says he hears him.  He says it’s more than fair.  It’s going to be JBL vs. Batista, with the winner being the new number one contender.  Since he doesn’t want to get in the habit of scheduling challengers to wrestle twice in one night.  So they’ll do that match, but the winner will face the champion the next night on RAW.  Jericho says he’s the champion.  Adamle says Jericho will still be wrestling at No Mercy, because he was approached by somebody else who wanted a title shot.  Jericho’s opponent will be…  SHAWN MICHAELS!  Gee, didn’t see that one coming.  HBK comes out with a microphone, and he says he knows they’ve already fought in a regular match, they’ve fought in an unsanctioned match.  What else can they possibly do?  A thrilling, exhillirating match, that will allow HBK to permanently disfigure Jericho in ways he could never imagine.  It’s a match HBK put on the map, that he revolutionized.  It’s a match that will let HBK take Jericho’s title.  At No Mercy, it’ll be HBK vs. Shawn Michaels in a… Shawn loses his train of thought and gets a couple guys to help him out.  They bring him a ladder, which he climbs up on, and remembers that he wants a ladder match.  Jericho looks up at HBK and clutches his title tightly as the show fades to black.

My Thoughts:

Tonight’s show was ass backwards.  The World Title match should have definitely been the last match on the show.  Whatever, minor details and I guess it worked out better having Jericho have competed early in the night to be ready for the announcement of his No Mercy opponent.

Candice Michelle should have been sent down to FCW for a while before being brought back up to RAW, and especially before getting a title shot.  She’s had two matches since she’s been back.  Both have been horrible.  The first one wasn’t very noticable, as the show was taped and the WWE editing department are miracle workers.  Tonight, Candice was terrible and it showed.

Jericho vs. HBK I’m ok with for No Mercy – just so long as they don’t start replaying the SummerSlam incident a thousand times again.

That’s it for me, see you tomorrow for ECW.

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.


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