Home ▸ RAW ▸ RAW is 800! 9/22/08

It’s the 800th episode of Monday Night RAW!  Confirmed for tonight’s show, Miz and Morrison take on Cryme Tyme, Evan Bourne takes on Kane, and Beth Phoenix takes on Kelly Kelly.

Sort of detailed results (I’m not up for full play by play at the moment); after the jump!

We start off with a shot of the World Heavyweight Championship.  It’s suspended high above the ring, which has a ladder in it.  The current owner of that belt, Chis Jericho, makes his way to the ring.  He cuts his usual “Shawn Michaels is a liar” speech.  He says at No Mercy we’ll see him climb the ladder and retrieve his title, then proceeds to give us a demonstration.  He’s interrupted by Randy Orton, who says that he’s coming for whoever the champion is when he’s healthy.  He also informs us that he spoke with GM Mike Adamle, and it was agreed that he needs to be protected.  Orton can’t hit anybody and nobody can hit him.  If anybody does hit him, they’ll be suspended immediately.  Jericho leaves, and Orton tosses the ladder at him.  CM Punk comes out, and starts to beat up on the Legend Killer.  Mike Adamle comes out and demands that Punk stop his assault.  He says that Punk directly violated his order, and is therefore suspended indefinitely.

HERE COMES THE MONEY!

Shane McMahon hits the ring.  He tells Adamle that he knows he’s learning on the job, but what Punk just did was called a “reciept.”  He then reinstates Punk before backing up Adamle’s edict that Orton is untouchable – starting now.  Since Punk is ready for action, he’ll get it against Cody Rhodes in just a moment!  First things first though, Shane reads Adamle’s mind to find out what tonight’s main event will be – Chris Jericho & JBL vs. Batista & Shawn Michaels.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Cody Rhodes has his own music, but comes out to his tag team partner’s theme song.  Weird.

CM Punk def. Cody Rhodes

A pretty good back and forth match, the story here being that Punk is angry at Cody for being partly responsible for costing Punk his title at Unforgiven.  Punk is aggressive in this match, which leads to Rhodes working on Punk’s legs to try and take away Punk’s martial arts kicking offense, to no avail.  Punk picks up the win with the Go To Sleep.

After the match, Ted DiBiase and Manu hit the ring to attack the former World Champion, but he’s saved, successfully this time, by Kofi Kingston.

Later on tonight, Jericho & JBL take on HBK and Batista

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back to see that the Cincinnati Bengals are in the audience.

SmackDown Rebound:  Jeff Hardy and Triple H have both been beaten up by Vladimir Kozlov over the last couple of weeks.

Mike Adamle is backstage with Shane McMahon, with Shane explaining that he wasn’t trying to step on Adamle’s toes.  Kane comes in and says hi to Shane before telling Adamle that he appreciates being fed Evan Bourne tonight, but that he still wants Rey Mysterio.  Adamle says it’s already booked for No Mercy, and that if he doesn’t mind, this is a private office.  Kane leaves, telling Shane to say hi to his mom.  Adamle asks how he did standing up to the Big Red Machine.  Shane says he did a good job.  Adamle then asks about Kane knowing Shane’s mom.  Shane says Kane knows her.  You know, if you consider tombstoning her on the stage and then tormenting her further by electrocuting her son’s testicles with a car battery knowing her.

Some schmuck is telling Kelly Kelly she’s wearing a beautiful outfit.  Beth Phoenix and Santino, wearing a protective mask, come by.  Kelly asks what’s wrong with his face.  Beth says that Kelly knows, and it’s not funny.  Santino says that Batista almost brokeded his face last week.  He then says that Batista is probably walking around dragging his knuckles on the floor and pretending to shoot machine guns like he’s 8 years old.  Batista walks up behind him, and Beth tells him that she’s going to take out what he did to them last week on his little friend Kelly tonight.  If Batista even thinks of getting involved in her match, her boyfriend is going to mess his face up.  Batista asks Santino if that’s right.  Santino’s music hits, and he says “thank God…  I mean… you’re lucky their playing my music for my match!”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Santino is in the ring, and showing off the Honk-A-Meter, which says that Santino’s only got 59 more weeks to go to be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time.  He’s interrupted by Deuce’s music.  Deuce comes to the ring, and Santino says that he hopes Batista is watching, because if Batista messes with him, he’s going to beat him up like he’s going to beat up Fonzy over here.  “The Happy Days are over!”

Santino Marella def. Deuce

Deuce goes after Santino’s face, as if that mask is some sort of target.  Deuce goes to set Santino up in the corner for a superplex, but Santino flips over him and rolls him up for the victory.

After the match, he says it’s just one victory for Glamarella tonight, and that Kelly Kelly is going to lose to the most beautiful woman in in the WWE, and the woman who orders him to purchase the contraceptics, Beth Phoenix!  She comes out and kisses him, which hurts his face.

Backstage, Rey Mysterio is giving Evan Bourne a pep talk for his match with Kane, which is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Rewind:  Evan Bourne saves Rey Mysterio from an assault by Kane

Kane def. Evan Bourne

Bourne puts up a fight, using his quickness and unique offense to keep from getting destroyed by Kane, but Kane turns the tide when he catches Bourne rushing in, lifting him up and punching him in the face on the way down.  He dominates for a bit before finally hitting a chokeslam for the victory.

After the match, Kane goes for a second chokeslam, but Rey Mysterio makes the save.  Well, tries to anyway.  He goes for a springboard crossbody, but Kane boots him out of the air and starts pounding away on Mysterio before chokeslamming him.  He then says that Rey is a coward who hides behind a mask.

Still to come, Michaels & Batista vs. Jericho & JBL

Jamie Noble is talking to Shane McMahon backstage, when he’s interrupted by Dolph Ziggler, who introduces himself to Noble and Shane-O Mac.  He leaves, and as Noble is about to resume his conversation, he’s interrupted again, this time by Randy Orton.  Shane excuses Noble, and Orton tells Shane that he respects him, but what he did wasn’t cool.  Shane says Orton needs to relax.  Shane respects Orton, and everything he accomplished, but they both know that after what he did to Punk, he’s getting off easy.  Orton says that he and Shane are the youngest, most influential and powerful third generation stars in the business and that it would be a shame if somehow they got on each other’s bad sides.  Shane agrees that it would be a shame, but for the record, Shane’s fourth generation.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Beth Phoenix is on her way to the ring for action against Kelly Kelly.  She’s joined by her boyfriend Santino Marella.

Kelly Kelly def. Beth Phoenix

Beth aggressively attacks Kelly to start the match, though Kelly manages to hold her own and battle back, if only momentarily.  Beth yells at Kelly as she beats her down to “Tell Batista.”  Backstage, Candice is watching on a monitor (which prompted these comments on the message boards at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com:  SABUISGOD: I guess they put Canned-Ass in front of a monitor so she has no chance of injuring herself watching.  AyatollahBlassie: yeah, but she botched a move and the monitor is out for 2 months …).  Santino tries to trip up Kelly, which distracts her, but she manages to move out of the way when The Glamazon tries to attack from behind, allowing her to roll up the Women’s Champion for the victory!

After the match, Glamarella go to assault Kelly, but Batista’s music hits.  Beth stands up to him, and Santino decks him.  It barely phases The Animal, who slingshots Santino’s protective mask back into his face before spearing him.  Beth thinks better of messing with Batista, and steps out onto the apron as Batista makes his leave.

We get a video package detailing the battle between Cryme Tyme and Miz & Morrison on their respective WWE.com shows.  They’ll be facing off, next!

Miz & Morrison def. Cryme Tyme

A pretty good back and forth tag team match, but the hosts of The Dirt Sheetuse a bit of misdirection, with The Miz managing to distract the referee while Morrison kicked Shad in the back of the head, allowing Miz to make the cover for the victory.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Chris Jericho is telling Adamle that Shane doesn’t want a yes-man, he wants a GM who is going to put his own spin on Shane’s ideas.  Jericho’s got something in mind for tonight’s main event.

We get a rundown of the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave & Busters to pay tribute to a legend.  In fact, you might call it the “Perfect” tribute.  He puts on a curly blonde wig, and fails miserably at all the games when trying to mimick the vintage Mr. Perfect vingettes.  He does the one where Perfect makes a perfect pass to himself, but winds up crashing into a waiter.  He gets up and says that it just goes to show that there really is only one Mr. Perfect.  Then he does the gum spit slap thing, and it winds up in some lady’s food.

Up next, Shawn Michaels & Batista take on Jericho & JBL!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We come back as Lillian Garcia is being told something.  She then says that the match is now a three on two handicapped match.

Lance Cade, Chris Jericho, & JBL def. Shawn Michaels & Batista

Early on, the match consists of all three heels taking turns beating up on HBK.  After what seemed like an eternity on defense, Michaels reversed a JBL fallaway slam into a DDT.  He manages to get the tag in to Batista as JBL tags in Jericho.  Batista dominates, tagging in HBK, who hits a Randy Savage elbow and goes for Sweet Chin Music.  Jericho ducks and goes for the Walls of Jericho, which is reversed into a pin attempt for two.  All hell breaks loose, and Batista gets backdropped over the top rope when he sets JBL up for a Batista Bomb.  Jericho misses a Lionsault, then tags in Cade.  Michaels takes down Cade, then goes for Sweet Chin Music on Jericho.  Jericho sees him setting up for it and evades it.  When HBK turns around, he gets hit with a sitout powerbomb by Cade, who pins him for the victory!

My Thoughts:

An OK episode of RAW, I would’ve expected better for the 800th episode.  Not much stood out to me in this episode, not even Shane’s return.  I’m not sure though, it might just be me, I haven’t managed to get a lot of sleep the last few days, so pretty much everything probably seems blah to me at this point.  Hopefully that won’t be the case tonight for ECW on SciFi.  See you in the morning for that review!

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