For those residing in the U.S.A., Smackdown has officially moved to SyFy and broadcasts live tonight. Whether or not this move will improve ratings for the B show or not, obviously remains to be seen. WWE will likely pull out all the stops tonight and feature some RAW talent to bolster the viewing audience. Let’s see what in tarnation they’ve done…

– Our intro has changed (or perhaps just for this debut?). It’s well produced footage, as usual, to the Green Day song “Know Your Enemy.” Much better than Nickleback. Period.

– I.C. champ Dolph Ziggler defends his title against MVP in our curtain jerk match. Not much happens as the two take it outside the ring… and out comes Nexus. They beat up both combatants. Wade Barrett is not present, but the Big Show now is, and he’s not friendly, nor green. Nexus takes him out. Out comes Cena, attacks and is too beaten up. Show comes back with a steel chair and begins evening shit out forcing the Nexus backstage. Wade Barrett pops up on the big screen and reminds us this is the go home show before “Hell in a Cell” airs on Sunday. Teddy Long joins Barrett and tells us Big Show will be in a 5 on 1 handicap match versus the Nexus and Cena will face Kane. That was a “cram-crap-filled” opening segment. Like 90.

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Into this one, sense has been slapped.

– Next up is Micheal Cole “on loan” from RAW. Great.

– Even better? Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Laycool versus Kelly Kelly Kelly, the Bella Kellies, and Natalya (from Calgary, Alberta, Canada) are fighting. Just cause. Meh…. FFW, damn straight.

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Metaphor!

– Natalya wins, appears strong going in the PPV.

– Jack Swagger’s All American American Home Coming Special is next up. He goes complete cheap pops on his home state, heelishly. Mildly entertaining to the TV audience, but the audience of course reacts huge. Will the goal of the WWE here trying to re-elevate his character work? Hmm… he just called himself the audience’s “King (of Oklahoma)” Why isn’t Lawler here “on loan.”? Ol’ Swags ends his rave sitting on a throne dressed as in a King outfit…

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Backfire ensues?

– Out comes Edge to interrupt. I’m hoping Edge’s jump to SD happens now… Edge is now on a mission to end anything stupid in the WWE due to the whole computer GM gimmick. Edge starts his “mission” as he puts it on Swagger and some fucking mascot Eagle. The mascot was there the whole time, but I couldn’t be bothered to mention that until now… BECAUSE IT WAS STUPID! “The Eagle is rising up like a Phoenix” muses Striker as Edge spears the fuck out of the mascot. AWESOME! LOVED THIS! Swagger uses this as a chance to sneak off.

-Cody Rhodes Beauty segment. I’ve completely lost interest in these… Rhodes is better on the microphone, but all the IWC really means: Hey! He’s not completely inept anymore at talking!

– It’s our Show v.s. Nexus swarming. This is not a tag match. It’s a clusterfuck of course, and I love’em. Good times! The Nexus get the numbers game, with a GREAT finish. They do this awesomely. All Nexus members each apply submission maneuvers on the Big Show’s head, arms, and legs. He passes out. He couldn’t even tap out. The match ends, but Nexus rapes Show nonetheless. Personally, I am not sick of this group yet. Is tonight a swan song?

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Commercials.

– Then more shill and recaps and the like. LOTS of time wasted FFW’ing. Taker/Kane video for 3 moons…

– Fortunately, CM Punk is wrestling the Undertaker. This match, even with the slow and plodding Taker, is now half good.

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Get it? Me neither, but I’m sure I could bullshit an answer anyways.

– MORE taped shit, this time reminding me I am going to fill seats at RAW on October 18th in Natalya Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I will post something, my camera phone sucks, but might scrounge something up off one of my teammates in “Empty Seat Death Squad.” Check either Bored Wrestling Fan or Project Wonderboy. I like to share, yo!

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Taker sure wastes a boatload of time on his way to the ring. Monks, smoke, gongs, fuckballs that was long…

– It’s an ok match, and Taker is not too lazy. Taker picks up the win with a chokeslam and tombstone piledriver as Paul Bearer goes batshit at ringside. What a nostalgic moment. Then another ten minutes of ads. Seriously.

– Alberto Del Rio is set to fight/confront Rey Mysterio as Christian is reported to be on the shelf for at least four months with a torn pec. Alberto cuts a great promo! His ring announcer brings down a chihuahua (which a lucha mask on) as Mysterio. After an amusing bit, the real Mysterio returns! He gets a wee bit of offense in, before Del Rio bails leaving his ring announcer to Rey. Rey’s back way too early from his latest injuries. Hopefully they job him out to boost Del Rio and let him rest after Sunday.

– Who else would you expect to see tonight? Randy Orton, you say? Correct, he comes out dressed to wrestle Cody Rhodes (w/ McIntyre). Will a week go by where we are not reminded that Cody Rhodes does not wear kneepads by the announce team? NO!! These two are having a pretty decent bout. Rhodes eats an RKO and Orton pins him. McIntyre dismantled post match? Check. Sheamus run in attack? Check. Sheamus knocking out Orton with a big boot? Check.

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– Kane makes his way out to face Cena. Yawn… entrances…. time… wasted… Nexus are the lumberjacks for this match. The first half is essentially a back and forth brawl. When there are four sides to the ring, and your lumberjacks only number 5, the best strategy is to only cover the camera sides of the ring.

– Cena supermans Kane out of the ring to the Nexus who kind of just ignore him and taunt Cena. Cena tosses one into Kane, so the chaos and clusterfuck ensues… brief scuffles, Cena walks off cautiously, GONG, DARKNESS, Taker in the ring and attacks Kane! They fight amongst the announce tables brawl brawl brawl, in the audience… and all around. Essentially hiding age and injuries (again tonight). Very long brawler match… one that I HAVE to place on 3/5 speed of FFW…

– MAGIC MAGIC MAGIC! Paul Bearer uses the urn to “Hulk up” Taker who takes the upper hand. Kane, does escape his brother of destruction.

– The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

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Random Morphine Reference:

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Good times from the original game

– This just in, G has been offered a copy of Dead Rising 2 for $40 (reg. $65 Canucklebucks), does he buy this? OF COURSE. This show is sponsored by this game. G’s challenge? Win the game fairly quickly (GRIND!!!), win it, and trade it in for at least $30 around the end of the year. I’m really happy about this!

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Shameless Plugs!

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Bored Wrestling Fan

Project Wonderboy

Morphine Nation

LarG Productions

Thinksobrain

3 Comments

  1. Am I the only one who felt like "Smackdown" wasn't really "Smackdown" at all, but more of a RAW Junior? Sure, they might have to do that to an extent to get the changeover to work, but there was just too much focus on RAW talent who will have nothing to do with "Smackdown" after this one show, and some people who tuned in will be disappointed and stop watching.

    I had really hoped that Cody Rhodes would be able to step up to Orton more than he did. I know that you praised it as a "pretty decent bout," but it seemed like the usual Orton match to me. Would it really damage Orton to have gotten beaten down by Drew McIntyre after the match? I think not, and it would have been great for McIntyre. I'd actually like to see a McIntyre/Orton feud, as the wrestling styles would work well. I guess it would only be a matter of time before a slightly out-of-position RKO resulted in another Orton temper tantrum and another killed push, though.


  2. You are certainly not alone in likening last nights episode to RAW. It also was more of a giant thwock of advertising more than wrestling matches.

    I agree McIntyre would have really benefited from a post match beat down. The use of "pretty decent bout" is about as positive a rating as I felt I could give it. I hate trying to attach number ratings to these things since my criteria is really subjective and varies based on my own mood at the time. What I liken as pretty decent, would fall somewhere between a 5/10 – 7.5/10. To me, "decent" is "passable" for the WWE. If that makes any sense to anyone.

    I also concur on the point about people looking for their Smackdown regulars, and getting none of it. Kaval in a match would have been great. You know, if they're going to bring over talent from RAW, how about a Kaval/Bourne match? Even if given 3 minutes, it would have been far more entertaining than another Legendary ad. An even BETTER booked one-off would have been Miz and Alex Riley versus Daniel Bryan and Kaval. Hell, that would have actually made some sense! 🙂


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