TNA Impact Wrestling 7/11/13By Noyce · · Leave a Comment
Today for lunch I’m eating leftover pizza! Let’s see what Impact is offering.
Show starts with a backstage segment where Anderson says he just wants Bully in a match. Dixie agrees to give him the match if he does her a favour and he accepts.
The Main Event Mafia, complete with the rehabbed Angle, come out to the ring. Sting says he formed the mafia to stop Aces and Eights and they’ve done it. He then goes on to disband the Mafia. Yep, he disbanded the Mafia. They’re all dealing with their own stuff and so it’s for the best they go their separate ways for now. He puts over each member of the mafia and says they will all seize the moment and become world champion. Sting personally is going to deal with the entitlement that some people in the back feel. He has a huge level of respect for the business and those who came before him and he’s going to take care of the people who don’t. Sting passes the torch, I mean microphone, to Joe and walks out the ring.Joe has been denied a championship for far too long and while he’s friends with Angle and Magnus, they make far better enemies. He walks out and Magnus grabs the mic. He puts over Angle, calling him the greatest of all time. Angle’s road to redemption is also Magnus’s road to destiny and, should they meet on that road, Magnus is going to run him down and get the gold. He then walks out, leaving Angle with no one to cut a promo on. That doesn’t stop him though. He has to win the tournament to prove that he’s hall of fame worthy. He mentions being knocked out a second time and goes to say he has great news when Bobby Roode’s music hits.
Roode says that he’s embarrassed for Angle because he keeps making excuses. He needs to just admit that he lost twice. If Angle happens to make it to the final stage of the tournament then Roode will have no problem kicking his ass for a third time. Angle says he expects to meet Bobby Roode in the finals and when it happens, Roode’s ass will be his. A brawl kicks off which is quickly stopped by refs and Atlas Security.
They went to commercial during the brawl and when it’s over Angle is shirtless and sat on a chair in the ring. He calls Roode out and they have another brawl even though they’ve just had one. That was a little odd. They get pulled apart. Again. It’s prretty much a repeat of the last segment. Bad Influence come out to help hold Roode back and Magnus and Joe come out to help hold Angle back. I thought we’d get a six man tag match even though the Mafia just said they were going their separate ways. It was actually a pretty cool segment to put over just how much these guys want to beat the crap out of eachother.
Bad Influence are at ringside arguing with Pacman Jones, who’s a guest by the way. Pacman Jones and some other guy jump the railing and actually slam Bad Influence in the ring. Welp. Fuck. They even got their own music.
Backstage with Aces and Twos. They say the condition of their club is no business of TNA. Anderson walks up and says he doesn’t blame those guys for what happened and that leaving the club was the best thing that happened to him. What Aces and Eights has become isn’t what they started.Velvet Sky vs Brooke vs ODB
Velvet Sky and Brooke begin by having an ass off. That’s the only way to describe it. ODB makes things serious by doing a double Bronco Buster. ODB gets sent out the ring and we get Velvet vs Brooke so it’s typical three way fare. ODB breaks a pin and eats a spinning neckbreaker by Brooke. Brooke even does a top rope elbow drop. Lei’D Tapa and Gail Kim come out as we go to commercial.
We come back to all three just hitting eachother. ODB locks on a single leg crab and Velvet hooks the other leg. They both release the hold and trade shots. ODB comes out on top and has a stare down with Tapa and Brooke takes advantage before getting planted by Velvet. Velvet throws then both in the ring and things continue as normal. Tapa and Gail Kim hop on the apron for a distraction and run in the ring for a DQ. Gail takes out Velvet and orders Tapa to take out Brooke. ODB and Tapa brawl with ODB coming out on top. Gail grabs a mic and says she has no competition left. With Tapa by her side she’s unstoppable. She issues an open challenge for any female wrestler outside TNA to come and challenge her. If they win they’ll even get a title shot.
There’s a video package on AJ going to Triple A and winning. It’s paid for by “The Friends of AJ”.
Backstage with Aces and Twos. They concede that maybe Anderson is right. Bully comes in and says that he knows everything, including their little talk with Anderson. Bully reaffirms again that he brought the club together for all of them. Bisch interrupts him and asks when they last had a vote and Knux says that for the last year it’s been about what Bully Ray wanted. Knux says they’re going to have a vote. All of them, including Tazz. No idea what they’re voting on but Bully threatens Bischoff and tells him to vote the right way.
Dixie is in her office complaining about something. Possibly wondering how AJ’s video package got played. He hacked into the feed after taking lessons from Big Show. Ethan Carter walks in and Dixie says that this week he gets to pick his own opponent. EC3 says he’s worried that his streak might be over this week and Dixie pumps him up.
Aces and Twos are in the ring and Bischoff has the microphone. He said something like “We’re here to decide the club vote to decide the future of this club.” He asks Taz to come in the ring and then calls out Bully Ray. Taz actually got a few “one more match” chants. I believe that physically he doesn’t have another match in him. Bully asks if the crowd knows who he is and Bisch runs him down, saying that he is the poison that’s killing Aces and Eights. Before they can get to the vote Anderson comes out. Anderson says he’s just out there to watch the club implode. We finally find out what the vote is as Bischoff says his vote is that he’s finished. Basically they’re choosing if they’re going to stay in the club or not. Bischoff takes his jacket off and puts it on a ringpost. Bully tries to win Knux’s favour but he has none of it. Knux also takes his cut off and puts it on a turnbuckle.
Bully says that because he and Taz are going to vote in favour of staying it’ll go to a tie and when there’s a tie, the president wins by default. Bully puts over how loyal Taz and offers him the mic. Taz says that he’s also done and voting to disband because everyone else is right. He offers his cut to Bully personally. Bully tells him to put it back on and Taz dares Bully to make him do it. Bully threatens him again and Taz threatens do destroy him. Anderson calls for Taz to suplex Bully. I don’t think he even has a suplex left in him. Bully says it’s all Anderson’s fault and Anderson says he wants to fight Bully’s ass. They’re having a no DQ match at the next free PPV/special or whatever they call them. Bully says that he can’t believe Anderson, who respects Stone Cold so much, forgot the first rule. Knux and Bischoff ram him from behind (COCK TALK!) and Bully tells him not to trust anybody. After each word he delivered a chain shot. Bully says when you ride with Aces and Eights, you never walk alone. The entire thing was a swerve. Not bad.
Taz and Tenay were talking about the Aces and Eights swerve when Bobby Roode runs out and challenges Kurt Angle to a match. Instead of Angle we get EC3.
EC3 vs Dewey Barnes
They don’t even bother giving EC3 new jobbers. If he gets to pick his own opponent I thought maybe he’d pick a mid carder and recieve something close to an actual push. It’s an EC3 jobber match. What more do you need to know? He has a new quirk now though. He raises his finger in the air to symbolise that he’s a one percenter and one percenter is now the name of his finishing move.
Bad Influence vs EY and Joseph Park
Daniels refers to himself as sexually delicious during his entrance. I felt the need to point that out. EY and Daniels start things off but that doesn’t last long as Kaz runs into the ring and attacks EY from behind. EY fights them off and tags Park in. EY botches an Ericanrana but hits an actual suicide dive and cross body. Words don’t really do justice to how beautiful Bad Influence are as a tag team and how they flow together so amazingly well. Kaz distracts the ref so that he doesn’t see EY and Park tag but it’s for nothing as EY fights out of the two on one and tags Park a few seconds after. Daniels breaks up a Boston Crab and Daniels and EY go out of the ring for a brawl. Daniels goes to hit EY with the timekeeper’s hammer but the ref stops him. As the ref is picking up the hammer Daniels grabs his appletini and throws it in Park’s face and Kaz picks up the win.
Jeff Hardy vs Frail Sabin in a Tables, Ladders and Stairs match.
Because they couldn’t actually say “Tables, ladders and chairs” they always referred to this by saying “Tables, ladders, and stairs” or “Tables, ladders, chairs and stairs”. Sabin is still the X-Division champion so guess who’s going to win this one? Sabin offers a handshake and Hardy reverses the cheap shot. Listen, because this is a spot fest match, I’ll just tell you the big shit that happens. They have a tug of war with the ladder which ends with Hardy getting crushed in the corner twice. Sabin also hits a neckbreaker on the rope to send Jeff in the ladder. Hardy delivers a big back drop onto the ladder. Hardy hits a trash can to the head for a two count. It wasn’t a big moment but Hardy broke a table when he tried to put it down. He then walked past one table on his way to another, kinda giving away what would happen to the table he walked past. Anyway, he set the table up in the corner but failed to put Sabin through it. Sabin has Hardy in a Tree of Woe and puts a chair next to Hardy’s face and gives it a baseball slide. Hardy puts Sabin on the table he walked past earlier but Sabin got off so Hardy went through it when delivering a splash. Sabin sets up the table in the ring properly and lays Hardy on it. Sabin went for a splash of his own but Hardy put his knees up. What’s the damn psychology in that? Yeah, you hurt Sabin, but you still go through the table. If you can get your knees up you can probably get off the table.
Anyway, Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and sets up a ladder. He floats over the top with a front flip and hits a Swanton for the win. The show goes off the air with the doctors and Velvet Sky checking on Sabin. Having Velvel there was a nice touch. She even changed into her street clothes for the appearance.
All in all it wasn’t a bad show. There seemed to be a whole lot of not-wrestling though. Not as bad as a few weeks ago mind. The brawls got pretty old and stale too by the third one. I just didn’t care. The main event was kinda meh-ish too which was surprising given the stipulation and participants. Not a bad show by any stretch, but it really could have been better. I’m saying that and I’m a TNA apologist who defends them all the time.
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