Home ▸ Impact ▸ Are black baseball bats on sale? iMPACT 7/24/08

Well, another not so bad edition of iMPACT, with lots of guys getting face time this week.  Improving upon last week, the main focus of the show was actually Samoa Joe and Booker T instead of a mid-card tag team (no offense, Beer Money, you guys are my favorite team in TNA right now.)  There was even time for some enhancement talent on this week’s show.  Congratulations on your vast improvement over the last couple of weeks, TNA!

Results and my thoughts, after the jump!

iMPACT kicks off with TNA Champion Samoa Joe standing in the Six Sides of Steel with Kevin Nash.  Joe is coming to get his belt back at Hard Justice, and he wants to settle things in the Six Sides of Steel.  Booker T comes out to the iMPACT Zone with the TNA Championship, and says that he’s got a better idea.  Six Sides of Steel, plus tables, ladders, and chairs.  He’ll be out later with a contract, if Joe’s got the guts to sign it.  While we’re waiting, though, Joe should be “afraid of the dark.”  Could this mean Sting?

Christian Cage at WrestleMania X-8

Christian is standing by with AJ Styles and Rhino.  Is Sting really siding with Kurt Angle and Team 3D?  Well, if he is, so be it.  AJ Styles, on the other hand, doesn’t believe that Sting is on Angle’s side, but if he is, oh well.

Consequences Creed def. Jimmy Rave, Johnny Devine, and Eric Young in a Fatal Four Way.

I don’t remember much of this match, you’ll have to forgive me.  I was actually half asleep through about the midway point of the show.  Creed picked up the win by pinning Devine with a rollup.  Afterward, Devine, along with the Rock and Rave Infection attacked Creed, who was saved by Abyss.  Abyss picked up a chair, looking like he wanted to use it, but he remembered his therapy and threw the chair back down.

Team 3D and Kurt Angle have JB lying on a table in the back, as they tell him that Sting is on their side.

We get a video package of Kaz losing a bunch of matches, followed by his appearance on Karen’s Angle.  Kaz talks about being trained by Killer Kowalski and Bret Hart.  He said he left TNA but was held down at the other place he went to work by politics, a side of the business he still hates.  Part two of the interview is next week.

“The Blueprint” Matt Morgan def. Kory Chavis

The announcers made brief mention of Morgan’s debut this past Monday on American Gladiators as “Beast,” and that was entertaining – simply because Chavis’s ring gear looked like he was the red contender on Gladiators.  Morgan treated him like he treated his Joust opponents this past Monday, squashing him before finishing him off with the Hellavator.

Backstage, Lauren is with the newest editions to the BoredWrestlingFan.com “never give these people mic time again” club, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, The Motor City Machine Guns.  They make fun of Beer Money and then babble on about how Detroit is the murder city and how they were raised there.  These guys are worse on the mic than Cody Rhodes was as a face.

The Prince Justice Brotherhood is backstage with Lauren, and they’re coming up with a catch phrase.  Super Eric has a superthought, and comes up with “We come in peace, they leave in pieces.”  Curry Man has a hard time saying it in his engrish accent, but they all agree to it anyway.

Beer Money def. The Motor City Machine Guns in a Strap Match

In my podcast this week, I’d mistakenly said that this was going to be a tag title match between LAX and Beer Money.  Guess I misheard Tenay last week.  Anyways, the Machine Guns looked pretty good in this one, but the tide turned when Miss Jacqueline handed Roode some handcuffs, which he proceeded to use as brass knucks to knock the Machine Guns out and pick up the win.  After the match, Beer Money handcuffed the Guns to the turnbuckles and proceeded to whip them with the straps until LAX made the save.

Taylor Wilde def. Velvet Sky in an iMPACT Zone record 5 seconds.

The bell rang, Sky was still conversing with Angelina Love, Wilde ran in and rolled her up for a pin to retain the Knockout’s Championship.  Sky got on the microphone and said that she wasn’t ready and that she didn’t hear the bell.  So Taylor decided to grant her a rematch.

Taylor Wilde def. Velvet Sky in 20 seconds.

While Sky tried to get payback for her super quick loss, she found herself rolled up again, and once again pinned.  The announcer said that it was another iMPACT Zone record – winning two falls in a span of 25 seconds.  Angelina Love says that Taylor can’t do it again, and she’ll give her $5,000 of her own money if she can prove her wrong.

Taylor Wilde def. Velvet Sky via disqualification.

Sky put up a much better fight in this one, but in the end, she was hit with a bridged Northern Lights Suplex, but before the referee could count three, Angelina Love attacked Wilde, who moments earlier stomped on her hand while she wasn’t looking.  The Beautiful People beat down the Champion and give her the brown paper bag treatment, but bail out when Gail Kim and ODB come to make the save.

Davairi has changed his name.  He’s now known as Shiek Abdul Bashir.

Sonjay Dutt is the biggest overseller of a chairshot in wrestling history, because he’s apparently been in a coma since faking a Lethal chairshot last week to make So Cal Val feel sorry for him.  She comes to visit him in the hospital because she feels bad.  Sonjay asks if she saw the replay – she didn’t.  He has to use the bathroom so he kicks everybody out of the room.  It’s revealed that he’s stolen Val’s engagement ring.

Kurt Angle was the only survivor of a six-man, five tables elimination match.

Brother Devon was launched off the top rope and through a table to be the first elimination.  During a commercial break, Rhino inadvertantly eliminated himself by goring a table.  Brother Devon takes advantage of a distracted referee, returning to the ring and assisting in the elimination of Christian Cage via 3D through a table.  Johnny Devine attempts to help out but inadvertantly blinds Brother Ray with some powder.  He gets inadvertantly put through a table for his troubles, followed by Brother Ray falling through one on his own in his blinded state.  It’s down to Angle and Styles.  As AJ goes to the top, he’s caned by Frank Trigg.  Angle puts AJ through a table and picks up the win.

Booker T brings his wife Sharmell and a contract for a TLC Match inside of a Six Sides of Steel match at Hard Justice down to the ring.  Joe brings Kevin Nash.  Booker asks that Nash leaves.  Joe says he wants the man who’s holding his belt to feel comfortable, so he’ll send Nash out if Book sents his bat-weilding wench of a wife out.   Both parties agree, and Book signs the contract.  As Joe is preparing to do so, the lights go out.  When they come back on, Joe is unconscious, and Booker T is the one holding a black baseball bat as we fade to black.

My Thoughts

I enjoyed the show.  I thought it was well paced for a second straight week, and I’m able to follow the storylines pretty well for once.  I thought it was pretty interesting that Matt Morgan’s opponent had ring gear similar to what a contender on American Gladiators would wear.  Wonder if that was planned?  I’m not too big on the announcers assuming that everything involving a black baseball bat or the lights going out has to do with Sting.  Anybody can just go to a store and buy a black baseball bat, and I’m sure that with the money these guys who are saying that Sting is on their side make, it wouldn’t be too hard to pay off a production guy to turn the lights off at any given time.  Still, it’s making for a good story and good television.  It’s still not RAW or SmackDown good, but it’s going in the right direction.

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