In Honor of the Random One…
By Drowgoddess · · 3 CommentsMoving, moving, everybody’s moving! Better to do it during the cold than in stifling heat. Our fearless leader, ThinkSoJoE, the Random One, JT, and the Unsinister Scotsman, Jamie Kennedy are all indulging in this ritual as we speak. Do you think that they all called each other and planned it out? You know, like guys think that girls do with clothes?
In any case, with so many BWF writers otherwise engaged, it seemed a shame to let the doings in the world, wrestling and otherwise, pass unremarked. In honor of JT’s “Random Randomness,” here are some thoughts.
1. Thanksgiving was yummy and pleasant for me, as I hope it was for you. As difficult as some of our family members can be, particularly during holidays, enjoy them and appreciate them. When you know someone whose entire immediate family had died by the time that he graduated high school, and who was essentially cast loose by most remaining relatives and had nowhere to go, you realize just how good you have it.
2. Black Friday is stupid. I hope that those of you camping out in front of stores to shop at 4 am were cold. Life is more and better than this. There will be perfectly good shopping deals over the next three weeks. If you were one of those who actually celebrated Thanksgiving a day early so that you could spend Thursday resting up and prepping for Black Friday shopping, I hang my head in shame and do not wish to know you.
3. CM Punk on commentary is fantastic, as most of us knew. He knows when NOT to talk, and constantly redirects the focus to the match that is going on in the ring. Bless you, Punk.
4. Michale Cole was not a bad announcer before, but he is much too over-the-top now. He appears on both RAW and “Smackdown,” and because Vince seems to love the 3-man announce team, I fear that we’re stuck. I prefer the 2-man team, and both combinations function better without Cole. Punk and Lawler, and Striker and Grisham. That’s all we need. I know that it will never happen, but go away, Cole. I get it. I get it perfectly well. I just don’t like it. I am not alone.
3. Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus seem the top picks to win King of the Ring. I wish that KOTR were still its own ppv.
4. Natalya is the Divas Champion. All is right with the world. Now, if she could just get set up in a proper feud with Beth Phoenix and/or Tamina, and Michelle McCool could meet with an unfortunate wood chipper accident….
5. Kevin Nash trashing the Miz as World Champ reeks of a pathetic attempt to keep himself in the spotlight and somehow relevant. Being involved in the original nWo angle doesn’t give Nash greatness carte blanche for life. Go away.
6. RIP, Leslie Nielsen. Some of the younger generation don’t know that “Airplane” was the first time that his prankish nature was shown on film. He was a serious leading man in his early days. Everyone who has ever watched “Forbidden Planet” on MST3K sighs a little more heavily today. You were a great talent, sir, and you shall surely be missed. Don’t call me Shirley! 🙂
7. “Juan Cena” is one of the dumbest ideas that I have ever watched play out. There are photos circulating the interwebs to support my claim. After the big televised farewell speech, WWE is simply slapping a purple-and-yellow luchedore mask on Cena and having him work as “Juan Cena,” John Cena’s cousin from Mexico who was just signed to the WWE. Does WWE honestly not want fans to be able to even slightly believe in ANYTHING? Sheesh.
8. I didn’t want to dignify it with a mention, but the latest Matt and Jeff Hardy video, where a possibly not-sober Jeff rips on CM Punk with considerable profanity, with Matt playing the straight man in the background, is beyond pathetic. Boys, you have no class and no understanding of how to function as grown-ups. Matt is a useless hanger-on with an unhealthy obsession with “working the internet,” despite the fact that the internet fans he professes to despise so much are the very ones who got him his job back and gave him the appearance of popularity. He brings nothing to the table, and when TNA eventually hires him, he will prove this. His behavior is that of a miserable jerk whose sense of entitlement far outweighs his talent. No wonder Lita left him. Jeff is an unrepentant junkie with serious federal drug charges pending, and whether or not he was actually high in the video doesn’t matter. It surfaces at a time when he is the World champion and supposed to be the face of the company for whom he works. This sort of disgraceful behavior would have resulted in him being fired from any other job, and though TNA won’t even punish him, let alone fire him, they should. Don’t even get me started that a man who behaves like this and practically flaunts his drug habit is about to be responsible for raising a child.
9. I refuse to acknowledge anything Christmas-y until December 1. So there.
10. “Faster” is catching a lot of flak because “The Rock isn’t funny!” So? That doesn’t make it a bad movie. If it IS a bad movie, that’s more due to the scriptwriter and director than it is to one particular actor. I personally applaud Dwayne Johnson for trying something outside of his comfort zone. The remake of “A Nightmare on Elm Street” got a similar reaction. Lots of people hated it because “Freddy wasn’t funny! He didn’t have snazzy one-liners all over the place.” Um. If you look back at the first movie, Freddy wasn’t SUPPOSED to be funny. He’s a remorseless killer who can slaughter you in your dreams. Sure, be eventually BECAME a pop culture icon that everyone loved, but he started out as a scary, awful guy. I like him better that way. The same idea applies to Dwayne Johnson.
Comment below and share your thoughts. There will be a shake-up in the program reviews this week, as several writers have decided to play musical chairs with our reviews in order to prevent burn-out. Make sure that you come back and join us to see how that works out!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
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3 Comments
Professor Goldberg
Did you feed your mini-me as well?
OK< here's what SHOULD have happened: big battle royal two weeks before KOTR to determine entrant number 26, with all non-KOTR entrants fighting. Have three or four masked schmoes in as well to add variety. The winner of this BR would end up being the mysteeeeerious stranger who calls himself "Juan Cena". You have a week to play up Barrett's reaction and objections, and Juan Cena wins KOTR and unmasks, revealing that KOTR constitutes a contract of employment.
Or I could watch my beard grow in the mirror. It's more entertaining these days.
ThinkSoJoE
Professor Goldberg, when did you become Vince Russo? Which reminds me, why doesn't anybody ever contribute to VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com anymore?
Gee Hall
Hmm… there is some repeated numbering here…. 1, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 5, 6, etc. secret code? 🙂
2). While us Canucks do ours up in October, there is very little that could pry me away for my Mom's turkey dinner…
3). He's gold. Punk shines in this role.
4). Fargo
the other 4). Fargo as well.
5). I missed that Nash rant.
6). This is very sad news.
10). Ok, I am from the original camp for the series of A Nightmare on Elmstreet, but not because Freddy isn't funny. This is because the very first film in the original series didn't feature a wisecracking night stalking child murderer. He's depicted as mostly quietly lurking in the shadows. But I have heard this criticism of the remake as well, and I guess is irks me for the way the Englund version became more reliant on one liners.