Home ▸ Drowgoddess ▸ “iMPACT” Impressions 11/19/09

After a half-completed review last week, and a total MIA during Sunday’s ppv, let’s see if your Empress of “iMPACT” can pull off an entire review! Cross the line, peoples!

To the ring! Mick Foley and Abyss hit the ring. Foley’s eye is bandaged. He is quite put out that Dixie Carter does not seem to value him anymore as a member of TNA. Foley is madder about not being kept in the loop regarding the signing of Hulk Hogan than the attack by Raven. Dr. Stevie, Raven, and a smokin’ zombie-hot Daffney (complete with plaid vest and top hat) step out. Dr. Stevie makes a few bad puns that have to do with heat. Raven takes the mic, and announces his disappointment in “Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy.” Raven had hoped to bring out the old Mick Foley. Instead, Foley is more concerned with corporate intrigues. Raven questions Foley’s “authori-tie.” Raven questions whether Foley even has the power to make a match for them tonight. Foley gets furious, and insists that he does. Quoth Mick Foley, the match is on! What match, I do not know.

Mike Tenay and Taz talk up the show, and tell us to stay tuned for the Sting interview.

To the back! JB interviews Kurt Angle and AJ Styles. JB brings up comments from Desmond Wolfe and Daniels against both men. AJ says that he didn’t go into the match to pin Daniels. He went in to the match to win it, and he did. Angle cares more about losing the World title after Matt Morgan kicked him in the face. Angle takes issue with AJ giving Daniels a title match. AJ says that he can’t back down from a challenge. He’d love nothing more than to meet Angle one-on-one. Angle tells AJ to stop talking about it and do it.

Match #1: Scott Steiner vs. Amazing Red (w/ Don West): WTF? Don West comments from ringside, telling us how upset he is with this match bneing made at all. Amazing Red’s X-Division title isn’t on the line, and Steiner could end Red’s career over nothing. Tenay and Taz agree. Red tries to use speed and agility, but Steiner catches him and totally out-powers Red. Steiner pummels Red into oblivion, even pulling him up just before a three-count. Steiner hits Red with a stiff piledriver, then leaves the ring. Steiner returns with a pipe and the X-Division title belt. Steiner attacks the prone Red with the pipe. The match is ended, and Steiner is disqualified. As Steiner abuses Red, Bobby Lashley rushes the ring. Steiner bails, yelling, “What’s HE doing out here?”

Winner by DQ: Amazing Red

Drowgoddess’s Thoughts (DGT):  This was pointless. If the idea was to have Lashley make the save on someone who had to fight Steiner, did it have to be the X-Division champion? That just makes the division and the champion of it look incredibly weak. Pick someone else.

To the back! JB interviews Kevin Nash and Eric Young. Nash hands over the Global Championship to Young. Nash says that Young did what few in the business have ever done, out-thought the smartest man in the business. Nash was impressed, and makes an offer to join Young’s group. Young and Nash shake hands.

Match #2: Beer Money & the Motor City Machine Guns vs. the British Invasion & Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/ Eric Young): Referee Earl Hebner tells Young that if he gets out of his chair at the commentary table, World Elite gets disqualified. Nash stands behind Young. Storm and Kiyoshi open the match. Shelley tags in, and Shelley and Sabin double-team Kiyoshi with kicks. Shelley and Kiyoshi go. Wow! Kiyoshi drops Shelley with a kick to the face. Bashir tags in and stomps on Shelley. The constant commentary between Tenay, Taz, and Young really distracts from the in-ring action. Kiyoshi tags back in and takes it to Shelley. World Elite isolates Alex Shelley and beats him down, but Shelley refuses to give up. Shelley tags in Sabin, and the future Mr. Drowgoddess makes Brutus Magnus his bitch for a few moments. Beer Money crotch Bashir on the ring post. The Guns knock Kiyoshi to the floor, where Beer Money suplexes him on the ramp. During all the interference, Rob Terry tries to help Magnus take out Sabin. Sabin dodges, and Terry collides with Magnus. Sabin hits a jumping enziguri on Terry. The Guns hit their double-team neckbreaker / splash on Magnus, and Shelley gets the three-count. Post-match, World Elite is all over Rob Terry for his interference and general screw-uppery.

Winners: Motor City Machine Guns & Beer Money

DGT: Too many people at once. What action there was was good, but if the point was the World Elite friction with Rob Terry, this could have been accomplished with a basic tag match.

To the back! Foley wants answers from Nash. Nash tells Foley that his two-week suspension with no pay has rendered him without money. If Foley gets Nash his money back, Nash will give him all of the answers that Foley wants.

To the Hulk Hogan video package!

To the office! Abyss pleads with Foley to give up the idea of wrestling with a burned and damaged eye. He even asks JB to talk sense to Foley. Foley is having none of it. Abyss insists that Foley should not go out there tonight. Foley says that the choice is his, and he will go out there. Foley continues to speak bitterly about Dixie Carter choosing not to tell him about bringing in Hulk Hogan.

Match #3: Hamada vs. Taylor Wilde: Wilde comes to the ring alone, sporting her Knockouts Tag Team Championship title belt. This should be good, so I’m taking a time out. Wow, this is good stuff! STIFF DDT from Hamada, but Wilde barely gets the shoulder up. Ouch! Hamada kicks Wilde in the face with full extension. Wilde kicks out. Reversals and counters galore. Hamada gets the win after the Hamada Driver. As short as it was, this match totally buries any Divas match of recent times, ppv or free tv.

Winner: Hamada

DGT: Thoroughly solid wrestling match here, with both women delivering. This is the Knockouts division that I loved so much. Are there any other tag teams aside from The Beautiful people to fight Taylor Wilde and Sarita, though?

To the back! Abyss locks Foley in the office and barricades the door to keep him from participating in the match.

To the Hulk Hogan video package!

Match #4: Raven & Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss & ???:  Abyss rushes the ring. Foley’s music plays, but no Foley. Abyss goes to the floor and attacks Raven and Dr. Stevie. Abyss gets double-teamed, and Raven hits him with a Russian Leg Sweep into the guard rail. Upon returning to the ring, Dr. Stevie throws punches at Abyss’s head. Raven quickly tags in, and the double-teaming ensues. Raven and Dr. Stevie are all quick tags and double-teams. Abyss fights out, and splashes both Raven and Dr. Stevie in the corner. Abyss hits the Shock Treatment on Dr. Stevie, but Raven sets up to throw a fireball at Abyss. Abyss kicks it out of his hands. Referee Slick Johnson sees the evidence of the fireball attempt, and disqualifies Raven and Dr. Stevie. Post-match, Abyss is jumped and double-teamed. Raven nails him with the Evenflow DDT. Daffney brings out an electric cable. Raven and Dr. Stevie nearly hang Abyss with the cable through the ring ropes.

Winner by DQ: Abyss

DGT:  Another DQ on the same night? Ok. The match itself wasn’t bad, nor was the concept. I love having the Psycho Circus back in action.

To “Trash Talk with ODB!” Her guest is Homicide. He brings alcohol. He likes the set, her bloomers, and nasty partying with ODB. He was a great guest to have, and I enjoyed this segment much, much more than I should have.

To the back! Lauren interviews a newly-returned Tomko, who is quite the jolly fellow. The Beautiful People interrupt and stage their own interview, with Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne actually being quite entertaining.

To the video package of AJ Styles praising Hulk Hogan. AJ says that everything that Hogan has touched has turned to gold. Really, AJ? Really?

Match #5: Alissa Flash vs. Sarita: Tenay and Taz continue to talk up Flash’s targeting of Traci Brooks’s arm last week. Flash is all power and aggression, while Sarita counters with speed, agility, and high-risk moves. Flash repeatedly zips and unzips her jacket, much to the frustration of The Green Teabagger. Sarita kicks out of a slam. More counters and reversals. Sarita hits a reverse mule kick straight to the face of Flash, and gets the pin. Post-match, Traci Brooks attacks Flash.

Winner: Sarita

DGT:  Another short but quality Knockouts match. I hate the Traci Brooks angle. If she’s supposed to be making a face turn because of it, it isn’t working. Good fighters target the weaknesses of their opponents. If Traci has such a severe birth defect and can’t handle the ring, she shouldn’t be in it. Period.

To the back! Foley hunts Raven and Dr. Stevie. He sees Daffney, and as he approaches her, Dr. Stevie throws a platform at Foley. Raven uses cable to choke Foley from the railing of a staircase. They ask Foley if he’s having fun yet. Nice bit.

Match #6: Team 3D & Rhino vs. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, & “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero: This is a street fight. Everybody wears their usual ring gear except for The Pope, who is in pants and sneakers and a pimpin’ hat. The faces rush the ring, attacking before proper entrances can be made. The plunder’s a-flyin’ in this one, and it’s a total trash can match. The Pope looks awesome in his offense. Matt Morgan puts a trash can over Devon’s head and lays into him with bare elbows. Rhino and Hernandez go. Hernandez hits a huge splash on Rhino (after The Pope placed a cookie sheet on Rhino’s chest), but Rhino kicks out. The Pope is a psycho ninja with the kendo stick. Devon gets a flying elbow to the groin from The Pope as Morgan and Hernandez hold his legs. The Pope orders Morgan and Hernandez to “get the tables!” Morgan gets put through a table on the outside. Team 3D hits the 3D on The Pope. Rhino squirms out of a Border Toss. Hernandez flattens Rhino. The referee counts, but is pulled out of the ring at 2 1/2. By whom? Jesse Neal runs in, mohawk, tongue piercing, and shirtless, to hit Hernandez with a chair and place Rhino over Hernandez. The heels get the win due to bad-boy Neal’s interference, which was totally legal in a street fight.

Winners: Team 3D & Rhino

DGT: I don’t care much for trash can matches, but this was good. The “young guys” looked great, and totally dominated for most of the match. Beating Team 3D and Rhino at their own game certainly makes them look strong. If they insist on using Jesse NEal, this is definitely the way to go.

To the back! JB interviews Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal. Rhino welcomes Neal, and Brother Ray hails Neal as the newest member of the wrecking crew. Neal is the future of TNA, not Morgan, Hernandez, or The Pope. Devon says that they will eliminate Morgan, Hernandez, and The Pope, not the other way around.

To the announce table! Tenay and Taz apologize for the fact that Sting no-showed his interview. They mention Sting’s home in Dallas, Texas. What? Since when?

To the back! Lauren interviews Desmond Wolfe and Daniels, who will tag team against Angle and AJ tonight. Wolfe says that he has developed much respect for Daniels, as they both have something to prove to their opponents. Daniels says that if AJ were really so good, why couldn’t he beat him (Daniels) at “Turning Point?” Really good promo work from both men here.

Match #7: Desmond Wolfe & Daniels vs. Kurt Angle & AJ Styles: The story here is the tension between AJ and Angle over AJ’s status as champion, and Angle’s desire for a title shot. Angle gestures disdainfully at AJ to get back and let him start against Daniels. Daniels and Angle go. I’m not calling this, it’ll be too good. Angle wants Wolfe. Wolfe refuses. AJ makes Angle tag him in so he can get at Daniels. Daniels promptly tags in Wolfe and bails to the floor. Great action between AJ and Wolfe! Angle tags in and they go. Daniels kicks Angle in the head from the ring apron. Wolfe targets Angle’s neck and shoulder. Daniels tags in and goes after Angle. Quick tags, and Wolfe is back in against Angle. Tremendous action from all four guys, and has to be seen to be appreciated. Wolfe hits AJ with the Tower of London, but AJ kicks out at the last second. Wolfe bails out of the ring, tagging Daniels as he does so. Daniels hits the Best Moonsault Ever on a groggy AJ for the win.

Winners: Daniels and Desmond Wolfe

DGT:  This was great! Daniels getting the pin on AJ was exactly what he needed. This is the quality of match that all the members of the TNA roster should be allowed to have.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Several things are working well. Kevin Nash’s reaction to Eric Young. Raven, Dr. Stevie, and Daffney going after Foley, and by default, Abyss. Both sets of Knockouts matches. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and The Pope beating Team 3D and Rhino at their own game until Jesse Neal interfered. The mega-push of The Pope, and the accompanying face turn. The MCMG getting the win over a member of the British Invasion. The Daniels/Desmond Wolfe alliance. Any match involving AJ, Daniels, and Wolfe. Several things are not working well. Having Scott Steiner destroy the X-Division champion in a non-title match. No mention of why Samoa Joe is not there, even if it isn’t a true one. Cramming too many people into the tag match for no real reason. Interviewing a returning out of nowhere Tomko. The “Traci Brooks birth defect” story line. I don’t know or care who is responsible for what on the creative team. The positives on this show are enough that all the Hulk Hogan videos and butt-kissing actually detract from the overall product.  

Join us tomorrow for a “Smackdown” review, and more BWF goodness!

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

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