You would have thought that the WWE would have promoted the fact that the Rock was appearing on Smackdown tonight. Nope. They kind of forgot to do that. Yet they spoil other outcomes on the same program on their website. Weird. I mean it’s Smackdown, it’s not like we’re getting a surprise return or anything either… right? Something about hopping time.
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If you haven’t heard by now, Ric Flair’s son, Reid, passed away today.  We have no further information at this time.  We here at Bored Wrestling Fan would line to extend our deepest condolences to Ric and his family.  Reid was 25.

Well since this week’s episode is gonna be all about Wrestlemaina 29 I’m gonna give  you all the results of Main Event here and now so we no one misses out on it.  So here’s what went on. (more…)

Okay, again this week, just a general run down of the show with some of my humble opinions.

First up, match results

CHRIS JERICHO DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER W/AJ LEE & BIG E. – This match-up was booked as a card-change, as Fandango made his way to the ring for what was supposed to be his fifth or sixth “debut” but got beat-down/ran-off by an angry Jericho.  Ziggler made his way out with his entourage as the announcers (Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler) told us this match was scheduled for later tonight.  Jericho gets the win by submission with the walls of Jericho, but gets beat down by Big E. Langston.  Fandango comes back out with his dance partner (the first girl to get a call-back) and picks the bones of Big E’s kill, landing a flying leg drop on Jericho’s neck.

MARK HENRY DEF. THE USOS – The Usos actually got in enough offense with their double-teaming to get a splash off the top rope for a two-count on Henry, but the match ends with Henry scoring a World’s Strongest Slam and getting the three-count.  After the match, Henry brutalizes both brothers, making it clear he did not appreciate getting splashed.

U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO (COUNT OUT) – Ricardo Rodriguez hobbles out on his crutches to introduce Del Rio.  The intro falls flat, although I think it was on purpose to help sell what bad shape he’s in.  The match is just a formality as both men go through the motions for about five minutes before Zeb Coulter comes out.  Ricardo tries to move away, but from out of nowhere Jack Swagger grabs him, and drags him by the bad ankle over to the guard rail.  Del Rio abandons his match to fight off Swagger and Cesaro gets the win by count-out.  Del Rio takes his anger out on Cesaro with the cross-arm breaker.

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS (TITUS O’NEAL/DARREN YOUNG)- “Pancake” Patterson is given one mention and then quietly swept under the rug.  Match is just a warm-up for the champions.  Ziggler and crew show up on the stage to distract the champs and give the PTP’s an opening, but the match ends with Kane choke-slamming Young for the three count.

THE MIZ DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL WADE BARRETT – Before the match, Triple H came out to do cut a promo about his Wrestlemania match with Brock Lesnar.  When Barrett comes out, he blocks Triple H’s way, and demands he step aside.  Trips responds with a kick to the crotch.  Miz comes out while Barrett is still recuperating.  During the match, Barrett’s crotch briefly becomes the focal point of the match.  Barrett crotches himself on the top rope with a missed kick and Miz gets the win with the figure-four submission.

THE SHIELD DEF. KHALI, RYDER, GABRIEL – To my knowledge, this is only the third actual match the Shield have officially wrestled in.  The Shield wins this with a flying knee-drop to Justin Gabriel, trapped in a “Bow and arrow” hold.  After the match, Khali takes a “Shield-Bomb.” Orton comes to the ring with Sheamus, and the Big Show comes up from behind, trapping the Shield.  We get a brief fight before the Shield retreat.

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS DEF BRODUS/TENSAI – Do you honestly care?  This match is barley more than a pretense for a cat-fight between the Funkadactyls and the Bella Twins.  Team Rhodes Scholars get the win by three-count during the confusion.

RYBACK DEF. 3MB – This was Ryback’s effort to show-up Henry that almost back-fired.  The Three Man Band actually take control of the match using their numbers advantage, but it ends with Ryback getting two men up for the “Shell-Shock” and a three-count.

AJ LEE DEF. WWE DIVAS CHAMPION KAITLYN – This match was set up during a backstage segment, where Bryan and Kane were arguing over which of them was still hung up on AJ.  Kaitlyn interjected, trying to get them both to let it go, while running off a list of nasty things to say about AJ, who just happened to be eavesdropping on them.  Now here’s the interesting thing.  AJ sends Kaitlyn head-first into a drinking fountain, or so it seemed.  Kaitlyn sold it as making contact but their was NO sound effect to indicate Kaitlyn hit the fountain.  Kaitlyn comes out to the ring holding her head, and when the bell rings, Kaitlyn goes to town on AJ, dominating the match and getting in all of the offence.  AJ rolls out of the ring, and Kaitlyn goes after her.  Kaitlyn tries a spear, but AJ side-steps her into the guard-rail, head first.  AJ gets a count-out victory, and maybe a title shot at Mania.  Kaitlyn gets a possible head-trauma gimmick.

So let’s look at the rest of the show.

C.M. Punk opens the show with a game of toss with the urn, and a promo that starts off by dumping on the Undertaker and his legacy.  He even goes so far as to imply the streak is only important to him as something to break.  He tries to mock the Takers classic pose, but the lights go out and when they come back, Taker is wailing on Punk.  Punk and Heyman run off with the urn.  Seemed a bit odd to me as the first half of Punk’s promo seemed to be Punk trying to convince us that this match wasn’t as important as we might feel it was.

Sheamus gets jumped by the Shield, during an interview about whether or not he and Orton can get along with Big Show, during their Mania six-man.  Orton comes after them with a chair, but he gets overwhelmed by numbers.  Big Show makes the save and runs off the Shield.

Now here, I gotta go into weird territory.  If you’re a long time wrestling fan, you’l probably have some idea of what I’m saying here.  Booking Show to come to the rescue seems a little heavy-handed to me.  It’s like WWE is trying too hard to sell us on Show’s face-turn, which is par for the course with pro wrestling in general.  Even if you’re among the youngest fans, you still can’t help but notice how it’s always Show that turns the tide when Orton/Sheamus gets jumped by the Shield.  So I have to ask myself, is this just the same sloppy TV writing wrestling has always suffered from?  Or is WWE trying to swerve me?  I’m thinking maybe they want me to watch for a double-cross by Big Show so that they can swerve me with one by Orton…or Sheamus.  I know Orton’s more likely, what with him reportedly wanting a heel-turn, but you know how wrestling-sorry “sports entertainment” likes illogical swerves.

Triple H cuts a promo on Brock Lesnar, about how if you don’t expect him to end your career, you’ve already lost.  He makes it clear that he is coming to kick Lesnar’s ass.

Very generic promo, giving no sense that Trips was seriously concerned that his career was over.  That might’ve been the plan, so that we’re actually surprised if he loses. (Which, if he does, we will be, just not for THAT reason.) And why did he have to bitch-out Wade Barrett on his way out?  (See above.)

The show ended with an elaborate Q&A with John Cena and WWE champion The Rock, featuring WWE Hall Of Fame members Booker T, Brett Hart, Dusty Rhodes and Mick Foley.  The panel lobs softball questions and both men give big, impassioned speeches about how/why they will win at Mania.  Cena compares himself to Donavon McNabb, the Rock tells the story of how he had to get his first mattress out of a dumpster behind a motel.  Cena blames his loss to Rock last year, on his letting Rock into his head.  Cena tried to finish off Rock in Rock’s home-town, with his own version of “the peoples elbow.” Allowing Rock to catch him in a rock-bottom and getting the three.  Rock borrows a quote from Ric Flair, “To be the man-woo-you must beat the man,” and between the two of them, Cena will never be “the man.”

I’m sorry to say this but I was underwhelmed.  No new ground covered here, except for maybe when Cena “revealed” why he lost last year.  I’m not a fan of “sports entertainment” trying to go into “deep, psychological,” story-lines, and I’m not moved by Cena’s need for redemption.

Overall, a pretty “meh” RAW.  It did what it was supposed to do, advance the angles going into Wrestlemania, but it still felt like an auto-pilot show.  That’s not always bad, but not the speed you want going into the biggest PPV of the year.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

This week, Joe, JT, and G are joined by Joe’s cousin Steve, as Jorge takes the day off to joyride in his friend’s Dad’s Ferrari and enjoy the sights of Chicago, with hilarious results.  Or he’s actually sick.  One of the two.  Anyways, Joe reads from the book of Bored, reciting passages from RYTMAN’s RAW review and G’s SmackDown shenanigans.  JT and G bust dope rhymes, and Steve shakes his head at all of this.  We learn that Scott Hall has reached his goal of $80,000 for his hip replacement surgery, which will take place April 9th.  We find out who the participants returning for TNA’s “10” and “Knockouts Knockdown” Pay Per View events are.  That Damn Double C tries to trick Joe into reading lyrics from “Africa” by Toto again.  We discuss the new rules of the X-Division.  We lament the price increase for WrestleMania to $69.99 for HD.  Chris Masters uproots a tree with his bare hands and saves his mother’s life.  All this, and much more, on BWF Radio 67!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio episode 67 (MP3, 2:05:05)

This week’s break song was “The New F*** You” by Street Sweeper Social Club.  Buy it here!

Oh hey, Smackdown is on again. Do YOU know what that means?

YES!

I see. Hopping time, then.

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This is episode 2 in the new era of WSU, which can be found here. I remember that nature did not smile on this show as it faced a horrible blizzard. We headed right into the action. It would have been nice to get a little bit of characterization to prepare ourselves for the night.

Jessie Brooks w/Sammy Geodollno vs. Nevaeh

The last WSU show found Jessie Brooks teaming up with Sammy Geodollno. I think they are a good pair on paper. I am intrigued how they will mesh as a team. And I’m not sure how this has never happened before, but this is my first chance to see Nevaeh wrestle. Sammy provides a lot of energy which counteracted with Brooks’ slow, methodical entrance. It reminds me a lot of Mark Henry in that an inevitable beating is about to arrive. (And there is no comparison between body types there so please do not kill me.) Brooks just looks mad and pissed-off, which I think is a great place for a leading heel to be. As the match started, the crowd was a little dead, and Nevaeh listened to the crowd and tried to get them moving. I’m not sure that these two have worked together very often. There were some awkward moments in the match. Nevaeh wrestled a heel style so I really wasn’t sure who I was supposed to go for. The ending came out of nowhere for me, so that’s pretty positive. I’m not really sure about the booking of the first match. The crowd was quite dead during this match, so that might have affected me enjoying this match as much as I could have.

Kimber Lee vs. Christina Von Eerie

Kimber Lee is the quintessential “girl next door” and Von Eerie is the antithesis of everything Kimber Lee is. This would be a very interesting feud should it ever happen. Kimber was wearing her Moolah tights. We started off with some exciting mat wrestling. We got to see a good showcase for Von Eerie. I think she really shined here. Von Eerie is one of the best athletes in women’s wrestling (with respects to Athena). I would have liked to see more offense from Kimber.

Niya vs. Veda Scott

I really like Niya, and Scott is one of my favorites to watch in the ring. One would have to call Scott one of the best all-around workers in wrestling. She is such a good heel. Niya had a lot of sassiness in her entrance. I liked it. We started out with an “at-the-bell” attack by Scott. We had Jana as ref, which was great to see. Niya really got the chance to fly around. Veda got the chance to bump and do her thing as only as she can. She plays the despicable heel role so well. This was easily the best of the first 3 matches. This match had a story and a reason to care.

Cherry Bomb vs. Kalamity

So we have my very favorite vs. one of the most unique wrestlers in the indy scene. Kalamity didn’t do a lot to get the crowd on her side. Cherry Bomb is a very over heel in CZW so she fit right in. If you like Grumpy Cherry, there were plenty of great facials. There was some good entertainment to start off the match including the greatest insult of all time-“You look like an Oompa Loompa.” Cherry Bomb kept the crowd hating her. Watching her during the opening minutes is a clinic on how to get the crowd to hate you. If you like a stiff SHIMMER-style match, this is your match. Cherry Bomb also kept the crowd engaged, never giving up on heckling them or yelling at them. This crowd was as dead as can be. However if there was any life up to this point, it awakened during the Cherry match. I found this to be a really good match, my favorite up to this point. (Pretend I’m not the biggest Cherry Bomb fan but) I would definitely recommend this DVD for this match.

Addy Starr vs. Chris Dickinson

I love Addy Starr, but why is there a guy here? I’ve never seen Dickinson so I will be happy to see him, but why is he wrestling in Women Superstars Uncensored? Dickinson took the mic and cut a really good heel promo. I love Addy’s energy. She brings so much to a crowd. This wasn’t my favorite intergender match, but Addy flopped around like a rag doll. She took a powerbomb that I wowed out loud for. The near-fall portion was really good.

Spoiler alert: I hated the finish. Why is this on Women Superstars Uncensored? It just seemed out of place. Dickinson won and got the pin. How does that help out THIS company? I just don’t see where it’s going yet.

Athena vs. Jessicka Havok

Would I be out of place to say my expectations for this are sky high? You have two of the top female wrestlers on the planet going at it here. This match got the time it needed. Up to this point, I didn’t feel the matches had gotten the time they needed to tell their stories, other than Cherry-Kalamity. There isn’t a lot to say. It was nearly twenty minutes of two of the top talents in wrestling doing their thing. This match alone would have been worth the price of purchasing it.

LuFisto vs. Mercedes Martinez

This first meeting between these two was my choice for 2012 Match of the Year. So you can imagine my expectations for this are pretty high too. Plus, this was Falls Count Anywhere. If I’m correct, this was in a hockey arena. This match took place in an ice skating rink. This was a match where you bumped on ice. I played broomball once in high school. I fell smack dab on the back of my head and haven’t been on the ice since. These women fought on the ice on purpose. There were some snap suplexes that made me hurt watching them. What an epic follow-up. I dare say this match topped the first. This match alone is worth the price of the DVD.

All in all… I know that circumstances were way against WSU when trying to put forth this show, and no one would have blamed them for cancelling. But they put forth a really good show. Not every match was epic, but I’m not sure they were given the time they needed. I would like to have seen more character development. Just give me a minute for Havok to tell me why she chose Athena, postmatch of Mercedes explaining her actions, why the Dickinson-Starr feud.

I liked Cindy Rogers on the mic. WSU needs a consistent color commentator so I’d like to hear more of her there. You had three really strong matches (And the Starr-Dickinson match was good; I just hated the story.), one of which bordered epic and another was the poster child of epic. I would definitely recommend this DVD.

Well, for me.

My mother has been getting light Kimo for cancer since the middle of January.

Today, she was told she is in remission.

CAN NOT say how happy I am.

Thank you to BWF for supplying fun and good times during this period.

You good folks have really helped with the joking and bitching about wrestling.

Thank you all and God Bless.

Just a basic recap this week peep-holes; as the week’s off to a rough start, (family stuff.)

Let’s start with Match results;

JOHN CENA DEF DARRIEN YOUNG (w/”Pancake” Patterson.  I will get to that in a minute.)

RYBACK DEF DAVID OTUNGA (Like any other outcome was possible.)

FANDANGO vs GREAT KHALI: NO CONTEST (Not that it would’ve been one anyway.)

R-TRUTH DEF DAMIAN SANDOW BY COUNT OUT

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO DEF PRIMO/EPICO w/Rosa Mendes

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO w/Roberto Rodriguez DEF CODY RHODES

RANDY ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF 3MB (Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre)

DOLPH ZIGGLER w/AJ and Big E. DEF KOFI KINGSTON

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL WADE BARRETT DEF CHRIS JERICHO AND THE MIZ (3 way for the title)

Okay, so let’s talk about the show…

“Pancake” Patterson

“Pancake” fucking Patterson

“PANCAKE” FUCKING PATTERSON

PANCAKE FUCKING PATTERSON!

Seriously

(Sigh) I’m praying this is something Titus actually wanted to do, because if this was any white guy’s idea, and Titus HAS to do it, then we need to shut down WWE, I’m sorry.  HOW IN 2013 ARE WE SUPPOSED TO JUSTIFY A BAD FRED SANFORD GIMMICK?  The sad thing is, this bit is stupid enough to actually go over, God help us all.

RAW Managing Supervisor Vicki Guerrero and SMACKDOWN Senior Advisor Teddy Long pulled Ryback out of the six-man with Orton/Sheamus against the Shield and booked against Mark Henry.  Later in the night, The Shield jumped Orton/Sheamus, and Big Show made the run-in to cement the “face” turn. (Hey, it’s more effort than they put into Miz’s face turn.)  So, Big Show is in the six-man, and Ryback gets Henry.  My question is why not just book Big Show in the six-man in the first place?  For the record, Ryback would’ve been the better choice, as he still has “unfinished business” with the Shield, but since when does WWE care about continuity?  I’m thinking this could still turn into an eight-man, Henry and the Shield vs Ryback, Show, Sheamus and Orton.

I gotta admit, Fandango scored some points with me tonight.  I dig him with a different Ballroom Dancing girl leading him in every week, I was into the streamers, and the outline of his silhouette from the ceiling.  I dig him hitting on every Diva that comes to the ring with his opponents.  Kind of stupid, seeing how much I hated “Pancake” Patterson, but with Fandango, there is a small difference.  Fandango is still a “mystery.” I actually don’t know if he sucks in the ring yet.  There’s still a chance this could pay off.  With “Pancake,” I know it’s just a desperate attempt at getting a mid-card guy some heat.

R-Truth getting a count-out over Sandow felt like filler to me.  I could live with their “feud” ending here.  Neither man has enough momentum to justify a spot on Mania.

Cody had a bit with the Bella Twins and Kaitlyn that I’m hoping brings this “flirtation” angle to an end.  It’s going nowhere, and the only logical outcome is a face turn for Cody that he does not need right now.

Side Note: WHY DOES FACIAL HAIR COUNT AS A GIMMICK?

And now the highlight of the night, in the best heel promo in history, C.M. PUNK MOCKS THE UNDERTAKER WITH THE URN OF PAUL BEARER.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkGdq4NOBE8

I have nothing to add, genius.

So apparently, Ziggler is getting a shot at the tag titles w/Big E. as his partner.  WWE set this up with AJ skipping out to the ring during Hell No’s match against Mo/Co, Kane and Bryan responded by coming out to challenge Ziggler and Big E. after Dolph’s win over Kofi. AJ demanded they put the tag titles on the line.  I feel obligated to point out that Ziggy/Big E. haven’t wrestled as a tag-team in the entire time they’ve been on RAW, and Big E. has yet to wrestle an official match on any show besides NXT, however; one thing I’ve learned in all my years of watching RAW, the meaning of the word futility.

Side Note: Daniel DID get a win over Ziggler on Saturday Morning Slam, so you could argue they’re working a “program,” but you’d be stretching it. (You’d also be someone who cares more than any one else.)

ADR vs Swagger just got personal as Swagger took out Ricardo’s ankle with the “Patriot Act” after Del Rio’s win over Cody.  We got a “USA” chant during the match, which might not have been for ADR.  I hate to say it, but I did see this coming.  I’m guessing  a LOT of WWE fans are “Tea-baggers,” and are slowly inching on to Swagger’s bandwagon.  Also, Del Rio isn’t working as a baby-face.  I’m sorry, but his “champion of the immigrants” routine doesn’t ring true enough.  Del Rio really lost a step becoming a face.  He’s watered down his personality too much and his “come back from nowhere” approach in the ring is sloppy and awkward.  Honestly, I think Del Rio might have to drop the belt and disappear for a while if they want to salvage him.

The last actual match of the night was Wade Barrett getting a badly-needed win over Miz and Jericho.  Most people, including me, felt this was a bit anti-climatic as it would’ve made a good addition to the Mania card.  I’m thinking if they wanted to, they can revisit that whole “Intercontinental Open,” idea they scrapped so Barrett could feud with Bo Dallas. (Remember that?  Neither do they.)

The night ended with the big contract signing between Triple H and Paul Heyman, representing Brock Lesnar.  It ended with Trips clearing the ring and brutalizing Heyman before signing the contract.  Lesnar came out and pulled Heyman out.  Heyman revealed his big surprise stipulations – “No Holds Bared,” and Triple H’s career on the line.

This is where I allow myself to get optimistic (possibly masochistic,) and hope this is secretly Triple H’s retirement match, then I remember his match against the Undertaker a few Wrestlemania cards ago was supposed to be a retirement match.

And we are out…

RYTMAN’S REMARKS: Not bad, not bad at all.  This show was a good build-up to Wrestlemania. Still, if you watched it you can see how little fore-thought went into developing an under-card for the show.  Stuff is being thrown together and juggled around in a very last-minute manner.  We’d better hope the three “big” matches can carry the show, because it doesn’t look like they’ll have a ton of support.

You’re as cold as ice. You’re willing to sacrifice our love…

In what they’re calling the “Super Mario” edition of the show, Joe, JT, Jorge, and G discuss the week in pro wrestling.  We talk wrestling television of course, celebrate Bully Ray’s title victory at LockDown, appreciate Punk’s heeldom, and debate on whether the Highlight Reel was the worst segment in WWE history or not.  We catch That Damn Double C being WRONG about this week’s WWE trivia, and have to research the actual answer online.  We also catch him trying to sneak in the lyrics to Toto’s “Africa.”  That sneaky Aussie bastard.  In the news, we talk about health insurance for wrestlers as Daffney’s lawsuit with TNA has come to an end. We get updates on Jake Roberts from DDP’s Accountability Crib.  We find out which Divas has been contacted for a WWE return, and find out that TNA has been rejected by every single former knockout they reached out to for one of their one night only PPVs.  All this, and much, much more on BWF Radio 66!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 66 (MP3, 2:06:54)

This week’s break song was “Put Up Your Dukes” by Race.  Buy the album here!