Home ▸ Impact ▸ PNTNR review TNA iMPACT 2/2/12 – Live (Taped) From Wembley Arena. Yeah, it’s Hogan?!

We start Impact Wrestling with Champion Bobby Roode and Bully getting heat from the crowd. After taunting Storm (calling him “The Cowgirl James Storm”)calls him out. Storm comes out to raucus applause. The Bully jumps in front of Roode as a protector should as all three men face off. Leading to Steve Borden coming out to announce that Against All Odds will be a four way for the TNA World Title. Making sure to assure fans that Jeff Hardy is well and will be ready to compete. But Storm still wants the two disciples of the Selfish Generation tonight!  Sting faced with this crazy redneck scratches the two on one match originally scheduled and turns it into two separate matches having the cowboy work double duty. Before shouting his now trademark “ta ta for now!” Which the British crowd eats up with mimickry.

We get a shot of Garett Bischoff walking into the arena on his cell phone. Which makes me wonder how he’s getting reception. I mean its London, England for christ sake.

Samoa Joe and Britain’s own Magnus approach the ring as the crowd goes wild. Tonight is a Buckingham Brawl, which is essentially a coin toss is done and the winner gets to go by Tornado Tag rules while the opposition has to use traditional tag methods. In which case similar to the Papa Johns commericial with Manning ends with Morgan and Crimson losing the toss. Which the crowd is happy about. This match is a classic example of the MCMG  vs Lethal Consequences feud from a few years back with LC being faces but being booed because the crowd liked the Machine Guns better. Same rules apply here. Joe and Magnus are way over while Morgan and Crimson are booed no matter what they do. After a beat down on the faces, Morgan eats a enziguri into a Elbow drop for the three count. The crowd is estatic.

Suceeding that match is Eric Bischoff coming out to call out his son, Garett. The crowd is not amused. Not even when Garett arrives to the ring does the crowd ease up. And the torpedo just continues. Eric does his song and dance about Garett being a dreamer and that he will never accomplish half of what he has and how he should just give it up. Which the crowd responds with “Boring” chants. This is followed with Garett on his imaginery phone

WRONG CONTINENT

with his trainer who by now should be acknowledged as Hogan. Because this hasn’t been done before sans mystery. Crowd almost down right riots with the boring/booing shaking the arena. And I was watching from the USA and could feel it. Finally this painfully watched segment ends. In the ending segment leading to break Tenay announces Hogan’s return. Before he is revealed as the mysterious trainer.

Momentarily we will have one of the sickest looking botches of night courtesy of Mark Haskins. A Double vs London’s Hometown Hero Mark Haskins, who I might add hasn’t been seen since August. I defer to this point because Tenay makes light of this but wants us to care. Because he is Britain’s own like Magnus but unlike Magnus who has been getting a push, Haskins walks in to almost half hearted support from his kinsmen. This contrasts Aries who is cheered and chanted. But we do get a good match. Albeit one that ends with the sickest landings I’ve seen on network tele. Haskins goes for a Shooting Star Press as he hits the mat Aries moves, Haskins smacks head first on the mat allowing Aries to brainbuster then pull out a classic Horns of Aries submission for the win. But back to the sickening thud his head made when landing the SSP, Haskins is legit hurt suffering a concussion on his third televised appearance with TNA but wow that was sick. Watch it online if you can.

Where Art Thou?

Bobby Roode is up next in his non-title match up with James Storm. Which I won’t lie I was disturbed  by this but realized that with the title not on the line we won’t have cowardly heel Bobby but Heel Roode. Which is exactly what we received. This was a good match that didn’t really spoil anything that would be upcoming on PPV seeing as how the ending allowed Ray to interfere distracting Storm leading to a spear and a pin by Roode giving him a win but making Storm still appear viable with having been screwed again for a win. Good match with each man choreographing each other due to thier long history. Afterwards Roode has Ray bullybottom Storm on the world title. Sting comes out to clear the ring but the damage has been done.

Now its Cougar Town’s own Tara

Yep still having trouble finding a suitable picture. But this will do.

taking on (again) in a non-title match up Gail Kim w/ groupie err Tag partner Madison Rayne. Tara who came out pumped to see the London crowd attempted to slap everyone’s hand on the way to the ring. Hyping herself up for the match. We get a decent serving of whats to come during AAO, with Tara and Gail feeling each other out. The crowd in a similar response in the IMpact Zone feel silent for most of the match prompting Tara to unleash the “come on” screech to a momentary crowd noise. The crowd finally picked up when Tara after having been beat down by Ms. Kim finally made a come back (even pimp handing Rayne who was on the apron) leading to Madison reappearing to attack Tara from behind only for Tara to have sixth sense and ninja sidestep allowing Rayne to pop Gail. Rayne is tossed out and Tara wins with the Widow’s Peak. Allegiance aside wouldn’t any interference lead to disqualifiction on either side?

Garett returns. He is ready to announce his trainer, but before he does Big Bischoff returns to piss on Lil Bischoff’s parade. Bringing along that anger management future attendee Gunner along for the ride. EB spouts one of the best one liners I’ve heard from this program for quite sometime. Attempting his usual threats and promises is interrupted by none other than Hulk Hogan. The United Kingdom explodes. Hogan and G. Bischoff take turns Hulk punching Gunner. With that out of the way we see Eric cowering in a corner. But of course he is thankfully pulled out before HH and GB can get to him.

Now after that segment we have a backstage or back street more likely chat with Lil Bischoff and Hulk Hogan. Hogan hypes up the UK, talks about how TNA is on the cusp of greatness a smidgeon away from being a thousand times bigger than it is now. What started as a Hogan/Bischoff shoot on Eric became muddled in a rallying cry for iMPACT Wrestling. Having Hogan in his own words leading the ship as the mantle piece on front seeing through the fog of doubt. And for those not smelling the greatness he’ll gladly grab them direct them toward it?!

We saw what happened to the last boat Hogan helped steer.

Yeah my thoughts exactly.

The Main Event: James Storm, now with taped ribs taking on Bully Ray the man with the massive calves. The crowd is loving the chant “Where is Devon?” Ray takes control early on and is shouting “I’m going to break your ribs” to Storm. Soon after the start of the match Bobby Roode comes down. This of course is followed by Borden bring his trademark…Cricket bat. Oh yeah, baseball doesn’t exist in England. Soon Storm makes a comeback and as happenstance should have it a ref bump/both wrestles laid out in the middle of the ring occurs. Roode slids in followed by Steve. This causes the champ to run like the wind with Sting in pursuit. Ray goes to reach out to Roode only to turn around and face the last call. Storm wins as a distraught champion looks on in anger.

Next week will be a Star Wars Themed Impact again taking place in Wembley Arena. Because TNA and Star Wars share a common interest? OH wait most of the original film crew for Star Wars: A New Hope were Brits. But when it airs Star Wars: The Phantom Menace is coming to theatres in 3D which was filmed by….Jamacian stereotypes disguised as floppy haired creatures? OH NO WAIT…Is it because TNA hopes to capitalize off the launch of Star Wars to make money for itself. Good Good very WWE of you guys.

Meesa so proud. TNA TNA TNA

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