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Alright, ladies and gentlemen.  I’m exhausted, and I feel like crap for some reason.  So, I’m going to do the RAW review, include the tweets, but I’m just going to give the basics on the matches, or my opinions.  I may do full coverage of the main event, but it depends on how I feel when it gets there, alright?!

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Two weeks ago, Team Nexus meets Cena Army, then last week’s Seven-on-Seven Elimination Match, and the cracks in Team Cena/Jericho.>

You think you know me…

Edge comes out.  Says stuff.  Commercial.

Nah, just kidding.

Edge says he tried, he really did, but last week made him realize he needs to go with his gut, and listen to only himself.  Case and point, after the Royal Rumble, he listened to the WWE Universe, and they let him down.  Just like the SummerSlam team is letting him down.  He doesn’t respect Cena, he doesn’t trust Jericho, he doesn’t have any faith in Khali, he barely knows Truth and Morrison… That’s why he needs to do things his way.  He agrees that Nexus needs to get taken down, but he has a proposal: he does things his way.  Tonight, he challenges Wade Barrett, one on one.  He doesn’t want anyone to interfere.

What’s up?!

Truth makes his way down, not rapping his own theme for once, and Truth says he was gonna ask him the same question: Does Edge actually thing challenging Wade to a match is going to fix anything?  It’s bigger than Barrett.  Edge gets that, and that’s why he doesn’t want to listen to Cena.  Truth says fine, don’t listen to Cena, but he’ll listen to Truth.  Edge has been in tons of matches.  But how many times has he ever had to fight for everything, everything? Truth, Edge, they’re fighting for their lifestyles, their friends, family, for the WWE Universe.  It’s us, we, we gotta do this together and fight this together, or Nexus wins.  Simple as that.  Edge needs to stop thinking of himself and pull his head out of his ass, and that’s the truth.

Edge says it’s clever, but that’s Truth’s version of the truth.  You kill a snake by chopping its head off.  Edge takes out Barrett and Nexus crumbles.  Is Truth going to get out of the ring, or is Edge going to have to Spear him out?

“If this is what Edge wants, then I will honor his request.  Truth, please exit the ring, because he will face Wade Barrett of Nexus, and that match is next.”

Truth says good luck, because Edge is on his own.

<COMMERCIAL>

@IAmJHPunk “YOU GONE SPEAR ME?!” – R-Truth #wwe #raw #bwf

@SadieandCompany And I Quote makes me want to poke my own eardrums with something! #WWE #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar “Izz us! Izz WE!. If NOT. NEXUS WIN.” – Perfect grammar from R-Truth

Edge vs Wade Barrett

I’m seriously addicted to the Nexus theme song… I really am.  Anyway, decent match, with Edge getting the advantage early on, and Wade stealing it back at every chance.  However, Nexus comes out and Edge takes off into the crowd.

No winner.

Still to come, Mr. Money in the Bank will face the Number One Contender to the WWE Championship tonight in a one-on-one match!

<COMMERCIAL>

@dasharpshooters Maybe Edge should run track for Canada. Boy was moving. #wwe #raw #bwf

@Niki_Sushi Wait, what? Edge was in the ring #SheamusRevisited #RAW #BWF

@JonelleDanger #WWE #RAW #BWF skip sheffield reminds me of a bulldog…an overbuff bulldog.

Backstage, Edge is looking for Cena, and finds him standing there.  Edge asks where he was, and Cena shrugs.  Cena says that no one wanted to listen to him, so he listened to Edge.  No one’s supposed to go down there, so he didn’t.  The only way they have a chance against Nexus is seven-on-seven.  Edge says good luck, because they’re going to be doing it without Edge.  He quits.  Jericho is standing next to Cena, smirking.  Cena asks if he quits too.  Jericho says that Cena doesn’t get it.  If anyone needs to quit, it’s Cena.  He’s just as much a problem as Nexus.  If they have any chance of beating Nexus, it’d be if Cena quit.  If Cena doesn’t wanna do it on his own, Jericho will make him do it.  Jericho says they should go out tonight and have a match: Loser leaves SummerSlam team for good.  Cena says that Nexus is laughing at them and they’re doing the opposite of what they should be doing.  Jericho asks yes or no, and Cena says fine, if that’s what he wants.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: SummerSlam 1991 in Madison Square Garden; Bret “The Hitman” Hart vs Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Championship.>

Morrison and Khali are backstage.  Morrison says he doesn’t care about last week, but, like in The Magnificent Seven, if the seven don’t stand together, they don’t have a chance.  The Great Khali says they were also the seven dwarves.  Morrison wishes him luck against DiBiase.

Tarver and Otunga walk up and say they didn’t attack him last week, because they don’t attack people the respect.  Otunga says that if he loses to DiBiase tonight, then Cena may replace him, and if he wants to go somewhere he’s respected, then their door is always open.

<COMMERCIAL>

@TKeep123 Ok, got a few chills watching Summerslam rewind: Bret Hart v. Mr. Perfect! Those were the days! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes @TheRealMorrison: There’s also the 7 evil exes that Scott Pilgrim must face. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi The Great Khali would eat Wade and shit him out to become the new leader of Nexus. Wade better watch out before he’s fish n chips. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog #TheGreatKhaliSays he sees through Nexus’ clever ruse… he’ll only join Nexus if they kick out Heath Slater

Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Natalya vs Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox, Jillian Hall, and Tamina

Good to see that Natalya finally gets to wrestle, even if it is in this stupid ass match that she’s probably not going to get much action in, but still.  Oh, yeah, and I’m amused by how uninterested Tamina looks in her team mates.  The Divas all went a little crazy outside the ring, though Natalya preformed very well.  Anyway, Alicia attacks from behind for the victory.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox, Tamina, and Jillian Hall win via pinfall.

Alicia has the mic afterward and says that they’re all witnesses to the greatest reign in Diva’s Champion history.  No matter what match, Alicia has beaten all of them.  There isn’t a Diva on the whole roster that is comparable to her, because she’s-

And Melina’s theme hits and out she comes!!!  Alicia looks like she’s trying to run, but the very Divas she just insulted are blocking her, and Jillian throws her back in the ring.  Melina ducks a clothesline with a very Matrix-like move then drops Alicia in the Last Call, screaming ‘I’m back!’

Still to come: John Cena vs Chris Jericho, and the loser will leave the SummerSlam team!

Sheamus is making his way to the ring!!

<COMMERCIAL>

@bethsharae Alicia beat Nattie? Well that was crap. #Raw

@Niki_Sushi Melina can keep doing her splits all around the ring, and we’ll only here the sound of Alicia’s ego splitting in half. #BWF #RAW

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: Randy Orton defeats Jey Uso, then Jimmy Uso, then Sheamus>

It’s a shame that they lost their head…

WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Goldust

Okay, quick random note: I love Goldust’s tweets.  He makes me laugh so damn hard.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus vs. Goldust on ECW last year>

Sheamus wins with his High Cross.  Kind of bland match, to be honest, but I do love Gold…

WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Sheamus cuts a promo afterward saying that he’s a two-time WWE Champion who got here all by himself, by hard work, and didn’t have to be a third-generation Superstar like Randy Orton, or win a briefcase like The Miz.  Sheamus brings up how he ended Triple H’s career (COUGHdoubtfulCOUGH), and he’s going to do the same to Orton at SummerSlam.  These people never give him the credit or respect he deserves, but he doesn’t want or need it.  All he needs is the WWE Championship.

<COMMERCIAL>

@dasharpshooters GOLDUST VS SHEAMUS THE FEUD CONTINUES! #wwe #raw #bwf

@dasharpshooters Aw it’s never good when Goldust gets buried, but it had to happen. #wwe #raw #bwf

@TheMizMagnet Never before has the man with the WWE Championship jobbed SO MUCH! #BWF

John Cena vs Chris Jericho: Loser leaves the SummerSlam Team

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR AND SHAGGY TOO!!!!!

Kay, couldn’t resist fucking up Cena’s theme again.  Personally, a prediction to the match, I think that Nexus will interfere and they’ll both be there. My personal feelings.  Anyway, about the match.

Good match between Jericho and Cena, with Jericho getting a good advantage over the Cena for most of the match.  Cena starts up when he gets his advantage, going for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, only for Jericho to hit the Codebreaker, but Cena rolled out of the ring.  Jericho tried to get him back in, and did, went for a cover, but it took too much time and Cena powered out at two.

<COMMERCIAL>

OMG JERICHO DID THE HOGAN THING AGAIN!  I’m okay.  After the commercial break, the momentum changed a few times before Jericho steals it, calling Cena a stupid man a few times.  Cena seemed to tweak his knee on a move off the top rope, but Cena locks the STF and Jericho taps.

John Cena wins via submission.

Jericho tapped before the STF was locked in, and Cena looks pretty damn confused.  Jericho shoves the steps, and Cena has a mic.

Cena asks Chris for just a minute, and Jericho stops.  Cena says that the people saw one helluva match against two of the best in the WWE, and says he doesn’t want Jericho to leave.  He wants him to stay, because Jericho is the best in the world at what he does.  Cena’s not gonna beg though, and says the choice is Jericho’s.  Either come back in the ring and they agree to coexist, and they handle Nexus, or Jericho walks out, and he lets everybody down, including himself.  Jericho stops, looking around for a minute, but starts toward the ring, stops, shakes his head, and walks back toward the back.  He stops at the top of the ramp, then keeps walking toward the back.

Still to come: Randy Orton vs United States Champion The Miz!

<COMMERCIAL>

@TheNexusWWE Ha ha ha … 7-on-5 at SummerSlam … too bad for you @JohnCena! #WWE #SSlam

@IAmJHPunk @IAmJericho (to @JohnCena): “Stay down! You’re a stupid, stupid man! You’re a stupid man!” #wwe #raw #bwf

Edge is backstage, when Jericho comes up to him.  Edge says that he doesn’t blame Jericho for what he did.  Cena needs them, not the other way around.  Edge respects Jericho for what he did.  Jericho says he doesn’t need that, and he respects that Edge quit.  Cena needs them more than they need him.  They were doing just fine before they got involved with Nexus.  Edge says they’ve been through a lot together, but together, they could own this place.  Maybe the two of them should let bygones be bygones.  The two shake hands, give a man-hug, and then…

“After what has transpired tonight, next week Edge and Chris Jericho will team together against their former SummerSlam teammates, John Cena and Bret “The Hitman” Hart.  Additionally, all seven members of Nexus will stand at ringside as lumberjacks.”

Josh Matthews is joined by Randy Orton backstage.  Josh says that Sheamus was going to do the same thing that he did to Triple H at Wrestlemania.  Randy says that he once gave Triple H a six-week vacation due to a kick to the skull.  He invites Sheamus to sit ringside for his match against The Miz.  The good news for Sheamus is that after the match, Miz will be in no shape to cash in his Money in the Bank contract.  The bad news is that in two weeks, it’s Sheamus’ turn.

Up next, the world premiere of Legendary.

<COMMERCIAL>

<VIDEO PACKAGE: World premiere of the Legendary trailer.>

The Great Khali vs. Ted DiBiase

As usual Maryse accompanies Ted to the ring, but he makes her stay out of it.  Can’t say I blame him.  Anyway, Maryse provided enough of a distraction for Ted to grab the advantage, but Barrett and Sheffield come down to the ring.  DiBiase gets distracted, and Khali just squeezes DiBiase’s head.

Khali wins via head squishing?

The United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank makes his way to the ring!

<COMMERCIAL>

@IAmJHPunk Someone take out Khali!!! #wwe #raw #bwf

@IAmJHPunk @TheNexusWWE are wayyyyyyy too good for Khali!!!! #FireKhali #wwe #raw #bwf

@JCenadotcom So… wait… Khali’s winning matches again?

<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Bellas hang with the cast of The Other Guys.>

Will Ferrell won some total cool points from me though as he called The Bellas average looking.  I officially love him… more than before.

AWESOME!!

The United States Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton

<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Miz attempts to cash in Money in the Bank on Sheamus, only to get RKO’d.>

Before Randy comes out, Miz talks. He says that last week, Randy made a mistake.  It wasn’t just a lapse in judgment, it was a life-altering moment in the career of Randy Orton.  Because now, he doesn’t have a shred of positivity in his future.  Tonight, he’ll pay for what he did.  At SummerSlam, his best case scenario is that he beats Sheamus for the WWE Championship.  But then what?  What happens next?  Miz’ moment.  Do the voices in Randy’s head hear him?  Miz’ moment!  Randy only delayed the inevitable.  Get it straight: Miz will be WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s awesome!

Orton and Miz lock up, and Orton pushes Miz back into the turnbuckle, but neither let go.  Miz turns it around and pushes Orton into the turnbuckle, getting a punch in on Orton’s head before beating on Orton for a few minutes.  Miz Irish Whips Orton into the opposite turnbuckle, but Orton clotheslines Miz.  Orton then stomps on Miz’ chest, and again.  Orton then stomps on Miz’ face, and then goes for the knee-drop, but Miz rolls out of the way.  Miz gets up and knees Orton in the face.  Miz goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out at two.  Miz gets Orton in the corner, and starts stomping.  Miz keeps Orton in the corner for a few minutes before Orton plants a boot in Miz’ face.  Orton has Miz’ head under the bottom rope, and then slams his face into it.  Orton then tries the knee drop again, hits it, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two.  Orton whips Miz across the ring and Miz holds on to the top rope.  Orton clotheslines him out, and then Sheamus comes out to stand at the top of the ramp.

<COMMERCIAL>

@ThingsColeSays Will Ferrall buries the Bellas. Good man.

@LadySwagger6 Bellas did way more than “hang out” with Wahlberg & Ferrell

@theerj Hey look it’s da Bella Whores!!! Can’t have an ass kissing Guest host segement without those 2

@dasharpshooters Will Farrell treats his tricks like tricks. #wwe #raw #BOSS #bwf

We come back to Orton owning Miz with Sheamus watching still.  Orton has Miz in a headlock, but Miz powers out.  Miz then gets revenge with his own boot to the face.  Miz stops to catch his breath before stomping on Orton’s stomach and dropping elbows and forearms on Orton’s chest.  Miz then drops another boot to Orton’s face, but Orton kicks out.  Miz then gets Orton in a headlock and rakes at his face before the ref gets him away.  Orton gets to his feet and powers out of the headlock, getting some this in on Miz before Orton drops Miz in a backbreaker.  Orton’s knee is still bothering him, apparently.  Orton walks over to Miz, but Miz plants him in the turnbuckle.  Orton starts to get up, and Miz backs away, preparing to run across the ring.  He hits Orton with his swinging corner clothesline, before going for a cover.  Orton kicks out at two.  Miz then hits Orton in the head and face a few times before the ref gets him off of Orton.  Randy then uppercuts Miz out of nowhere.  Miz retaliates with a hit to the face that drops Orton.  Miz gets Orton by the ears, but Orton starts fighting back with some powerful hits before hitting Miz with some shoulder blocks, followed by a scoop slam.  Miz is on the edge of the ring apron, and he pulls Miz in through the top and middle rope.  Orton goes to hit his DDT, but Miz flips him over the top rope and onto the floor.

Miz rolls out of the ring and throws Orton into the ring.  Miz blocks a clothesline and drops him in a backbreaker onto his knee and then down.  Miz goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two.  Sheamus looks unimpressed, and Miz looks stunned that Orton kicked out.  Miz goes to clothesline Orton, but Orton comes back with an RKO.  He pins Miz and wins.

Randy Orton wins via pinfall.

Sheamus ran down to the ring to attack Randy, but Randy dropped and started pounding the mat, and Sheamus stopped dead in his tracks.  The two stare and Randy smirk-snarls at Sheamus.

Overall, not a bad RAW.  Seeya next week.

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