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I didn’t post this last night because I really wasn’t that excited about RAW.  Anyway, I won’t be posting on next week until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday.  I’m not going to be watching RAW.  I’m joining my mother and grandmother to go see a show.  I’m excited.  Anyway, here’s the review!

The Main Event is Cena & Bret Hart vs Jericho & Edge with Nexus as Lumerjacks!

Bret Hart comes out in a Batman shirt and says that he’s upset that Jericho and Edge left and talks about Team WWE.  He asks Jericho and Edge to join him in the ring, and says that if Nexus wins at SummerSlam, then everyone loses.  Jericho makes his way to the ring, and Bret asks him to rejoin Team WWE, because this is Jericho’s time to make things right.  Jericho still refuses, and tells Bret that Bret’s worried about losing tonight, and is frightened. Once again, Bret is screwed.  Chris doesn’t want to team with either Cena or Bret, he just wants to dismantle Bret.

You think you know me…

Edge comes out and asks Jericho what’s wrong with him, they grew up idolizing him.  Edge says he’s in, goes to attack Hart, Hart goes for Sharpshooter, Jericho pokes him in the eye.  Jericho and Edge make their way out of the ring, and Natalya joins Bret in the ring.  Nexus is backstage beating up Tyson and David Hart Smith.  Wade says it’s not Bret’s day.  Bret and Nat leave the rign and run backstage.

<COMMERCIAL>

@KeepItFiveStar “That’s what you get for not being a Hart, Tyson!” – Nexus

@Niki_Sushi I want Bret to say ‘nut up or shut up’ so Chris can shove the mic in his mouth. #BWF

Medics are backstage with Hart Dynasty, Bret says he’s going to take things under his own hands. Cena stops him and tells him to stay with his family.

AWESOME!!!

United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank The Miz vs Evan Bourne
Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale, but Evan had some great offense going, and a pretty sweet looking hurricanrana.
United States Champion The Miz wins via pinfall!

Miz gets mic and says he doesn’t care who has the WWE Championship after SummerSlam, when he’s ready to cash in, he will be the WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s AWESOME.  Backstage, Cena is talking to Khali backstage.

<COMMERCIAL>

@kickoutblog Yeah, The Miz just murdered Evan Bourne.

@JCenadotcom Cole talking about The Miz requires me to mute the channel…

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Melina’s return.>

Melina vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Not a horrible match, but I wasn’t all that impressed.
Melina wins via pinfall.

Khali is backstage with Josh and says that Ranjin Singh’s not here.  Josh asks is Khali with WWE or Nexus?  Khali says WWE, then jacks the mic and grumbles and mumbles a lot.  He then challenges Wade Barrett to a match, said Josh… thankfully

<COMMERCIAL>

@RAWMysteryGM I know what Khali said and he will be punished accordingly for that outburst #WWE #bwf

@ KeepItFiveStar So The Great Khali vs. Glade Berry…?

@dasharpshooters Dammit Khali you have been in this company for like 4 years and you cant speak english? #wwe #raw #BWF

As a result of Melina’s victory, Alicia will defend against Melina at SummerSlam.

Later tonight, Eve & Gail v Bellas v Maryse and Jillain in some bathing suit match thing, and Sheamus has called out Orton.

Chris Jericho and Edge are backstage complaining about Bret.  They say if Nexus loses, it’s because they’re not on Team WWE, and they may have bitten off more than they can chew.   Edge says they’ll survive whatever Nexus does, and Jericho says they’re architects and they make things happen.  If they take out Cena and Hart, there’s no SummerSlam match, and they’re in the clear.

JoMo and R-Truth talking backstage.  They say they got each other’s backs, but they need to find a replacement.

Mark Henry comes up and hears them say they need replacements, they just need him instead of two replacements, and to consider this match his audition.  Nexus is watching on a big TV, and Wade nods to them. Everyone but Barrett leaves Nexus locker room.

<COMMERCIAL>

@YourBoyDrew Tweets are being swallowed, it’s like the Bella Twins, are operating twitter for me

@iwcmvp WWEShop.com has an interesting new item. For $35 Michael Tarver will come to your house and make you crap your pants in fear #WWE #RAW #BWF

Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Mark Henry
Henry’s attacked by Nexus before anything can happen.

Sheamus makes his way to the ring.

<COMMERCIAL>

@KeepItFiveStar Every week, we should place bets to see how long Mark Henry lasts before he gets his ass beat

@dasharpshooters Wait a minute there was a guy walking next to Maryse? I didnt notice. #wwe #Raw #bwf

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Randy Orton def. United States Champion The Miz>

It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

Sheamus to the ring. Mark Henry’s still trying to make it up the ramp, that fatass.  Anyway, Sheamus says Randy is talking out his arse, and shows a video package of how he’s not afraid of Randy Orton.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus’ destruction>

Who thinks he’s afraid of Orton? Everyone.  Sheamus says he’s afraid of no one (except Nexus… <.<; ) and that he wants to call out Orton.  Randy comes out and interrupts him. Orton has something to say first – Sheamus didn’t get in the ring because he was afraid last week.  Sheamus blew an opportunity last week, and he’ll do the same at SummerSlam. Sheamus can do whatever he wants, but fact is Sheamus has never beaten Orton. Orton says he’s not Triple H or Cena. Sheamus says he’s not the WWE Champion either, and he won’t be after SummerSlam, and when he beats Orton, Orton will go back to the end of the line, and Orton’ll never get another title chance.  Orton says he will beat Sheamus because Sheamus has never beaten Orton, but if Sheamus wants to redeem himself for not attacking last week, Orton says do something about it.

Sheamus, your title matches in the past have been marred with outside interference. Therefore, if anyone interferes in the WWE Champ match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely. Furthermore, I agree with Sheamus.  If Randy loses at SummerSlam, there will be no rematch, and he will go back to the end of the line. However, I also agree with Orton. If Sheamus is not scared, then I encourage him to do something about it, right now.

Sheamus goes to walk away, goes to attack Orton, stops, then walks away. Orton attacks instead, Sheamus runs the title into Orton’s face. Sheamus goes for boot, Orton dodges, and delivers a backbreaker to Sheamus. Sheamus is down, Randy backs up, then goes for a punt, but stops short.  Sheamus is freaked. Orton rolls out and picks up the Championship

<COMMERCIAL>

@iwcmvp “What the hell, why is that jar of Mayo doing with the WWE title?, MMMMMMM Mayo” – Mark Henry #WWE #BWF

@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

Sheamus is still outside the ring, very pissed off.  The Season Two NXT Rookies are in action, and I don’t care.

Three NXT Rookies vs Three NXT Rookies
Uh… The fat one won. O.o  Husky Harris.
NXT Rookies win via squishing pinfall.

Sheamus attacks Rookies afterward, hitting the High Cross on Kaval. He then takes a mic and says that it was a message to the GM and Orton, and he promises to still be the WWE Champion next week.

Truth and Morrison make their way to the ring

<COMMERCIAL>

@kickoutblog Hey you know when this would be a good idea? Tomorrow night on NXT, but I guess we have kegs to carry and fat people to kiss then.

@bojeeB Kool Aid man has died, Miracle Whip has lost his cool….

R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
I don’t know what happened… I was tweeting.
R-Truth and John Morrison win via pinfall.

<COMMERCIAL>

@wnwdotcom: Big win? They squashed two of the most irrelevant workers on the Raw roster!

@ThingsColeSays Since they couldn’t get Will Ferrall, the Bellas walk to the ring with their giant dildos. They will get off one way or another!

@RAWMysteryGM Coming up next The Bikini Contest, featuring surprise entrant Mae Young. Get the lotion ready folks, there will be some tuggin going on #BWF

Nikki and Brie Bella vs Eve Torres and Gail Kim vs Maryse and Jillian Hall
Don’t know, don’t care what happened here. Point is, they were all in bathing suits, and that is the only reason that this was even on.  The entrance with the slide was dumb, and Santino and Vladimir couldn’t even save this… Okay, Santino did.  I love that guy.
The Bellas win via crap ring work.

Tamina corners, so to speak, Santino, and then let’s him go, but slaps his ass as he walks by.  Santion acts kind of embarrassed.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Monty loses to Big Boss Man at SummerSlam>

Khali on his way to ring, but is attacked by Nexus. Everyone saw this coming.

<COMMERCIAL>

@dasharpshooters Whats up with the PG swim wear? Fucking Lame #wwe #raw #bwf

@TKeep123 Tamina wants a big old slice of Santino pie! Sweet! Must be the Uni-brow! Beware the Cobra! #WWE #RAW #BWF

Wade says that he was just informed that there will be no Khali vs Barrett match. Nexus will write a new chapter in the WWE after SummerSlam, and after they win at SummerSlam, the  balance of power will shift dramatically and permanently. Nexus will beat Team WWE. Skip says they’re going to break Team WWE physically and mentally. Otunga says if anyone in the locker room is considering joining Team WWE, think about what they’ve done tonight, because you’re either Nexus or you’re against us.

Bret and Cena make their way to the ring and Miz comes up.  Miz says their team’s in trouble, and they need help.  He figures it was just a matter of time before they went looking for him, and he says he wants to hear them ask him to join their team. Bret says fine and asks if he’s in or out. Miz says he wants to hear it from both of them. Cena asks if he’s in or out, and Miz revels in Cena asking him for help before he says he’ll let them know Sunday. Cena says it’s a shame that they may need him.

<COMMERCIAL>

@TKeep123 Something tells me that 3/4 of the Nexus … have no idea what a Nexus is! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@IAmJHPunk Is Bret gonna wrestle in a Batman shirt? #wwe #raw #bwf

Next week Justin Long guest hosts RAW.

John Cena and Bret Hart vs Chris Jericho and Edge with Nexus as Lumberjacks
Cena tossed out, Nexus goes crazy.  Jericho tossed out, Nexus doesn’t seem to give a shit, until Jericho hits Barrett by accident, and then Edge tries to help, Bret drags Gabriel in, Barrett drags him out. Nexus takes out Edge and Jericho, Morrison and Truth join Bret and Cena, Nexus gets in the ring.  Edge and Jericho back away, then seem to debate whether or not to go back in the ring.  Finally, Jericho and Edge rejoin Team WWE.  Short brawl between Team WWE and Nexus. Nexus flees best they can, and Team WWE chases then out into the stands

Alright.  I’m going to say it.  Overall, not a great RAW.  The best parts of RAW were the very first match, The Miz vs Evan Bourne, and then Randy Orton and Sheamus’ segment.  I admit, the main event got better at the end, building the hype up by making Jericho and Edge return, but the rest of it? Total shit.  Just sayin’.  See everyone in a week, I hope! If I can’t get to RAW before Tuesday, then it’ll be two weeks! Ciao, darlings!

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