RAW results: 9/29/08
By thinksojoe · · Leave a CommentBWF Note: I’m being lazy this morning, here are your RAW results from EWRESTLING.com. I’ll be here tonight for ECW’s move to 9PM with real-time coverage!
The opening video aired and fireworks lit up the stage. No sign of Jason yet. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcomed us to the show. King plugged the main event tag match of Chris Jericho and Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels and a mystery partner. They mentioned the broadcast debut of Wrestlemania airing this Thursday…
Full RAW results from EWRESTLING.com after the jump:
1. Batista defeated Santino Marella (with Beth Phoenix) in a non-title match in :47. Santino stopped halfway down the stage and put up the Honk-A-Meter. He then put up the “Brain Barometer.” Santino had ten trillion brain cells and Batista only had twelve. He said he was going to knock ten of them out. Batista laughed the whole thing off. He squashed Santino and won the match with the Batista Bomb…
After the match, Beth distracted Batista, which allowed JBL to hit the Closeline from Hell from behind…
Todd Grisham interviewed Shawn Michaels backstage. He said Lance Cade was good and he knew that ten years ago when he trained him. Grisham asked Shawn if Batista would be his partner. Shawn finally acknowledged his sketchy past with Batista. Without saying names, he teased Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and Bret Hart. He said he decided on a tag team partner “that actually likes me.”… [Commercial]
Did you know? Last week WWE superstars wrestled in all kinds of different countries. Actually, yes, I did know that…
2. The Miz (with John Morrison) defeated JTG (with Shad) in 3:44. Footage aired of The Dirt Sheet with Miz and Morrison mocking Cryme Tyme’s parents. JTG hit a middle rope leg lariat for a nearfall at 3:15. Morrison tried to interfere and was cut off by Shad. Miz used the distraction and hit the Reality Check for the win…
Jamie Noble walked through the backstage area and came across Jillian. He said her singing was terrible but he respected her wrestling ability. He asked her to team with him against Paul and Katie Burchill. She said Layla did not want to be seen with him and she was ten times hotter than her. Dolph Ziggler introduced himself to Jillian. He then tried to shake Noble’s hand but Noble said he heard him the first two times… [Commercial]
3. Jamie Noble and Mickie James defeated Paul Burchill and Katie Lea in 3:44. Noble came out alone with his opponents already in the ring. William Regal and Layla came out and Regal sat in a throne. Mickie James’ music hit and she came out to be Noble’s partner. Noble was thrilled and they hugged. This is an intergender match and not a mixed tag, so the women could legally face the men.
The women wrestled for awhile before hot tagging their partners. Noble scored a two count with a missile dropkick. Mickie disposed of Katie Lea. Noble hit a Northern Lights suplex and rolled through to apply an armbar for the win…
Cole and King plugged the tag team main event and announced an eight man tag team match… [Commercial]
Backstage, Cody Rhodes, Manu, and Ted Dibiase walked through some random area to approach Kane. Rhodes did the talking. He said Kane’s father was Paul Bearer, which made Kane a second generation superstar like them. Dibiase wanted all of them to be on the same page.
Kane said he does not take orders from anyone. He is going to massacre Rey Mysterio tonight. He told his partners to stay out of his way or he was going to leave a pile of second generation carcasses in the ring. He said he was on his way to see his good friend, Mike Adamle…
Lance Cade came out to his own music. He stopped on the stage and cut a promo. He said he learned more from Chris Jericho in the past three months than he did from Michaels in the last ten years. He said Jericho was a better teacher and better period. He said he would beat Michaels tonight like he did last week, or Jericho will beat him like he will on Sunday…
The members of the eight man tag came out. Mysterio wore a La Parka mask and took it off for a fan. He had another mask on underneath. Footage was shown of Kane’s attack on Mysterio last week… [Commercial]
4. Ted Dibiase, Manu, Cody Rhodes, and Kane defeated Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, and C.M. Punk in 12:33. All hell broke loose in the first minute. Bourne hit a somersault plancha over the top rope using Mysterio as a boost. Punk and Kofi hit suicide dives and Mysterio went over the top to land on Kane… [Commercial]
Coming back from commercial, Cody had Evan grounded in a submission hold before tagging in Manu. I like Manu’s look this week as he has his hair flowing wild ala his father. Punk tagged and enjoyed moderate success before the heels regained the advantage. Punk took a beating from every member of the heel team.
Punk nearly scored a tag but Kane knocked Mysterio from the apron. Jason and Bruce started a “C.M. Punk” chant that could be heard in the crowd. Kofi tagged in and quickly scored a nearfall on Rhodes. Everyone took out everyone, leaving Kane and Kingston. Kingston jumped at Kane but was caught. Kane hit a chokeslam for the win…
Cole plugged the tag team main event… [Commercial]
Mike Adamle stood in the middle of the ring and said Kane made a request to him earlier. He said he told Kane that he would grant his request if he won his match, which he did. If Kane defeats Rey Mysterio, Mysterio will have to take off his mask…
Randy Orton’s music hit and he strolled out to the ring. Orton asked if Adamle had his cell phone on and if he was going to check with Shane McMahon regarding the Mysterio stipulation. He then asked him if he was going to shine his shoes and pick up his dry cleaning. Adamle did not like Orton’s tone. Orton told Adamle he needed to stand up for himself.
JBL came out and Adamle looked at the stage because I do not think he recognized his music. JBL said he lost more money this week than most people will ever see. He then made a very true statement regarding the redistribution of his wealth and homeless people putting themselves there. JBL said he would win his match and that Orton should never receive a shot at the title.
Batista’s music hit and JBL stood and looked at the ramp. Batista appeared behind JBL and speared him. He said while JBL was having a bad week, at No Mercy, it was going to end up being much worse…
Backstage, Santino was talking to someone on the phone. He asked the person on the other line how he or she got his number. He ran into Beth and pretended to be talking to a sick kid named Frankie. Beth told Santino that she does not want him at ringside because he may cost her the match. Santino said it must have been a woman’s problem and he called the person he was talking to before…
Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle were shown walking with their arms around each other in preparation for their match… [Commercial]
Did you know? Last week, more people watched Raw than any show on Nickelodeon, TBS, and some other random cable channels…
5. Beth Phoenix and Jillian Hall defeated Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle in 4:25. Candice and Beth began the match but Kelly quickly tagged in and scored a nearfall. Jillian looked impressive in the ring working over Candice. Jason’s neighborhood chanted “We want puppies.” Cute. Kelly tried to roll up Beth but Beth caught her. She hit the chicken wing faceplant for the win…
Cole and King pimped the long running status of Raw… [Commercial]
6. Charlie Haas (with Ranjin Singh) defeated Deuce in 1:27. Haas played “The Great Charli” this week and yes, Singh portrayed himself. Haas spoke in his own language and Singh translated as he would for Khali. Haas walked around like Khali, or Frankenstein. He stopped imitating Khali and won the match with a top rope closeline…
After the match, the real Great Khali came out with Singh. Khali actually smiled at Haas and Singh introduced them. Haas reached out for a handshake and Khali chopped him down to the mat…
They plugged the main event one last time… [Commercial]
They aired a graphic of this “historic” week in WWE. By the way, they are showing Wrestlemania on broadcast television on Thursday. They keep showing the Wrestlemania XXIV logo and footage, but they finally showed footage of many different Wrestlemanias, so I am guessing they will do something showing highlights from every Wrestlemania…
Cole and King ran down the entire No Mercy card. I think it is humorous that everyone is shown the same size except for Mysterio. He looked like Hornswoggle in his graphic with Kane…
Jericho and Cade came out to the ring. Cade waited on the floor as Jericho cut a promo. Jericho said a fan wished him luck in his match on Sunday but he was offended by that because he does not deal in luck. He said most people are obsessed with the final moments of a ladder match with the winner reaching for the title.
Jericho prefers what happens before that moment. He had Cade grab a ladder and throw it around on the outside of the ring like a pissed off child. He used the ladder on an invisible Michaels. He then set the ladder up and walked underneath it. He said he was the best in the world and did not need luck… [Commercial]
[Overrun] 7. Degeneration X defeated Chris Jericho and Lance Cade by disqualification in 4:56. Michaels’ music played first and DX’s music followed. Cole repeatedly said, “No way, no way.” Triple H and Shawn Michaels came out and did the DX pyro crotch chop on the stage…
Cade and Jericho traded the offensive advantage on Michaels. Triple H probably remembers Cade as one of six guys he and Michaels used to beat nightly about two years ago. Jericho missed a moonsault on Michaels and both men made hot tags. H hit a series of high knees and followed that up with a spinebuster on Cade.
Triple H tried a Pedigree but Jericho hit the Code Breaker. Michaels attacked Jericho but Cade turned him inside out with a closeline. They double teamed Michaels and the referee called for the bell. Weak. Jericho brought out a ladder but Triple H chased him off with a sledgehammer. Cade ate a sledgehammer shot to the abdomen, followed by Sweet Chin Music and a Pedigree. Jericho set up the ladder, climbed it, pointed with Jericho, and hit a splash reminiscent of the one he hit on Scott Hall at Wrestlemania X. Jericho looked on in disgust as DX’s music blared…
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