Home ▸ Other ▸ Review: WrestleMania I

This is it!  BoredWrestlingFan’s WrestleMania week is in full swing, kicking off with yesterday’s WrestleMania 29 prediction podcast.  My contribution to WrestleMania week this year will be reviews of the first six WrestleMania events, starting today with 1985’s WrestleMania, and finishing up Saturday with a review of WrestleMania VI.  And don’t forget to tune in to BoredWrestlingFan Radio this Sunday at 2PM Eastern as I will be reporting LIVE from Met Life Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ, the site of WrestleMania XXIX!

I would like to preface this review by stating that I have NEVER watched this first WrestleMania before.  I’ve seen every other WrestleMania, but this is the very first time I’m watching this one.  So, this should be an interesting experience, especially considering how much the business has changed over the last 28 years.  As G would say, it’s hopping time!

I will warn you – I haven’t decided whether or not to take this seriously, or if I would rather do the standard goofball stuff that you regularly see on G’s SmackDown reviews here on BWF.  We’ll figure it out as we go along.

Wow, these introduction videos have come a long way since 1985.  BTW, I paid $1.99 to get this from Google Play, so I actually legit own a copy of this now.  Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us to the wrestling extravaganza of all time, WrestleMania.  Howard Finkel is our ring announcer for this evening.  He welcomes us as well, and asks us all to please rise for the national anthem, sung by the WWF’s own, “Mean Gene” Okerlund.  Gene-0 should stick to interviews.  Apparently this was before the tradition of doing “America The Beautiful” instead of “The Star Spangled Banner.”  Actually, Okerlund’s not that bad.

Lord Alfred Hayes is backstage.  The real one, not Matt Striker’s imitation of him.  Hayes throws us to interviews by Okerlund with Tito Santana, who says that nobody is going to stop him, and another one with The Executioner, who says you’ll know about him when he gets through with Tito Santana.  Anybody that didn’t know that it was Buddy Rose in the mask wanna buy a bridge?

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Santana sure threw a great dropkick.  He’s all over the Executioner in this one.  It’s interesting to watch these old shows, the first thing I really notice, besides how dimly lit Madison Square Garden was in 1985, is how loose the ropes are compared to today.  Executioner turns the tide and attacks the leg of Tito Santana, which was apparently injured by Greg Valentine, but his advantage doesn’t last very long.

How old is this PPV?  Gorilla Monsoon just called Tito Santana a “youngster.”  Tito picks up the victory with a figure four leglock.  Not Flair, but not Miz either.

Winner by submission:  Tito Santana

Hall of Famer count:  5 (Monsoon, Ventura, Okerlund, Santana, Finkel)

Lord Alfred Hayes is standing by, announcing our next match to be King Kong Bundy with Jimmy Hart against SD Jones.  We get our Okerlund interviews with SD Jones (he’s been waiting for the match, “we gonna get down!”) and Bundy (Jones should think about that 5 count).

King Kong Bundy vs. SD Jones

I used to have the LJN King Kong Bundy action figure.  You know, those big rubber ones.  Bundy squashes Jones into the corner and hits the avalanche right off the bat, then a big splash, and this one is over!

Winner by pinfall:  King Kong Bundy in 9 seconds

Hall of Famer count:  6 (adding Jimmy Hart)

Mean Gene Okerlund is backstage with former BWF Radio guest Matt Borne, who says Ricky Steamboat is too nice of a guy.  Ricky Steamboat comes in and says that he’s hear to develop meanness, and he’s going to start with Borne.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Matt Borne called me out on not doing my research on him for the interview.  He was right.  I didn’t even know he was on this card.  In fact, this is the first time I’ve seen him as anything other than Doink The Clown or Borne Again.  Steamboat controls this one with a headlock.  Borne tries to get out of it, but Steamboat continuously lands on his feet.  I saw a match similar to this one recently.  It had Aksana in it.  Finally the headlock is over, and the two exchange shots, and Borne gets sent to the canvas with a karate chop.  The pace completely picks up in this one, and Steamboat heads to the top rope, hitting a high cross body and picking up the three count!

Winner by pinfall:  Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat

Hall of Famer count:  7 (adding Ricky Steamboat)

Alfred Hayes tells us that Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino is up next and throws it to the Mean Gene interviews.  David Sammartino says Beefcake is in for a big surprise.  Beefcake says “pthhhhhh.”  Johnny Valiant does all the talking for him.

David Sammartino (with Bruno Sammartino) vs. Brutus Beefcake (with “Luscious” Johnny Valiant)

Hmm.  Do I count Bruno as a Hall of Famer in my Hall of Famer count?  He’s technically not a Hall of Famer yet – he’s getting inducted this Saturday night.  I’ll be there.  I suppose he does.  Anyways, here we go.  The referee takes his time getting the managers out of the ring.  I will try to be unbiased in this match, as I don’t think I make any secret that I’m not a fan of Beefcake on a personal level.  It’s a complete contrast here – Sammartino is built like an old time pro wrestler, whereas Beefcake is built like a more modern day Superstar.  Sammartino is pretty quick for his size though, which seems to catch Beefcake off guard.  A front facelock applied by Sammartino.  David Sammartino could actually wrestle.  He works over the arm of Beefcake through the match.  After a brief comeback by Beefcake, Sammartino goes after the legs.  Brutus takes over, hammering away at Sammartino with precision strikes.  Sammartino strikes back, taking over with a big right hand.  Sammartino gets a two count on a floatover suplex.  Beefcake sends Sammartino out of the ring, where Johnny Valiant bodyslams him.  Bruno comes over and attacks Valiant and all hell breaks loose, this match ends in a double DQ.

Double Disqualification

Hall of Famer count:  8 (adding Bruno Sammartino)

Lord Alfred tells us that our next match is The Junkyard Dog taking on Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (with Jimmy Hart) for the Intercontinental Championship.  Valentine says he nails people harder than anyone in professional wrestling, JYD says he’s got the biggest opportunity of his life.  And something about buying a lot of bones.  Seriously.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:  Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (c) vs. Junkyard Dog

Greg Valentine had a personality.  Who knew?  JYD is the first guy on this show to get an entrance with music.  Time to grab them cakes, right G?  JYD is an exciting guy to watch.  He’s also another guy who’s LJN figure I had back in the day.  Valentine works over the legs, setting up for the Figure Four Leglock.  Wouldn’t mind seeing that after the Tito Santana variant earlier in the night.  He goes for it, but JYD kicks him right off.  Dog fights back with headbutts.  Jimmy Hart distracts the ref, and in turn, JYD.  Hammer tries to hit JYD but gets Jimmy Hart instead, and JYD fires away on the Intercontinental Champion.  Valentine pins JYD with his feet on the ropes, this one is over.

Or is it?  Tito Santana comes out and snitches on Valentine.  Tattle Tale.  Referee starts to count Valentine out because the match re-started.  Valentine manages to get counted out, but unfortunately, JYD still doesn’t win the title.

Winner by count-out:  Junkyard Dog

Hall of Famer count:  10 (adding both Valentine and JYD)

Lord Alfred Hayes announces our next match, Nikolai Volkoff and BWF favorite The Iron Sheik (with Freddie Blassie) vs. The US Express (with Captain Lou Albano).  Sheikie Baby tells us this is the best time of his life.  Fred Blassie says he’s got the next Tag Team Champions.  The US Express basically say they’re on their way to the ring.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match:  US Express (c)(With Captain Lou Albano) vs. Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (with Fred Blassie)

Volkoff sings the Soviet National Anthem as people in the audience blow air horns and boo loudly while throwing trash.  The U.S. Express get an entrance, much like JYD in the last match.  Let’s see if they can retain their titles.  Sheik is another guy whose LJN figure I own.  I need to break that out and put it on display in the BWF Radio studios before Sheik break my back make me humble.  Mike Rotundo starts off with The Iron Sheik.  Quick paced match, which benefit the champions.  Quick tags get Barry Windham in the match.  He winds up in the wrong corner, but battles his way out.  Volkoff gets the tag in, but the US Express maintain control.  Volkoff manages to get Rotundo in trouble, and tags in The Iron Sheik.  Sheik could still go back in 1985, that’s for sure.  Rotundo scores a two count on a sunset flip on Volkoff, but the challengers manage to maintain control, until Rotundo gets the tag in to Windham.  Windham nails the bulldog, but Sheik breaks up the pin.  Things get crazy in the ring, but as the referee is admonishing Rotundo, Sheik nails Windham with Blassie’s cane.  Volkoff covers Windham, and picks up the victory and the tag team titles!

Winners by pinfall and New WWF Tag Team Champions:  The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff

Hall of Famer count:  15 (adding Albano, Blassie, Sheik, Volkoff, and Windham)

Gene Okerlund is with the new Tag Team Champions.  Blassie insists it wasn’t a controversial victory.  Sheik says old country is the best.  Volkoff says they’re number one.

Alfred Hayes tells us the next match is intriguing.  It’s a bodyslam challenge between Big John Studd and Andre The Giant with $15,000 and Andre’s career on the line.  Mean Gene tries to snag some of the money from the bag that Bobby Heenan has it in.

$15,000 Bodyslam Challenge:  Big John Studd (with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Andre The Giant

I just noticed that there are about 24 minutes worth of matches left, but about an hour left in the show.  Interesting.  Big John Studd (whose LJN figure I have) attacks Andre before the bell.  Andre chops back, and nails Studd with a headbutt.  Studd stalls on the outside, finally getting back in the ring, only to be deliberately choked by the Giant.  It’s all Andre here.  Studd kicks Andre low, but can’t manage to pick him up for the bodyslam.  Andre locks in a bearhug.  The fans chant “slam, slam, slam.”  15 year old Shepard Fairey runs by yelling “OBEY!”  Not really.  Andre continues to wear down Studd with a headlock.  Finally, Andre slams Studd, picking up the victory!

Winner:  Andre The Giant

Andre starts throwing the money out to the audience before Bobby Heenan steals the money back and runs away.

Mean Gene is with Andre backstage, he says he doesn’t care about the money, he proved he could slam Big John Studd.

Hall of Famer count:  18 (adding Heenan, Andre, and Studd)

Hayes gets a kiss from The Fabulous Moolah and Leilani Kai.  Mean Gene hears from Cindi Lauper and Wendi Richter, who is dead set on getting her title back.  Moolah and Kai say that Kai is going to win.  Ladies’ title on the line!

WWF Ladies’ Championship:  Leilani Kai (c) (with The Fabulous Moolah) vs. Wendi Richter (with Cindi Lauper)

Richter and Lauper make their way to the ring to “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.”  David Wolf is also in their corner.  You know, I’ve seen the match between Richter and Moolah from The Brawl To End It All, but I’ve never seen the matches she had with Leilani Kai.  Kai continues to take Richter down by the hair, but the referee never actually sees her do it.  Moolah tries to get involved, but Lauper goes after her to break it up.  This is actually a pretty solid match.  Not like the Divas matches today.  Kai goes for a high cross body from the top rope, but Richter uses the momentum to roll through and pick up the victory!

Winner by pinfall and New WWF Ladies’ Champion:  Wendi Richter

Hall of Famer count:  20 (adding Moolah and Richter)

Wolf, Richter, and Lauper are backstage, and they’re excited about their victory.  Lauper has lipstick all over her teeth.

Howard Finkel announces that it’s time for our main event.  He introduces the guest ring announcer, one of the all time baseball greats, former Yankee manager, Billy Martin.  Martin introduces the officials, first the guest time keeper, Liberace, who is accompanied by the Rockettes.  Our guest referee for the evening is Muhammad Ali.  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and Paul “Mr #1derful” Orndorff are played to the ring by bagpipers, and accompanied by “Cowboy” Bob Orton.  “Real American” plays on this copy of this show, even though we all know they used Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” for this event, as Hulk Hogan and Mr. T come to the ring along with “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka.  How Drew Carey is in the Hall of Fame and Mr. T is not, I’ll never understand.

Hulk Hogan & Mr. T (with Jimmy Snuka) vs. Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorff (with Bob Orton)

Pat Patterson is the in-ring official for this one.  The crowd is hot.  Piper and Hogan kick things off.  Or at least it looks that way.  Mr. T wants in there with Piper.  The crowd wants it too.  Hogan tags in T.  How Booker T is in the Hall of Fame before Mister T, I’ll never understand.  No, I kid, Booker’s great.  The crowd is solidly behind Mr. T, who actually puts up a solid fight against the far more experienced Piper.  The referees lose control of this one, as both managers get involved.  Ali and Patterson work together to get order restored.  If this were today it would be Khali and Pancake Patterson breaking things up.  Fun.  Patterson gets up to a 7 count as Piper and Orndorff are trying to leave, but Hogan stops him from counting, and the heels return.  Hogan and Piper go at it in the ring, Orndorff gets involved, but finally we’re left with Hogan and Piper in the ring, and it’s all Hogan.  I didn’t see a tag from T to Hogan, but whatever.  Piper gets tagged back in (even though I still say he didn’t tag out), and he handles his business in the ring.  The faces get quick tags to keep a fresh man in the ring.  Hogan hits a big boot and sends Piper to the floor.  Orndorff clotheslines Hogan out of the ring, and Piper drills Hogan with a chair to the back.  Ali breaks it up.  Orndorff throws Hogan back in to Piper.   The heels double team Hogan in their corner.  Orndorff misses a flying knee from the top, and Hogan manages to make the tag.  The heels start to double team T instead.  It’s back and forth for a while, mostly in favor of Piper/Orndorff.  Bob Orton tries to nail Hogan from the top rope with the cast on his hand, but Hogan escapes the grasp of Paul Orndorff, causing Orndorff to take the cast to his head instead, allowing Hogan to pick up the pinfall victory.

Winners:  Hulk Hogan & Mr. T

Hall of Famer count:  26 (adding Hogan, Snuka, Piper, Orndorff, Orton, and Patterson)

After the match, Hogan, T, and Snuka all celebrate with the celebrity officials.  Okerlund interviews the victors.  Mr. T says wrestling’s not for no wimps.  Hogan says he knew Mr. T had it in him, dude brother.  Snuka says it was a pleasure to be in Hogan and T’s corner.

Gorilla and Jesse thank everybody for watching.  The show ends with a series of still pictures from the event playing behind the closing credits.  Yes, that’s right, the closing credits.  There’s something you haven’t seen in a long, long time on a professional wrestling program.

ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts:  That was actually far better than I expected.  I was highly expecting this week to drag on while watching some of these old shows, but if the first one is any indicator, this actually might be fun.  Come back tomorrow for my review of WrestleMania 2!

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