Home ▸ Drowgoddess ▸ “Smackdown” 6/17/11

[King Leonidas voice/] This is “Smackdown!”

As this review is somewhat late in being posted, and many of you, dear readers, have already watched the show or read spoilers, your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess is adjusting the review format a bit. Streamlining the process, as it were. Enjoy!

Opening video package!

Everything fans need to know about Christian’s recent actions was present here. Motivation, recaps of important moments, and the turn itself were all included. When WWE can be bothered, their video packages are the best.

Opening promo segment!

Was anyone else somewhat disconcerted at Randy Orton entering with huge smiles, interacting with fans, and pounding his fist in the air? Sure, he’s the top face on “Smackdown,” but it came off as odd. Orton announced that he did, in fact, have a concussion, and that he didn’t give a damn. Everyone cheered. Teddy Long entered, and played the “bad guy,” refusing to allow Orton to fight Christian tonight due to Orton’s diagnosed concussion and lack of medical clearance. Everyone booed.

HOLD  IT RIGHT THERE! Has nothing truly been learned about this? Enough with the “To hell with the professional medical opinion of someone who has no vested interest in and therefore inherent bias about what I do, I shall suck up this minor form of brain damage and walk it off because I care nothing about my future as a human being after the wrestling business has had done with me” attitude! Oh, it’s just a story, DG! Get over yourself and stop being so sanctimonious! Um, no. No, I won’t. Not about this issue. Having your audience, the target of which is kids, cheering for your top face to ignore a diagnosed concussion and fight anyway, is extremely irresponsible at this point. It’s not as if Orton cut his finger a week ago, and sufficient healing time has passed.

Christian enters, and stirs the pot. Why is Orton still so angry? Christian gave him exactly what he needed, an excuse to use when Christian beats him on Sunday at the ppv. No one will think any less of Orton for losing to Christian. Let’s take a page out of the Teddy Long playbook and poll the audience! (This part has become GOLD!) Huge boos in response to said poll. Does that mean that Christian is wrong, and fans really WILL think less of Orton if he loses? Christian adds that if Orton is really lucky, five days after Christian wins back the title, he will allow Orton a title shot. Cue Sheamus! The whitest wrestler u know (see what I did there?) points out that Christian has had, and lost, about fifty title shots. Sheamus, however, defeated Orton last week, and therefore deserves to get in on the title action. Christian insists that his ppv match on Sunday has already been set, and that “Strawberry Shortcake here” has to wait in line. Theodore R. Long makes a match between Christian and Sheamus tonight. If Sheamus wins, the title match at the ppv on Sunday becomes a three-way dance. If Christian wins, the match stays a one-on-one match. Orton is given a seat at ringside, with orders to look, but not touch. Just like at the strip clubs. Long says that if Orton gets involved in the match tonight, there will be serious consequences. Orton responds that tonight, there WILL be serious consequences.

Daniel Bryan, Sin Cara, and Ezekiel Jackson defeated Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase: Justin Gabriel’s pronouncement last week that the Corre was over (which drew huge cheers, by the way) appears to be true, as Wade Barrett entered to the Corre’s music, but his own video. No more Corre! This match was what one would expect, with Big Zeke and Barrett bringing the power, Sin Cara all over the place, and Daniel Bryan just being awesome. Not a bad match, but not great either. Daniel Bryan pinned Ted DiBiase after some kicks. The finish looked awkward, and may not have been planned. I stand by my previous statements that Sin Cara should have been kept off of tv for a while so that he could adapt to the WWE style and improve his English.

Jinder Mahal (w/ the Great Khali) defeated Vladimir Kozlov: Yes! Mahal needs to start fighting larger opponents, and this could be fun. Kozlov gives Mahal the strongest opposition to date, and both guys looked good. Kozlov smashed into the ring post, and took a chop from Khali while Mahal argued with the referee. A full Nelson suplex slam just doesn’t look effective as a finisher on a big guy like Kozlov without something else happening before it. The Khali chop didn’t look very debilitating. 

To the ring!

The Big Show is introduced by Josh Matthews. What brand split? Show heard a rumor that Alberto Del Rio was going to be on”Smackdown” tonight, so he showed up too. When did this rumor start? Did you hear anything about it? A video package details the attempted vehicular homicide of Show by Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. Show is so upset that he can’t answer Matthews’s questions. Cue Teddy Long! Due to civil and criminal charges filed against Show for his “assault” of Ricardo Rodriguez, Show can’t lay a finger on Del Rio IF Del Rio shows up tonight. Long puts Show in a match against Mark Henry, who is all business coming to the ring.

Big Show annihilates Mark Henry: Henry barely made it into the ring. This wasn’t even a match. Is Henry still being targeted by Vince and the powers-that-be? Henry has to be stretchered out of the arena (insert your own joke here), while Show makes a Cody Rhodes-esque exit with his hoodie pulled up. Vince must be on a rip about making all of the big guys monsters of destruction again. Khali and Big Show have both suddenly made that change.

Tamina, Alicia Fox, and Rosa Mendes defeated Natalya, Kaitlyn, and AJ: Jeebus. Tamina hit a (real) Samoan Drop on AJ for the win. Why are Natalya and Tamina stuck in this disaster? People who didn’t watch the Diva NXT season (and there would seem to be many of those) have no idea who Kaitlyn and AJ are, and care even less. Sure, Kaitlyn got over to a degree by standing up to Vickie Guerrero. Months ago. What has she done since then? Perhaps the most annoying thing about the two rookies is that all knowledge of them is had through the announcers. One of the most basic rules of theatre is “Don’t tell me, show me.” Stop insisting that AJ is the ultimate geek girl and that I should adore her for that. Show me a backstage segment where she’s playing a recent video game and beating some guy at it, or discussing the finer details of Green Lantern canon and why the movie was good or bad in related respects. That the Divas division had to be completely reworked is understood, but this is just plain lazy.

I will not discuss this Johnny Curtis from NXT, nor will I recap the “Capitol Punishment” dream sequence video.

Jimmy and Jey Uso defeat Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater: Wow! Yes! The Usos get a clean and legit tag team victory! This apparently means that they get a tag team title shot against Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga. It’s such a shame that there is no real tag team division. Very good match from both teams, and the Usos looked particularly strong.

Alberto Del Rio promo!

Fancy, expensive car? Yes. Personal ring announcer? No. Rumors that Del Rio is negotiating a return to “Smackdown” because he fears the Big Show on RAW are false. While what happened to Show was an accident, what Show did to Ricardo Rodriguez was not. Roll that beautiful bean footage! We see Show pummeling Rodriguez into oblivion. While Del Rio bails up the ramp. Anyway. Del Rio refers to Rodriguez as his best friend, who was loyal to him, like a dog. And the split begins! Del Rio dedicates his match on Sunday to Rodriguez and his family, and if Show were here right now, Del Rio would spit in his face. Really? Cue Big Show! Running, no less. Seriously, full speed running. Del Rio bails into the audience and up into the arena. Show destroys the announce table and the entire ringside area.

Christian defeats Sheamus: So Sunday’s ppv match remains the same, Orton against Christian. Hmm. This match was very good. I love how Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker, then throws his opponent to the mat. Action went back and forth, with both guys looking strong. Sheamus had Christian up on the turnbuckle for a superplex, but Christian slid down and smashed Sheamus head-first into the ring post. Sheamus lands in the ring, and Christian pins him for the win. Would that the match had ended there. But no. Oh, no. Orton chases Christian up the ramp, then returns to the ring to punt Sheamus in the head and pose with the title belt. Why? Why did Sheamus have to get punted in the head? The move that is supposed to put people on the shelf for months, possibly incapacitating them for life? What is the benefit here? Yes, most people will probably like this ending, but it wasn’t necessary.

That’s it for this week, but check back with us for more Bored Wrestling Fan goodness!

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

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