Home ▸ Drowgoddess ▸ “Smackdown” Review 5/14/10

Greetings, all!

Your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess is covering this week’s “Smackdown,” as our fearless leader, ThinkSoJoE, was actually in attendance. This review should have gone up yesterday, but due to completely unexpected personal matters of the happy persuasion, you’re getting it now. With a smile. 🙂

I see no signs that could possibly be those of ThinkSoJoE. Boo, WWE and your poor camera angles! We open with a recap of the Matt Hardy/Drew McIntyre violence, and McIntyre subsequently being stripped of the Intercontinental Championship belt and fired by General Manager Teddy Long. I wouldn’t mind seeing Drew McIntyre stripped of other things as well. 😉 McIntyre will be back. He’s not going to RAW, I don’t think.

The afore-mentioned Mr. Long enters the ring, carrying the Intercontinental Championship title belt over his shoulder.  Mr. Long announces the title match for that championship will begin at once.

Kofi Kingston vs. Christian (Intercontinental Championship title match): Wow! Starting off with this? It’s not an inherently bad idea, but I’m surprised. The bell rings and we’re off! Matt Striker points out Christian’s experience edge, particularly in big-money matches. Kofi starts out with kicks, but the action quickly moves back and forth. Reversals and more reversals. This is a great match already. HUGE, gorgeous monkey flip by Christian on Kofi out of the corner, where Kofi lands perfectly on his feet. Kofi returns the favor and hits Christian with a monkey flip of his own, and Christian hits the mat before rolling out to the floor. Kofi tries a slingshot crossbody to the floor, but Christian dodges, and Kofi eats floor. Christian follows up with HIS slingshot crossbody to the floor, and his hits. Back in the ring, the pace of the actions slows, but the back-and-forth aspect does not. Kofi lands a pendulum kick and a crossbody block on Christian, but does not score the three-count. Counters upon counters, and two-counts galore! This match really has to be seen to be appreciated. Kofi lands a Boom Drop, but Christian kicks out. WOW! This is fantastic stuff. Line of the match goes to Matt Striker. “If I were Christian, I would have to resort to cheating now!” One huge Trouble in Paradise kick later, It’s Kofi! Kofi wins! What a match!

Winner (and NEW Intercontinental Champion): Kofi Kingston

Cue Drew McIntyre’s music! Wasn’t he fired? Teddy Long says that he’ll have security escort McIntyre out again. McIntyre hands Long an envelope, which Long opens. After reading the letter inside, Long tells Kofi that he’s sorry, but he has to take the title back. Kofi is furious, but complies. My, those “boo”s are loud! Long hands the title to McIntyre, who smirks and holds the belt high as he exits up the ramp.

NEW new Intercontinental Champion: Drew McIntyre

Matt Striker reads the letter given to Teddy Long by Drew McIntyre. Vince McMahon has overridden Long’s decisions, reinstated McIntyre on the “Smackdown” roster, and still recognizes him as the Intercontinental Champion.

To the Jack Swagger/Big Show video recap!

To the back! Jack Swagger tells a truck crew how to unload their truck.

Shad Gaspard vs. Jesse Guyver: I have it on good authority from my high-level source that “Jesse Guyver” is in fact Buffalo local indy wrestler Pepper Parks. Whatever name he uses, he’s getting squashed by Shad Gaspard. With an STO. Yes, it was that short.

Winner: Shad Gaspard

Video recap of the CM Punk/Rey Mysterio history. Punk singing “Happy Birthday” to Aaliyah is still one of the creepiest things you’ll ever see.

MVP and JTG vs. the Dudebusters (Trent Barretta and Caylen Croft): Hmm. I actually like the pairing of MVP and JTG. Alphabet soup jokes write themselves. MVP/JTG are all about the power and the Dudebusters are more about the agility. Power wins, as MVP scores the victory for his team.

Winners: MVP and JTG

To the back! CM Punk admonishes Serena and Luke Gallows for the doubt that he saw in their eyes. He has forgiven them, but they will stay in the back tonight. He will reaffirm that he is all that he says he is, and he will never see doubt in their eyes again.

The truck crew carries boxes of trophies and awards to the ring.

Awards of all kinds, including an Eagle Scout uniform, letterman’s jackets, a Scrabble board, and so on fill the ring. Jack Swagger enters. Oh, where is The G-Bag’s intro when you need it??? Swagger has accomplished more in one day that most people do in a lifetime. He brought all this to share with YOU. Especially with the Big Show. Swagger speaks at great length on his awards. THIS is how one does a long talking segment and keeps it interesting. At the age of five, he was better than all of their children. GOLD! Seriously, transcribing this segment wouldn’t even come close to doing it justice. Eventually, Big Show enters. He acts like a kid in a candy store, impressed with Swagger’s accomplishments. Swagger almost begs him not to touch anything, that’s his life in there. “Fat Vienna sausage fingers” was the phrase used. Show is all light-heartedness as he destroys some of Swagger’s awards, completely humiliating the Champion by segment’s end. Now THIS is entertaining!

Rosa Mendes vs. Beth Phoenix: Ugh, Diva match time. Yaay, Beth Phoenix match time! I’m so torn. “EXCUSE ME!!!!” Oh, never mind. Vickie orders Rosa to leave. She announces that Michelle McCool has chosen to exercise her automatic rematch clause tonight. For the first time ever, the WWE Women’s Championship will be defended in a two-on-one handicap match. Beth Phoenix must defend her title against Layla El and Michelle McCool. Much is made of Beth’s injured left knee. Awesome spot where Beth picks up both members of Team LayCool and Samoan Drops them. Nice! Beth and McCool collide, knocking McCool to the floor and Beth almost out. Layla rushes in and covers Beth for the three-count. Dear God, will Layla please stop screaming?

Winner (and NEW Women’s Champion): Layla El

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero: Oh, please, do we really need to ask? Or watch? Kane squashes Chavo and gets the win.

Winner: Kane

To the back! Teddy Long realizes that he can’t take anything away from Drew McIntyre. He will give him something instead. Next week, Drew McIntyre goes one-on-one with – the Big Show!

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk: Punk comes out alone, true to his word. As disinterested as I am in Rey per se, this angle with Punk has brought out some of his best work. Matches between these two are always good, and this one is no exception. Rey misses a leap from the top turnbuckle, and Punk shoves him into the barricade on the floor. Back in the ring, Punk works over Rey’s shoulders and lower back. This is just really solid wrestling, and I’m sitting back and enjoying it. Punk locks Rey in an abdominal stretch, but Rey refuses to submit. Counters on top of counters, and Punk hurls Rey to the floor with great force. HUGE springboard clothesline from Punk, but Rey kicks out at two. Knees to the head by Rey. Very back-and-forth action, with more counters and reversals. Rey attempts a third 619, only to be grabbed by Luke Gallows. The match gets thrown out due to the interference of the Straight Edge Society, who weren’t even supposed to be here today. 😛 Post-match, the hooded stranger who helped the SES attack Rey before returns to help them again. As Rey takes a shot at said stranger, the hood is pulled down to reveal – Serena? Ok. Rey won’t hit a female, so he backs off, just in time to get flattened by the REAL hooded stranger. Oh, that physicality is unmistakable! And he already has a shaved head. You know who this is, my smarky friends! Punk gestures at the SES, and Gallows and the hooded stranger place Rey on Punk’s shoulders. Punk delivers a Go To Sleep, then holds out Rey’s arms in the SES pledge formation. He recites the SES pledge as his own music kicks in.

Really good show here! I certainly hope that ThinkSoJoE had a good time.

Cheers,

Drowgoddess

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