Tonight, Smackdown hails from my city of birth, the mean streets of Edmonton. A place ravaged by gang warefare between Polar Bears and Steve. You know, Steve? Everyone knows Steve. He’s a tough dude. Saw him wear shorts in July once, in three feet of snow. There’s a statue of Jericho there too, inventor of Canada. In Canada, we all hop. Do you hop? You should.
Why wear wrestling gear when going anarchist?
Can I be frank for a minute? JT is seen in my preamble holding up a sign that says, “No, your name is ‘G’, brother, dude.”
Fine. Look. On May 21st, Steve Wilhite, inventor of the GIF file format won The Life Time Achievement Webby Award on May 21 for giving the gift of the GIF to the world. He also settled the long time debate on how to pronounce the word associated with the format.
The Dude who invented it says it’s a soft “G”. Asshole’s calling me “soft”?
Or as he would nicely put it, “Choosy programmers choose ‘jif’.” So for all those whining and complaining that they have been wrong all along, deal with it. Just learn to speak properly. I can’t believe there is internet outrage over this. Un-fucking-believable.
And one more thing… There is also confusion on how to pronunciate the internet term, “Meme.”
[youtube 3dErjFPTarc]
Smarten up. It rhymes with “cream.” I have no clue why some people think it sounds like “Them,” or “B.B.“.
This is all more important than more normal preamble, actually. Hit the jump. Hopping time.
Step 1: Steal a time machine
Step 2: Go back to the 1980’s and find yourself a Pogoball
Step 3: It’s hopping time, motherfuckers.
[youtube tgYzHV7Ftqc]
Let’s do this shit.
Long week, and kind of a sad one. But no need to divulge in that crap, since Smackdown is on… and frankly, I’m tired and thereby, lazy. So grab some industrial sized springs, yeah those ones with the sharp ends. Jam them into the soles of your feet and proceed to turn them into your foot until they come out of the top because it’s hopping time!
…or flippy floppy time?
Yawn.
Well, here we are. One more PPV to get through until the final stretch before WrassleMunia. Good times, good times. To be honest, the card looks pretty solid, and I expect Sunday will deliver a solid show. As for Smackdown, this probably will a whole bunch of clip packages and filler. Perhaps one or two tidbits of interest will slip through the cracks… Perhaps. But, that’s why you’re here. To see what in the blue hell happened (or what I perceived that happened).
Not to sound crabby… You + Hopping = Now.
I’ve read the matches (non-spoiler version) ahead of time, and kill… me… now. This does not look good, people. There’s one or two on the card that look passable. But I must warn you, there will be much FFW content on this debacle. Unless you like immobile big guys that can’t really do anything in the ring. If that’s the case, enjoy! Not me, though. Ugghhh… It is hopping time… more like skipping time. Oh well, maybe they’ll make up for it with a whimsical Hornswoggle and Natalya cover of “Dueling Banjos” using flatulance instead of the five string percussive chording hybrid of an instrument? Fuck.
Hopping time, folks….