AN APOLOGY
Leave a CommentDue to circumstances beyond my control, there will not be a “Rytman Review” this week.
I am very sorry to let BWF down like this, however I am unable to meet my obligation.
Again, I apollogize.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, there will not be a “Rytman Review” this week.
I am very sorry to let BWF down like this, however I am unable to meet my obligation.
Again, I apollogize.
Oh, the hell with it. Joe better be careful on BWF Radio reading what I write tonight. Let’s see how many of these I give this week:
Just hit the damn jump, Boba Haters.
Unlike last week, I am coming into this episode with a better attitude. Perhaps this is a result of a vastly improved RAW (well, at least by comparison) and a mildly entertaining live Impact on Thursday. I’m not sure why my mindset is linked to other grappling content I partake, but it is. Let’s see if the WWE can continue this trend as Sin Cara returns tonight! Let’s have at it, shall we?
(more…)
And Hillbilly Jesus cried…..
Getting ahead of myself. After what should of been the greatest PPV of the year, but instead turned into false expectations and lukewarm matches (except for Austin Aries vs Kendrick, and Lynn/RVD) we have the aftermath.
Impact Wrestling starts with a Sting promo, which leads the former insane icon to call out Hogan. Hogan comes out and gives props to Stinger for the assist in getting back on the right track. He talks on about how it wasn’t Bischoff’s fault for what happened and he takes responsibility for his actions for being a follower instead of a leader. After Hogan leaves, in steps Dixie Carter. She goes on how Sting warned her 18 months ago about Bischoff/Hogan’s plan. Sting accepts her apology and is given the task as…Mick Foley’s Job?? Anyway he’s appointed in charge of Impact Wrestling. But Angle steps out next. He talks about how Dixie being back doesn’t make him happy and how he’s the world champion and will make decisions. Out steps Roode, he tells Kurt that he screwed him and Angle agrees telling Bobby he was a threat and couldn’t let him win. (Nice job making him look threatening) Tells Roode that when they signed the contract Angle took advice from Hogan/Bischoff and put in a no rematch clause.
And just as Kurt is about to mockingly steal Storm’s trademark line guess who’s music hits, James Storm says that since Roode can’t get his rematch he instead volunteers himself. Sting steps in and makes it official. Storm gives Angle the Shade eyes before saying “Sorry about your damn luck!”
Okay for it being what it was that whole segment including commercial breaks (which there where two) Lasted 40 minutes in length. By the time we came back to the show with the Knockout Tag match it was 44 after the hour. Sorry about being a watch Nazi but that was long. That could’ve of been resolved in backstage segments.
Whatever. We have the Knockouts Tag match with former MIA Tara. She and Ms Tessmacher have a match against the TTLV or as I all them Love and Winter with the titles on the line. After a decent match which besides Love’s attempts at offense was capitalized with Tessmacher flying throw the air Ricky Dragon style (flying crossbody) on Winter for the three. She is working her butt off for the respect of the fans without all the push behind her.
The Promos in no particular order include: Hogan being cornered in the parking lot by Immortal, Bischoff tells Hogan to face him like a man in the ring later.
Velvet Sky talks about everything she has went through to get the knockouts title. Which includes clips of her as the heel team the beautiful people alongside Madison Rayne holding the knockout tag titles while laughing heel like. Of course this is followed by her narration of being picked on as a child and through school and how she decided she would never allow that to happen again and to fight for everything she wants. This must include her putting bags on people who were not considered beautiful and spraying hairspray in peoples faces?
Eric Young is doing a photo shoot when Robbie E and Rob Terry confront him. Robbie E wants the television title which Eric obliges on the condition that Rob Terry doesn’t interfere or Eric will get his big time television friends to help him, this is before mentioning Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. (Sigh)
Abyss takes on Gunner. Gunner cuts an okay promo in which he describes how bad ass he is this is before Abyss comes out and destroys him. Gunner runs away to the back. Abyss wins by countout. Backstage Gunner runs into Immortal and tells them “That wasn’t Abyss out there, that was the monster”. They blow him off and proceed to take out Hogan.
In the ring Bischoff talks and eventually slaps Hogan only to cause Hogan to point his finger which the crowd chants “YOU” before Eric runs and Immortal runs in. Sting flies in with two baseball bats and scares off Immortal. Bischoff while walking up the ramp bumps into his son who he berates and even rips off his shirt revealing a Bischoff tattoo over his heart. Garrett B punches his dad before giving Hulk the thumbs up.
Velvet Sky comes out with the Knockouts belt. Talks about the sacrifice she put in and blah blah blah. Karen with Traci come out. First Karen has Traci removed from the arena before moving forward with her plan to physical hurt Velvet. Out comes Madision Rayne. While Velvet is distracted by her a returning Gail Kim runs in and ambushes her from behind. Soon both women Kim and Rayne are beating the tar out of Velvet before all three hug.
And finally we have the conclusion of the program, which include the best 6 minutes in main event history and this includes Jeremy Borash’s introductions of the wrestlers. Welcome Time Nazi, from Midwest time. From 9:50-9:56pm, We have Kurt Angle VS James Storm. But before that we have the Roode pep talk about how Storm’s been preparing for this a long time. Anyway when the bell rings at 9:54pm and Kurt starts beating on Storm in what looks like a not so typical Kurt Angle match getting Storm into the corner before the ref pulls him off twice well on the second attempt Storm busts out the Last Call AKA Super kick and floors Angle for the 3, all by 9:56pm.
What a way to win the title. I know that being a time nazi is not fun but Kurt mentioned in the earlier promo from the opening of the show that him and Roode went for 30 minutes, which means Angle is slowly losing take of time. Because from my recollection it was more like 14 minutes. But who’s counting.
After a brief celebration in which Storm tries to hand Roode the belt which he respectfully declines. We close out at 10:01pm. Bound For Glory is TNA’s Wrestlemania, Starrcade and so on but after Thursday all it really says is that no fan needs to waste money on the program because they can watch a painfully talkative show with a face finish for free. Oh yeah since Impact is being lazy so am I. Here is my one picture.
Sorry about my damn luck!
Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah. I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble. This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed. The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…
Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship
So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph. The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match. I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be. Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out. Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down. So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.
The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it. Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline. It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring. Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.
Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.
Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way. NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH! IT WAS!!!!!!!
Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship
You read that right. Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya. However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.
Michelle was pissed.
Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) CM Punk
I have to stop here. Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl. Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.
1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio
There were a lot of hijinks in the ring during the match. The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley. Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to. It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.
See ya tomorrow night for Monday Night RAW!
It’s Friday, and you know what that means – time for another edition of WWE SmackDown! I’m not in a very creative mood for this intro tonight, so let’s get started!
———————–X————————–
Tonight on SmackDown, Jeff Hardy takes on The Brian Kendrick, Triple H takes on MVP, and Vickie Guerrero is expecting her apology from The Undertaker. All this and more, tonight! You guys know how it works by now, quick results up here, details after the jump, so stick around, Friday Night SmackDown is on the air right now!
Michelle McCool def. Maryse to retain the WWE Divas Championship.
Festus vs. Ryan Braddock ended in a no contest when Jesse and Festus wrapped Braddock in duct tape and bubble wrap and wheeled him out of the arena.
R-Truth def. Shelton Benjamin.
Jeff Hardy def. The Brian Kendrick. After the match, Vladimir Kozlov lays Hardy out at the top of the ramp.
Carlito’s Cabana with special guest Primo. They challenge Hawkins and Ryder to a tag title match, which is accepted for next week.
The Great Khali destroyed Scotty Goldman.
Triple H def. MVP.
Full details after the jump! (more…)