Nah mate, nothing hurts like buggery …

Apparently, as this goes to print, I have been bought out. A deal has been made between Joe and ‘the Donald’, which means that this week’s column is bought to you by ‘the Donald’.

WWE

The Bash is this weekend, so I suppose, i’d better preview it for the public.

Jimmy Valiant vs Paul Jones in a Dog Collar match

Expect the ‘Handsome’ one to win this one.

Billy Graham, Konga the Barbarian and Abdullah the Butcher w/Paul Jones vs Manny Fernandez, Sam Houston and Buzz Tyler

Even though their manager competed in the first match, I see Graham’s team winning. The size and craziness of the Butcher will be too much for the other team to handle.

Ron Bass w/James J. Dillon vs Buddy Landell

I see the future Horsemen manager playing  a part in this one. Ron Bass takes it out for me.

Minnesota Wrecking Crew (c) (Ole and Arn Anderson) vs Buzz Sawyer and Dick Slater – NWA National Tag Team Championship

I see the Andersons scraping this one out and retaining the gold.

NWA World Tag Team Champions: Krusher Khruschev and Ivan Koloff vs the AWA World Tag Team Champions: the Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering

I see the AWA Champs taking this one out in what will sure to be nothing short of a fight between these four guys.

Magnum T.A. (c) vs Kamala w/Skandor Akbar for the NWA United States Championship

Somehow, in some way, I can see Magnum retaining the gold. Possibly by a countout or a disqualification, but he will retain.

Ric Flair (c) vs Nikita Koloff w/Ivan Koloff with David Crockett as Referee for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship

Flair always seems to rise in the big occasions, and even with the help of Ivan, I can’t see Nikita winning. The dirtiest player in the game gtes the win.

Tully Blanchard (c) w/Baby Doll vs Dusty Rhodes for the NWA World Television Chanpionship in a Steel Cage

Blanchard has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from the American Dream. One final Bionic Elbow and Dusty becomes champ.

TNA

They had a PPV. Slammiversary Seven. It was a momentus occasion, considering seven seems to be the celebratory number in TNA. Anyways, let’s review the results shall we?

Pre Show: the British Invasion def. Eric Young and Rhino

Who cared?

Suicide (c) def. ‘Paparazzi’ Alex Shelley, Randy Savage, Afro Thunder and Chris Sabin in a King of the Mountain match for the X Division Championship

Nice to see Kaz is still in the mask (Note: Suicide isn’t kaz, it’s this guy.

Daniels def. Shane Douglas for Daniels’ TNA roster spot

Money on it, that Douglas is on this week’s iMPACT.

Angelina Love (c) w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne def. Tara for the Knockouts Championship

“…All the things she said, running through my head…”

Abyss and Taylor Wilde def. Daffney and Raven w/Dr. Stevie in a Monster’s Ball Mixed tag match

Didn’t they have one of these like last month?

Rhino def. Team Canada (Bobby Roode and Coach D’Amore) in a Handicap match

This match happened at the 2006 edition of Slammiversary, thus not relevant to this particular PPV

Sting def. Matt Morgan for a spot in the Main Event Mafia

As if Morgan was going to win

Beer Money def. Team 3D (c) to win the TNA Tag Team Championship

Justice has been served, one half of AMW and one fifth? one sixth? of Team Canada reclaim the gold. Best Tag team in wrestling. BEER! MONEY!

Bob Backlund def. Alex Shelley

This is from 2007, who’s handing me these notes?

Kurt Angle def. Mick Foley (c), Jeff Jarrett, Gonorrhea, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Christian Cage, Alzheimer’s Disease, Samoa Joe, Chris Harris, Scott Steiner, Doink the Clown, the Rock, Lance Hoyt, Lo-Ki, heel CM Punk, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Vitali Klitschko, Vlade Divac, Chris Webber, Anfernee Hardway, Toby Keith, Christy Hemme, ABBA, Stephen Root, George Constanza, Trey Parker, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Syphillis, John C. Reilly, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Bill Guerin, Alzheimer’s Disease, the Triumvirate of TN-Awesomeness,  Nash Bridges, Cheech Marin, Tecmo Superbowl, Wario, Sidney Crosby, ThinkSoJoe’s ex-wife, Mick Foley’s book ‘the Hardcore Diaries’, a Bookshelf, AJ Styles, Air Paris, the 1973 Chicago Bears, Terry Bradshaw’s hairpiece, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, Chainsaw Charlie and Alzhe … I forget in a King of the Mountain match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

Need I say more … ?

That’s all for this week!