This is probably one of the most tiring weekends of my life. And not only that, Raw is during an Eagles game. We are coming to you delayed from Liverpool. For those of you who don’t mind me going into my life, I am a Liverpool FC fan. (YNWA)
We open up Raw with a really great exchange between Cena and Miz/Truth. Once fisticuffs started flying, Zack Ryder came out to his rescue.
We had Dolph Ziggler take on John Morrison as he continued his Future Endeavored Tour. Vickie looked really nice in her outfit. This was a pretty decent match. My wife was not happy over Morrison wearing a shirt. She also did not like the match. It went on too long and they weren’t really doing anything (according to her). What I thought was awesome was the crowd cheering for Ziggler. Morrison should have walked out with a Suarez jersey. Morrison snapped his losing streak. I was pleased with the match. It looked like they put some effort into it.
Then came the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan against JTG. I’m still more shocked JTG’s on Raw. It was a squash match. Even though I don’t like the guy they’re pushing, I gotta give them credit. They’re trying to make a star. The crowd had no reaction to him whatsoever.
We got a gratuitous “Wrestlemania Will Be Big” package. Then the Bellas supported Zack Ryder. I thought we were supposed to cheer him.
Then we got Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. These titles are so meaningless. I hate that it was the at the tag champ’s expense, but they made ADR look strong.
Then Punk came out. And ADR delivered the most scripted promo I’ve ever heard. He called ADR one-dimensional. About freakin’ time. And CM Punk wants the belt and to make the title interesting again. (Wow, did he really just say that?) I think the first hour was pretty good overall. The WWE “Creative” Team needs to come up with something else for Del Rio to say other than “This is my destiny.”
Then we watch the Muppets recap. Then we get the ridiculously stale Jack Swagger rematching against Santino Marella. Swagger won. Yawn.
Kelly Kelly is on the cover of Maxim. We all die a little on the inside. Please watchSHIMMER. They have real women’s wrestling. This segment was so awful. Kelly Kelly should never be given a microphone again.
Then we got Super Dave Osborne introducing Kevin Nash. Nash, for everything that’s wrong with him being an active part of the WWE product in 2011, is great on the mic. I still haven’t figured out where this is going.
Super Dave and David Otunga are courting or something. Then Otunga makes fun of Punk, Punk goes after him and then ADR attacks him.
Then we got the Cena/Ryder-Awesome Truth main events. I want to be mad for yet ANOTHER Raw with Cena as the main event. But can I be mad that we Zack Ryder in the main event? They turned this into a good match. Miz pinned John Cena. Yeah, I just typed that.
I will give this show credit. The first hour was very solid and I thought the main event did a great job of building Awesome Truth and Zack Ryder. Yeaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
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Hello everyone, and welcome to coverage of the longest running weekly e-Nevermind. I wanted to sound all epic, but the voice in my head was Cole’s, and now I need brain bleach. Oh, and if you are on Twitter, @Niki_Sushi is a liar. Just so you all know. *wink!*
Anyway, this is an exciting RAW (I hope!) because it’s the RAW after the Royal Rumble! Who outlasted thirty-nine other men to be the winner of the first ever Forty Man Royal Rumble match?! And who walked out of the Royal Rumble WWE Champion? All those answers, and more, to come right now!
Tonight, we will have another Champion vs Champion match between World Heavyweight Champion Edge and WWE Champion, The Miz!
We start out RAW with Ricardo Rodriguez announcing Alberto del Rio. I believe he says something about a mariachi performance in celebration of Alberto del Rio’s victory. And that’s what happens. Ricardo leads them to the ring. Wait, is the mariachi band playing Alberto’s theme song? That’s great.
Rio takes the mic, silences the mariachi band, and says that his name is Alberto del Riooooooo!… but you already know that. You people never, never listen. He told us that it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble, but we didn’t listen. That’s our problem. We never listen. (as the crowd yells What?) Tonight, we are going to celebrate Alberto del Rio. He’s going to headline Wrestlemania! Even if we don’t’ deserve it, because it’s a blue collar town, he hired the best mariachi in Mexico. This mariachi only plays for the Mexican president and Rio. This is not Justin Bieber’s music, this is real music. I concur. Anyway, he has something else really important to tell us: As the winner of the Royal Rumble, he can choose who he’s going to face at Wrestlemania: WWE Champion or the World Heavyweight Champion, and he has made his decision. And he’s going to tell us right now! The championship he will be going after at Wrestlemania will be the-
WWE Champion The Miz comes out, Alex Riley in toe.
Miz says before Alberto makes his decision, he wants to say congratulations. Him winning the biggest Royal Rumble in the history, is impressive. Almost as impressive as The Miz’s winning against Randy three times after winning Money in the Bank. He just hopes that Rio chooses to face him. Miz says make no mistake about it, he’ll be the WWE Champion by the time Wrestlemania comes around. He can’t say the same about Edge, because he’s going to lose it at the Elimination Chamber. Last night, Miz saw Edge celebrating. He told everyone who would listen that he was going to embarrass Rio at Wrestlemania and mocking his accent, and his tie. Edge even said that Rio’s cars are all rental. Miz says that if he doesn’t believe Miz, he can ask Riley. Riley said that he gives Rio his word: Edge said he has no respect for a second-rate JBL meets Tito Santana.
Rio takes the mic and says that he knows Miz, and to him, this is a ploy to make him choose Edge instead of Miz. Is Miz lying to him? Miz says really? Really? Really? Listen, he took out Edge’s little buddy Christian. Edge is threatened, doesn’t like, and doesn’t respect Rio. He just thought he’d tell Rio the truth about Edge, talking behind his back.
You think you know me…
As Edge gets in, he plays one of the mariachi trumpets, and the guy laughs.
Edge says Alberto, Miz is right. He’s absolutely right. He doesn’t like or respect Rio. But, he’s wrong about one thing. He wouldn’t say those things behind his back, he’d come out and say them to his face. See, Edge will be champion at Wrestlemania, and if Rio chooses to face him, he will beat him. He will because he’s the Rrrrrated R Superstarrrr. But, you already knew that, didn’t you?
Rio says that the only think he knows is that it is his destiny to be the greatest of the great and at Wrestlemania he will be the new World Heavyweight Champion. Edge says congratulations, and to take this with you. He then hits Rio, and looks at Miz, who leaves the ring with the mariachi, who are not going to lose their instruments. Rio comes back and kicks Edge before grabbing a guitar, which he then breaks on Edge’s back, before locking in the cross-arm breaker. Edge appears to be tapping, but there’s no ref, no match, and Alberto finally lets go.
Ha. The mariachi were playing his theme!! I’m like… 95% sure.
Coming up, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov will take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships.
@Niki_Sushi OKay. Del Rio dissed the Biebtard. He’s not as obnoxious in my mind now. #BWF #RAW
@JonHexLives I kind of want to see The Miz vs, Alberto Del Rio in a faux hawk throwdown. #WWE #RAW #BWF
@seraphalexiel Alberto will be pissed if Edge loses the belt at the Elimination Chamber…..
@CMPunkSays Del Rio: “You never listen!” Crowd: “WHAT?!” #CantMakeThisShitUp #WWE
@StrikerSays LOLOLOL, “Alberto Pendejo” sign! I like that they are in RI, so obviously the arena staff didn’t know what it meant, and didn’t confiscate.
“Tonight, for the first time ever, we’re going to have a RAW Rumble match. Seven Superstars will participate. T he winner of the RAW Rumble match, will go on to face the WWE Champion at the Elimination Chamber PPV. The remaining six will be in the Elimination Chamber itself. The participates in the RAW Rumble match are Randy Orton, CM Punk, John Morrison, R-Truth, Sheamus, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John Cena.”
WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina vs Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Marella and McGuillicutty start out, and Santino gets McGuillicutty on the ground before locking in a headlock on McGuillicutty, who runs him into the corner. Santino lets go, but McGuillicutty hits him with a couple of punches and a kick before being forced off by the ref. He then runs to jump on Santino, but Santino move sand tags in Kozlov. Kozlov powers McGuillicutty right into the corner, hitting him with some hard shoulders, before McGuillicutty goes after his knee then kicks him in the head. McGuillicutty keeps him on the ropes before tagging Harris in. Harris keeps him in the corner, then Kozlov pushes him off before Kozlov gets him down and goes for a cover, but Harris kicks out. Kozlov powers Harris over to his own corner and tags in Santino. Santino does something, but Harris shoves him across the ring and then kicks him. Harris then spends his time getting Santino up, and Santino tries to Whip him, but Husky counters, and meets Santino’s offense with a shoulder. Harris shoves Santino in the corner, tags in McGuillicutty, and then throws McGuillicutty into Santino, followed by Harris. McGuillicutty goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Something happens, but the replay is too big-there we go. McGuillicutty hits a neckbreaker and goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out at two. Santino is thrown out by McGuillicutty, and Tamina goes over to check on him.
@TKeep123 YES! Jerry The King Lawler…one more time in the Raw Rumble! …but how did R-Truth get on that list? #RAW #WWE #BWF
@CMPunkSays By the way, you are now imagining Jerry Lawler in the Elimination Chamber. #WWE
@HitTheRopes R-Truth? What the phuck? It doesn’t need to be an equal opportunity chamber! #wwe
@KeepItFiveStar R-TRUTH?! R-TRUTH!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE HASN’T WON A MATCH IN LIKE A MONTH!
@Niki_Sushi ‘Ruthless’ is glitterfied on McGillicutty’s ass. I can no longer take him seriously. #BWF #RAW
We come back to McGuillicutty trying to pin Santino for the cover. McGuillicutty has Santino in a headlock across the ring from Kozlov, and Santino fights to get to Kozlov, but McGuillicutty is trying to keep him back. They both get to their feet, but McGuillicutty hits a hard forearm on Santino. McGuillicutty tries to hit Kozlov, but Kozlov hits back, and Santino gets a hit on McGuillicutty. Harris and Kozlov are tagged in and Kozlov dominates Harris, going for a cover until McGuillicutty breaks it up. McGuillicutty this a missile dropkick and Santino tags himself in, sending McGuillicutty over the top rope. Santino then hits the Cobra on Harris and pins him for the win.
WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall.
After the match, Randy runs down the ramp out of nowhere and RKOs McGuillicutty and Harris for costing him the title last night. He looks up toward the ramp before walking around inside the ring and facing the ramp. Orton looks off to the side and takes a moment to glare at the crowd before looking at Harris’ unconscious body. He looks down at Harris and backs away, standing in the corner, watching Harris, setting up for the punt.
CM Punk, however, interrupts.
He tells Randy not to do that as he, Otunga, and Mason Ryan come out. Punk tells him again not to do it. Punk says that Orton doesn’t want to do this, nothing he wants to be a part of. It’s nothing he would do. Punk asks if he has to say please, and Randy look like he could care less if Punk says please. Punk says he’s not going to beg, but take some advice, for once in his life: Don’t do it. If Orton kicks Harris in the skull, there will be serious consequences and repercussions. Orton really doesn’t look like he cares, and Harris is teasing us about getting the fuck up. Randy stops, however, and looks back at Punk. He then moves out of that position, hangs his head, and looks back at Punk. He looks to the crowd, who cheers (sick bastards), and then back at Harris, and then the other side of the arena, then back at Punk. He smirks, laughs, drops it, and then drops back in the corner, punting Harris in the skull.
Punk, Otunga, and Ryan all take off after him, but Randy slithers on out, running through the crowd and up to the top, rather nicely silhouetted against the darkness there. There is a staring match between Punk and Orton now, as Orton’s music plays.
@TKeep123 Randy won’t cave to an implied threat from CM Punk! Don’t worry, Mulligans have HARD heads! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Why can’t Randy Orton just talk it out with people? It’s always RKOs with him
@CMPunkSays NOT Have you ever herped a derp so hard that you jobbed to the Cobra? #WWE
@ForrestFuller Why not punt Micheal Cole instead of Husky Harris #WWE #RAW #BWF
Ted DiBiase is joined by Maryse, still, and has a mic. This’ll be good.
Ted says that it doesn’t thrill him to say it, but King’s career is over. And his, his is just getting started. King doesn’t need any more opportunities. It’s time for guys like him to step aside for the future. So, why doesn’t he do the right thing, for the future, and give him his spot for tonight’s RAW Rumble? King takes off his headset and grabs a mic, but Cole snatches it. Cole says he’ll handle it. Cole then says that Ted is being disrespectful. Has Ted ever met King? He’s a legend, a Hall of Famer. He’s heard of the Showstopper, right? King is the Scene Stealer. There’s no way that he’s going to let his selfish, narcissistic ego take himself out of the match to give it to DiBiase. It won’t happen. King takes the mic and says he’s gonna tell both of them something: he’ snot giving his spot up in the RAW Rumble to anybody. His Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction. He’s been in the WWE 18 years, and he’s never been to Wrestlemania. And, as far as he’s concerned, his Road to Wrestlemania starts tonight, and if it wasn’t for Cole, he may be WWE Champion right now. He knows he can beat the Miz, and he’s gonna be in the RAW Rumble, and he’s gonna win it. Ted then hits King and moves with Maryse. King then follows Teddy, but Ted moves Maryse in front of him, preventing King from hitting Ted. Maryse, on the other hand, is not amused. Ted can’t think of a good enough excuse, so Maryse slaps him. Then, King punches Ted. Poor DiBiase’s having a bad night… And Cole now lectures King, and King says he’s about to shove his fist so far down Cole’s throat they’ll be afraid to remove it. He’s beginning to not care if he gets fired…
Later on tonight, The Miz will take on Edge!
@KeepItFiveStar Maryse with the Princess Peach slap then Jerry Lawler with the Falcon Punch! Ted DiBiase just got Melee’d!
@TKeep123 Love me some Maryse! Looking even HOTTER, if that’s possible!! #RAW #WWE #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Even R-Truth’s photo looks like he doesn’t belong in the RAW Rumble. It’s like “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Lawler, I guess. And REALLY??”
@kickoutblog FALCON PAAAWWWWNNNNNCH!
<VIDEO PACKAGE: 2.21.11 Something is coming up…. All we saw was a man in black walking up to a shack in the rain…>
United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs Tyson Kidd
The Bellas are talking, but I don’t’ care. Bryan and Kidd are fighting, Gail ringside, and Kidd gets a good early advantage. Does anyone remember when he had that big guy? Me neither. Kidd goes for a quick cover, but Bryan kicks out two. Kidd puts Bryan in a headlock, but Bryan shoves him off and does a lot of really fancy things. Bryan delivers some hard hits to Kidd, and the camera keeps going to the FUCKING BELLAS, Kidd does some stuff, Bryan tries to lock in the LaBell lock, does, and Kidd taps out.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via pinfall.
Gail hugs Bryan and joins him in his celebration before the Bellas climb into the ring. One of them hits Bryan, Gail shoves her, and insert the same freaking cat fight we’ve seen for too long already. It takes two refs holding the Bellas, and Bryan holding Gail to break it up.
Up next, The Miz and Edge will go one on one!
@CMPunkSays IT’S LIKE I’M REALLY WATCHING MEAN GIRLS #WWE
@Niki_Sushi I think Gail just ripped out some extensions and killed a bird. #BWF #RAW #justoneleft
@kickoutblog I already love 2.21.11, WWE hasn’t done anything like this since Jericho’s return.
@redsandman99 How can anyone blame Daniel Bryan for choosing Gail over the Bellas. I’d punt those bitches Orton style for her
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Last night, WWE Champion The Miz eliminated John Cena.>
I saw people in the front row with four signs spelling out AWESOME. Loved it.
WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge
Miz and Edge lock up, and shove one another away. Then they lock up again, and Edge locks Miz in a headlock, but Miz fights out and gets an elbow to the face, followed by one by the back of the head. Edge Whips Miz, but Miz counters and Edge counters with a neckbreaker. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Edge beats Miz into a corner and hits him a few times. The replay is starting to piss me off. Edge has an advantage over Miz, pulling him in a headlock between the ropes. Edge Whips Miz, who is pulled out of the ring by Riley. Edge grabs him, but Miz drops Edge’s shoulder onto the top rope. He pulls Edge out of the ring and sends him into the steel steps. Miz pulls Edge to his feet and throws him back in the ring, going for a cover. Edge kicks out at two. Miz plants his knee in Edge’s spine before twisting himself around Edge and putting his injured arm in a submission. Edge fights to his feet and punches Miz in the head, but Miz drops down, essentially giving Edge’s arm a stunner before going for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz then puts Edge’s shoulder through the ropes, and Riley punches Edge. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out, so Miz returns to a submission on Edge’s shoulder. Edge fights to his feet, and punches Miz a few times, but Miz puts his knee in Edge’s stomach. Edge returns the favor by putting his heel in Miz’ jaw. Edge then starts to do something, but Miz counters, dropping Edge to the mat, and returning to the submission on Edge’s shoulder. Edge fights to the bottom rope.
Space! Miz goes to hit Edge, but Edge fights back and tries to steal a victory, but Miz fights out. Edge and Miz meet, and then Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz sends Edge’s arm right back to the mat, then puts his knee in Edge’s shoulder and stretches the arm out. Edge fights out of it, and Whips Miz, but Miz kicks Edge, and then the two kick one another in the face. The ref begins his count. Miz is up to his feet, as is Edge at eight. Miz runs for Edge, but Edge drops him on his face. Edge then drops Miz again, and Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Edge kicks Miz in the stomach and then Whips him, but Miz counters,. Edge goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out, and then Miz kicks Edge in the face, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz gets on the apron and climbs up on the top rope, standing up and dropping down, only to get a boot to the stomach. Edge then drops Miz on his face. Edge backs up into the opposite corner, setting up for the Spear. Miz gets up to his feet, and Edge tries for the Spear, but Miz sends him into the post.
John Cena says that Miz can do it and says there’s a party, and that they’re just cheering for him. Miz starts to talk to him, and Cena gets the arena doing a Miz is Awful chant, before Edge Spears Miz.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
@CMPunkSays FALL IN A HOLE, CENA. A DEEP HOLE. A HOLE THAT REACHES THE EARTH’S CORE. #WWE
@bethsharae Stupid Cena…you got the chant wrong. It’s Miz is Awesome! #Raw
@kickoutblog Once again, the “good guys” cheat to win. Edge with an illegal move and Cena interfered! Should be a DQ win for Miz!
Stone Cold Steve Austin will return to WWE to host Tough Enough in April!
I’m feeling like this is a Smackdown invasion again…
Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that while Edge may have won tonight, but his chances of winning Friday are next to impossible. Friday, the World Heavyweight Championship will be defended in a way that it never has been before, so please join them. Whatever. Oh, hell, it’s our Surprise Champion!
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve and Natalya vs LayCool
Really, Natalya? I wouldn’t have tagged with her. Tell her to find someone else. Oh, wait, there is no one else… For the first time ever, I’m so sick of Eve and Natalya, I want LayCool to win.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Earlier today, LayCool decide that it was the ref’s fault about last night, and make up. Damn it.>
Natalya and McCool start out and Natalya goes for an early cover, followed by another, but McCool pulls out. Natalya keeps an advantage over McCool until McCool gets away and tags in Layla. Natalya walks toward Layla, who drops to the mat and curls up. Natalya touches her and she squirms. Natalya then picks her up and she gets onto her feet and pushes Natalya. Layla then runs over and attaches herself to McCool between the ropes, and turns around to get a kick from Natalya. Natalya suplexes her, and goes for the cover, but Layla kicks out. Natalya Whips Lay, and then Eve clotheslines her. Eve finally actually does something, and hits a handspring moonsault before going for a cover and Layla kicks out. Layla kicks Eve, and Eve runs her across the ring and onto the top turnbuckle. Natalya distracts the ref, and McCool kicks Eve. Layla hits the Face Lift off the turnbuckle and pins Eve for the win.
LayCool win via pinfall.
@TKeep123 Michelle’s boot seems to have knocked some accent BACK into Layla’s mouth! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Goddamn you, RAW. I don’t want LayCool. I just want Lay. Cool can go hang out with Cole and Del Rio in the corner. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog “Your big foot” = LOL
OH MAH GOODNESS! IT’S THE GIANT JOBBER SQUAD!
The Great Khali and Mark Henry vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso
Oh, well. No matter who wins, this is kind of humiliating… Josh Matthews has joined Michael Cole as King has gone to get ready for his match.
“As I see the Usos stand across the ring from the Great Khali and the WSM, let’s face it: they don’t have a chance. So, to give the Usos a more competitive advantage, I’ve decided to alter the contest, and these two teams will compete in a dance off. Each team will have the opportunity to strut their stuff, and you, the WWE Universe will have the chance to decide who is the winner. Gentlemen, let’s boogie, woogie, woogie.”
I hate. The. GM.
You know what? I started to review this. I don’t know why. But now, I have a headache. If the WWE Universe loves me, they will know that Khali and Henry can’t dance, and will accept that the Usos won. I hate this. I HATE THI-
That works. The Usos attack Khali and Henry, and then are met by a Punjabi Plunge and the World’s Strongest Slam, and Khali goes for a cover. Poor thing.
@StrikerSays Sorry Usos, apparently the Bellas are the only ones with “twin magic.”
@HitTheRopes Amazing that I was just defending Raw last night to someone who can’t stand WWE. Then we get a dance off. #LeSigh
@KeepItFiveStar When The Usos smiled you could tell they died on the inside
@FrankWWEClown I just threw up in my mouth watching Michael Cole dance. #WWE
@TKeep123 Mark Henry rocking the Bollywood Dance??? Kill me now. #RAW #WWE #BWF
@JonHexLives The Usos are straight jobbers now. #WWE #RAW #BWF
The Shack/rain/leather person promo for 2.21.11 plays again.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone.>
YAY RAW HATES ME!
RAW Rumble Match: Winner faces The Miz for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber, and the other Six will be in the RAW Elimination Chamber match.
When thrown over the top rope, and both feet touch the floor (MORRISON), you lose. I. Hate these kinds of things.
@seraphalexiel Kidnapping a wrestler’s loved one is apparently WWE films’ recipe for success
@kickoutblog What is WWE’s obsession with dancing? Just put Kozlov on Dancing With The Stars and be done with it.
@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!
@HitTheRopes JoMo and the ‘E would have been SO pissed if one of them fans got their hand in the way during that spot last night
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) John Morrison – Sheamus
2) Sheamus – King and John Cena
3) John Cena – King
4) CM Punk – Randy Orton
5) R-Truth – John Cena
6) Jerry “The King” Lawler – WINNER
7) Randy Orton – R-Truth
I can’t cover this very well, but I’ll give you the interesting stuff. JoMo and Sheamus give us pretty good one-on-one wrestling action, same as their matches, really. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse Backbreaker on JoMo and then freezes everything as Cena comes out.
Cena comes in, obviously furious about being eliminated last night and takes it out on Sheamus. Cena goes to hit an Attitude Adjustment, and Morrison manages to land on his feet instead of getting hit by it.
Punk gets in and immediately cleans house, taking on anyone and everyone who gets in his way. Punk and Morrison are clinging to the ropes like monkeys or something, but stay in.
Truth comes in and immediately takes on his “friend” Cena. What a shitty friend. I’m just saying. Truth and Morrison both nearly eliminate the other, but hang on, and Truth can’t get his black ass back in the ring. He finally does, nearly costing Sheamus his chance to beat the shit out of him.
Jerry runs out and Punk waited for him, and then King punches every-damn-body. Three of the four corners have people getting ready to be dumped out.
Punk runs out of the ring, under the bottom rope, when Randy hits the ring. Randy’s looking for him. And guesses where he is before getting into the ring, looking under the ring. He wants Punk. Orton grabs Punk’s ankle, yanks him out from under the ring and proceeds to beat the shit out of him. Punk gets into the ring and then Randy follows, and finally enters the RAW Rumble.
Punk was the first man eliminated, by Orton, followed right after by Orton, who was eliminated by Truth. Truth nearly got venom spit in his face.
@KeepItFiveStar That’s why R-Truth doesn’t deserved to be in the damn match. He almost got eliminated by the ropes. He probably thinks Parkour is a dance
@StrikerSays R-Truth doesn’t even RUN to the ring, he fucking SKIPS. He makes me want to punch unicorns.
@Niki_Sushi Sheamus has his hand ALL the way up John’s ass. Cole 2.0? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Orton takes out Punk…and R-truth takes out Orton! Tooth is a dead man! :} #RAW #WWE #BWF
Good news is, no one else was eliminated during the commercial. Bad news is, I literally just saw King’s hands all over Truth’s ass. Ew.
King and Morrison are working together to try to get rid of Truth, but he won’t budge. Cena grabs Truth and Morrison on his shoulders and goes to eliminate them both, but only manages to eliminate Truth. Morrison gets Cena on the apron, and the two duke it out, both teetering on the edge. Sheamus runs over and tries to clothesline them both, but they move, and Sheamus holds on, and JoMo starts slapping his damn hands. Sheamus is responsible for Cena getting back in the ring.
Morrison pulls another shit-tacular Parkour move and he hooks his ankles in the bottom rope and keeps himself fin the match. Goes to eliminate Sheamus, but Sheamus catapults himself right onto Morrison.
Cena puts Sheamus in an STF, and Sheamus taps. Like a tard.
Morrison hits Starship Pain, and literally only hits Cena with one arm. What the fuck.
King throws Morrison out, but he keeps himself in by touching the floor with his hands only.
Morrison is out courtesy of a Brogue Kick from Sheamus. Thanks, Sheamus.
Sheamus throws King into Cena and eliminates Cena, and then Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, only for Cena and King to move the rope so that Sheamus eliminates himself.
Sorry folks, this is Kiharu (@Niki_Sushi) typing at you, because TheMizMagnet is spitting flames at this end. So this is me saying good night, and thanks for reading this review! Tune in next week for…well, more RAW.
@TheMizMagnet JSODGIJRPOWIGJPOIFJ PDOI APOI OSIDJFPOEWI POI A LVKJDPOI EW OAIJFDA OWIEWR *ragequits*