Is there anyway to top the Bangles …

The best way I can even attempt to top the Bangles, is show you my favourite songs at the moment, through the magical power of random links.

Let’s party like it’s 1999.

TNA Sacrifice

Lethal Consequences and Eric Young def. MotorCity Machine Guns and Sheik Abdul Bashir

Apparently, this match was announced on the TNA website the day of, or the day before the PPV. Great idea TNA. Although, the MMG and Afro Thunder/Randy Savage have been chasing Suicide the past few weeks, trying to find out his identity. Speaking of Suicide, I sense another link coming on.

Monster’s Ball: Taylor Wilde def. Daffney w/Abyss

Taylor Wilde wins and Abyss chokeslams Dr. Stevie Richards onto thumbtacks. This was the first KnockOuts Monsters Ball and hopefully it is the last. The only possible way I would watch a match like this, is with a group of friends so we can all bag the crap out of a match like this.

Suicide def. Daniels after Daniels had already won, but wanted the match restarted because of MMG’s interference.

I’m serious. Daniels won, but because MMG interfered and he didnt want to win that way, he wanted to make things fair. Yeah and you lost Daniels. Your so good Daniels, that you won the match, but thought, you know what? We all know Suicide is a woman and it’s hard to be a woman, trust me I know. I can beat a woman fair and square cant I? Jeff Jarrett thought the same thing about Chyna, but the difference is, Chyna is a man, Suicide is not.

Angelina Love def. Awesome Kong to retain the KnockOuts Championship

Kong misses a move and Love sprays hair spray in Kong’s eyes and gets the pin. Your telling me that Kong dismantles Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky and one half of the Smokin’ Gunns, yet a simple can of hair spray is what stops her? She’s a behemoth and yet she’s as soft as a kitten. It’s not right. This is a mistake. Kong should be and always be an indestructible force that should only be stopped by some sort of gang hit or by numerous numbers.

Samoa Joe def. Kevin Nash

The broken down injury prone Outsider survived a match without getting injured. It’s a miracle. If only Waco, Texas had a miracle. One final thing about this match. You know Jenna Maresca/Marasca/Mascara/Mil Mascaras? Apparently, this is the song of how Big Kev met his Survivor.

BEER MONEY!!!! def. the British Invasion to win the Team 3D Tag Team tournament

Justice is almost served. Now all thats gotta happen is Beer Money regain the Tag titles and the world will be right again. Thats all I need to say about this, oh and this.

For the record, I have a coathanger.

AJ Styles def. Booker T to retain the Legends Championship

The cross dresser came and threw in the towel so Dokken T lost the match and the Dog-Faced Gremlin was in Dokken’s corner too. It’s true, she is! I Heard It Through The Grapevine.

TNA Heavyweight Championship: Sting def. Kurt Angle to become the leader of the Main Event Mafia. Mick Foley retains the TNA Championship.

You would think that I put a clip of Creed’s ‘My Sacrifice’ here, well maybe I did, you just gotta click the link to find out. By the way, who didnt see the result of the Main Event a mile away. Raise your hands all those who didnt know? FOOLS!!! All of you. Thinking that the result would go any other way? Sure, I probably said something else in my last column, but I knew that Sting was gonna beat Angle. It was the only POINTLESS result, which is why they went with it. It is TNA we’re talking about.

WWE

One thing of mention. Coach interviewing Vince on ESPNews. Vince had a good chuckle I believe.

Thats it, another Wednesday, another column. Last thing, Trojans are Australia’s Best Selling Condom. It adds a whole new meaning to the ‘Trojan Horse’ now doesnt it? Just who put all those Trojans in that horse?