RAW 6.28.10

Hey everybody!  Sorry about the lack of a RAW review last week.  I had some computer troubles.  But, I have a new laptop now, and I’m back in business.  For more frequent updates as to why I’m not doing what I’m supposed to, make sure you follow me on Twitter: @TheMizMagnet.  This week, Rob Zombie hosts!!  Not only that, but what are the consequences supposed to be for the NXT Rookies attacking Mr. McMahon?  What about this new GM?  Who the hell is he… or she?!

Last Monday, the NXT Rookies surrounded Referee!Vince in the ring and then violently/brutally, whatever you wanna call it, attacked him, leaving him motionless in the ring as they all stood over him.

We start off RAW with no theme music.  We’re told that we know nothing so far about Vince’s condition, but we’ll be updated if anything new is discovered tonight.  Also, the NXT Season One Rookies want to be called Nexus, and Wade Barrett is at WWE HQ to plead his case and what not.  The new anonymous General Manager says that the Nexus’ actions would be met with the appropriate consequences.

It’s a shame that they lost their heads, a careless man who could wind up dead...

Sheamus comes out to the ring and says that he watched the footage of Nexus beating Vince several times and he has to say he’s disgusted.  He’s disgusted about what went down. So, as the WWE Champion, he felt it was his responsibility to make a statement on behalf of the company: the champ is here.  Even though the Nexus lads got involved in his match, eveyone knows he would have beaten Cena regardless, and he would have proved he’s worthy of the Championship.  He knows it’s unfortunate when it happens, but one important thing came out of it: Cena’s not the #1 Contender for the belt, and why? because he used his rematch clause. It means that he no longer has to look at the tacky orange t-shrits, no longer does he have to listen to the never-give-up slogans, and no longer does he have to listen to the WWE Universe chant “Cena” every week like parrots.  No longer does he have to listen to Cena make fun of his beautiful Irish skin by calling him a human jar of mayo. He hates Cena. Cena can get to the back of the queue, like everyone else, because he’s through and he’s never gonna get a shot at Sheamus’ gold ever again.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHABADOO!!!!

Cena makes his way to the ring and just stands there for a couple minutes, grinning and listening to the crowd.  Sheamus asks him what he’s doing there, and says that he’s not going to get another shot at him or his belt again.  Cena says that he knows and he didn’t come out there for that.  He came out here to ask for help.  Everybody here saw how Sheamus won the Championship, everyone saw how he kept it. It’s the group calling themselves Nexus. They made a target out of him because he was the WWE Champion, and they’re coming after the human jar of Mayo, Philly’s own giant block of cream cheese, the WWE Champion, Sheamus. Cena says he’s gonna cut to thee chase: They don’t like each other. Sheamus is tough as nails and can fight.  Wanna keep the championship? His career? Then help Cena right now.  They are going to start off RAW the way they should, for one night only, they fight, side by side, right now because Cena’s calling out Nexus, and they’re gonna start off RAW with a brawl.

However, an email sound comes on and Michael Cole stands up and says that he has an email.  He’s like the new AOL guy: Welcome. I’ve got mail!  Anyway, the email says, and Cole quotes (though I don’t, because that was a lot to type at once with Cole’s voice giving me a migraine), “I’ll wait until next week to take action agaisnt Nexus. I will allow spokesman Barrett time to present his case to WWE Officials. However, as far as tonight is concerned, if any membner of that group makes any contact with any WWE Superstar, they will be terminated.  However, if any WWE Superstar initiates contact, they will be suspended.”

Cena thanks the anonymous General Manager.  He says that it’s not a total loss, because they’ve learned something about Sheamus. He’s not just pale skin, and he’s a good dude.  Honestly, he’s a pretty good guy.  Sheamus was thinking to himself that they should have started RAW with a brawl, but, since they can’t, they’re thinking that they should start of RAW with a WWE Championship match!

The email sound comes again and Cole repeats that he has an email.  None of us are, apparently, intelligent enough to know what that sound means.  This email says that the WWE Championship, Sheamus will be in action tonight, but it’ll be against Mark Henry.

Cena explodes here (metaphorically speaking.  Sorry to disappoint some of you).  He claims his life is being ruined by the internet, and he hasn’t freaked out this bad since his mom cancelled his Warcraft subscription.  He says that the GM should email him directly… at… candypants264@gmail.org.  He goes on, but Cole has to tell us he has an email, so I missed it.  The email says that in three weeks, there is a new PayPerView called Money in the Bank, where the winner will receive a contract for a WWE Title match that they can cash in at any time.  You know, the same stipulations participants get at Wrestlemania.  He says that the eight participants for the RAW match will be revealed later tonight, and he would like to demonstrate.  Sheamus says the General Manager can demonstrate all he wants, because Shemaus has wasted enough of his time there and he’s out of there.  In the ring, the cage starts to lower.  The email goes on and says that since last week’s title match ended inconclusively, Sheamus will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage match.

<COMMERCIAL>

Six Person Tag Match: The Unified Tag Team Champions David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd with Natalya vs

As the Hart Dynasty comes out to the ring, the Usos come out and lay the Hart Dynasty out.  They start to go back up the ramp, but Tamina runs down and throws Natalya in the ring, hitting her with the Superfly Splash.

Backstage, Josh Matthews asks R-Truth what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus.  Truth says that they’re behaving like wild, untamed animals.  He says not to fire them because that’s too easy.  He tells Josh to leave them there at the WWE Zoo, where he’s the zookeeper.  And that’s the Truth.

<COMMERCIAL>

Vladimir Kozlov vs Santino Marella – If Santino wins, then Vladimir will be Santion’s tag partner

Vladimir is already in the ring, and this match is pretty quick as we move through Santino entering the ring.  Santino goes for a lot of moves, Kozlov just brushes him off, blah blah blah, Kozlov ends up pinning Santino.

Vladimir Kozlov Wins!

Kozlov seems to be amused as he keeps helping Santino up only for him to fall back down.  He starts to head up the ramp when William Regal comes out, shakes Kozlov’s hand, and then runs into the ring and attacks Santino.  Kozlov goes back into the ring and attacks Regal.  Then, he carries Santino right out of the ring and up the ramp.

Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews The Great Khali, asking him what actions he thinks should be taken against Nexus.  Khali says something, but Ranjin Singh just says that Khali says that he’s a big, stupid giant and his manager is really tired of protecting him.  If Nexus were to come up right now, Khali would run.

<COMMERCIAL>

Tomorrow night, the second season of NXT gets their first votes!!

Tonight’s guest host is a five-time Grammy nominated musician, a screen writer, a producer, and actor, he’s Rob Zombie!  He’s also the anniversary guest host, so to speak, for this is one year to the week of the first Guest Host!  Rob Zombie says he’s there because he loves sick and twisted things, like the sick and twisted things that go on in the ring, like Money in the Bank.  He’s there to announce the Money in the Bank Ladder Match participants for RAW: Randy Orton, The United States Champion, The Miz, R-Truth, Chris Jericho, Evan Bounre, Ted DiBiase, John Morrison and… this guy.

Edge shows up on the TitanTron and says that he hasn’t talked to Rob Zombie since he dumped his entrace theme.  Rob Zombie says that he wants to set the record straight.  He took his song back because he couldnt’ stand to have Edge destroy it.  He starts to leave the ring and Edge asks him if that’s it.  Did he scare away the horror director, the astro-creep? All that matters is that he won the first ever MitB, and cashed it in on Cena and won his first WWE Championship. Don’t we remember that? Why doesn’t he remind us?

<Video Package: WrestleMania 21, 2005: Edge wins Money in the Bank. 10 Months Later, Revolution 2006: Edge comes out to cash in Money in the Bank & wins WWE Championship against Cena>

Yeah, Edge did that. He did it and he had so much fun doing it, that he did it years later against the Undertaker. That’s what he was talking about last week when he speared Orton and said now the fun begins because Edge owns Money in the Bank. And he’s gonna show everyone just how twisted he can be ’cause you wanna know what happens when a Viper runs into a guy with a 20 foot ladder? The Viper gets his head crushed before he can strike. And Edge is going to do that to every other participant in that match, and at the end of the match, they will all be staring up at him.

The infamous email sound comes up and Cole says that tonight’s main event will feature all eight Money in the Bank participants in an Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!  Edge, The United States Champion, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, and Chris Jericho will face Evan Bourne, John Morrison, R-Truth, and Randy Orton.

Next: Mark Henry v Sheamus

<COMMERCIAL>

WWE Champion Sheamus vs Mark Henry

Mark Henry comes out with his rookie, Lucky Cannon, who goes backstage right after.  The match starts with Sheamus gaining control until Henry shoves him.  Sheamus and Henry exchange hits (if you wanna call it that), and Sheamus hits Henry with a DDT.  He goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out a two.  Sheamus drops his knee on Henry’s face, and then hits his chest a few times before going for another cover.  Henry kicks out at two again.  Sheamus gets Henry in a headlock, but then gets backed into a corner.  As usual, Sheamus goes for Henry’s knee and tries to take him down with clotheslines before Henry hits one.  Henry hits a splash a minute later, and goes for a cover, but Sheamus gets his foot on the rope.  Henry gets up, and Sheamus hits him with whatever his boot move is called, and then covers Henry for the win.

Sheamus wins!

Josh Matthews is now backstage with Nexus.  He asks for their reactions to the General Manager’s ruling.  Tarver says it goes both ways.  They can be fired for attacking a Superstar, but the Superstars will be suspended if they attack Nexus.  Besides, Nexus can still make an impact.  To prove this point, Skip Sheffield seems to think it’ll be sufficient to knock out some tech guy who probably pissed his pants as soon as Sheffield looked at him.  Darren Young says that’s what they mean, and Nexus laughs.

Still to come, our Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

<COMMERCIAL>

“Money” by I Fight Dragons is the official Money in the Bank theme!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that tomorrow, a new DVD will be out.  Before he says who the DVD is about, he wants to show us something.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Life of Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat”>

Ricky Steamboat comes out, and Jerry says that a few more guys in the back want to say something.  Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko, Mike Rotunda, and Micheal P.S. Hays come out to honor his career.  They all say some really graet things about Ricky.  When Steamboat goes to speak, the Nexus theme hits and they all come out.  They surround the ring and then start to take out the legends in the ring one by one until it’s just them and Steamboat in the ring.  Steamboat manages to put up a pretty good fight for about thirty seconds before Nexus overpowers him, and we see the same crap we’ve seen for what seems like forever now.

<COMMERCIAL>

Reminder!  Nexus just attacked the legends!  Another reminder!  The Superstars can’t attack Nexus or they’ll be suspended, which is why no one helped the legends!  Realization: With Jerry gone, we now have to listen to Michael Cole scream “VINTAGE” and wet himself all night… Joygasm.

<COMMERCIAL>

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox & Maryse vs Gail Kim and Eve Torres

Lucky for me, if you wanna put it that way, Michael Cole is joined by Josh Matthews.  Anyway, Alicia and Eve start, some hits are exchanged, blah blah blah…  I got really distracted by whatever Alicia was wearing, so all I know is that eventually, Gail came in and was doing pretty good, but something happened and Alicia hit an axe kick on Gail and won it for her and Maryse.

Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox and Maryse win!

Next up is the Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match!

<COMMERCIAL>

Reminder!  Last week, Nexus attacked Vince!  Reminder!! About fifteen to thirty minutes ago, they attacked WWE Hall of Famers!  Next week our slacker GM will determine the fate of Nexus.

Eight Man Tag Team Mega Match
The Rated R Superstar Edge, Chris Jericho, The United States Champion The Miz, and Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

Just because I’m having a moment and I don’t want this to go straight to the commercial thing, I’m going to have some theme song fun!!

You think you know me…

Break the walls down!!

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe!

*Airplane noises*

I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

<COMMERCIAL>

DiBiase and Morrison start it off.  DiBiase gets Morrison into the corner and Irish Whips him, but Morrison counters and throws DiBiase down.  He gets DiBiase into a headlock and then moves to his corner, tagging in Truth.

Truth slaps DiBiase, who returns it witha  punch. Truth then throws DiBiase over the top rope and tags in Bourne, who jumps off the apron and right into DiBiase before throwing him back into the ring.  A few hard kicks get DiBiase off his feet.  Bourne goes for a cover, but DiBiase kicks out at two and tags in Miz.

Miz gets flipped by Bourne almost immediately, and Bourne goes for a cover only for Miz to kick out at two.  He punches Bourne and hits an Irish Whip, only to get hit by a kick to the face.  Bourne slams into Miz and goes for the cover again, only for Miz to kick out at two.  Bourne throws Miz across the ring and runs at him, only to get Miz’ shoulder in his face.  Jericho distracts the ref as DiBiase hits Bourne.  Miz tags in Jericho.

Jericho kicks Bounre and then drops him into the bottom rope, hitting a baseball slide to kick him out of the ring next.  Edge drops down and hits Bourne while Jericho distracts the ref, and then Jericho goes out to throw Bourne back in.  Jericho mocks Bounre before he pulls Bourne to the heel corner and tags Miz back in.

Miz stomps on Bourne a few times before putting his knee in Bourne’s spine.  He then plants his knee in Bourne’s spine, lifting Bourne’s head, before slipping into a headlock.  Bourne fights out and Miz goes for a suplex, but is kneed to the head by Bourne, who tags Morrison back in.

Morrison hits Miz with two clothesline, then Irish Whips him to a corner, hits a flying chuck, and sets up Starship Pain only for DiBiase to pull Miz out.  Morrison jumps over the top rope and takes both out.  He goes to throw Miz back in, but Jericho distracts the ref and Edge attacks Morrison.

<COMMERCIAL>

During the break, Jericho rammed Morrison with a ladder and then feigned injury.  Jericho and Morrison are still in the ring, but Morrison falls out of the ring after taking some blows from DiBiase.  Jericho brings Morrison into the ring, and Morrison manages to cover Chris, who kicks out at two and in turn, covers Morrison.  Morrison kicks out at two, and Jericho tags Edge in.

Edge knees Morrison in the gut, and Morrison fights back, hitting Edge a few times.  Edge hits a drop toe-hold on Morrison, and holds onto Morrison’s ankle, pulling him back into the heel corner.  Morrison starts to fight back, and Edge tags in DiBiase.

DiBiase hammers away on Morrison as soon as he gets in.  When Morrison tries to get some momentum, DiBiase hits him with a scoop slam, locking a headlock on Morrison after.  DiBiase then tags in Edge.

Edge flings Morrison into the corner, and Morrison kicks Edge only to get a big boot to the face.  He goes into a corner and prepares for the Spear, but Morrison gets out of the way.  Edge pulls Morrison back, and Morrison manages to hit an insagiri on the back of Edge’s head.  Both are down before Edge tags in Jericho, and Morrison tags in Bourne.

Bourne hits a hurricanrana, then a missile dropkick, countering Jericho’s Irish Whip and hitting Jericho with some high kicks.  He goes for a cover on Jericho, but Jericho kicks out at two.  Bourne goes to the top rope, and Jericho is right behind him, hitting him.  Jericho attempts a suplex, but Bourne gets his knee in Jericho’s face and pushes him down.  Bourne goes for Air Bourne and misses it, instead hit with the Codebreaker.  Jericho ends up having to tag in DiBiase as Bourne tags in Randy.  Orton hits the RKO as soon as DiBiase is close enough.

Randy Orton, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and R-Truth win

After the match, Edge runs back into the ring and attacks Randy from behind.  He also brings in a ladder.  Truth goes in to help or something, but is hit by a ladder as well.  John Morrison and Evan Bourne kick the ladder, sending Edge flying backward.  Jericho attempts a Codebreaker or something, but Evan knocks him out of the ring.  Morrison helps Bourne onto the top rope, where he flies right into Jericho.  Meanwhile, Miz takes out Morrison back in the ring with a Skull Crushing Finale.  With the ring cleared, he sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, starting a slow climb up it.  Before he can grab the briefcase, Randy comes in and pushes it over, sending Miz right into the ropes.  Randy then sets the ladder back up, climbing it and taking the briefcase for himself.

Overall Thoughts: Not too bad a show, though I don’t care what Nexus has planned anymore as long as they stay off my screen with it.  Seriously, I’d rather watch Mark Henry try to rap again than anything else they have to do.