Tag Archive: Hippo

  1. Raw Is Three Hours 4-23-12

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    We begin with the contract signing being set up. John Cena comes out talking to his favorite cameraman, and then Johnny Ace breaks up Brock’s music to tell Teddy Long that Brock isn’t in the building yet. Then Edge comes to the ring much to the enjoyment of the fans. Then Edge cuts the promo we’ve all been waiting for. That got the crowd chanting “Cena, Cena, Cena.” Every wrestler should have been huddled around the monitor watching it. That’s how it’s done.

    We get Jericho in all his glittery sparkliness. And then we got Kofi in all his Enhancement Talent to the Stars glory. Kofi was great. Dolph is the most under-appreciated wrestler in the WWE. But I think Kofi Kingston has to be the most under-appreciated babyface. This was a great match. I don’t use the word “great” very often, but this was everything you would think it could be.

    Johnny Ace names Eve something that gives her more dialogue. Ugh.

    They replayed the really excellent Brock promo. I fast-forwarded. I’m pretty sure he’s still an a**wipe.

    Jericho got CM Punk a liquor basket. Predictable.

    We got more R-Truth. May I say that R-Truth has quickly become my guilty pleasure in wrestling? He is going to fight The Sultan outfit, who is now being portrayed by the Hip Hop Hippo, Albert. I think they’re trying with Lord Tensai so I should give them credit. R-Truth got in some offense so it wasn’t a total squash. He did the green mist, which means I’m going to hear every “smart” wrestling fan argue that Albert stole that from Tajiri (when we all know he stole that from MsChif).

    Kane walks out wearing El Zorro’s mask. He cut the decent promo he always cuts. Then Randy Orton interrupts to show he has Kane’s father Paul Bearer bound and gagged in the back. He shoves him into a freezer. This is the second time he will be killed on tv. The two beat the living crap out of each other.

    Alex Riley tells Jericho that CM Punk is drinking alcohol in the back. Jericho follows him to crack open the door and sure enough, Punk is drinking from a Red Solo Cup. Jericho, I think you just looked like 1990 Sting.

    Alberto del Rio comes out to the best ring entrance in the WWE. He is teaming up with Cody Rhodes, I guess, because they both exist. And they are wrestling Big Show and Great Khali for the same reason. I think I need to say I am enjoying this phase of the Big Show’s career. Nothing will ever beat 1996 The Giant in my eyes, but I think the evolution of the Big Show is night and day. I think this was quite possibly the best match these 4 could have had.

    And just as I feared. They gave Eve dialogue. Punk can be suspended because he drank in a 12-hour period. I cannot even begin to describe how ridiculously insulting this is to my intelligence.

    Brock Lesnar annihilates Josh Matthews.

    We’re supposed to have Beth Phoenix vs. a Bella. And because the divas do nothing, they make it a Lumberjill match. It was actually not a bad match. They gave the women some time and they used it well. The Bella won.

    We got to watch CM Punk take a field sobriety test. It was everything you’d expect. According to the cop in the ring, Punk failed the sobriety test. Then Punk had to give the belt to Punk to give to Teddy. And then Punk recited the alphabet live. We even got a Ric Flair strut. Not my favorite thing but I will live.

    Sheamus got Mark Henry. And Daniel Bryan was named special guest referee. The crowd is going rather nuts for him. It was a short match with Sheamus being pinned by Mark Henry with a (lightning) fast count. This night has been GREAT build-up for Extreme Rules.

    Primo and Epico are wrestling Zack Ryder and Santino because they exist too. This was another pretty good match. Ryder and Santino won. So I guess tag champ makes you first jobber.

    Kane takes Paul Bearer out of the freezer to put him back in. So now he can kill him just like his brother did.

    Abraham Washington gives his card to the Latino 3.

    Funkasaurus and Hornswoggle took on Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. It wasn’t a bad match.

    Then there was the contract signing which went on forever.

    A really good Raw again. Work was first-rate. Matches seemed a little fresh.

  2. Raw is Post-Wrestlemania 4-2-2012

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    The night after Wrestlemania. The debut of Mankind, Brock Lesnar. The season premiere that will begin the story that will climax at Wrestlemania 29. It begins tonight.

    Johnny Ace begins begins with a new era. He sets up a match for Santino vs. Ziggler vs. Swagger. Punk smarts off to him and heckles Ace. Ace puts him in a match against Mark Henry. The new theme in his era is Power People.

    Rock came out. The crowd was electric chanting “Boots to Asses” & “You still have it.” Rock came out and did his thing. It was everything it needed to be.

    The first match was Ziggler vs. Swagger vs. Santino. This match was just kind of there for me. But Santino beat both. As Swagger and Ziggler beat on Santino after the match, Santino ran up the ramp and was saved by Brodus Clay. Ziggler charged Brodus Clay and took a crazy bump on the ramp. Ziggler is the most underrated wrestler in the business.

    We had the debut of Lord Tensai. The crowd chanted A-Train at the top of their lungs. I was hoping they would chant “Hip Hop Hippo.” Alex Riley began his Future Endeavored Tour. I liked the debut of the Tensai character. And of course, Larry Stanley died when he saw “The Claw.” It reminded me of a early 90’s monster. Let’s see where they go with him.

    So Punk-Henry was not the same match he had with Daniel Bryan. It was as good a match as Mark Henry is capable of having. This was such a good match. Both guys really brought it. It ended in a countout. I love the booking as this sets up Mark Henry as credible again. Jericho comes out of the crowd and says that after that beating, he and Punk need a drink. What happened to them has to be seen to be believed.

    Sheamus came out to celebrate and then Alberto del Rio’s music hit. Ricardo Rodriguez started up and the crowd went nuts. For Daniel Bryan. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio delivered their lines and went through their motions all the while ignoring that the crowd was cheering someone else. Rock, Austin, Foley, Flair, Piper, those men would have never let a crowd get away with that.

    We came back to get Cody vs. Kofi. Big Show came out to show Cody losing. I thought the story they told was very entertaining. Kofi got a nice win.

    Abraham Washington gave Mark Henry his card. I’m not sure it was him or Teddy Long in a timewarp.

    Eve cut a promo that was not horrible.

    The main event was Miz vs. Ryder.

    John Cena came out cut a promo on The Rock. The crowd was chanting for Lesnar at the top of their lungs. And then they got him. F5 on John Cena.

    I have been watching Raw for the past year pretty much consecutively. This has been the best Raw in ages. 90% of that was the crowd. But the work was great. Lesnar coming back was perhaps one of the most electric things I’ve ever seen.

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