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RAW 2.7.11

February 8, 2011 3:07 pm 2 Comments

Hello everyone! I know RAW is a little late today, but last night was full of internet frustrations and homework. So, that’s why it’s up now, and that’s why it’s shorter than usual. As you can see, I did still track Tweets for this review, so, yeah. Here we go!

Look busy! The boss is comin’!

I actually missed having the opportunity to say that. I missed Mr. McMahon. He comes out onto the stage and says that now that the SuperBowl is over, there’s one thing left that supersedes the SuperBowl, that has more grandeur, more excitement- Wrestlemania! Each year, something special separates one Wrestlemania from all the others. Next week, we’ll be introduced to a man who embodies that. No one has hosted an event in front of 75,000 people before, not at the Grammys or anywhere else! Next week, we’ll meet the guest host for Wrestlemania 27!

I hear voices in my head…

As Randy makes his way down to the ring, Vince heads out.

Randy comes out and says that if Punk thinks they’re even, he’s delusional. Orton is only JUST getting started, and it’s going to cost Punk a helluva lot more than just Harris. He starts to go on, but Punk interrupts. Punk sits on the stage and says he’s surprised they agree: it’s not over by a long shot. And, because he knows Randy is dying to know, Punk tells us the reason he cost Randy Orton the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble:

Punk says that now Randy knows why. Randy really doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and that night, CM Punk had to forfeit the title. Punk hasn’t forgotten and has waited this long. The difference between their actions is that Punk’s are defensible. As long as they’re on the same show, Punk vows that Randy Orton with never be WWE Champion again. Punk says that he’s not going to wait until the Elimination Chamber; he’s going to eliminate Randy Orton right now.

The New Nexus comes to the ring and attacks Orton, who fights back for a while before the numbers game becomes too much. Punk gets in Randy’s face, and Randy manages to get a good solid hit on Punk’s nose. So solid, in fact, that Punk starts pouring blood. Nexus gets Orton still, however, and lifts him up on Punk’s shoulders, and Punk hits the Go to Sleep.

@seraphalexiel Strangely enough, it looks like if Mason Ryan, Otunga, and Mike McGuillicutty all went to school with Punk, they’d bully the shit out of him

@ThingsColeSays Punk is bleeding! Stop the segment!

@Niki_Sushi Punk should be thanking Randy. He’s the one that was breathing Hasky’s ass at the Rumble. #BWF #RAW

@Rack_Flair Vince got out of a coma yesterday to catch the Superbowl #wwe #raw

@TKeep123 Vince McMahon out to save the #RAW ratings…….and hype #WrestleMania !!!! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@CMPunkSays In case you wonder what I think of Punk’s tactic of making #WWE’s top faces look like total pricks… I FUCKING LOVE IT.

@JonHexLives Wow. CM Punk has legit beef with Randy Orton. That’s hilarious. #WWE #RAW #BWF

During the commercial, we learn that the RAW General Manager has put the members of the New Nexus in action against each of the members of RAW’s Elimination Chamber match, which will come to a head tonight when John Cena faces off against CM Punk.

Mason Ryan vs R-Truth

Truth comes out and says Green Bay, Wisconsin instead of Milwaukee, and the Milwaukee crowd lets him know that he fucked it up, via a Milwaukee chant. Ryan basically latches onto a knee and starts targeting that before be puts Truth in a submission that Truth taps out of rather quickly.

Mason Ryan wins via submission.

However, after the match, Mason Ryan doesn’t let go right away. He continues to hold it, and then gets out to grab a chair. The ref stops him, so Ryan just puts him back in the submission. However, the ref has seen enough, and reverses his decision.

R-Truth wins via disqualification.

Later on tonight, John Cena will take on CM Punk, and the WWE Champion The Miz wants to say a congratulations to the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber, Jerry “The King” Lawler!

@ThingsColeSays BLACKEYEDPEASSUCKEDLASTNIGHT WHAT’S UP? RIPMYHEADOFF STAND UP AND SAY WHAT’S UP. WHAT’S UP? WHAT’S UP?

@HitTheRopes I’m going to have FAITH and hope that Mason Ryan destroys R-Truth as much as Truth destroys the English language. #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar LMAO!! MILWAUKEE IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVORITE CROWD! What a mistake by R-Truth! How dare he hurt that crowd’s feelings

@CMPunkSays Holy crap, that’s a BROCK LOCK! #WWE

@kickoutblog Oh R-Truth, you can’t screw the cheap city pop, especially when it’s Milwaukee, which is an Indian word meaning “The Good Land.”

@TKeep123 Mason Ryan needs an “I am NOT Batista” t-shirt ! #RAW #WWE #BWF

Punk, Otunga, and McGuillicutty are backstage, and Punk is pacing, holding a towel up to his bloodied nose. Mason Ryan joins them backstage and Punk looks upset before he gives Ryan a ‘Well done’. He says that tonight, he doesn’t care if they win or if they lose, so long as they hurt people. He wants all of his Elimination Chamber opponents hurt so that he can have the advantage. R-Truth and Randy Orton are already hurt. Ryan says something in Arabic before saying two down, three to go. Otunga worries about taking out Sheamus, but Punk says that he always has a plan.

WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Tamina vs Melina, Nikki, and Brie Bella

Natalya’s ringside for commentary, and says that next week, she’s going to get her rematch against Eve for the Diva’s Championship. Her constant bickering with Cole was more annoying than anything else. As for the action in the ring, the early momentum went to Melina and the Bellas, but Tamina cleaned house of the Bellas and Eve pinned Melina for the win.

WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres, Gail Kim, and Tamina win via pinfall.

@TKeep123 Gail Kim in a match? Hell must be freezing over…. #RAW #WWE #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Also this is Gail Kim’s third consecutive week on RAW. Tamina – 4. Bare feet- 39. And Eve is still a dude.

@Niki_Sushi Damn it all. Tonight can only get worse if Daniel shows up. #BWF #RAW #knockonwood

@WWE_Creative Thanks @NatbyNature for burying Just For Men while mocking MIchael Cole. It’s not like they’re our SPONSOR or anything. #RAWTonight

@JonHexLives Is that white gold, Michael Cole? #Divaschampionship #WWE #RAW #BWF

John Morrison makes his way to the ring.

@dasharpshooters When WWE uses a Johnny Cash song in their video, you know its serious. 2-21-11 is gonna be huge. #wwe #raw

@kickoutblog I predict we’ll see that Elimination Chamber hype vid about 437 times between now and Feb. 20

@TKeep123 Ain’t No Grave “Gonna Hold This Body Down” by Johnny Cash … nice touch to the #WWE 2-21-11 promo… #RAW #WWE #BWF

John Morrison vs Michael McGuillicutty

McGuillicutty tries to send his focus to Morrison’s arm, holding it out of the ring and about to crush it between the ring and the steel steps, but Morrison moves it out of the way before he can. Morrison picks up the pace of the match, and McGuillicutty literally walks right into a flash kick. Morrison hits Starship Pain (and doesn’t miss it this time) for the win.

John Morrison wins via pinfall.

It starts to look like Morrison’s going to be uninjured, but Punk comes down as Morrison is celebrating and pulls a Maryse, spraying Mickie Morrison in the face with something before kicking him in the head.

@Niki_Sushi Did Punk just pull a Maryse there?! #BWF #RAW

@CMPunkSays HA HA NOW YOU’RE BLIND #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar OH NO! ANTI-PARKOUR SPRAY! Damn you Punk!

@lovehateRIOT i’m pretty sure that punk just used jomo’s own hairspray on him. rofl #raw

AWESOME!

Miz comes out with Alex Riley in tow. He says that as he watched the RAW Rumble last week, one thought was going through his mind: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! He says he was pulling for King the whole time. He asks King to join him in the ring and tells Riley to get out so that King doesn’t feel uncomfortable. King enters the ring, and Miz asks if King has any idea why he was rooting for him. King says that he figures it’s because Miz thinks he’s the weakest. Miz says that’s not it at all, and he could have beaten anyone who won the RAW Rumble for the WWE Championship. No, the reason he was rooting for King is because he feels that they’re mirror images of one another. King had the biggest mouth and the power to incite riots with just his words. People would listen when King spoke. Miz says that, in a way, he patterned his career after King’s, and now everyone’s wondering what he will do next. King says that first of all, they aren’t mirror images of one another and says something about how he wouldn’t want to look in the mirror every morning and see his haircut like Miz’s. He then says that he’s always had a big mouth, but he can back it up. He says that if Miz thinks he’s a modern King, he doesn’t know King as well as he thinks he does, and that King didn’t pattern his career after anyone: He’s an original. Miz then calls him an original cheap shot artist.

Miz says that that was equivalent to a sucker punch. King says that he thinks that Miz is a sucker, and that he speaks for the entire WWE Universe, both in Milwaukee and all over, when he says the Miz sucks (oh, but I disagree, sir!). King says that Miz is right: he’s never been WWE Champion or been to Wrestlemania. No one has any idea what it would mean to him to do both, and that it was his lifelong dream. King says that he will win at the Elimination Chamber, and he will say he’s going to Wrestlemania. Miz says that he’s wrong, and after their match at the Elimination Chamber match, the whole world will hear, “I’m the Miz, and I’m-“ But King interrupts and starts up an ‘awful’ chant.

Miz, Alex Riley, and King all start to brawl. When it looks like King has the upper hand, Ted DiBiase comes out to help Miz out, but Daniel Bryan comes out to join the fray to help King out.

“King and Bryan versus Miz and DiBiase NOW.”

WWE Champion The Miz and Ted DiBiase vs Jerry “The King” Lawler and the United States Champion Daniel Bryan

Is it just me, or has Bryan not been wearing the US Championship lately?

Ted and Bryan start out, and Bryan starts with some hard kicks. He gets DiBiase in a pin, but DiBiase kicks out, only for Bryan to do it again. DiBiase kicks out again and King is tagged in. Miz comes in and is thrown back to the mat a few times before Miz throws King out of the ring. While Bryan is distracting the ref, DiBiase comes out and attacks King outside the ring.

@Niki_Sushi DAMMIT! I JINXED MYSELF! S RATJLABEJKLNBSRZG;LAEORJIA;EJHBP3O4UART;GLJLBTS GO AWAY DANIEL! #BWF #RAW

@Lunna1969 Bad Teddy! Go to my room!

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase with revenge #ForTheFuture !

@KeepItFiveStar Yes. The Miz is awful. AWFULLY GOOD at being AWESOME!

@kickoutblog The Miz is killing it, would be nice if he hit Lawler with a Piledriver at Elimination Chamber, just to really sell the “mirror image” idea.

Maryse is ringside now, and Alex Riley has been on commentary since the match started.

Bryan is in with Miz when we come back, and Bryan dominates. Ted helps Miz out and Miz turns the momentum in his favor. Miz hits the swinging corner clothesline before going and tagging DiBiase in. Bryan fights back, but DiBiase goes for a cover, only for Bryan to kick out. DiBiase gets the momentum before tagging Miz in. Miz trash talks Bryan, who takes advantage, and tags King in. Miz tags in DiBiase, only for King to get momentum. King hits what I think was a DDT. Miz breaks up the cover, and Bryan attacks him to get him out of the ring. DiBiase starts to get some momentum on King, but King gets him down, lowers the strap, and punches him straight in the face.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.

Alex Riley vows that he will not let The Miz lose at Elimination Chamber.

@KeepItFiveStar Hey Maryse showed up! Gail did not. She’s being stomped out by The Bellas somewhere

@HitTheRopes I would feel bad about DiBiase always losing but he comes down to the ring with Maryse at his side.

Sheamus vs David Otunga

Before Sheamus can make it all the way down to the ring, Josh Matthews follows him and asks for his opinion on Mark Henry’s comments. Sheamus asks what comments, and Josh says that Mark Henry said that Sheamus didn’t deserve to be in the Elimination Chamber match, and Mark Henry should replace him. Sheamus says that Mark Henry never won, doesn’t know if he can fit, and that Mark Henry should shut his mouth before Sheamus shuts it for him.

Otunga makes his way to the ring for the ma-

Mark Henry makes his way out and is pissed. He had Sheamus duke it out for a bit, with Otunga watching, before Otunga tries to get up on the top turnbuckle to do something, only for Sheamus to send him outside the ring. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, and is rewarded with two World’s Strongest Slams right in a row. Mark Henry yells at him to shut his trap before leaving. Otunga crawls in the ring and stands over Sheamus like he actually did something.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto del Rio.

@HitTheRopes Mark Henry wasn’t about to lose that brawl during Black History Month. Not to the well-tanned Sheamus. Otunga stands tall too.

@TKeep123 I didn’t think Sheamus could look any whiter…but now as he stands next to Mark Henry….I was wrong. #RAW #WWE #BWF

@ThingsColeSays SHEAMUS = BURIED

@KeepItFiveStar Wow. The crowd has gone mild for this one. They’re still mad at R-Truth for fuckin Milwaukee and they’re taking it out on all black people

@Niki_Sushi Dark Chocolate, interrupts Milk Chocolate to kill White Chocolate. It’s not Valentine’s Day yet. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Sheamus getting punked by Henry was incredibly stupid.

@kickoutblog All that did was make Sheamus, ya know, the guy who’s actually IN the Chamber, look bad.

Alberto del Rio tells us his name is Alberto del Rio!… but we already knew that. He says that Santino Marella really thinks that he almost got del Rio. It was del Rio’s destiny to win the Royal Rumble, just like it’s his destiny to be the next World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania.

Santino Marella vs Alberto del Rio

Santino gets fired up before the match even starts and throws del Rio out of the ring. Del Rio gets back in the ring, and the ref starts the match. Del Rio tries to do something to Santino, but Santino moves last second and del Rio is sent between the top and middle ropes. The match continues on, and Santino nearly hits the Cobra, but del Rio ducks it, focuses on the arm, and then locks in the cross arm breaker for the win.

Alberto del Rio wins via submission.

@KeepItFiveStar LOL I love that. “My name…My name is Alberto Del RRRRRRRRRIOOOOOOOOOOOO >.< OOOOOOOOO!!! 😀 “

@kickoutblog Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella, even more logical storytelling from WWE tonight… but you already knew that!

@StrikerSays You know, @RRWWE didn’t seem quite as EXCITED for that win as he usually does. Then again, his Royal Rumble performance set the bar HIGH.

Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler come out, and Vickie says that she has something to say: in two weeks, Dolph will not be in the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match as a challenger, but as the new World Heavyweight Champion. She knows for a fact because Dolph will beat Edge-

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR CLEAN YOUR SHOES!

One of them asks what Cena’s doing out there, and Cena responds that he’s putting a stop to this, because it’s more offensive than Christina Aguilera butchering the National Anthem at the SuperBowl, and then says he’s just kidding. He says that he’s come to apologize for Truth, who may have celebrated a little too long and thinks he’s still in Green Bay, but they’re in Milwaukee, in case you didn’t know from Cole shouting it like his brain was going to explode earlier. And, also because the last time the three of them were in the ring together, it was awesome. He says that he and Vickie had a sweet… sexy, passionate make out session, and then says, “You remember, Dolph. You were there and cool with it.” Vickie says that this is not how you respect that acting General Manager of Smackdown and if they don’t show her some respect, she’ll leave. So, they don’t show her respect, and she leaves. Cena then basically says that he will kick Punk’s Elimination Chamber in the Elimination Chamber and Elimination Chamber a bunch more times.

@KeepItFiveStar Don’t apologize on behalf of Truth! Are you serious? If anyone else did that, they’d either be released or depushed immediately.

@HitTheRopes Wonder if Cena will apologize for Truth just being a sad example for us blacks? #wwe

@Niki_Sushi ‘I’ll kick his elimination chamber’ – that sounds SO damn dirty. I twitched, for real. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog See, it is possible to have an awesome segment, teasing Vickie Guerrero, without calling her fat.

CM Punk vs John Cena

Punk and Cena go at it for a while, with Cena repeatedly looking toward the ramp for the interference for New Nexus. Apparently, he gets sick of waiting, and low-blows Punk to get himself disqualified.

CM Punk wins via disqualification.

The New Nexus makes their way down the ring, and Mason Ryan stops by CM Punk, who is outside the ring. McGuillicutty and Otunga stand in the ring with Cena before they attack him, but King gets up and gives Cena a chair. Cena then proceeds to clean the ring out, and Nexus backs away.

So, it wasn’t the most impressive RAW ever for me, but there you have it. I admit that I kind of lost interest toward the end there, so I’m not 100% sure what exactly happened. Hopefully, next week will be more interesting!

RAW 10.25.10

October 25, 2010 11:18 pm 3 Comments

Originally, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to catch this RAW, due to homework, but I managed to just miss about 18 minutes of it. I’m sure RAW will more than make up. Anyway, basically all that happened during that block I missed was that Cena and Otunga lost the WWE Tag Team Championships to Gabriel and Slater. Awesome.

We come back from the first commercial for a WWE Rewind.

Vickie Guerrero and Kaitlin make their way out to the ring. Vickie says that there was a blemish in Smackdown’s perfect night at Bragging Rights, and that Ziggler was cheated by shoddy officiating, and that there was a bias for RAW by the WWE referees. Ziggler is going to embarrass Bryan tonight.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan

Before the match even begins, CM Punk comes out.

In the ring, Ziggler gets an advantage over Bryan, and Punk joins them for commentary. Bryan takes the advantage back and gets Ziggler in the ‘surfboard’, and Ziggler manages to get out or Bryan lets him out. Ziggler goes for a cover on Bryan, but Bryan kicks out on two. Ziggler tries to keep advantage, but Bryan takes that away with a dropkick to the face, and Ziggler kicks out of the cover. Ziggler hits a low gut-kick on Bryan and Bryan flips him right out of the ring.

@HitTheRopes I love that @CMPunk is about to school King and Cole on announcing. #wwe

@ThingsColeSays CM Punk burying King is AWESOME!!!

@TKeep123 Here come Chuck Norris…err..I mean….Bryan Daniel. #WWE #RAW

We’re back to Bryan and Ziggler back in the ring, and Bryan takes Ziggler out with a hard clothesline. Bryan goes for the cover, but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler looks like he’s begging for mercy, and Bryan ignores him, hitting hard kicks on his abdomen. Bryan misses his first kick, but hits the second one, only for Ziggler to kick out at two. Bryan goes for the LaBell lock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Bryan puts Ziggler on the top rope, and hits a hurricanrana off the top, only for Ziggler to flip it into a pin, though Bryan kicks out. Ziggler goes for the sleeper, but Bryan gets out, and Ziggler hits what could have almost been Sweet Chin Music on Bryan. Bryan kicks out of that cover though, and Vickie screeches about the ref cheating or something. Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, misses, Bryan goes for a cover, reverses into Ziggler covering Bryan, and then Bryan kicks out at two. Vickie is still screeching. Ziggler and Bryan trade moves, and then Ziggler throws Bryan, but Bryan kicks out of the cover. Ziggler goes for the sleeper again, but Bryan wonders absently around the ring, but Bryan counters into the LaBell lock, and Vickie pulls Ziggler’s foot outside the bottom rope. The ref takes his submission, Vickie freaks out, and the ref basically says that that’s too bad and keeps his decision the same.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.

Bryan’s enjoying his victory, and Ziggler slips back into the ring, but then flees when Bryan turns around.

Last night, Smackdown beat RAW again. Boo.

Later tonight, John Cena will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton, and the winner decides the special guest referee for their next match (or… Barrett and Orton decide).

@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay, Bravo #WWE Good match w/ Punk as a God on commentary

@CawCawBang LMAO! I love CM Punk’s brutal honesty

@TKeep123 Ziggler’s gonna get callouses from tapping so much! #WWE #RAW

The guest star tonight is country megastar, Toby Keith.

Toby Keith gives a copy of his albums to the Bellas, and they give him a Championship belt. Santino comes up, dressed like a cowboy. He said that when he came to America, it was all pop, and now it’s country and western. He then sings a song of sorts that he wrote. I’ll try to find these lyrics later, alright? It is funny. Toby tells him to keep his night job, and then Sheamus comes up.

Sheamus mocks Santino, of course, and says that Santino embarrassed his team last night, but Sheamus is going to give him an opportunity to prove he’s not worthless. He challenges him TONIGHT! Santino says he’s on. Sheamus then tells Santino he’d better show up. Santino then asks Toby if he thinks Sheamus was ‘for really’.

Cena walks up and yells at Barrett, who calls him out for finding a loophole last night. The only reason Cena’s still employed, is because Barrett is allowing it. If he tells Cena to make a cup of coffee, be silent, or lay down to give up a championship, then he’s gonna do it. Cena says that for the last few weeks he’s been trying to hold onto something he loves, but he can’t do it anymore. Fired, quit, it’s the same damn thing, and it beats working for Barrett. Barrett tells him to hold on, and that he may have a solution. If Cena beats Orton tonight, Barrett will make him an offer that will benefit both of them.

@kickoutblog Santino still looks less ridiculous than Toby Keith usually does.

@inkincisions Please. Someone, anyone, get in that ring, and wrestle!

@thinksojoe Best. Country. Song. Ever! #BWF

@TKeep123 Cowboy crooner Santino Morella! Fear The Cobra! #WWE #RAW

@HitTheRopes The Bellas doing what they do best, standing next to the guest star….. Wait, wasn’t there some kinda dysfunction between them? #wwe

LayCool vs Melina and Gail Kim

Melina goes straight for McCool, then dominates Layla. Melina goes for a cover on Layla, who kicks out. The two switch each other around, and then Layla knocks Gail off the apron, and they hit each other mid-ring with a cross body. Layla tags in Michelle, but Melina didn’t see it and takes a boot to the face and a cover for the win.

LayCool win via pinfall.

Short ass Diva’s match? Check!

Lawler tells us not to wear a WWE T-shirt when you go to vote next Tuesday.

Miz and Riley make their way to the ring, and Cole says Miz is going to read the Riot Act to the rest of the team.

@divadirt Michelle pins Melina after a big boot and it’s all over in 1 minute. Yay(!) [/sarcasm] #WWE

@CawCawBang Does this mean we get to see psycho Miz again?

AWESOME!

Wheeeeeeee, Miz~! I haven’t done it in a while. Just… let me have a moment.

Okay, moment over.

Miz says he’s accomplished more in his career than everyone in this arena can dream of achieving in their entire lives. No matter how superior he is to everyone in the arena or the locker room, he is not a miracle worker. Last night, he endured adversity, overcame hardship, he lasted longer than any Superstar on RAW, but they still failed against Smackdown. If the WWE Superstars had a fraction of the talent that he possessed, the Bragging Rights trophy would be on Monday Night RAW. But his talent doesn’t just speak volumes. It screams ‘AWESOME’. That’s why he’s a leader. That’s why he’s the captain, and that’s why tomorrow, the poster child of THQ’s Smackdown vs RAW 2011 is none other than him. The Miz joins Cena and the Big Show on the cover of the game. Miz says that if they really wanted to make some money, then the cover should have just consisted of him. The RAW team should have just consisted of seven Miz’, instead of one Miz and six losers. If those people understand anything, understand this: he blames his team, he blames Smackdown, he blames Rey Mysterio, and if Rey wants to come over there, he’s putting out the challenge. Step right up over to RAW, next week, he doesn’t care. The reason people watch RAW is because of him. Because he’s the Miz and he’s the only person on the RAW roster that can honestly say that I’M AWESOME!

Eve comes out after his speech and makes her way into the ring, and Miz even holds the ropes apart for her. Miz says that Eve is there to apologize on behalf of all the Divas, but she doesn’t have to. She should, instead, be apologizing for her horrific taste in men, music, and hair extensions that don’t match. She says she didn’t come out to apologize. He needs to be worried about the fact that everyone in the locker room, arena, WWE Universe thinks he’s a… bunch of words here, loser. Miz asks if they all really think he’s a frog-faced loser, and I disagree. :3 Anyway… Miz says that the Packers aren’t going to the SuperBowl, so they’re all losers as well. As for Eve, Miz finds it amusing that the Superstars sent out a Diva to insult him. Eve says that she knows what he’s going to say and he’s quite possibly the furthest thing from awesome she’s ever seen, and he’s ugly. Riley says for her to shut the front door. Riley says that he doesn’t speak Gucci, but the reason the rest of the RAW team isn’t out there is because they’re all tip-toeing their way toward unemployment, and the Miz could have beat any of those slackers by himself. So, why doesn’t Eve take that little switch in her walk back to the back and find out if anyone in the team wants to take a piece out of the captain.

Truth comes out, thus ruining a few nights on Twitter. I wish he’d stop rapping though, I really would… God, I almost miss him screaming ‘What’s Up?’ at me… and yes, Cole, Santino’s singing was better.

Truth says slackers was a bit harsh. Anybody wanna piece of Miz? Truth would like to have a piece of Mr. Kermit. Don’t get mad because what Eve said is the truth, and they all know the truth hurts. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t have a problem showing Miz that the truth hurts. God, this is corny.

“Ding ding ding.”

The Miz vs R-Truth

Miz misses a clothesline, and Truth takes advantage, knocking Miz out of the ring.

@WWEsAngel_Nef Is it just m or is Eve channeling some serious Dixie Carter right now? #WWE

@dasharpshooters: The Miz should Choke that bitch. STFU EVE! #wwe #raw

@StrikerSays For a minute, though, I was REALLY hoping for an intergender match.

@kickoutblog All those pansies in the Raw locker room had to send a woman to trash talk Captain Awesome.

@inkincisions LMFAO. Alex Riley. OMG. This segment has made my night. “OH YOU FANCY HUH!?”

@CawCawBang get back in the kitchen woman

@divadirt Miz says Eve should be sorry for her ‘extensions that don’t quite match’. You got served! #WWE

@TKeep123 I love Eve and she’s a trained dancer, model, cheerleader, etc, but when she dances to Truth’s rap…it’s just sooo bad. #WWE #RAW

Miz has Truth in a headlock as we return, getting momentum back with a big boot to the head. Truth goes for a roll-up, but Miz kicks out at two, and then pummels Truth’s head. Miz goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out. Miz gets advantage again, but Truth fights back, countering in mid-air and going for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz gets Truth in the corner and beats on him until the ref pulls him away. Miz then hits the swinging corner clothesline and goes for a cover again, only for Truth to kick out again. Miz gets him to his feet and then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Miz tries for a suplex, but Truth holds steady and knocks Miz off. Miz runs into Truth’s foot, and Truth jumps over him, hitting some hard hits on Miz before Miz counters with a kick to the gut. Truth then hits a vicious clothesline and keeps his momentum going. Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth slams his elbow into Miz and ducks under a clothesline, hitting some weird move on Miz, and going for a cover. Miz kicks out at two, and Miz is outside on the apron. Truth knocks him right into the announce table. Truth then shoves Miz into the ring, and Riley shoves Truth into the apron. Eve walks over and slaps Riley. In the ring, Miz goes to suplex Truth, but Truth manages to get on his face. Truth then takes Riley out outside the ring, and goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Truth tries to hit Lie Detector, but Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale.

The Miz wins via pinfall.

Miz blows Eve a kiss after the match, getting some attitude back, of course.

Still to come, Cena takes on Orton.

@KeepItFiveStar That’s R-Truth’s signature move, looking up a the lights, flatback.

Tonight’s guest star is Toby Keith, and he happens to be the special guest referee for the next match. The Bellas need to learn how to dance to country music. Seriously… and get off him, you whores. He’s too important to get herpes from you two.

Honestly… I’m a fan of Toby Keith (born and raised listening to him), but I don’t know what he’s saying, to be honest.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head…

Sheamus vs Santino Marella

I love Santino. He just poked his head out from behind the lights there. Santino seems reluctant, but Toby Keith works on getting him in the ring. Santino managed to get one quick shot in before Sheamus decided to massacre him for his mistake. Sheamus went for the Brogue Kick, and Santino literally just flops onto his butt. John Morrison runs out and tells the ref something, falling on his butt again when Sheamus goes for another Brogue Kick. Sheamus went for another Brogue Kick, but ended up getting his feet all caught up in the ropes, and Santino capitalizes with a pin. He and John Morrison flee up the ring.

Santino Marella wins via miracle pinfall.

@KeepItFiveStar Toby Keith told Santino that Sheamus is no longer Triple H’s gym buddy.

@TKeep123 Toby Keith can’t keep his eyes open? OH, that’s right, protecting them from the Sheamus glow! #WWE #RAW

More video packages, less wrestling. Totally makes sense.

Gabriel and Slater take pride in their title win. Otunga, on the other hand, wants to talk to Barrett and looks pretty pissed. Otunga asks why he had to go through that. Barrett says that he’s sorry he feels that way. Otunga says that since he couldn’t win last night, Barrett made him lay down. Otunga says that he may be a little pissed and may decide to tell everyone why they really attacked Taker last night. McGuillicutty and Harris come in wearing Nexus shirts, and Barrett says that they’re members, and while he understands Otunga’s frustrations, Otunga is either Nexus or against us, and he needs to make that choice right now. Otunga glares at them all, and then says he’s Nexus. Barrett says he’s pleased about that and for Otunga to keep up the excellent work. I wonder where they found enough fab- okay, no fat jokes. I’m sorry.

Next up, Cena vs Orton.

@KeepItFiveStar “I was in prison watching the WWE because the inmates used to watch the show to get ideas on how to-” – MVP

@HitTheRopes Hey, Stand Up for WWE ad, I visited China…town! Chinatown, dammit! #wwe

@kickoutblog Okay, Stand Up for WWE is lame, but this promo is pretty damn cool.

@ThingsColeSays OK, I actually like this video package. I know it’s got ulterior motives, but it’s different.

Oh, dear God… Next week, Pee Wee Herman is the guest host… I may avoid RAW next week… He makes me twitchy.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, EVE!

John Cena vs WWE Champion Randy Orton

Cena and Orton part seven million and forty-five starts now! … I love all their matches though, I’ll be honest.

Orton and Cena lock up, Cena getting Orton in a headlock, but Orton fights out of it and takes Cena down with a hard shoulder. Cena ducks a blow from Orton and gets him in another head lock. Cena gets out, but Cena hits a hard shoulder knockdown on Orton. They lock up yet again, but Cena backs Orton into a corner, then they run across the ring, and Orton counters Cena’s usual bulldog, hurling Cena across the ring. Orton gets the momentum and holds onto it, sparing Barrett a glance before focusing back on Cena. Cena launches himself at Orton, but Orton drops onto the mat and ducks under it, sending Cena right out of the ring. Barrett sneaks up on Orton from behind, but Orton catches him, and hits him, sending him scampering backward.

@Niki_Sushi @RandyOrton , why do you look like you were sculpted to make the Greek’s jealous?

@KeepItFiveStar Wade Barrett is doing the Smackdown vs RAW Manager bit. Just walk out while the person does their entrance.

We come back to Orton holding the momentum still, Cena fighting out of his headlock. Cena pulls Orton onto his shoulders, but Orton plants Cena face-first onto the mat first. Orton goes for a cover, but Cena powers out at two. Orton hits Cena with some hard hits to the face. Orton flings Cena into the corner, and Cena lifts his boot. Cena then hits a series of shoulder blocks on Orton and then drops him to the ground, calling for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, giving the You Can’t See Me to Barrett, before hitting it on Orton. Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, Orton attempts RKO, Cena attempts STF, and Orton hits a scoop slam. There was stuff in between, but it was moving fast. Orton glances at Barrett, and Orton pulls Cena into the ring, but Cena avoids the DDT and plants Orton outside the ring. Barrett goes to help, but Cena shoves him head over heels away from Orton. Orton and Cena exchange blows outside the ring, and then Cena throws Orton into the ring. Cena climbs onto the top turnbuckle and hits a leg drop on Orton. Cena goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two. Orton gets up, Cena attempts the Attitude Adjustment, and Orton wiggles free. Orton gets back into the ring and Cena locks in the STF. Orton is inching toward the ropes, but Barrett pulls the rope back, and Cena gets up in his face. They argue whether Cena should listen to Barrett or win the match. Cena gets back in the ring, and Orton hits a drop kick on him. Orton then hits his DDT on Cena, dropping to the mat and pounding in preparation for the RKO. Cena inches up to his feet, Orton watches him closely, and misses the RKO. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment instead and Orton manages to kick out at two. Cena gets Orton back up, but Orton hits an RKO on Cena, who rolled out of the ring. Orton rolls out of the ring to Cena and pulls him up and shoves him back into the ring, rolling back in himself. Orton gets to his feet and backs into a corner, but Barrett pulls Cena out and clotheslines Cena.

Jon Cena wins via disqualification.

Randy attacks Barrett from behind after the disqualification. Nexus runs to the ring and starts to take Orton out. Cena, on the other hand, fights Nexus back, and Barrett yells at them all to stop, and tells Nexus to get out of the ring. Barrett tells Cena well done, and that he gets to choose the special guest referee for his match with Orton at Survivor Series. His ref will be Cena. Barrett says that Cena will be an impartial referee, but if Barrett doesn’t win the championship at Survivor Series, he’ll fire Cena on the spot. When Barrett wins the WWE Championship, Cena will be relieved of any and all responsibilities to the Nexus. Cena looks like he can’t believe it, Orton looks pissed, and Cole poetically says that Orton is screwed. Way to take the words out of my mouth, Cole. Way to go.

What will Cena do? What will Orton do? WHAT WILL I DO?! There’s RAW. Til next week.

Tag Archive: Homework

RAW 2.7.11

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RAW 10.25.10

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