Well, well, well. Here we are at another Wednesday, which normally means you’d read about my views about the week that was in professional wrestling. But this week, I’d thought I’d try something different. I dont know how this will turn out, but here goes.
The View of the Non-Wrestling Fan
James Guttman said it best in his book, World Wrestling Insanity: the Fall and Decline of a Family Empire, when he quoted the adage “For those who enjoy it, no explanation is needed. For those who don’t, no explanation will do”. I can sit here for hours, trying to explain to you why exactly I an a fan of the business this website is based on, but to be honest, I cant. What I can tell you, is that there were three things that got me going, my second eldest brother, some WWF Steel Cage wrestling game for the SEGA Mega Drive, and Shawn Michaels. Infact, Michaels and Bret Hart were my Tag Team Champions on that game. This was 1993. Little did I know of the future these two would have. But moving on, the reason this column is being written as you see it, is because of work, and my lunch breaks.
In the past couple of days, I have been taking in some PPVs to watch during my 30-minute break. Which normally means I get a full match in. However, what I have found, is that there people in my workplace, who cannot stand the sight of wrestling. They are the type who say ‘it’s fake’ or ‘they know what’s gonna happen, don’t they’? This is where the old adage I mentioned earlier comes in. No matter what I say, I cannot and will not change their minds about what they think.
The following is from the point-of-view of the non-wrestling fan. The PPV in question, is Judgment Day 2000. The match was the first on the card. A six-man tag between Edge, Christian and Kurt Angle versus Too Cool and Rikishi.
There was a time in this match where, I think it was Rikishi was in the ring, and he was beating up all three of his opponents. Now, rather than ganging up for a 3-on-1 assault, they attacked him individually. Infact, one waited for the other to be knocked down, before making his move. Now, common sense will tell you that, if you have three guys, against one, then the three should attack all at once, thus increasing their chances of beating down the one. I decided not to argue, and infact listen to their opinions of the action. Here’s some questions that arose, other than the one I just mentioned:
What is the point of that (Scotty 2 Hotty’s worm) when all that happens is a chop to the throat that misses by three inches?
They wouldnt be able to do this as much as they do if they actually connected?
and one that I came up with …
What was everyone’s fascination with Too Cool? They sucked!
Let’s analyze as the wrestling fan. Scotty’s worm is purely for show. Much like Rock’s ‘People’s Elbow’, or Hogan’s ‘Leg Drop’. They’re basic moves done in a way to make it look like it would have more effect on their opponent, when really, it wouldnt do much to them at all.
If they actually connected, you would only see a guy wrestle every few months. You don’t see the same guy fight at a UFC PPV 3,4,5 months running, because it would be almost physically impossible to not only compete, but to be able to recover enough from the beating they received in their last bout. Also, they are entertainers. I was told something which struck a cord with me. “That’s why wrestlers become good actors, because they need to act in order to do this (wrestle)”. I agree with this statement. Would the Rock, or Steve Austin, or John Cena be as good as what they in the movies, without performing in a wrestling ring? We cannot answer that, with a definite answer, but being involved with ‘Sports Entertainment’ has helped, and thats all the wrestling business is now. It’s ‘Sports Entertainment’, not ‘professional wrestling’.
I think the point I’m trying to make is, we all know we know it. Some of us can explain why we like this guy, or boo that guy, but some of us don’t understand why others don’t like it as much. My advice is, chances are your not going to change someones mind about it, but listen to their thoughts. Look at things from another perspective, a non-wrestling fan’s perspective. You might just learn a thing or two, but most of all, realize, that Too Cool really did suck.
To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.
It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Judgment Day
I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.
Umaga def. CM Punk
I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …
Christian def. Jack Swagger
Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.
John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin
This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.
Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.
Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)
Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.
Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?
John Cena def. Big Show
First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?
Edge def. Jeff Hardy
Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.
No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double FJ-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
TNA Lockdown
I’ve been promoting this PPV for weeks. I even talked about this PPV during Wrestlemania week, without talking about Wrestlemania. With all that said, did they let me down? Well, it depends on which way you look at it.
For those who watched it, I’ve heard mixed reactions, although some of these reactions have come from the same TNA bashers each week who have watched previous PPVs in the past and think that the rest will be the same. However, right here on this very website, our very own Drowgoddess, thought the PPV was at least decent. Infact, she enjoyed it. I didnt watch it, and Drow did, so I will take her word on how good it was. But that doesnt mean I have nothing to say.
How can Team 3D, have numerous ‘Rough Cuts’ segments, stating how they help the young guys, that they’re not there to be selfish and that they’re there to put over the young guys. Then why in the hell, did they NOT put over Beer Money Inc. at Lockdown? Was it because it was in Philly, your ‘hometown’ so to speak? Brother Ray, Brother Devon, since when did you guys become Bret Hart? It shouldnt matter if your ‘home’ or away, if the jobs to be done, then the jobs to be done. There is absolutely no reason why Team 3D should be the Tag Team Champions at this moment. It seems that you lie to your wrestling school, when you say you help the young guys, because all you done at Lockdown, was squash all the momentum James Storm and Robert Roode had. Thanks a lot Team 3D.
Suicide needs to be someone new, and not guys like Daniels or Kaz. if Suicide was a new guy, then you could have guys like Daniels, Kaz and Suicide on the roster, whereas this way, only one of Daniels and Kaz can be on the roster, otherwise one will be pulling double-duty every night. Daniels has just come back to the roster as himself, but he also donned the Suicide outfit for Lockdown, which means he wrestled two matches in the night, when he shouldnt of had to. Many people could complain as to why you turned a video game character into a real-life character, but I’m not one of those. The only thing that upsets me about Suicide, is that it isnt someone new in that suit.
Angelina Love won the KnockOuts belt. It gives Awesome Kong the chance for some time off, which is a good thing. However, is it such a godd thing for everything else. The Beautiful People is a good heel group in the KnockOuts division, especially since Kute Kip stopped hanging around, and they recruited Madison Rayne. The problem with Angelina Love with the belt is this, she has zero ability. It would be like, Lauren winning the belt. Thats how much ability she has, and plus, it will probably lead to a rift between Love and fellow members Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne, which will lead to the break-up of the group, which can only mean bad things for TNA. Sure, they have SoJo Bolt and Rhaka Khan as heels, but against the face core of Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, ODB, Kong, Raisha Saeed and Daffney, it is pivotial in this columnist’s opinion that they dont break up the Beautiful People over the title. But I suppose, like everything else in the world, only time will tell.
MotorCity Machine Guns retained the belts. Nice to see TNA actually see them as a Tag Team champion, even if it is only the Junior IWGP Tag Team Champions. They’re still champions. A note to Team 3D, have these guys beat you for your Tag gold. Thats right, you say you help the young guys, but you’d just rather squash. Sorry for suggesting you actually lose clean.
ODB won Queen of the Cage, thus becoming #1 contender for the KnockOuts title. Who is that guy with her? Since when did they hire Joe Dirt? JT would’ve been a better winner.
Abyss, Matt Morgan, Tean Jarrett and Team Angle? Meh.
Sting and Mick Foley. We have a new champion folks, and it’s Mick Foley. You know Mick Foley, he was thrown off a cage in 1996. He won his first major title as Mankind in 1998. It’s nice to see Sting putting over the young guys. Great job, Sting! I dont care how good the match may have been. It’s a joke that Foley is champ. Isnt he the Commish, or the Executive Shareholder or something like that? How can an authority figure win the belt? It’s like when Vince McMahon won the 1998 Royal Rumble, only Foley’s win makes no sense. Foley equals Ratings, bullshit. Pushing the young guys, and providing an actual wrestling show. That equals Ratings.
WWE Backlash
The Pay-Per-View is this Sunday. You think i’m lying don’t you? I promise you, I’m not. I wish I was though, because the matches they are providing doesnt exactly show a ‘great’ PPV. let me show you.
The Main Event has the Legacy (Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes), face off against the team of Shane McMahon, Batista and the WWE Champion, Triple H. The stipulation is as follows. If any members of Randy Orton’s team wins, then Randy Orton wins the title, however, if any members of Triple H’s team wins, then Triple H retains the title. Judging by the tension between Shane and Batista on RAW the past weeks, and Batista’s spear on Shane during the Orton/HHH NoDQ match on RAW this past week, I can say with great security, that Batista gets the pin for his team, then lays claim to the title, and challenges Triple H.
John Cena defends the World Heavyweight Championship, against the former holder, Edge, in a Last Man Standing match. Is it just me, or have these two feuded since New Year’s Revolution 2007, when Edge cashed in Money in the Bank, after Cena survivng the Elimination Chamber? This is about the only match that these two havent competed in against each other, besides Hell In A Cell. Cena doesnt interest me, and Edge, well, maybe with Vickie Guerrero on RAW now, he can become a heel on his own accord, rather than using the likes of Lita, and Vickie to help him get there.
Jack Swagger defends the ECW Championship against Christian. Yes, really. The ECW Title is being defended on Pay-Per-View. Shocking. Anyways, after the four-way, three-match elimination process, which saw Mark Henry, Tommy Dreamer and Finlay eliminated. Christian winds up as number one contender. This gives them one-week, two shows (ECW and Superstars), to build this match into any insignificance. With Swagger’s poor performance at No Way Out, many say he’s being punished. If that’s the case, then Swagger has an uphill ride ahead of him if he wants to get back to the levels he’s at now.
Chris Jericho vs Ricky Steamboat. It seems those in the WWE were impressed with Steamboat’s performance at Wrestlemania, that they’ve decided to book him in a match, against Jericho. Another match with pretty much zero buildup, which doesnt sound good. However, we know Jericho can go, it depends on if Steamboat can go at least ten minutes to make this match anything.
Jeff Hardy faces his brother Matt in an ‘I Quit’ match. This sure seems to be the PPV for gimmicks, doesnt it? I thought their gimmick PPV was a entitled ‘Extreme Rules’ and it was in June? Hmmm, I must be mistaken. This looks like the match to end the feud between the Hardy Boyz, which has stemmed since the Survivor Series. The fans utterly adore Jeff, so let’s hope he puts over his brother Matt, to give him the push. Otherwise, it’s a TNA-story all over again.
Khali kissing ‘Santina’ on Khali-kiss cam? Your kidding me, right? No? This is really happening. A guy in drag, is gonna kiss a big, useless guy whose claim to fame is being an extra in the re-make of the Longest Yard. I will use a quote, from US tennis great John McEnroe here when I say “You can’t be serious”.
CM Punk vs Kane? Since when? Apparently, this match stems from the end of the Money in the Bank ladder match at Wrestlemania, in which Punk kicked Kane off the ladder, in order to grab the briefcase. The only other build-up this match has had, was a match on RAW between the two (remember, CM Punk and Kane were both drafted to SmackDown!, so why are they competing on RAW is my question), in which Punk countered the Chokeslam into a roll-up into a three count. Why do I get the feeling that Backlash is like one big jigsaw, that has been put together very rushed and all the pieces are in the wrong spot.
This PPV doesnt make me think it’s a must-watch, or even a maybe-watch. Maybe it’s the PPV after Wrestlemania. Maybe it’s the rush job they have done in creating matches, or maybe it’s me wanting to watch SummerSlam ’99 again. Whatever the reason, I’m staying away from Backlash.
WWE Vintage Collection
This, I have to say, is the only WWE show, I enjoy watching. For those who havent seen it, it’s hosted by ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund, and it’s an hour log show, remembering the shows of yesteryear. Anything from past Wrestlemanias, to U.K. only specials, to weekly shows from the 80s. It’s an old-school fan’s delight, and now, starting this week, I am recapping this show for WorldWrestlingInsanity.com, due to leave taken by their usual recapper. Whether it’s only a part-time gig, or whether it’s a more permanent role remains to be seen, but my first recap from what I understand, will appear at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com today! Go check it out, and enjoy the Battle Royal at Royal Albert Hall from October 3, 1991.
That’s it for another Wednesday. Be sure to check back each and every day for various columns and results from the fellow Bored Wrestling Fan crew. But, from this columnist, I bid you adieu.
