MPX’s Back to School is in the books. (See what I did there?) Thanks to the characteristic awful traffic, epically torrential weather and WTF side-road configuration, I ended up getting there late and halfway into the dark match. So sorry to Tad Wylde & Kros/City for missing it.
It took me a while to sit down and get my bearings. I sat down just in time to see the intros. Kate looked gorgeous and leggy as usual. We were treated to the title match being first.
First match: Frankie Fisher (c) vs. Matt Palmer
The match started, Matt did his finisher on Frankie and pinned him in Sheamus/Daniel Bryan time.
Winner, and new champion: Matt Palmer
Then Frankie started complaining and they restarted the match. I yelled out, “Dusty Finish” (and I usually try not to get involved). However, they did the exact same thing and Palmer walked out as champion. If you read my writing, you know I’m a huge Matt Palmer fan. Having him as champ adds a certain credibility outside the company. If you do not know the name Matt Palmer, please learn it.
I’m a little mixed on the next segment. There was a trivia contest between the two members of Tad Wylde and the Asian Nation. The build-up was a little different than Guy A beats up Guy B. So it was refreshing that the creative team is trying out new things. However, as I go into cranky old white man mode, I do not go to pro wrestling to watch trivia contests. But they had a little girl come in and clinch the trivia contest. It was about the kids and that’s what mattered.
Second match: James Hawke vs. BC
Hawke is beginning to get a bigger crowd reaction. And BC is great. He understands the crowd and has so much charisma. He has no character; he is just himself. I liked the decision of putting BC here in this match, because as a heel, all you have to be is contrary to him. The work looked a little clunky in places. But BC’s role was to make Hawke look good, and that went well.
Winner: Hawke
They showed a video of Haiden attacking Barrett Brown. Best I can figure out, somebody needs to call the police.
Third match: Kanoa vs. Steven Kirby in a Lumberjill Match
This match was joined by special guests: The North Texas Derby Revolution, whom can be found here. Between the Europa Expo and MPX, they are on an all-out publicity blitz. The match was Kanoa fighting Kirby with the ladies of the derby skating around the ring. Steven Kirby, formerly known as WASP, is going through a transition to being himself. His “self” is apparently very Irish-American. Kanoa showed a little bit of his comedic range. My only thing is was this out of character for him? But the match was pretty decent. When Kanoa got knocked out of the ring, the derby girls would make sure to hit him as they skated by. My major complaint was that this match did not fit the intensity their current feud. It was a showcase for the girls and might have better fit Tad Wylde facing a tag team. I’m not sure who else I would have put in the match with the roller girls. It’s like watching an episode of Mad Men and then one episode of Mad Men is the Harlem Globetrotters playing the Washington Generals. There were some stiff chops and some good work. Mike Foxx interfered followed by Scott Murdoch to force it into a “No contest.”
Winner: No Contest
Everybody wanted it to be a tag team match. I’m glad that it didn’t. They are willing to wait and let the story play out naturally.
Fourth match: $Payday$ (c) vs. Kenny Steele for the Prospects Championship in a Last Man Standing Match
This was a big blow-off to their feud. The guys really brought it in their intensity. They beat the living s*** out of each other. $Payday$ got his first ever “That was awesome” chant with his moonsault off the ring apron onto Kenny. They brawled and ended up at the tires for the crossfit training. Kenny put $Payday$ in the tire and rolled him back to the ring. One thing I liked is that $Payday$ was able to have a different type of match, yet he still found a way to include his athleticism in it. There was a sunset flip onto the ladder that drew $Payday$’s 2nd “That was awesome” chant of the night. At another point there was a spinebuster onto a ladder. For the finish, Kenny did a powerbomb onto the crossfit tire. That drew a first for me: a heel getting a “That was awesome” chant.
Winner, and new Prospects champion: Kenny Steele
For both guys fighting their first Last Man Standing Match, it was a pretty good brawl. I would have liked to seen more drama and focus on winning the match. But end to a very nice feud.
Fifth match: Scott Murdoch vs. Mike Foxx
I love that Mike Foxx is being used as a gatekeeper to build the next generation. I loved Murdoch’s intensity and focus. It was almost Lesnar-like. Foxx had his patented scowl. The first time these two met together, it somewhat lacked in the intangibles. This match did not. Both were firing on all cylinders. There were some chops where I was pretty sure somebody was going to get decapitated. It ended when Kanoa came back in followed by Kirby.
Winner: No contest
Really loving the feud going on with these four. As part of the main event, Zero the Antihero came out and asked to be on the main event team. Now if Mike Dolenz did not have a team ready, should have really been deserving of staying GM? Haiden walked out and beat up Zero, incapacitating him. Since Headbanger and Saint came out to Zero’s rescue, they were asked to be part of his team.
Main event: Gregory James, Danny Saint, Claudia & Frankie Fisher vs. Kristopher Haiden, Matt “The Choice” Andrews, Regrub & Carrion Arcane in an elimination match for control of the company for 90 days:
I was surprised by the choice of Claudia, but it made sense. Frankie didn’t. He had just lost the title. Why was he out there seemed to be a little off to me. This was perhaps one of the top matches of the night for me. There were lots of complex stories going on here. Claudia held her own and even pinned Choice. She also did a moonsault on Regrub earning a “That was awesome” chant. Frankie looked good in the match and even got some chants. I liked how even though he was on the face team, he still wrestled like a heel. It ended up with the last two being Greg & Arcane. Haiden, who had just been eliminated, attacked Mike Dolenz with a chair. It distracted Greg enough to where Arcane was able to get the pin.
Winner: Arcane
Being that he won control of the company, Kyle Valo took the mic and announced the changes that would be happening.
All in all… I’m liking Valo taking over as lead of the company. He’s better on the mic and entertains the heck out of me. I liked the $Payday$-Steele match. I loved the crossover of the derby girls (my kind of eye candy), even if it didn’t make sense in the bigger picture. And of course Matt Palmer being champion means nothing but good things. Not everything clicked, but they are focused and concentrating on letting the stories play out naturally rather than giving us too much too early. I am very intrigued to see where they go from here.
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This was my first time to attend a Texoma Pride Wrestling show. It was an hour and a half drive so I took my mother. To begin with, this crowd was rabid. If you like old-school “rasslin’, ” this is the crowd for it. There was merchandise out the wazoo, which is my favorite part. The ring announcing intros weren’t real professional, but it gave it a kind of home-country charm. Sign Guy is a great host though. He works really well at the facilitation of it all. I liked the Pledge of Allegiance. They introduced all 8 competitors ECWA Super 8 style.
First match: Erica Torres vs. Kyra Myra
All but one of these competitors, this was my first match. Kyra was the hometown girl and is over like Nolan Ryan in Arlington. I liked Erica. I would like to nickname her “The Latina Portia Perez.” She reminded me a lot of Portia Perez, which is not a name I use lightly. Erica knew her role pretty well. I coulda told you during the introductions that Kyra was going to win. I’m pretty sure that this crowd would have rioted had anybody else won. Erica knew it was her role to make Kyra look important and she did. Erica was a good engaging heel. What I wrote down is that she never forgot she was in front of the crowd. Each wrestler played up each others’ strengths really well. I wrote down that it was a good “big man-little man” match, but with women. One of the things that stood out to me is that there were a few moments in the match where I thought Erica would win. So even though there was no possible way Erica would have won, I still found myself getting lost. Very good match.
Winner: Kyra
Second match: Jen Alise w/Bree Ann vs. La Reina Pink
Here Pink was announced simply as “Pink.” And of course, the irony was that “Pink” was wearing no pink. Jen was over nice as a heel. Jen is the only one I had seen before tonight. This was a very nice short match. Jen won with her feet on the rope. What I loved about this crowd is that they were near-riot over the feet on the ropes. I loved it.
Winner: Alise
Third match: Barbi Hayden vs. Angel Blue w/Niki Night
Newsflash: Barbi Hayden is hot. You know when you watch the teen romantic comedy and Freddie Prinze, Jr. is with the really hot blond with the cheerleader, beach bunny body that is somehow the villain to the Rachel Leigh Cook character? Yeah, that’s Barbi. And Angel Blue is VERY striking as well. I’ve heard her name for a long time and I was struck by how short she is. Angel was very good with the crowd. I was very struck by Barbi’s style. I think both of these would fit in just fine in a WSU or SHIMMER. They really can go. Needless to say, this match put me in my happy place. Barbi won.
Winner: Barbi
Fourth match: Starr Venus vs. Bree Ann w/Jen Alise
Bree Ann is the local talent. Seeing her actual wrestling outfit, I hope she does not lay down otherwise people might picnic on top of her. Starr is so enthusiastic. I know I say that a lot, but she has a very infectious enthusiasm that flows into her matches. The chemistry didn’t quite happen in this match. However Bree did the loudest b****-slap I’ve ever seen in my life. After that happened, the work flowed a lot more smoothly. Especially since Bree Ann was the home girl, I was expecting her to win. But she did not. So it was a nice surprise booking-wise.
Winner: Starr
Fifth match: Cody Jones & Ken Carson vs. Michael Faith & Double D
I was very pleasantly surprised by this match. The first team should probably be called “The Boyfriends.” Both teams kept the fans engaged. Carson had a lot of fun with the crowd and the referee. They were kind of the cool heels that you boo with a smile. The match also had a nice crescendo with action. I had not seen or heard of Double D before, but he has a nice chiseled look and some great athleticism. I definitely knew his name after that match. While being in its role to give the fans a place to take a break from the women wrestlers, it was very entertaining. I want to see Faith some more. I think he has the potential to be the next Samoa Joe. These were two experienced wrestlers to help Faith & D get over as a tag team.
Winner: Double Faith (If that’s not their name, it needs to be)
During the intermission, the faces came out, signed autographs and mingled with the crowd. Starr was a total class act. She was so enthusiastic and really loves what she’s doing. She has such a genuineness that comes out through her work. Also, Tim Storm was such a class act as well. There wasn’t a single person he didn’t get his picture with. If anybody wants to know how to be a babyface, watch Tim Storm in how he wrestles AND how he treats the crowd.
Sixth match: Kyra Myra vs. Jen Alise
Well, I was a little surprised that THIS was not the main event, but I liked the booking. Bree Ann stayed at ringside in Jen’s corner and kept the crowd into it. This wasn’t much of a match, but I did see a gore for the first time in a woman’s match. Jen was choking her and so the referee disqualified her.
Winner by dq: Kyra
Bree was threatening with some handcuffs, and Kyra took the handcuffs from her and cuffed Jen to the ropes. A little too Super Cena for me. But Jen can say she never was pinned. I would have liked more of a beatdown that Kyra could overcome to win the tournament.
Seventh match: Starr Venus vs. Barbi Hayden
I’ve already gushed about how great Starr was. And Barbi was wearing a new outfit, including one of her t-shirts (which she didn’t have in XL or larger, hint, hint). It’s an interesting thing about Barbi. She is really good in the ring and can really go. But she doesn’t necessarily do a lot of moves. She does a lot of stalling and comedy before she gets into the work. Her ring style is geared towards a wide range of crowds. This match had my favorite finish of the night. Barbi had Starr in the sharpshooter, and Starr was really struggling. Great drama and great finish.
Winner: Hayden
Eighth match: Tim Storm (c) vs. Mike Foxx vs. Byron Wilcott
At first this started out as Storm vs. Foxx. I put my pen down and enjoyed. There were two legends in the history of Texas just doing their thing. I remember in his book Terry Funk referred to it as “the dance.” It was a total thing of beauty. Then Byron Wilcott got on the mic and that guy has such a good voice. He is so well-spoken on the mic. He’s also a great heel and knows how to make the crowd hate him. There was one really scary moment in the match, but Byron got up and was moving. It was a really good match.
Winner: Storm
Main event: Kyra Myra vs. Barbi Hayden
By this time, both wrestlers had worked their tails off. It was announced it was a No Holds Barred/Falls Count Anywhere match. So they did a totally wild brawl. It didn’t go out into the crowd quite like I thought it would. But somehow Barbi found a “fun-noodle” and they started whacking each other with it. Added to bucket list: Getting whacked by Barbi Hayden with a fun noodle. It was just kind of a formality until Kyra won.
Winner: Kyra
All in all… What a GREAT crowd. They soaked up every minute and were wild. I like the decision for Kyra to start off with the championship. She’s the hometown girl. But I think if she loses it rather quickly, to somebody like Barbi or Jen Alise, I can see them drawing some money in the pursuit of Kyra trying to get that belt back. I totally love the country atmosphere of it all. It was a really good experience.
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We open with Mr. John Laurenitis coming to the ring. Cole says there are rumors that Vince is very satisfied w/Johnny Ace’s job. Lawler says the rumor is Vince is very unhappy w/Johnny Ace.
Vince comes out just as Johnny introduces himself. He gives the duck-walk as the crowd pops huge. Johnny offers a handshake.
“I’m not gonna shake your hand, I don’t know where that hands’ been!” – Vince McMahon
Vince wants one reason not to fire Johnny’s pencil-neck butt. Johnny responds “people power,” and botches a line-referring to RAW’s”100th” episode coming up. Johnny empowers the people, and they love him for it. Johnny lists the things he and Vince have in common, while the crowd chants “FIRE JOHNNY!”
Vince rings up Brock Lesnar and the two separate lawsuits that followed his signing (Author’s Note: CONTINUITY! Boom) Vince also brings up Johnny – true story – hiring the WRONG one legged wrestler.
Johnny puts the Brock debacle on Triple H, and Vince changes the subject. He calls resigning the Big Show a “horrible investment” that “hasn’t performed,” up to expectations “since 1998.” Johnny argues that the show will deliver at NO Way Out, and claims the entire locker room sees him as a friend.
Cue Sheamus
Vince intros Sheamus to Johnny; Johnny congratulates Sheamus on being World Champion (?) Sheamus says it sounds sincere. He says Johnny is the kind of friend who fines you half a million dollars because he can, and then begs Vince…
“On behalf of the entire WWE, kick Johnny out on his arse!” – Sheamus
(Side Note: “Fire Johnny,” trending worldwide)
Johnny is insulted, and demands Sheamus stay in the ring and wait for Johnny to send out someone to kick his ass. Vince adds that this and every match made tonight better impress him or Johnny will be fired. Johnny storms off and Vince rides Johnny’s motorized wheel chair up the ramp, and shoves it off the stage.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with Sheamus in the ring. We recap last Smackdown showing how Del Rio suffered a concussion in his match with the great Kahli, explaining why Del Rio won’t be wrestling Sheamus at No Way Out.
SHEAMUS VS TENSAI
I’ll give you a blow by blow in my next post. Here I’ll just say it’s a quick brawl with lots of Knees, forearms, head butts, and a few high spots. They take turns overpowering each other and Tensai hits his double choke-slam finisher for a two count. Sheamus brings the Brogue-kick out of nowhere for the three-count.
WINNER: SHEAMUS
We go backstage w/Vince, Jonny, and Teddy. Vince refers to Tensai’s loss as “strike one,” and asks Johnny what his great idea is to replace Del Rio at the PPV. Vicki Guerrero enters and mentions that there are two former champions on the roster, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, who could face Sheamus in a triple threat. Vince says it’s a great idea and Johnny will take it under advisement… unless he has a better idea. Johnny passes the buck to Teddy Long. Teddy mentions there are actually four former champions on the roster – including Kahli and Christian. Teddy suggests a four way with the winner being named number one contender. Vince thinks it a great idea. Johnny says that’s just what he was gonna suggest, and sends Teddy to get some coffee. Johnny offers Vince a fist bump, but Vince refuses.
“You’ve got small hands.”- Vince McMahon
COMMERCIAL
We come back to Tensai beating the hell out of his second, Sakamoto. Sakamoto is battered and tossed all over the ringside area. I’m guessing Sakamoto won’t be coming back anytime soon.
Cole and King hype the 1000th episode coming up. We get a look back at July 13, 2009. Seth Green guest stars on RAW, teaming w/Cena and Triple H in the main event. Seth remembers the night fondly and hopes for another shot.
We go to Matt Striker interviewing R-Truth. Truth talks about how “Little Jimmy,” was traumatized by last week’s fight w/Big Show and drove him crazy with the crying all night. He tells Jimmy to “straighten up.” He gives Cena a vote of confidence at the PPV, but gets clocked out of nowhere by the Big Show.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with a recap of the KO.
Our next match is a mixed tag team match. Santino Morella is out first, and we recap Santino beating Ricardo Rodriguez on Smackdown three weeks ago.
Back to the ring, Divas Champ Layla is out next, followed by Beth Phoenix dragging Ricardo to ringside.
SANTINO/LAYLA VS BETH PHOENIX/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
The girls handle the serious action, but Ricardo is the star here, playing the goof role as well as Santino ever did, even going so far as to run himself into the ring-post trying to escape Santino. Beth wins with the glam-slam, and Ricardo mocks Santino. Santino rips off Ricardo’s shirt, revealing a JUSTIN BIEBER t-shirt underneath. Ricardo runs off with Santino/Layla laughing at him.
WINNERS: SANTINO/LAYLA
Backstage, David Otunga tries to weasel his way into Johnny’s spot, should he get fired. Vince shoots him down with a few choice words about brown-nosers, back-stabbers, and lawyers. Kofi comes in and gets up in Otunga’s face, wanting payback on Show. Johnny comes in saying R-Truth is hurt badly. Kofi gets in Johnny’s face demanding a fight with Show. Johnny makes it a cage match. Vince is impressed.
COMMERCIAL
“Daniel Bryan, C.M. Punk, Kane, clearly one of these superstars is not like the other, and I am the first to admit it. I am nothing like C.M. Punk and Kane. You see, C.M. Punk and Kane both have a weakness, in the form of a 95 lbs. distraction named AJ. Now in Punk’s case, it’s all about Jealousy. Punk is jealous because I proved I am a superior wrestler when I made him tap out. So now, he’s trying to get with my ex girlfriend, in an attempt to make me jealous. It’s pathetic. And Kane… thinks it’s getting to second base, when a woman looks him in the eyes, and doesn’t vomit. You see, C.M. Punk and Kane are both obsessed with a woman who, let’s face it, is still in love with Daniel Bryan.” – Daniel Bryan
“And quite frankly, how can you blame her? I mean, she had the opportunity, for a split second of her life, to be with something as great, as all of this.” –Daniel Bryan
Huge yes chant.
“Once you go Bryan, there’s no sense in tryin’.” – Daniel Bryan.
Bryan ends with a quick Q&A session, will he win the WWE title at No Way Out? YES! YES! YES!
Cue C.M. Punk.
Punk comes down the ramp and sticks up for AJ. He says AJ is actually pretty cool, and WAY out of Bryan’s league outside the ring. Inside, Bryan’s nowhere near Punk’s league. Punk sums up the Kane situation, saying its all come down to a match with everything on the line, just how he likes it.
“One of two things is gonna happen, either I’m gonna beat the deranged, out of his mind freak, or I’m gonna beat Kane.” – C.M. Punk.
Bryan says he used to respect Punk, but he changed, pandering to everybody, calling himself the voice of the voiceless…
“There’s a reason these people are voiceless, they have nothing intelligent to say.” – Daniel Bryan
Bryan calls Punk a sellout. Punk mentions Bryan’s new t-shirt. Punk says he got to the top without compromising himself, and calls Bryan a “goat-faced moron.”
The crowd responds with the Goat-Face chant.
Punk says he’ll give Bryan a wake-up call, at No Way Out, with the Go to Sleep.
Cue Kane.
Kane reminds us he’s set fire to J.R., electrocuted Shane McMahon’s testicles, and Tomb stoned a priest.
Cue AJ.
AJ gets the mike. She says she’s looked into Kane’s eyes and seen he really has a heart.
“You gotta looove crazy chicks.” – C.M. Punk.
(Side Note: Goat face trending worldwide)
She says she hasn’t gotten over Daniel, and Punk’s the coolest guy she ever met. She says she knows the best man will win at No Way Out.
Cue Johnny
Johnny, from the tron, makes a tag team match, Bryan and Kane vs. C.M. Punk… and AJ.
Recap of Vince/Johnny face off at the start
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, watching Jerry Lawler try out the new Domino’s Pizza Tracker App for the I-pod.
Yeah
Christian comes out for the four-way. Kahli comes out next. Cole and King credit him with Del Rio’s concussion, setting up this match. Vicki Guerrero introduces Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger next.
CHRISTIAN VS KAHLI VS DOLPH ZIGGLER VS JACK SWAGGER
Cole and King argue over who gets credit for this match – Teddy or Johnny – while Kahli dominates the match with head butts and slaps to Ziggler’s chest. Swagger clips the leg, Ziggler gets a drop kick, and Christian hits a frog splash. All three men pin/eliminate Kahli.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Christian in control, until Ziggler gets a drop-kick. Ziggler/Swagger get in some double-teaming; until Ziggler gets tossed out. It’s Christian vs. Swagger for a few moments, with Swagger working Christian’s ankle, until Christian hits the kill-switch, and Ziggler steals the pin on Swagger.
Ziggler and Christian trade near-falls and highspots, until Christian lands on his bad ankle and Dolph hits a Zig-Zag for a three count.
WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER
Ziggler walks up the ramp, meeting face to face with Sheamus. They trade some jaw-jacking as we go backstage.
Nattie Neidhart reminisces with Vince about his Wrestlemania match with Brett Hart, and tries to get her whole family a spot on the show. Vince gives her the slip. The Funk-a-dactyls come up to Vince and try to get Brodus Clay back on RAW. Vince refuses, but the girls get him to dance with them.
“Somebody Call My Mama!” – Vince McMahon
Back to the ring, Ryback has two more jobbers to kill.
RYBACK VS WILLARD FILLMORE/RUTHERFORD P.S. HAYES
BEST JOBBER NAMES EVER!
Fillmore and Hayes turn the tables on Ryback by making him wait for them to get to the ring. Ryback power-bombs Rutherford a few times, while Fillmore makes a run for it. Ryback cuts him off with the clothesline and tosses him back in. He ends this with his finisher while the crowd chants “Goldberg.”
WINNER: RYBACK
COMMERCIAL
We come back to see Vinnie Mac in da back with Hornswoggle, watching his JR impression on last Friday’s Smackdown. He does one too, and sends Horny off.
Cue John Cena; Vince brings up Cenas Wrestlemania loss. Cena brings up Vince’s loss to Hogan, Shane, Brett, Vince changes the subject and asks him not to help Kofi against Big Show. Cena agrees, and urges Vince to fire Johnny Ace. Cena leaves and Otunga comes back in. Vince tells him no one likes a kiss ass, then turns to say “no offense,” to someone behind him, camera pans to Steven Regal.
STEEL CAGE MATCH: KOFI KINGSTON VS BIG SHOW
Kofi comes out and enters the cage.
COMMERCIAL
We come back to watch the Big Show come out. Cole recaps the Big Shows’ path of destruction and blames John Cena for the Shows’ attitude.
Kofi jumps show but from that point on, it’s little more than a glorified squash as Show smashes Kofi into the cage, tosses him like a ragdoll, and crushes him under foot. Show shifts his focus to glaring at the crowd and taunting them. At one point, Show tosses Kofi into the cage; Kofi springs up and goes for the top. Show charges the cage and Kofi leaps over him, following up with “trouble in paradise,” spin kick that gets Show down. Kofi goes for the door twice but gets dragged back in by the ankle. Show blocks a kick and puts Kofi out with the WMD punch.
While the ref checks to see if Kofi can continue, Show gingerly exits the cage, taking long pauses to emphasize how easily he could have left at anytime.
WINNER: BIG SHOW
In the back, Johnny smiles.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with Sin Cara making his entrance.
SIN CARA VS CURTIS HAWKINS
Sin Cara dominates with high-flying take-downs and a spinning body press over the top to the outside. Hawkins takes over with a baseball slide out the ring, hooking Cara by the ankle and dragging him to the floor. Hawkins in control briefly, but Sin Cara hits his springing elbow, and plants Hawkins face first to the mat with his head-scissors take down.
WINNER: SIN CARA
Commercial
We come back to a rundown of the No Way Out card. Then we go back stage where Daniel Bryan is stretching. Vince comes in to ask his opinion about something. He goes into an analogy about judging a book by its cover, and Bryan buying groceries; I have no idea where he was going with it. Bryan mentions he was fired once before, then came back to prove Vince wrong. He compares himself to Vince, saying they’re both self-made success stories. Vince reminds Bryan he lost his title at Wrestlemania in 18 seconds.
We come back to Dolph Ziggler’s favorite RAW memory, the very first show.
Back in the ring, we’re told Johnny invited a former RAW main event talent to compete in this next match. Heath Slater in the ring says we’ve got a current superstar right in front of our face. He starts shouting that it’s “Slater Time.”
No; “IT”S VADER TIME!”
HEATH SLATER VS VADER!
Out comes Big Van Vader! The crowd comes alive, chanting for Vader every damn minute!
“Welcome Back!”
“You Still Got It!”
“VADER BOMB!”
Slater gets in a few shots but the match is never in doubt. Vader ends it with the Splash off the second rope.
WINNER: VADER
We take a look at a recent “Be a Star,” event featuring Stephanie McMahon and David Otunga speaking to school kids against bullying.
We go to Punk/AJ getting set for their match. Punk says this will be a glorified handicap match, and tells AJ to hold back and “don’t do anything crazy.” He says their advantage is they trust each other. AJ adds they “really like each other.” AJ sneaks in a kiss before leaving.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back to see Kane make his entrance. We get a recap of Kane vs. Sheamus last Friday on Smackdown, where AJ made eyes at Kane, setting him up for a boot to the face.
Bryan comes out, followed by Punk and AJ.
C.M. PUNK/AJ VS DANIEL BRYAN/KANE
It’s a surprisingly brief match, starting off with Punk fighting Kane and Bryan. The highlight is AJ getting tagged in by accident, facing off with Kane. She seems worried at first, and then she gives Kane the smile. Then she skips-literally-SKIPS around Kane a few times, JUMPS IN HIS ARMS LIKE A GIRLFRIEND WELCOMING HIM HOME AND KISSES HIM LONG AND HARD! Kane is confused – join the club – and tags in Bryan. He leaves. AJ tags in Punk, Bryan runs right into a kick and forearm shot. Bryan goes down and Punk scores the flying elbow for a three count. After the match, Kane, Punk, and Bryan all look confused, while AJ sits Indian style in the ring, smiling at Punk.
WINNERS: C.M. PUNK/AJ
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, and Vince is heading for the ring with security in tow. Vinnie opens up pandering to the Hartford crowd and calls out Johnny.
Johnny Ace comes out. He doesn’t appreciate Vince destroying his scooter, but promises he wouldn’t think of putting his hands on Vince.
“These Security aren’t for me, they’re for you.” – Vince McMahon
Vince says the security detail will march someone right out of his business. Johnny argues the WWE universe needs him. Vince is just about ready to make his decision when the Big Show comes out.
Show admits Johnny made mistakes, but the one thing he did right was give Show an Iron Clad contract with a “no cut” clause. Show can do or say whatever he wants and if he gets fired, Vince has to pay him millions of dollars to do nothing for many years. Show says Johnny isn’t the one to blame for all this, Vince is. Show blames Vince for all the years of being part of a “dog and pony show,” and tells him he needs to worry about his golden boy, John Cena.
The music hits, and Cena comes out. Cena runs down the list of everyone Show blames for making him an “entertainer,” and how the one guy he should blame is Johnny Ace. Cena admits Show’s got everything he could want, but, he asks, what will he do if he loses? What will he do knowing that he has to show up every night and admit to everybody they were right about him?
Vince chimes in here, saying he’ll be sitting next to Johnny at No Way Out and if Show loses, Johnny is fired.
Show goes after Cena, security tries to pull them apart, but they get tossed. Cena unloads on Big Show, Johnny Ace grabs Cena. Vince grabs Ace. Big Show clocks Vince.
Johnny sends Show to the back, while Cena tries to get help for Vince; and RAW ends with a trainer calling in emergency help, for an unconscious Vince.
Happy Easter everyone! Hope everyone has a good day today. Welcome to a Super-Sized edition of Random Randomness, complete with a surprise at the end (well sort of): (more…)
