Tag Archive: Kendrick

  1. Impact Wrestling 10/20 – Pintnoir review

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    And Hillbilly Jesus cried…..

    Getting ahead of myself. After what should of been the greatest PPV of the year, but instead turned into false expectations and lukewarm matches (except for Austin Aries vs Kendrick, and Lynn/RVD) we have the aftermath.

    Impact Wrestling starts with a Sting promo, which leads the former insane icon to call out Hogan. Hogan comes out and gives props to Stinger for the assist in getting back on the right track. He talks on about how it wasn’t Bischoff’s fault for what happened and he takes responsibility for his actions for being a follower instead of a leader.  After Hogan leaves, in steps Dixie Carter. She goes on how Sting warned her 18 months ago about Bischoff/Hogan’s plan. Sting accepts her apology and is given the task as…Mick Foley’s Job?? Anyway he’s appointed in charge of Impact Wrestling. But Angle steps out next. He talks about how Dixie being back doesn’t make him happy and how he’s the world champion and will make decisions. Out steps Roode, he tells Kurt that he screwed him and Angle agrees telling Bobby he was a threat and couldn’t let him win. (Nice job making him look threatening) Tells Roode that when they signed the contract Angle took advice from Hogan/Bischoff and put in a no rematch clause.

    And just as Kurt is about to mockingly steal Storm’s trademark line guess who’s music hits, James Storm says that since Roode can’t get his rematch he instead volunteers himself. Sting steps in and makes it official. Storm gives Angle the Shade eyes before saying “Sorry about your damn luck!”

    Okay for it being what it was that whole segment including commercial breaks (which there where two) Lasted 40 minutes in length. By the time we came back to the show with the Knockout Tag match it was 44 after the hour. Sorry about being a watch Nazi but that was long. That could’ve of been resolved in backstage segments.

    Whatever. We have the Knockouts Tag match with former MIA Tara.  She and Ms Tessmacher have a match against the TTLV or as I all them Love and Winter with the titles on the line.  After a decent match which besides Love’s attempts at offense was capitalized with Tessmacher flying throw the air Ricky Dragon style (flying crossbody) on Winter for the three. She is working her butt off for the respect of the fans without all the push behind her.

    The Promos in no particular order include: Hogan being cornered in the parking lot by Immortal, Bischoff tells Hogan to face him like a man in the ring later.

    Velvet Sky talks about everything she has went through to get the knockouts title. Which includes clips of her as the heel team the beautiful people alongside Madison Rayne holding the knockout tag titles while laughing heel like. Of course this is followed by her narration of being picked on as a child and through school and how she decided she would never allow that to happen again and to fight for everything she wants. This must include her putting bags on people who were not considered beautiful and spraying hairspray in peoples faces?

    Eric Young is doing a photo shoot when Robbie E and Rob Terry confront him. Robbie E wants the television title which Eric obliges on the condition that Rob Terry doesn’t interfere or Eric will get his big time television friends to help him, this is before mentioning Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. (Sigh)

    Abyss takes on Gunner. Gunner cuts an okay promo in which he describes how bad ass he is this is before Abyss comes out and destroys him. Gunner runs away to the back. Abyss wins by countout. Backstage Gunner runs into Immortal and tells them “That wasn’t Abyss out there, that was the monster”. They blow him off and proceed to take out Hogan.

    In the ring Bischoff talks and eventually slaps Hogan only to cause Hogan to point his finger which the crowd chants “YOU” before Eric runs and Immortal runs in. Sting flies in with two baseball bats and scares off Immortal. Bischoff while walking up the ramp bumps into his son who he berates and even rips off his shirt revealing a Bischoff tattoo over his heart. Garrett B punches his dad before giving Hulk the thumbs up.

    Velvet Sky comes out with the Knockouts belt. Talks about the sacrifice she put in and blah blah blah. Karen with Traci come out. First Karen has Traci removed from the arena before moving forward with her plan to physical hurt Velvet. Out comes Madision Rayne. While Velvet is distracted by her a returning Gail Kim runs in and ambushes her from behind. Soon both women Kim and Rayne are beating the tar out of Velvet before all three hug.

    And finally we have the conclusion of the program, which include the best 6 minutes in main event history and this includes Jeremy Borash’s introductions of the wrestlers. Welcome Time Nazi, from Midwest time. From 9:50-9:56pm, We have Kurt Angle VS James Storm. But before that we have the Roode pep talk about how Storm’s been preparing for this a long time. Anyway when the bell rings at 9:54pm and Kurt starts beating on Storm in what looks like a not so typical Kurt Angle match getting Storm into the corner before the ref pulls him off twice well on the second attempt Storm busts out the Last Call AKA Super kick and floors Angle for the 3, all by 9:56pm.

    What a way to win the title. I know that being a time nazi is not fun but Kurt mentioned in the earlier promo from the opening of the show that him and Roode went for 30 minutes, which means Angle is slowly losing take of time. Because from my recollection it was more like 14 minutes. But who’s counting.

    After a brief celebration in which Storm tries to hand Roode the belt which he respectfully declines. We close out at 10:01pm. Bound For Glory is TNA’s Wrestlemania, Starrcade and so on  but after Thursday all it really says is that no fan needs to waste money on the program because they can watch a painfully talkative show with a face finish for free. Oh yeah since Impact is being lazy so am I. Here is my one picture.

    Sorry about my damn luck!

  2. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 10-06

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    Here is another rousing edition of Pintnoir’s Impact Wrestling Review. We’re a little over 10 days away from Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle at Bound for Glory. Beer Money comes to the ring to tell the fans in Knoxville, TN (Yes in a actual arena!) that they will get a show tonight that neither man will bring nothing less than 100%, which Roode makes Storm promise is exactly what is going to be done. Here’s to another actual good closing match.

    Promo: Sting see’s a wall picture of a clown and kicks into joker mode. (God, I hope after BFG, the insane icon goes back to being just “the icon”)

    If only we could.

    Gunner comes out to the ring to face Kazarian after his attack on him last week. A decent match which ends in Gunner putting Kaz in the hospital with an arm bar submission maneuver. Essential Gunner wins the match but since he wouldn’t release the hold the victory went to Kaz.

    Anderson comes out to shoot an in ring promo about how his “assholes” have his back. This talk prompts Bully Ray to come out and in typical heel fashion leads to Ray saying that he has beaten Anderson enough and will not give him another chance. Anderson entices Ray like a dog being given a treat with the prospect of a falls counts anywhere match. Game on.

    A shout out to Community and Anderson's fanbase

    “Let the Pigeon’s loose!” A knockout tag team match is coming up. Bischoff comments on Hulk Hogan’s retirement. Kendrick babbles on while Kid Kash walks behind and decides to kick his ass because he mentioned his name.

    why does he beat on little people? Because he can.

    The Pigeons are on their mark...and getting ready

    Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs Winter (c)/Madison Rayne w/Angelina Love…take on the Sitas and you would have bulk of the entire knockout roster.

    Match is decent when its going. In heelish fashion Angelina interferes not once but twice and on the second try almost costs Winter the match only for Madison to roll in and pin Velvet while holding the trunks. *sidebar* when is this whole roll-up pin from a smaller wrestler on a larger wrestler going to stop being taken a gospel with the knockouts, it really is just embarrassing.

    Kurt Angle and Eric Bischoff are in the back talking about the screw-up Jeff Hardy and how Angle stepping out again to tell him to leave. Eric tells Angle that he’ll handle it.  Cut to the ring Eric calls out Jeff. He calls him on coming out pilled out of his gourd at Victory Road tells him to get gone, in which Hardy responds with a twist o’ fate and a screw you before running into the crowd. Ah, have to love redemption.

    Samoa Joe vs Crimson. Again. What starts as a pretty decent match with Joe dominating and Crimson getting the occasional offense leads to Joe putting Crimson in a modified ankle lock. Which Crimson reverses into a roll up pin. Crimson’s streak continues and Joe is fuming.

    Another Bobby Roode highlight promo where they talk to his mother this time about how he always wanted to be champion. It was good seeing his team Canada days with Scott D’Amore.  Here’s to Roode winning. But first he still has to face Storm.

    Roode vs Storm, a good back and forth with each wrestler scouting the other. Even having a stare off right before a commercial interrupts. (damn commercials with their making money and all.) Superplexes, top rope neckbreakers a missed Last Call from Storm eventually lead to a ref bump with caused Roode to be laid out and Storm on the outside which caused Angle to run in and throw Storm head first into the ring steps, then rolling him into the ring. Roode goes for the pin only getting a two count. This is before he pulls off the Fishermen suplex for the win.

    Hogan’s retirement was its usual cheese that he used over in Vince’s country only this time with a swerve when Sting comes to the ring all crack jokered out and shows footage of Hogan dissing the fans and admitting to snowballing them into buying merchandise and ducking Sting. Hogan is so mad that he challenges Sting not to a match but to a fight with the company on the line. Which of course Hogan regrets.

    A Dawn of a new era

     

     

     

  3. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 9-29

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    Here I am to take over the Impact Wrestling review. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. No Barkley or Daffney to assist.

    Sorry Daff, but the drunk tank you will stay

    We open on Impact and the continuing story of Bobby Roode’s rise to the top. Kurt Angle and Roode exchange words. Is it me or do I see a swerve coming with this whole Roode as champion pursuit?

    I know. I know I will regret this later.

    We now have the 5-man ladder match for the number one contenders match against Austin Aries for the X division gold. After a somewhat cluttered affair, where Aladdin (Kendrick) in all his Disney glory and steals a victory out from under Kid Kash.

    Go Make the street rat proud, Kendrick

    Kaz and Tracy get called out to the ring by The Jarretts, where JJ badmouths Kaz about leaving the company multiple times and how Jarrett kept taking him back despite his flip flopping. He then targets his venom on Ms Brooks for being disrespectful to his wife.  Calling her a “10 cent whore” which causes Kaz to punch Jeff. Soon security or the retired wrestlers brigade come out to separate them. It all comes to a head when Gunner comes out and F5’s Kaz. (Where’s Fourtune?)

    She slept with the owner of the company,

    Ink Inc comes out and gets jumped by Mexican America before a singles match between Hernandez and Jesse Neal could take place. After a swift beating and two big splashes by SuperMex, The Sitas spray paint NWO style on there backs the groups initials.

    Promo Flair argues with Hogan about his announcement and tells him not to do it. (Why again, would Flair care?) Next Promo is the pre match hype for Tara vs Madison for the Queen’s Qualifier’s Match. The winner taking on Velvet, Mickie and Knockout Champion Winter for the title.  Crimson returns.

    Knockouts Queen’s Qualifier Match, Madison Rayne comes out in camo wrestling gear and Tara follows with one half of the now pointless tag belts. “Accessories anyone?” What starts out to be a very promising match….sorry I couldn’t keep a straight face. Soon turns to farce when Earl Hebner gets involve and starts choosing sides. Madison uses her charms to get Earl to make calls on her behalf which leads to an eventual reveal and her luck turns for the worse only for her to win with

    She "slept" with a higher up for her old position, So tell me who is the better hoe?

    her feet on the ropes sealing Tara’s fate as her bitch.

    Even though she won't win they still show that she is an asset, and not a hinderance

    Christopher Daniels brags about his victory over Styles.

    Crimson comes out and calls out Joe. After some back in forth in which Joe calls Crimson his “bitch” a fight ensues which leads to Crimson to be put in the figure four leglock while still suffering from a fractured ankle. But don’t worry Morgan shows to save the day. After a quick clearing of the ring we have the two big men stare each other down until Morgan gives Crimson a friendly man pat on the chest.

    Next we have two underrated superstars Dinero versus Anderson. Let us make it quick. Devon’s kids interfere which causes Devon to come out. While that whole mess is going on we have Anderson in the ring at which point Ray hits him with the Singapore cane which Pope slyly picks up the victory.

    Sappy Roode promo in which I get early vibes of a wrestler’s version of Rocky. Roode makes the usual promises of training and going into BFG and winning the world title.

    Will he have what it takes to beat Apollo Angle for the World Title?

    Main Event: AJ Styles versus Bobby Roode. A really good match leading to Roode winning with a cross-face.

    Hogan comes out to announce his retirement. Or more correctly tease it for next week. Good way to try to boost ratings with a fake RETIREMENT promo. Sting listens back stage calling Hogan a academy award winning actor, Sting closes the show promising to be in Knoxville, Tennessee for the announcement.

    You know your announcement is on thin ice when even the Joker calls you on it.

    So that is all for Impact for this week. See you next week when we witness a Knoxville audience.