Tag Archive: Kick To The Head

  1. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 08/27/2012

    2 Comments

    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF. JACK SWAGGER – Swagger looks strong for about 30 seconds, but winds up just more meat on the plate. The turning point is Swagger landing ugly, face first.

    LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF. NATTIE NIEDHART – Before the match gets going, Vicki comes out to demand this match wrap up quickly so she can make an announcement. She actually spends the whole match on the ring apron, looking bored and rolling her eyes, great way to sell a match. One high spot is Nattie and Layla doing the old Hardy spot where the face (Layla) tries a baseball slide kick, and the heel (Nattie) traps her in the ring apron. Layla ends this with a simple kick to the head. Vick dismisses Layla in a condescending manner and Layla just goes.

    Vicki demands that the board of directors take action against the “mentally unstable” child and put Raw in the hands of an adult, like her. AJ Lee responds by skipping out to the ring, and cracking Vicki in the face. (And the Reason Layla couldn’t do that?) Vicki high-tails it out of there while AJ Lee smiles.

    JOHN CENA DEF. THE MIZ (I-C CHAMPION) – Josh Mathews joins us at ringside. The match is slow, dull, and by the numbers. Miz focuses on striking John in the head/face with strikes and kicks, Cena makes his superman comebacks. The match ends when Cena hits four out of five moves of doom and gets the three.

    SANTINO DEF. HEATH SLATER – Heath Slater gets the upper hand with a cheap shot after an “air guitar” duel, and then goes all out with punching, stomping, knees, and choking. Slater goes up on the ropes, Santino rolls away. Slater goes to the other corner, Santino rolls out again. Slater gets caught in a cradle for a two-count, and Santino takes over. Santino sets the Cobra, but the sax music hits and Aksana is out to distract the cobra. Not Santino, just the cobra. The cobra breaks his trance long enough to strike Slater and Santino gets a three-count, while the cobra stares at Aksana. Yes I did just write that.

    BRODUS CLAY/SIN CARA DEF. DAMIAN SANDOW/CODY RHODES – Sin Cara comes out to NO reaction. Cody takes control by pulling Sin Cara down hard off the ropes. The heels take turns stomping on Sin Cara until he hits the head scissors and makes the tag to Brodus, who squashes Cody until Sandow makes the save. Sandow goes after Cara but goes over and out. Cara hits a flying body-press while Cody goes sternum first into Clay’s cranium. Clay hits the splash and gets a three-count. Match ends in a dance party with the kids at ringside.

    R-TRUTH DEF. DANIEL BRYAN BY COUNT-OUT – The crowd starts in with the “goat-face” chants and Bryan responds with deep breathing. Highlight of the match is Bryan giving “little jimmy” a fist bump. Match ends when Truth tricks Bryan into a round of “dueling crazy” outside the ring. Truth gets the crowd going with the “yes” chant and Bryan gets counted out while going “no” up in some fans’ face.

    SHEAMUS/RANDY ORTON DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER/ALBERTO DEL RIO – Faces start out strong, but it’s soon Del Rio and Ziggler pounding on Orton. Orton finally tags Sheamus who goes all out on Ziggler. While the ref is distracted, Roberto Rodriguez – Del Rio’s personal announcer – tosses Ziggler his MiTB briefcase. Orton catches him with the chin-lock backbreaker and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the win.

    ZACK RYDER DEF. DAVID OTUNGA – The highlight here is Kane coming out to ringside and Josh Mathews running for his life. Cole gives Kane plenty of room as Kane takes a seat at the table. Otunga actually dominates this match with clubbing forearms and neck-locks, but it ends when Ryder ducks a clothesline and hits the Rough-Ryder for the three-count. Kane rushes the ring and grabs Ryder by the neck, then lets him go. He decides to choke-slam Otunga instead.

    C.M. PUNK DEF. JERRY LAWLER (CAGE MATCH: AS CHOSEN BY WWE UNIVERSE VIA TWITTER POLL) – The brilliance of this match is Punk revisiting Lawler’s feud with Andy Kaufman and playing BOTH roles. As Punk enters the cage, Cole reads his Twitter feed, which has Punk quoting Kaufman’s legendary “New King of Memphis,” promo almost verbatim. Then, in a nod to the king, Punk allows Lawler the first shot. Lawler plays nervous, but eventually lets it go on Punk’s kisser. Punk sells it BIG, even cowering in the corner. However Punk takes control with kicks to Lawler’s shins, backing him into the corner, then he scores a neck-breaker. From then on, the match is mostly Punk bullying Lawler; stomping on him and literally kicking him while he’s down. Punk goes up on the ropes, but Lawler knocks his feet out from under him, and Punk takes a crotch-shot to the turn-buckle. Punk stops Lawler from escaping but Lawler sends Punk face-first into the cage. Lawler takes over with the big right hands and hits his fist-drop for a two count. Punk is bleeding, but stops Lawler from escaping the cage. Punk finishes this with a ROCK-BOTTOM into the Anaconda vice. Lawler taps out.

    After the match, Punk grabs a lock and chain from under the ring and locks himself in w/Lawler and a mike, demanding Lawler call him the best in the world. Lawler refuses, and Punk pummels him with elbow shots. Cena tries to make the save, but can’t get in the cage. He yells for someone to get the cage up. When they finally do, Cena dives for Punk, who heads for higher ground, while Cena checks on Jerry.
    RAW ends with Punk walking out with his belt, and Cena hunched over a battered Lawler.

    HIGHLIGHTS

    The build-up for the main event started with Lawler calling out Punk and demanding an apology for last week. Punk responds by throwing Lawler’s whole career under a bus. From beating up no-names in Memphis, to a slap fight with a comedian, (Kaufman) to losing at Wrestlemania. Punk challenges Lawler to a fight later tonight. Lawler will think about it. A few segments later, Lawler agrees, saying he’s not the best in the world… and neither is Punk.

    We had a series of skits with Bryan in Anger Management classes, building up to his match with R-Truth, that managed to be funnier than you would expect. In the first one, Bryan calmly states his objections to being in these classes, when a small boy in a goat mask walks in. Bryan goes off on the kid, reducing him to tears. The “doctor” running the class explains this was his son, in costume for a school play. The doc tells his son that Bryan is “a very sick man.” Some guy named “Harold” tries to console Bryan.

    “Don’t touch me, Harold.” – Daniel Bryan

    In the second, Bryan responds to Harold whining about his boss with a brief recap of his program with AJ and Kane – who just happens to be the late patient. (Saw THAT coming)

    The last segment has Kane going over (almost) his entire back-story, briefly mentioning Katie Vick even. The shrink sends everyone home assigning them to work on an “anger collage.” Bryan chases him out, berating him the whole time. Harold thanks Kane for sharing, Kane responds by throttling him and snarling “You’re welcome.” Kane made this segment work better than it should have.

    We took a look back at Triple H’s career, leading up to his big promo where he would let us know if he was going to retire or not. He managed to kill over ten minutes without confirming anything, but he was gracious to the fans…

    “Thank you, for letting me, play the game.” – Triple H.

    RYTMANS RANT

    Is there a reason every other person is working a crazy gimmick? We got R-Truth with “little Jimmy,” Daniel Bryan with anger management issues, Kane…duh, and AJ going nuts anytime someone suggest she’s… going nuts. I’m sorry but this comes off as lazy. You can’t come up with anything else? Is Josh going to go nuts because he doesn’t want wrestlers to attack him? Is Cole going to explain the last year or so of douchey behavior was temporary insanity?

    It seems “crazy” is the default whenever WWE can’t figure out what to do with someone. AJ was supposed to be a “manic pixie dream girl next door.” Apparently that didn’t fly, so she’s crazy. R-Truth was angry about WWE putting no faith in him and tried to imply that they didn’t want a black champion. That hit too close to home, so he went “crazy.” Daniel Bryan wants respect for what he can do in the ring? He must be crazy. Kane…
    Well that worked out, still…

    You know, mental illness is a serious, real problem. Some of the fans out there might have someone in their family who suffers from this. You could potentially alienate a huge percentage of the fan base, or maybe just make a whole lot of casual fans uncomfortable with your product.

  2. Pintnoir review-TNA iMPACT 8 9 12

    Leave a Comment

    We begin with a video recap of the Claire & AJ and Aces & 8’s storylines.

    Bully Ray heads down to the ring and pulls out his ‘Twittah machine.’ He bullie’s for a mic and asks if we know who he is. He announces that he’s the leader of the Bully Nation. He says Joseph Park taught him that if there’s enough evidence against someone, then they’re guilty. He says Storm is guilty of being involved with Aces & 8’s and tonight he will beat Storm and get his 7 points in the BFG Series. (Whatever did happen to the Joseph Parks, Bully Ray confrontation?)

    Storm’s comes out.

    Storm says had nothing to do with the attacks because he is more concerned with winning his title back. He draws an imaginary line in the ring and says he will give Bully to the count of 3 to do something.  Bully backs out onto the apron.

    They are interrupted by the masked men on the big screen and their voices have been distorted. They say they are impressed with The Insane Icon issuing them an open invitation but they are going to do it on their time.

    Bully gets in the ring and accuses Storm again. They cut him off to a sudden commercial.

    They re-play the Aces & 8’s video from moments ago.

    Backstage, The Pope talks about his BFG Series match at Hardcore Justice 2012 this Sunday. The Pope hasn’t actually been pimping anything but the mat since his return to iMPACT and I watched The Dark Knight Rises and didn’t remember seeing him during the prison break scene.

    Mr. Anderson comes out to do commentary

    .

     RVD vs. Magnus

    Magnus clotheslines RVD over the top. Magnus follows and puts the boots to him. Magnus throws him back in and gets 2. Magnus catches RVD and slams him for another 2. RVD hits a kick to the head and springs off the ropes for another kick to the head. RVD hits a Superkick but is caught with a clothesline in the corner.

    RVD hits a 5 Star Frogsplash for the win. There goes Magnus’s claim to the series and whatever came of his Xplosion championship stipulation where he can challenge the champion of any division for a title. Somebody please remember this.

    7 points RVD

    Bobby Roode talks backstage with Jason Hervey, and his lawyers aren’t happy with the contract so there may not be a main event at Hardcore Justice. So wouldn’t this make A Double happy seeing as how he is the Champion?

    Sore Loser! and I win!!!

    -Claire’s baby shower from last week

    TNA Tag Team Championship: Garett Bischoff & Devon vs. Kazarian & Daniels (c)

    Devon starts off with Kaz and quickly tags Garett. Kaz tags Daniels in and Garett gets 2. Devon tags back in and drops a big leg for 2. Garett tags back in and they double team Daniels. Kazarian distracts Garett from the apron and Daniels capitalizes. Kazarian tags in and gets 2. More quick tags from the champs.

    Garett manages a tag to Devon who cleans house. Devon hits a Rock Bottom on Kazarian and tosses Daniels out. Devon hits a spear on Kaz and a spinebuster on Daniels. Kaz uses the belt behind the ref’s back and Daniels gets the pin.

    *This is one of those matches where my dad (who looks strikingly like Devon) was watching as Daniels was struggling with Garett and looked at me and said why are we watching this its so fake. And I responded its not Devon, Daniels or Kaz’s fault blame Garett. He was still not impressed.

    Winners by pin and STILL TNA Tag Team Champions: Daniels & Kazarian

    -video of Sting and Brooke’s meeting from last week

    Sting calls out Aces & 8’s and says he has given Brooke the night off.

    Robbie E. and Robbie T. are in the ring, there is a table set-up. Robbie E. says he knows nobody thinks he’s going to win the BFG Series but he has 5 points, bro. He says he will win another 20 this Sunday, bro. He says he will do it by putting Jeff Hardy through a table. He shows footage from 3 weeks ago where he beat Hardy. Hardy’s music erupts.

    Hardy gets in the ring and drops Robbie T. Robbie E. tries to back-off but Hardy slaps him and tries to put him through the table but Robbie T. attacks him from behind and powerbombs him through the table.

    Backstage, AJ says he doesn’t remember anything with Claire. He says he doesn’t drink and how bad at sex does someone have to be to not remember being with them?

    Samoa Joe grabs a headset and says nobody is going to stop him from winning the BFG series

    Claire is at ringside again and cheers AJ as he makes his way to the ring.

    BFG Series: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

    Angle gets drilled with a dropkick and goes outside. AJ slingshots over the top with a crossbody.

    Kurt powers AJ into the corner and hits a belly-to-belly as Claire looks-on. Angle applies a headlock. AJ fights out but Angle hits a Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker and back to the headlock. Both men connect with simultaneous clotheslines. AJ gets the offense on the way up off the mat. Angle rebounds and hits a trifecta of Germans.

    AJ counters the Angle Slam and connects with the Pele but Angle gets his shoulder up at the last second. Angle counters the Styles Clash and hits the Angle Slam for 2. AJ gets out of the Angle Lock and hits a German but Angle counters out and applies the Lock again but AJ rolls through. AJ springs off the apron and hits a flying forearm and the Styles Clash but somehow Angle kicks out.

    AJ goes up top but Angle brings him down with a belly-to-belly but AJ kicks out. Angle misses with a moonsault off the ropes in the corner. AJ goes up top for a 450 but Angle gets his knees up and hits the Angle Slam.

    7 points Kurt Angle

    Claire congratulates AJ on his way up the ramp but he keeps walking and we get a close-up of her confused face.

    Aces & 8’s are playing cards. They rundown who all has received the dead man’s hand from them. They say the next target is close and we will all find out who the next victim is.

    Storm and Anderson accuse each other backstage of being behind it all.

    Aries is on the phone backstage talking about Roode threatening not to sign the contract.

    Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

    They go right at it before the bell rings. Kim drops Tessmacher’s throat across the top rope. Gail drops her across her knee and gets 2. Gail steps on Tessmacher’s stomach. Tessmacher mounts a comeback but is shutdown.

    Tessmacher hits a flurry and a clothesline off the corner. She does a Stinkface. Tessmacher brings Gail off the top and hits a facebuster for the win.

    Winner by pin: Miss Tessmacher

    Earl Hebner raises Tessmacher’s arm and they talk. Madison Rayne comes out and she kisses Hebner and he falls out.

    Joseph Park talks.

    Aries and Roode make their way to the Impact Zone.

    They show Kenny King’s win over Zema Ion from last week

    Kenny King video package

    Sting makes his way to the ring. A table is set-up. Sting invites Aces & 8’s to the ring. He moves on and invites Roode and Aries to the ring.

    Aries displays his title and takes a seat. Roode refuses to sit down and Sting asks him what is up with his attitude. Roode asks if Sting’s stupid. He says the contract is his problem. He says the contract states that if he loses to Aries then he doesn’t get a rematch as long as Aries is champ. Roode says Sting has it out for him. Roode says if the language doesn’t change, there will be no main event this Sunday.

    Aries tells him to stop whining. He says he’s worried about a rematch clause because he knows Aries has his number. Aries says they don’t need a contract, they can make a verbal agreement. He proposes that if Roode beats him then he will also forfeit his rematch clause. Sting tells them to shake on it. Each man shakes hands with Sting.

    Roode takes off his coat and starts throwing things and Aries comically mocks his temper and shadows him. Roode offers his hand and Aries shakes it. Aries raises the belt and Roode throws water in his face and runs away. Aries turns the table over but Sting holds him back.

    Storm and Bully make their way to the Impact Zone.

    -Backstage in an interview package, Chavo says he’s here to beat the best. Kid Kash says Chavo’s a cheater.

    -Kash & Gunner will face Chavo & Hernandez this Sunday at Hardcore Justice.

    -Kenny King will face Zema Ion for the TNA X-Division Title.

    -Miss Tessmacher will face Madison Rayne for the Knockouts Title

    BFGFalls Count Anywhere Match for 20 points: RVD, Anderson, Pope, Magnus

    BFGTables Match for 20 points: Hardy, Storm, Bully, Robbie E.

    BFG Ladder Match for 20 points: Styles, Angle, Daniels, Samoa Joe

    BFG Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

    Both men look behind them for Aces & 8’s. Storm hits clotheslines but is unable to take Bully off his feet. Bully hits a big boot and knocks Storm down then tosses him out.

    Storm avoids an elbowdrop on the mat. Bully Ray catches him with a boot to the gut and applies a leg lock. Storm reverses it and Bully reaches the ropes. Bully hits a clothesline for 2. Bully hits punches to the head. Storm mounts a comeback with a series of rights and a neckbreaker. Back bodydrop by Storm. Bully launches Storm onto the apron but gets a kick to the back of the head. Bully hits a Rock Bottom for 2.

    Storm fights out of a full nelson and goes up top for a cross body and gets 2. Storm comes off the top and misses with an elbowdrop. Bully hits the Bubba Bomb and gets 2. Bully misses with a back-splash off the top. Storm hits a Codebreaker but Bully avoids the Last Call. Bully hits the Bully 3D Cutter for the win.

    7 points  Bully Ray

    Bully grabs his chain in anticipation of Aces & 8’s. He asks Storm where they are. He says send for them.

    Aces & 8’s appear on the screen and they tell Bully he will see more of them at the PPV.

    Pintnoir out!

     

  3. Delayed NXT season 2 review for 7/13

    Leave a Comment

    We open with a video package of Nexus.

    To the ring Ashley Valence is in the ring with Matt Striker as they take turns introducing the pros. Morrison is selling his beating by Nexus. Laycool is absent.

    They bring out Nexus, who takes seats on the opposite side of the entrance from the pros. Darren Young is absent due to his beating by John Cena

    Barrett says it’s a privlege to be on the show they got their start on. They wish the rookies all the best. He tells the pros they just want to sit back and enjoy the show.
    (more…)

  4. WWE Superstars

    1 Comment

    Hey, everybody! I hope you enjoyed Wrestlemania 26, but now its time for the WWE’s D show (maybe F show…I’m not sure if AM RAW beats Superstars in ratings or not.  I haven’t checked on that.)

    Match 1:  Kofi Kingston and MVP vs Zack Ryder and Carlito

    Kofi and MVP get the win after Kofi hits Carlito with the Trouble in Paradise. 

    Match 2:  William Regal vs Yoshi Tatsu

    Yoshi gets the win with a kick to the head.

    Match 3:  Hart Dynasty vs Caylon Croft and Trent Baretta (The Dudebusters)

    Tyson Kidd forces Baretta to tap out with the Sharpshooter after hitting the Hart Attack.  Hopefully this will be the build for them to become Tag Champs

    Alright, Peeps.  That’s it for this week.  It’s another random Superstars and thus another random results column.

    Peace out

  5. The Final ECW

    Leave a Comment

    This is it. The last episode of ECW and this time it’s unlikely there will be another revival. We’ve got a Unfied Tag Team Title Match featuring Yoshi Tatsi and Goldust challenging Show-Miz and Christian will defend the ECW title against Ezekial Jackson.
    (more…)