Tag Archive: Killer Queen

  1. Pintnoir reviews Impact Wrestling – 3/15/2012 (A match for Anderson)

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    We open with Steve and Bobby walking into the arena (from separate entrances of course). For some reason Roode step out of the pyro room which makes me wonder. We get a vignette of Roode vs Sting going into Victory Road this Sunday.

    James Storm our official TNA redneck comes out to make an inring promo about his eventual confrontation in a steel cage with the aforementioned Roode. I smell a slobber knocker coming this April. Just as Storm’s finishes Bully Ray comes out. He taughts the #1 contender tellling him that he won’t make it to Lockdown. And just when we think a fight is about to break out Ray calls out Gunner to take his licks. After a couple of punches the security groupies rush the ramp to separate the two, during the insueing ruckus Ray gets in a cheap shot.

    Another Bobby Roode vignette about Sting.

    Madison and Gail argue about losing the tag titles which they really weren’t defending, but i digress. They confront Sting who tells them that he’s busy dealing with Roode. He sets up two matches Gail vs Mickie and Madison vs Velvet Sky, Rayne’s match is next.

    Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky:

    Madison composes herself on the ramp before cutting into her Killer Queen gimmick, which by the way needs to change but “hearts” to her anyway. Velvet comes out next shaking her pom poms and just as she is ready to staddle a rope for pigeons, she darts toward Rayne spear first. Early on Sky has the advantage with her assorted moves of doom until Madison gets the upper and due to a ref who can’t keep his hands off the knockout. Then the crowd gets behind Velvet which comes out like a druid chant for a death march. I laugh and die on the inside. No offense to the Madison haters but I’m behind her as her move set and more diversified. Anyway after a rollup by Sky which is reversed into another roll up with tights for the win.

    Crimson is smug backstage bragging about the win over the two Robs, which is as brag worthy as breathing. After Morgan questions Crimson’s motives about winning belts and making money they head out.

    Samoa Joe vs Crimson:

    A short match to show that Crimson/Morgan are on the same page and another loss for Joe with Magnus looking weaker even by comparison when he attempts to attack Morgan on the outside only to get irish whipped into the ring post.

    Austin Aries comes out and shows his X division champion reel and brags about being the longest reigning X Division champion exceeding the previous record of 182 days set by Christopher Daniels. Celebrating aside out comes Zema Ion, after some exchanges about breaking necks and nut hair growth, Ion gives the toast right before he throws a drink in is face. Aries answers back by dousing Ion in the hole bottle ruining his pretty hair.

    Gail Kim vs Mickie James:

    There was promos with Sting going on about crowing and craziness but ehh. Mickie and Gail continue to prove their previous WWE stint match was a fluke which they have been trying to allevate through superior matches. This one is no different. After Gail messes with Mickie’s knee we have a methodical attack which culminates with Mickie making a comeback but Kim out smarting her with a belt to the face. she scores the win. heel syle.

    We have a watercooler or Lemonade talk according to Anderson about his involvement with AJ Styles. Daniels is curious why he’s taking Styles side which I had the same question because the story looked to be going good til last week. When Kazarian went from unwilling pawn to bitter assistant to all an out heel which now makes this story seem trite. But we have a match between the Daniels and Anderson to hype.

    Daniels vs Anderson:

    Anderson knocks off some ring rust with Daniels as he seems to not miss a step. Daniels bumps like a madman. Anderson and Daniels battle and during the melee Chris cuts his cheek. Kazarian comes down to the ring to distract Anderson only for AJ to come to the rescue Daniels gets up only to take a mic check. Anderson wins and prepares for Victory Road.

    Jeff Hardy prattles on about Angle being an Olympic gold medalist. and his creatures. Speaking of Angle

    Garett and Angle have a five minute challenge match which I assume (and you know what they say about assuming) will make Bitchoff (not my words but Angle’s) look good. And I guess that old adiom about is right not only does Garett look good but it also hypes Hardy vs Angle this Sunday when Hardy comes out to save Garett when Angle who’s angry about not beating Garett in time locks him in the ankle lock.

    The Two Robs are interviewed by Wonder Years and talk about the upcoming open invitational. Yeah TV title on the line and the person is random. Here’s to an eventual title change so we can have some actual competiton. One can hope right.

    James Storm vs Gunner:

    Here are two back woods southern wrestlers on the opposing sides of the heel/face tangent. What we have so far is a good match between two competitors with Bully Ray egging on the Gunner. But Gunner gets the job done and by that he takes a Last Call to the face. Making James Storm look strong going into Victory Road.

    Sting and Bobby Roode have their contract signing which is where Roode rips into Sting with all his worth for a good 8 minutes. All the while Sting sits patiently listening untl Bobby turns to leave. Sting flips the table over kicks over the chairs and puts on his makeup and attacks the champion. And while beating on the Roode he applies his trademark black paint to Roode’s face. After Roode scurries out of the ring face ashen from the paint sting gets enpowered by his attack.

    Well here’s to Victory Road.

     

  2. Bound For Glory- A Rant

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    Sorry no pics to entertain. Just a very disappointed feeling. BFG was mediocre to say the least. I watched in quick succession as (this includes a preshow) where two titles are forever tarnished. A bi polar face change. And a good match from two men. One who is known for phoning it in and the other who was with the company before but left. The continued embarrassment of Samoa Joe, which now includes Matt Morgan. This folks was Bound For Glory.

    Lets start with the bad please.

    (bleep) it. The worst abomination known to humanity. If you’re a female this should set you back 200 years, when you ancestors wore corsets and stood quietly by as they had no voting rights. THIS MATCH ALMOST MADE ME UTTER THE MOST HATED (American)TERM THAT BEGINS WITH A “C” AT MY MONITOR.

    We watch Karen Jarrett officiate a debacle of a match. So bad that the Philly crowd was chanting “BORING”! Wheres Mickie James stood in the middle of the ring and shouted with irritated conviction “Come On” Which got a momentary acknowledgement from the crowd. This match is the classically stated overbooking everyone talks about, you have 4 competitors, a special guest referee, Outside interference, and a heel ref bump that leads to a babyface ref coming out to count the three! With all of this the match was still a horrid mess. I honestly believe the crowd only cheered because it was finally over. It would be akin to be a Vietnam war prisoner with the bamboo beneath the finger nails and when they finally finished you congratulated your captors.

    Lets just look at the players.

    Madison Rayne- One of the worst heels in the business, and not in a good way a heel should be bad. Even as she descended the ramp I heard no crowd reaction other than crickets and people getting around to their bathroom breaks. The Killer Queen title fits seeing as how she killed the crowd.

    Velvet Sky- Miss Retcon herself. Who is now a baby-face for no reason other than they had no other popular female “wrestlers” and I use that term loosely. She gets a good pop but that is because she is the lesser of two evils. Men supposedly according to Taz “Let the pigeons loose” in her presence. That is no different than watching your favorite porn star, but you watch her in a non wrestling element, not in a wrestling ring!

    Mickie James- Someone who at least no matter how awkwardly she looks attempts to put on a show. The former stripper attempted to keep the show grounded but was overshadowed by her protege Velvet.

    Finally the Champion Winter, the batshit crazy Lesbian Vampire Brit who spits blood. That would be a long title for a movie. Who came out to confusion. Someone who if she wasn’t saddled with a crap gimmick would be a perfect snobbish heel. But I digress, In all this mess I was actually rooting for Winter! The booking for this match is simple Velvet (shudder) vs Winter w/Angelina. If Sky wins she gets her friend back, and sadly a title. But no we get padding for an already sad match.

    Someone on another site posted how two of the best female wrestlers in the company Tara and Sarita were otherwise pre disposed. Sadly that is the state of the division if you have talent you get buried for looks. Velvet Sky namesake aside is a glorified valet who was given a devalued trinket to a once promising division. A belt I might add two years ago wouldn’t even be considered an option for heel jobber Sky. Amazingly a regime change and a massive exodus later she now has no barrier to the title.

    Anderson and Ray was excellent even with the missed spot. Ray has experience never mined in WWE. The way he turned that crowd against him was gold. He essentially sold Anderson as the fan favorite in a town he helped put on the map.

    Bi-Polar moments astound me in wrestling. First we have Sting go all crazy then we have Hogan after losing to Sting listening to the Hulkamaniacs and changing allegiances taking out all of jobber Immortal? They’ve signed new contracts, Hogan and Bischoff, so now what we have two more years of Hogan now face running around in the Red and Yellow fighting Immortal and Eric Bischoff? So much for the youth movement. Sadly it was quoted that the Hogan change was similar to Return of Jedi, as Luke (Sting) pleaded with Vader (Hogan) to help him in his fight with Immortal (Emperor) yes it was a blatant rip off that even with the crowd reaction Hogan had already ruined it in interviews prior to BFG answering that we (fans) would see the red and yellow soon. Yippee.

    Joe jobbing is enough said for me. Even the fans booed when the winner was declared.

    RVD tried and I mean actually attempted to put on a good match. He won which still shows that back stage politics still work when it comes to Rob.

    The never ending Daniels vs AJ feud is still continuing. The theme music that played during their feud video even made no sense when it came to the lyrics. Title winning before one dies? There was no belt on the line. If that is the case then why not give either one the Television title because god forbid Eric Young isn’t using it. Weak finish ruined this match.

    Preshow on Facebook came across as  one would expect. No title change. Christina Von Eerie or as she is known in TNA as Toxin was ehh. She did her job of awkwardly (there’s that word again) taking out two women motioned to the crowd turned scratched Anarquia’s eyes and depantsed him. Still this tomfoolery is better suited for RAW not for TNA Impact “Where Wrestling Matters, Again”. Bush league at best. Hence why we got it for Free.

    All I can say about the Bobby Roode title match is Bullshit!!!!!!!!! A sad month of hype. A retconned back story (remember Bobby was a JBL style wrestler with money who had Traci Brooks and Eric Young in his back pocket?) I don’t either because he is Rocky Balboa. He is built up and then after a 15 minute match where similar moves were repeated over and over ended with Apollo Creed (Angle) winning in questionable fashion because you know the referee is blind. This is a crazy epidemic in TNA, this blind referee syndrome. At first I thought it was just Earl Hebner but I guess it is hereditary because Brian Hebner let Kurt rob Bobby. Don’t get me wrong Roode was booked all wrong.

    First we have the Bound for Glory Series where we are treated to various contenders who all are given the wink wink of moving forward. Crimson with his undefeated streak looked like a winner but was kayfabe taken out. RVD was screwed by Lynn. Bully Ray just couldn’t get the job done. Gunner tapped. Storm choked. Pope and Joe didn’t stand a chance after their lackluster feud. But there was one man who was waiting for his chance to become the champion, a man that had promised by the end of the year to be TNA World Champion. His name was……Matt Morgan! He was in prime condition to be the next big main event guy. He had paid his dues in the company and was basically homegrown. A WWE Jobber who was stuck with a gimmick no one would want. Who after coming to TNA grew into a fan favorite even when he was a heel. Then an injury happened and he was shelved then taken off the shelf to feud with Joe the perennial wrestler a man creative must love to torment with all the different reinventions they’ve attempted since his loss to Angle. And while they were at it they threw in the “Undefeated” Crimson, Philly and fans were not amused. So what do we have instead? Kurt wins the title from Sting. Aligns with Hogan after some asinine plot point about Dixie knowing Jarrett and Karen were a couple before he did. He turns around and puts down the young talent. A complete U turn from a couple years ago. Roode default wins BFG series and we get a month of Rocky vignettes. And a screw finish that would make Bret Hart blush. Thank you TNA.

    Finally we have Aries vs Kendrick, a match that was first on the show and easily outshined most. The crowd was thoroughly behind Aries who proves once again what kind of presence he brings to any company. Dejected by ROH, WWE and if I remember correctly Chikara but when he returned to Impact Wrestling he cut one simple promo and was a “star” once more. Him having that belt gives more credence to it than a thousand Brian Kendricks. The man who in July saved the division from the Monster Abyss sank into oblivion once Austin Aries came on the scene. Kendrick may be talented but he always came across as a better tag partner than a full fledged solo star. A Marty Jannety who needed his Michaels (Paul London)  Because to make matters worse he is the basic definition of a “vanilla midget” not much of a personality. They give him the Wizard of Odd gimmick the same they gave Amazing Red the color red as his. Coat him in any guise and he is still just vanilla. You have a division that includes Kid Kash, Zima Ion, Alex Shelley,Jesse Sorenson (who needs a better gimmick than a “Alex Riley” FCW run) and if they’re smart Eric Young.  All these guys albeit Sorenson look to be able to run with the ball against Aries. To but asses in seats as it were. Now that the feud is over we can get an Alex Shelley feud with Aries. They have a shared history in the company and beyond.

    Hopefully BFG is an eye opener for management to get their ducks in a row and move past this sub par PPV. This is the Starrcade of TNA make it mean as much. You can’t cheer home grown talent if you don’t push them properly. Look at Hogan for instance for a good year or so in WWF he was the man who worked his way with the crowd to a good build up against a credible heel before winning and defending against Andre and so forth. Meaning he was built up a winner someone the fans could cheer and love. Simple booking where the heels were the heels and the faces were the faces. No retcons. Especially in this internet savvy century.