Hey everybody…I’m back this week for another review of WWE Superstars. Special thanks goes out to Joe for filling in for me last week while I was away. My DVR says Vince McMahon forces Chavo Guerrero to wrestle on his knees against Hornswoggle, so lets find out what happens with that.
Match 1: Wassup?! R-Truth be skippin and jumpin against Ricky Ortiz.
Ricky O comes out with a mic and says everybody needs to rally up their personal lives. I wish they would really get deep into the motivational speaker persona with Ortiz…that would be great. R-Truth hits the Lie Detector for the win against Ricky Ortiz, who seemingly dominated the match.
Mr. McMahon is seen in his office and Hornswoggle and Chavo enter. Chavo says the midget bit him and Vince says Chavo will compete on his knees. That should be a normal position for Chavo…I mean how else does he keep his job???
Match 2: Woo Woo Woo…You know it! Zack Ryder vs Tyler Reks
Tyler Reks walks like he has a surfboard up his butt. Matt Stryker and Josh Matthews have some witty banter about Zack Ryder being a tool and that clearly exemplifies how absolutely boring this match is. Tyler Reks is the master of the armbar and Ryder just sucks. I smell two future endeavores coming soon…hopefully. Anyway, Ryder hits the Zack Attack for the win.
Match 3: Chavito against the troll
This match is entertaining because its funny. Horny kicks Chavo’s ass for a little bit at the beginning and Chavo scurries out of the ring. Upon walking up the stairs on his knees and reentering the ring, Chavo dominates the “little person.” Hornswoggle bites Chavo and hits the Tadpole Splash for the win. This is getting rediculous!!!
Alrighty then. Join me again next week for another riveting episode of WWE Superstars. PEACE!!!
Hey everybody! Its your favorite Christian enthusiast, tharvey1, here again for another review of WWE Superstars.
Match Numero Uno por la noche pits Rey Rey and Senor Money in the Bank CM Punk against Kane and El Grande Show. For those of you not fluent in Spanglish, it is Rey and CM Punk vs Kane and Big Show in a tag match.
To start the match, it is Kane taking on Rey. Kane and Rey seem to work well together when they square off, so the beginning of the match was quite entertaining. A pretty cool spot with Kane sliding Rey across the ring on his stomach to outside and Rey landing on his feet caught my eye. The middle of the match saw Kane and Show taking it to the much much smaller Rey. Somehow Rey weaseled away from Kane and made the tag to Punk, who came in hot until Show forced him off the top rope and into a chokeslam by Kane. Winner Kane and Big Show. I was suprised to see how little Punk was used in this match. I give this match a 6.5 out of 10.
The next match of the evening is Finlay and the midget against Tyson Kidd and Natalya, who were already in the ring
Kidd and Finlay start the match, with the troll quickly entering. He somehow pulled off a move, pulled out tennis balls and juggled them, threw them at Tyson Kidd, who proceeded to chase him out of the ring. Finlay then layed him out, tossed him back into the ring, and hit him with the shileighly….screw the spelling…you know what I’m talking about. The “little person” nails Kidd with the tadpole splash for the W. I was wildly disappointed with the lack of action for the B E A utiful Natalya, as her appearance was the only thing that made this squash match bearable to watch. I give this match a 2 out of 10. How can they build a guy like Tyson Kidd up if they are just going to job him to Hornswoggle?! On the way to break, Finlay seranades the audience and Hornswoggle with a rendition of When Irish Eyes are Smiling and just like that, Father and Son are split up. God I hope they future endeavor that little monkey soon.
John Cena talks backstage. Blah Blah Blah. He’s a great person, but there’s just so much I can take of him.
And Now for the Main Event of the evening. In the Blue Corner and fighting out of Jamaica…Kofi Kingston. In the Red Corner and fighting out of Toronto Ontario, Canada and hopefully future World Heavyweight Champion…The Rated R Superstar EHHHDDDDGGGE!!!!!!
Why hasn’t this match occurred sooner? Why didn’t Kofi get any revenge on Edge for stealing his Elimination Chamber spot? Whatever…The ultra, super athletic Kofi Kingston is great to watch…especially when he squares off against the magnificent Edge. The beginning of the match has a lot of arm bars by Kofi Kingston to pass the time on what will be a fairly lengthy match to end the show. Right before the final commercial break of the night, Edge knocks Kofi off the top rope. Back from break, Edge assumes control of the match. A little back in forth leads to Kofi showing off his athleticism off the top rope with a high cross body. Kofi uses an unorthodox, kinda belly to belly sweep for a pin attempt, which results in a twooooooo. Edge gets up and face plants Kofi, then misses a spear as Kofi recovers and hits a spinning kick to knock The Rated R Superstar out of the ring. A series of near falls by both men leads into a spear by Edge for the win. This was good back and forth match and by far the best match of the night. I give this match an 8 out of 10. It would have been a 10 out of 10 if Christian had shown up for a “5 Second Pose.” There’s my cheap plug of the night for Christian.
Overall, the show was just OK. The first match was alright, but lacked “it,” as all four of the guys seemed to care less about being there. The second match was a joke. Somebody please kill Hornswoggle already. The main event was very good, but not good enough to offset Hornswoggle being on the show. Now I will leave you with a fact of life as I know it….Firehouse is the greatest band of the “Hairband” era. Thanks for reading everybody and join me next week for another exhilarating WWE Superstars Review by Yours Truly.
