Pintnoir reviews Impact – Roode now starring in the remake of the Bodyguard
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On the road to Lockdown the all cage PPV and with two weeks and some change to go we have the return of Roode, accompanied by 5 body guards cutting a promo on breaking Sting and putting Dixie in her place. He goes on to say that the guards are there for Storm’s protection not his. To which starts Storms music. The cowboy quips on the “mall cops” and attempts to get at Roode before Bully Ray jumps in and takes down James momentarily. Storm fights Ray off and attempts the last call super kick on The Champ but Roode escapes. After some manning up a handicap match is called.
Gail and Madison are in the back having make up talk. Gail presents Rayne with a present which of course is a crown. The two make up. Gail tells Madison to beat Velvet Sky. (The lesser of two evils….. Nope can’t root for either.
Madison vs Velvet…sigh. Lets make this quick. After a what felt like a 3min divas match, Sky beat Rayne witih In yo Face for the 3 count. Yes her finisher which Taz announced is as vapid as her character. Hemme conducts a inpromptu interview on the ramp where Sky (who is out of breath) calls out Gail and puts the rest of the knockouts on notice. Please don’t have Sarita job to Velvet, please don’t have Sarita job to velvet. Please.
We get when Harry met Sally but in a bad H.S reproduction substituting Hogan and Dixie. I swear I felt like Vaseline was needed when all the proping of Dixie and Hogan was done. Favorite line “Dixie, you a beautiful, attractive person.. (pause. Dixie looking uncomfortable) on the inside.
Matt Morgan and Crimson recap leading up to the next match.
Hemme gets ready to call out the two when Austin Aries music hits. She looks confused. A Double politely takes the mic and starts in on Ray. While the Impact crowd has dueling chants of “Austin Aries!!” “Aries sucks”. Aries talks up Storm and how he wants Bully Ray before extending his hand to James metaphorically to tag.
Hemme announces Matt Morgan before cutting to commericial. When we come back Morgan is beating on Crimson on the ramp. The two trade blows back and forth teasing countouts on two occasions. finally we have the third and final out of the ring fight which leads to a double count out.
Joseph Parks comes to the production area and talks to the engineers. Asks has any of them seen his brother Chris. He leaves his card.
Mr. Anderson vs Hardy: The match is pretty good and serves its purpose but the best part is the announcement of the Motor City Machine Guns return next week. Which in a way overshadowed the match. Angle interferes and cost Hardy the match.
We next have the Longnecks and Rednecks video with Montgomery Genry with Cowboy Troy, a lone black guy in a sea of white dudes who are probably not that far removed from lynching him if he looked at Faith Hill the wrong way. Thank God that Charley Pride and Darius Rucker make it somewhat of a fair fight. Moving on. Its a good video and was a lot of fun.
Eric Bischoff comes walking backstage ready to make another announcement about his son Garett. sigh. Good feeling gone.
Eric Young/ODB and a wedding planner go about the wedding naturally and we see some more of the insecurity that is ODB. So will we see another attempt at a heel turn fueled by jealousy? At the wedding that can not go wrong. 3 days before Lockdown in a steel cage the wedding will take place.
Eric B is in the ring ranting about Sting and I guess leading to Garett. Finally he gets to Garett and calls him out. Garett comes out and confronts his father. Eric gives his son an ultimatum he either gives up or he has to meet Gunner in a steel cage at Lockdown. Garett chooses the latter.
James Storm video shows him working out and doing yard work as he talks of Roode and the break up of Beer Money.
Main Event: Bobby Roode (c) & Bully Ray vs Austin Aries (c) & James Storm
We start off with Ray doing talking smack to Aries before tagging in Roode, Aries obliges by attempting to tag in Storm. Roode attacks from behind. After some time Roode tags in Ray who goes on the offensive but soon Aries comes back and embarrasses Ray before walking into a big boot. The heels dominate for the remainder. Aries soon gets off a drop kick leading to a tag. Storm beats on Ray and sends Roode into the ring. Storm gets ready to attack Roode when Bully Ray goes back on the offensive. Bobby gets the beer bottle and gets ready to spit it in The Cowboy’s face. Storm ducks and Roode hits Ray instead. Storm goes for the last call which Roode throws Ray in the way for the 3.
Hogan comes out to Dixie who is already in the ring. Before Hogan can answer Sting comes down with a handful of face wrestlers to cheer hulk on. Hogan asks Sting if he has his back and Sting agrees. This of course leads to Hogan accepting before the show fades to black.
Wow. Lets hope the next tapings that appear celebrate the return of Motor City Machine Guns.
Pintnoir out.