You would have thought that the WWE would have promoted the fact that the Rock was appearing on Smackdown tonight. Nope. They kind of forgot to do that. Yet they spoil other outcomes on the same program on their website. Weird. I mean it’s Smackdown, it’s not like we’re getting a surprise return or anything either… right? Something about hopping time.
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Oh hey, Smackdown is on again. Do YOU know what that means?
YES!
I see. Hopping time, then.
Step 1: Steal a time machine
Step 2: Go back to the 1980’s and find yourself a Pogoball
Step 3: It’s hopping time, motherfuckers.
[youtube tgYzHV7Ftqc]
Let’s do this shit.
Well, here we are. One more PPV to get through until the final stretch before WrassleMunia. Good times, good times. To be honest, the card looks pretty solid, and I expect Sunday will deliver a solid show. As for Smackdown, this probably will a whole bunch of clip packages and filler. Perhaps one or two tidbits of interest will slip through the cracks… Perhaps. But, that’s why you’re here. To see what in the blue hell happened (or what I perceived that happened).
Not to sound crabby… You + Hopping = Now.
I’ve read the matches (non-spoiler version) ahead of time, and kill… me… now. This does not look good, people. There’s one or two on the card that look passable. But I must warn you, there will be much FFW content on this debacle. Unless you like immobile big guys that can’t really do anything in the ring. If that’s the case, enjoy! Not me, though. Ugghhh… It is hopping time… more like skipping time. Oh well, maybe they’ll make up for it with a whimsical Hornswoggle and Natalya cover of “Dueling Banjos” using flatulance instead of the five string percussive chording hybrid of an instrument? Fuck.
Hopping time, folks….
OH NO! THE ROYAL RUMBLE WAS PREDICTABLE!!?!? THE FUCK?!?!? IT’S ALMOST AS IF THE WWE HAS BEEN BUILDING UP STORIES FOR OVER A YEAR?!?!?!? Seriously, if you can’t accept the outcome, I have to call you out as not having watched wrestling during the Hogan/Macho Man Rock and Roll Wrestling era of the WWF. Just because the IWC is up in arms and joining in the Culture of Outrage, doesn’t mean shit to the WWE. Most of you steal their PPV’s anyways. They are trying to tell a long story, and most of you shit on them for fast-tracking their story-telling. And then you get off on whining about it being predictable? WTF? Think about how awesome The Lord of the Rings would have been if Frodo failed? OF COURSE HE TAKES THE RING TO MORDOR AND DESTROYS IT. Fuck. And many of these are the same people who complain about Vince Russo swerving the story all the time. GET OVER IT.
I enjoyed the 2013 Royal Rumble. With that rant out of the way, let’s see what the “E” serves up for Smackdown this week. Now this is generally a show you can take a massive dump on… but perhaps not tonight? Only one way to find out. Go Go Gadget Hopping Shoes!
Who gets buried… tonight?
No need for some long drawn out intro to this review. This Sunday is the Royal Rumble, and everything of significance is well established. This episode should serve to do little else to maintain a holding pattern and replay all the build from previous episodes of RAW. But, hey, you never know. I might be wrong. It happened once.
Did you buy the replay? Yes? Why? This shit’s free. Now armed with a functional PVR, I can resume my normal routine watching while I review without stumbling around looking for the streams. Don’t cross the streams. If you slip, you might get wet. Why would you try and anger water flowing, anyways? You’re just crazy. Oh wait… that’s me. So pretend you’re playing Frogger, because it’s hopping time, folks.
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What could happen on Smackdown tonight? Best to keep everyone in the dark, right? I mean, god forbit the outcome of a title match would be leaked on the dirt sheets, let alone on the WWE.com website itself. Seriously, right? That would be completely self-defeating and retarded. So clearly Alberto Del Rio didn’t win the title,. there’s no way! So grab your favorite burlap sack, ’cause it’s hoppin’ time!
Let’s see if the WWE can suspend my disbelief.
Once again, the Canadian carrier of Smackdown has dropped the ball. Or fumbled it. Either way, this did not air on Friday in lieu of a random college football game. This article may or may not have gone up on Friday as well. Who can know? Not me, because this part of the review was written on Friday morning. Put on your time-travelling boots, folks. Let’s see what happens….
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