Tag Archive: Reks

  1. WWE Superstar Review

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    Hey everybody…I’m back this week for another review of WWE Superstars.  Special thanks goes out to Joe for filling in for me last week while I was away.  My DVR says Vince McMahon forces Chavo Guerrero to wrestle on his knees against Hornswoggle, so lets find out what happens with that.

    Match 1:  Wassup?!  R-Truth be skippin and jumpin against Ricky Ortiz. 

    Ricky O comes out with a mic and says everybody needs to rally up their personal lives.   I wish they would really get deep into the motivational speaker persona with Ortiz…that would be great.  R-Truth hits the Lie Detector for the win against Ricky Ortiz, who seemingly dominated the match.

    Mr. McMahon is seen in his office and Hornswoggle and Chavo enter.  Chavo says the midget bit him and Vince says Chavo will compete on his knees.  That should be a normal position for Chavo…I mean how else does he keep his job???

    Match 2:  Woo Woo Woo…You know it!  Zack Ryder vs Tyler Reks

    Tyler Reks walks like he has a surfboard up his butt.  Matt Stryker and Josh Matthews have some witty banter about Zack Ryder being a tool and that clearly exemplifies how absolutely boring this match is.  Tyler Reks is the master of the armbar and Ryder just sucks.  I smell two future endeavores coming soon…hopefully.  Anyway, Ryder hits the Zack Attack for the win.

    Match 3:  Chavito against the troll

    This match is entertaining because its funny.  Horny kicks Chavo’s ass for a little bit at the beginning and Chavo scurries out of the ring.  Upon walking up the stairs on his knees and reentering the ring, Chavo dominates the “little person.”  Hornswoggle bites Chavo and hits the Tadpole Splash for the win.  This is getting rediculous!!! 

    Alrighty then.  Join me again next week for another riveting episode of WWE Superstars.  PEACE!!!

  2. WWE Superstars Results 7/2/09

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    Hi, ThinkSoJoE here for WWE Superstars, filling in for tharvey1 who is on vacation this week. This is the first time I’ve ever actually watched this entire show, so here we go!

    Santino Marella is the first Superstar we see. His opponent tonight is The Brian Kendrick. Jerry Lawler talks to Michael Cole about Twitter – where you can find BoredWrestlingFan.com at twitter.com/brdwrstlngfn

    Santino Marella def. The Brian Kendrick

    I’m going to try to do the format that tharvey1 uses here every week some justice. Kendrick controlled the match until he started telling Santino he was a loser and begun slapping him. Santino says “oh, you make-a me so mad!” He then goes on the offense, eventually picking up the win with a rollup. Funny match.

    Later on tonight, CM Punk takes on Edge!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Charlie Haas is in the ring when we come back. Know what that means? He’s going to lose. Especially since his opponent is John Morrison, who beat CM Punk last week on SmackDown.

    John Morrison def. Charlie Haas

    Younger viewers may remember the original WWF Superstars television show, where all the matches were squashes. This could’ve very well been on that show. Nice to see you, Charlie, eat Starship Pain.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Oh radio, tell me everything you know…

    Zack Ryder is on this show pretty much every week. Woo Woo Woo, you know it. His opponent, as announced Tuesday on ECW, is Tyler Reks, who has generic surf music.

    Zack Ryder def. Tyler Reks

    Reks held his own, but Ryder put him away with the Zack Attack. Woo Woo Woo

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Video Package: Christian, for no apparent reason.

    RAW Rebound: Mark Henry pinned Randy Orton.

    The Bash: CM Punk hurt his eye and apparently inadvertantly kicked the referee

    Speaking of Punk, here’s the World Heavyweight Champion now!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    One half of the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, The Rated R Superstar, EDGE! makes his way to the ring, and we’re ready for our main event!

    Edge def. CM Punk

    Punk’s eye is the story here. Edge continues to work over the injury. That’s not to say Edge dominated, Punk showed an aggressive streak at times. Punk went for the GTS and Edge raked his eye to escape. Punk told the referee he couldn’t see, and the referee rang the bell, awarding the victory “by forfiet” to Edge.

    Josh Matthews asks CM Punk if he’d done the same thing if this were a title match. Punk says his eye is more than a little bit injured. He doesn’t want to forfiet anything, but if he can’t see he can’t compete. He’ll be happy to grant Edge a rematch when his eye is better, but he can’t see right now.

    That’s it, that’s the show – now it’s time to cross the line! Drow will be around in the next 24 hours with the iMPACT! review.