“Impact” Impressions 9/3/09

Let’s cross the line, peeps!

“Last Chance to Surrender”

Really? To whom? Do I get to choose?

We open with a match! Excellent!

Match #1: Rhino vs. Sting: This match is part of the tournament to determine who joins Matt Morgan and Kurt Angle in the 4-way main event title match at “No Surrender.” Rhino assaults Sting with a barrage of punches and power. Sting gets Rhino in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Sting can’t even sit down into it anymore. Rhino gets Sting in a body scissors, but Sting refuses to tap out. Rhino lands some stiff chops on Sting. Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex. Rhino goes for a Gore, but Sting dodges it, and plants Rhino with the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting gets the pin and the three count. Sting advances in the tournament. Rhino lays Sting flat with another Gore post-match. The crowd chants “You suck!” Rhino flips off the crowd.

A recap of Rhino’s poat-match assault on Sting. AJ Styles and the TNA trainer see to Sting, and Sting may have cracked ribs.

To the Main Event Mafia locker room. Booker T babbles incoherently. Something about Matt Morgan. Kurt Angle talks about having to fight Morgan. Kip James is trying to put in phone lines. Booker babbles more. He needs to stop. Booker insults Kip, and Kip leaves. Scott Steiner tries to talk down Booker. They continue playing putt-putt golf.

Match #2: Chris Sabin (w/ Alex Shelley) vs. AJ Styles: Some matches, you just have to sit back and enjoy. This is one such match. Just listing the moves doesn’t do it justice anyway. It was counter after counter after counter. AJ wins with the Styles Clash. Alex Shelley was gold on commentary with Tenay and Taz. It’s AJ who advances in the tournament to join the main event at the ppv. Sabin looked awesome in th ematch though. Not that I’m biased or anything….

To the back! Lauren talks to Hernandez about fighting Homicide in the tournament. Eric Young interrupts them. He tells Hernandez that his dreams were crushed, that people like them don’t get a fair shake. Young is going to open Hernandez’s eyes, that he is his brother.

Daniels, the Number One Contender to the X-Division title, hits the ring, and he has a mike. He calls out X-Division Champion Samoa Joe. I love Joe’s new music, even though it isn’t really new. Daniels remembers a time when TNA revolved around the X-Division and three men: Samoa Joe, Daniels, and AJ Styles. We remember that too, Daniels! The three of them became like family. “Unbreakable,” 2005. The first and only time that the X-Division title was defended in the main event of a TNA ppv. The match involved those three, and that night set everything  for TNA at the highest level. Joe is bored and tries to leave, but Daniels stops him. Daniels says that the MEM is afraid of Joe. Joe took the money from the MEM and threw away his friendships and his integrity. Daniels asks how Joe’s wife and son can respect him. Joe snaps and throws Daniels over in a brutal suplex.

To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan says that he and Kurt Angle have each other’s backs, and all is great with them.

Match #3: Suicide vs. Doug Williams: This is the third tournament match to determine who gets in the main event title match at the ppv. Doug Williams goes for power and technical mat work. Suicide counters with a more high-flying style. Poor Williams didn’t even get an entrance. Lots of “USA!” chants at Williams. Williams overpowers Suicide, chokes him in the ropes, and otherwise tries to ground the masked man. A snap suplex gets Williams a two-count. Suicide fights back with punches, and lands a dropkick on Williams. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes down and Suicide hits a flying cross body on him. Dinero’s distraction allows Williams to land the Chaos Theory suplex on Suicide and get the pin and win. Doug Williams advances.

To the back! Jeremy Borash talks to Sting about his injured ribs, and Sting not being in his prime. Sting knows that this is his last chance, and he’s going to take it.

The Beautiful People sit on their thrones backstage.

To the back! Lauren interviews The Beautiful People, who don’t care who Madison Rayne’s tag team partner is next week. They’re going to beat Madison Rayne with the ugly stick.

Match #4: Sojourner Bolt and Hamada vs. Christy Hemme and Tara: Tara and Hamada start. The action between Hamada and Tara is great! Hamada tags in Bolt, and Tara throws her around a bit before tagging in Hemme. Hemme gets a two-count on Bolt, and Hamada tags in. We cut to a commercial break. When we return, Bolt and Hemme are in. Tara tags in, and flattens Bolt with a clothesline. Tara gets the win with the Widow’s Peak. Post-match, Hamada plants Bolt with the Hamada Driver and leaves. Tara and Christy Hemme win.

To the back! JB asks Kurt Angle about Matt Morgan and mind games. Morgan comes up and claims that at the ppv, the world title match will come down to Morgan and Angle, and there will be no questions asked.

A video package detailing the history of LAX airs. This is the end of LAX. That makes me sad. We never got the big LAX vs MCMG tag team title feud that we should have gotten.

Match #5: Homicide vs. Hernandez: This is the last qualifying match for the World title match at the ppv. They shake hands and hug at the start. Hernandez powers down Homicide. Hernandez dominates the match, but Homicide counters with high-flying and scores a two-count. Hernandez recovers and dominates again. Hernandez gets the win after a hugely impressive slam. Homicide looks unhappy.

To the back! Lauren talks to the British Invasion. Doug Williams says that he will take on AJ alone, and talks him up with respect.

To the back! JB talks with AJ Styles about his upcoming match. AJ is rising from the ashes.

Kurt Angle comes out to commentary.

Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams: This match determines one of the two competitors in the ppv main event match. This was another really good match that I just had to sit back and enjoy. Very technically sound. AJ wins after his reverse DDT from the top rope. Really good work.

To the back! Team 3D has Jesse Neal’s back.

Match #7: Hernandez vs. Sting: Not much here, as Homicide ran in and assaulted Sting in the ribs with a bat. Hernandez is disqualified, and Sting gets the win. Homicide is unmasked as Eric Young. Hernandez is very unhappy.

Hernandez is in the ring with the mic, and gets jumped by The British Invasion, followed shortly by the entirety of World Elite. AJ Styles rushes the ring, followed by Beer Money and Team 3D. Major brawling ensues. Team 3D and the audience yell about tables. JT is not here to get them. Bashir is about to go through a table when Booker T and Scott Steiner run down and help the heels turn the tide in their favor. The faces get demolished, and the MEM music plays.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow. Two great wrestling matches, one really good wrestling match, and a blistering Daniels promo. Chris Sabin looked awesome, even in defeat, and should call me at once. Alex Shelley was tremendous on commentary. Tara and Hamada can really go, and would have a great series of matches if allowed. Christy Hemme still can’t wrestle, and Sojourner Bolt is just there. AJ Styles lived up to his moniker again, and by all rights, should win at the ppv. He probably won’t, but he should. Doug Williams reminded everyone just how good he really is. Joe and Daniels built beautifully to their ppv match. Matt Morgan’s interaction with Kurt Angle was great. This was a very solid “Impact,” and I’m stoked about ordering the ppv, as well as next week’s show.

Check back with us at BWF for all your wrestling goodness!

Peace out,

Drowgoddess