So some downer news to start off and that is the leaving of Alex Shelley. This on the heels of the MCMG’s return. The division looks as empty as the knockout tag division at a time when iMPACT should be bragging about its dominance over The ‘E in Tag team wrestling…well I guess there is ROH.
Sadness over. Now on to Roode vs Sting in a Lumberjack match. This is a good opener that showcases the excitement of the crowd when there allowed to watch a show without having to sit through the retakes and can just sit back and be fans. Watching the ring I never realized the over abundance of faces compared to heels which is the exact opposite to brand eck!
Sting gets the win and just when you think that, yeah Sting got his revenge for Victory Road. Then Hogan comes out and calls for a match at Slammiversary where Sting takes on Roode for the TNA World Title. what about James Storm?
Oh look Madison…NEXT!!!!!
Joseph Park esq and Bully Ray have thier weekly confrontation over “My Brother Chris, you know Abyss” and what Ray has done to him. (even though a couple of weeks ago Abyss appeared okay so what is Bully Ray guilty of?! Ray calls Joseph’s whole family cowards and when the sweaty lawyer went to grab the bully, Ray threatens lawsuit only to antagonize him some more. Either way a fun entertaining segment.
Samoa Joe and Aries have an altercation that later leads to a match at Slammiversary. But before the PPV Aries takes on the staying half of the Motor City Machine Guns in the guise of “Hail Sabin” Chris Sabin. Good match that makes you wonder if we will see more of it now that he is a singles competitor but we’re not psychic so I watch to see Aries go over with a small package.
Coming in ten days TNA is celebrating 10 years of existing and Dixie “MILF” Carter announces that the Hall of Fame is coming to TNA with an inductee being announced during Slammiversary. She then call out Brooke Hogan who know is in charge of the Knockouts. I loved the mixxed reaction and what that means for her arrival of either putting up or shutting up. hey Brooke, We need a revitalized knockout division that has more than 4women in it.
kazarian and Daniels are gold backstage during Dixie’s promo.
And we have the television title match that Hogan promised us every week missing one along the way. Mr. Anderson, Jeff hardy,RVD and someone who will not be named wait to see what the total one and guess what it was….Jeff Hardy.
And like clockwork the Robbie’s interfere which leads to a Jeff Hardy winning by DQ. Right before the faces clear the heels which leads to a tag match between The Robbies vs Devon and Garett Bishchoff?
UGH!
James Storm is having a crisis of faith about winning the world title and why do I feel that we won’t resolve this till Bound For Glory.
AJ and Daniels have a match. So when are we going to see match #12356 but it still shows the integrity of how they wrestle. AJ wins but is then jumped by Daniels with Kaz only for the newly appointed face Kurt Angle to make the save but both are taken out by the heels.
Daniels plays a recording of Dixie and AJ only to have Dixie herself come down and take control of TAZ’s headset and ask for the show to be shut down.
Sidenote:Joey Ryan didn’t make the cut because he’s a jackass who pissed off Taz, Flair’s replacement. Where is Alex Silva?
We open the show with the drawn out conclusion of Victory Road. This leads into Dixie Carter coming to the ring putting her best crying face on. She goes over how horrible of a champion Roode is and how she has conversed with Lawyers for the past week, but the incident only happened last night, but thats what happened when you tape a show. Mr. Borden comes to the ring to make a case for keeping Roode so James Storm and the fans can get revenge at Lockdown. Because you know when and if I put hands on my boss nothing will be down until he gets revenge at a later date. Sting seems reinvigorated with becoming a wrestler again and decides to abducate the GM position and elects Hogan to Dixie’s chargin.
We then cut to Bully Ray who seems obsessed with taking hostages for whatever reason. Which with the X Division match coming next is apparent foreshadowing. Some one always has to take out the X guys to prove a point to which point I wish I knew.
Austin Aries (c) vs Kid Kash vs Anthony Nese vs Zema Ion: A really good match. Especially for Nese who was able to show off his abilities and hopefully gets a shot at a story with Aries. Everyone gets as least one show moment in and out of the ring leading to a tower of doom in the corner. Then (like foreshadowing demands) Bully Ray comes in as the competitors are all laid out and attacks. Aries the only one left standing gets a boot to the face. Yeah that was awesome.
So Mexican America is outside with Josh Matthews who is about to repossess their ride. What happens next is typical Repo Games which Chavo or should I say Anarquia gets wrong except for the first one. Leading to begging for a chance to pay Matthews when each set wins their respective tag titles, honestly they should both just play easy slots games.
Sarita and Rosita vs Eric Young and ODB: This match was short and to the point, as with that I mean we got the typical EY antics which lead to him goofily playing around the ring since male on female violence isn’t allowed on Spike TV. Eventual Eric strips which causes the girls to flock around him (because Sarita has nothing better to do) hitting on him. ODB jealous takes out the pair before hitting the BBAM on Rosita she starts in on EY for messing around with other girls and where his ring, they kiss and she tosses him on top of Rosita for the pin. Yeah so Bully Ray couldn’t interrupt this match.
Crimson is backstage previewing the new Direct Auto Insurance with Morgan before going all heel and saying Morgan was the selfish one. Morgan appears and attacks Crimson until security pulls them apart. Crimson crawls away.
James Storm comes out and calls out Roode for attacking Dixie and for just being a bad friend. Instead of Roode we get Randy Orton circa The Evolution who is the British attorney for Robert Roode who is hiding at home until Lockdown but Storm is more than welcome to fight either Daniels or Kazarian. James opts for both then Last Calls the lawyer William Kelly.
Kurt Angle is having an interview with Wonder Years when after being asked about the rematch with Hardy which Kurt declines, is presented with the fact that he lost against Garrett which causes Kurt to seek out the kid which takes 5 seconds rechallenging him for three minutes.
Garett vs Angle: Garett and kurt have a pissing contest until a shoving match fires up Garett causing him to do a couple clothelines and a face plant. But when bischoff jr goes for one face plant too many Kurt tossing Garett out of the ring. Garett sees the clock and decides to duck Angle for the remaining time. Until that is Gunner comes out and attacks Garett. Bisch Junior wins by DQ. Hardy comes out for the save.
Tag Title Match Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Mexican America: MA takes early advantage isolating Magnus as Joe watches from the sidelines. Magnus eventually gets the hot tag and Joe cleans house locking Anarquia in a choke hold. The Sitas hope up on the apron to distract the ref who doesn’t see that Chavo Jr has tapped. Then Josh Matthews comes down and repossess the girls. Hernandez breaks the hold and is about ready to powerbomb Joe when Magnus big boots him and takes Chavo jr setting up for the back kick into the elbow drop. Magnus and Joe wins.
Afterwards in the lot MA is trying to get the car back only to attack Matthews who fights Anarquia off. Proving that they have no money or power to take on Matthews the girls leave with Josh. Hopefully ending Mexican America.
James Storm comes out to have his handicapp match with Kaz and Daniels which lasts a total of 5 minutes including entrances. Oh and before that we get news on how next week we are having the official video of Longnecks and Rednecks (Storm’s theme) with Montgomery Gentry and Cowboy Troy! IF you not into country you may not know who that is. Storm wins after a Double Last Call on Kaz and Daniels respecitvely.
Wow the main event is Hogan and Sting with Dixie talking about the GM position which could of been handled at the beginning of the show. Awesome. As I try not to fall asleep as Sting kisses Hogan’s ass we are left decisionless which means that this will continue into next week on a taped show. yeah again. sigh.
So we have match 1 which is the tag match between AJ Styles /Mr. Anderson vs Christopher Daniels/Kazarian for….absolutely nothing. WHat started as an intriguing set up involving the secret that Daniels unearthed and what Kaz kept wanted kept quiet is now just a feud with an added element for the returning Mr. Anderson. Because I’m assuming that they had no plans for him on his return. So I feel that the faces will lose to build momentum for Lockdown. If nothing else it looks like that TNA has formed new tag teams. How knows if the faces due win maybe Lockdown will be the blow off of the feud in a three way tag team title match.
Austin Aries vs Zema Ion for the X Division title looks to be filler for the real match at Lockdown. I see a cheap move on Ion’s part that gets him disqualified leading to a rematch at Lockdown for the win. Don’t get me wrong it will be a competitive match that will keep the crowd awake to make it through the rest of the card. But a footnote leading to Lockdown all the same.
Gail Kim (c) vs Madison Rayne the match that the X division will have to keep people awake through. This is really just a waste and hoping it is just filling in for the (hopefully) eventual confrontation between Gail and Sarita since that is the only person she hasn’t faced yet and would really be appreciated here. I could see this match as the final straw for Gail as far as friends go making her a lone wolf against a rejuvenated face Sarita would be appreciated or keep her heel as long as we get that match. Gail should win here because god almighty we don’t need another Killer Queen reign.
Sting vs Booby Roode (c) should solidify Roode as a crafty and threatening force leading into Lockdown against James Storm. Otherwise it would just be a waste of the champion to get beat by Sting. Here’s to Roode winning and making himself look strong. Nashville would be better for it.
Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy this should be Hardy’s redemption song for last year. Taking on the man who can have a good match with a broom stick. (Looking at you HHH) This should make four a good match and here’s to Hardy doing something different with his moveset instead of the wash and repeat business he could show some knew moves and bust out some classic maneuvers from the old days. Angle should go over so to extend the feud to Lockdown where Angle does best.
Samoa Joe/Crimson vs Crimson/Morgan here here to the Joe Daddies or whatever their called. Morgan and Crimson just need to progress to the next level. Just fight already. Hopefully come Lockdown we see these two finally step to heel and face category to make the Crimson character more interesting. Because this rematch seems forced. Joe/Magnus for the win and the dissolving of Morgan/Crimson.
Bully Ray vs James Storm we have seen this match already and on free tv as the marks would say but i guess they have to give Storm something to do until Lockdown. Storm will go over Ray and move on to Nashville.
Saving the best for last. The Robbie E open invitational for the television title. I’m crossing my fingers that this will be resolved for going into Lockdown. Bischoff noted that now under the current regime that long term story is being created. So what looks like random heel tactics by the two Rob’s could be setting up for an eventual face to strip the belt off Robbie E I predict another jobber who will take the pin leading to Robbie getting more heat.
So there’s my predictions in assorted order (thanks Wikipedia) A day after PPV article should verify or debunk predictions.
We open with Steve and Bobby walking into the arena (from separate entrances of course). For some reason Roode step out of the pyro room which makes me wonder. We get a vignette of Roode vs Sting going into Victory Road this Sunday.
James Storm our official TNA redneck comes out to make an inring promo about his eventual confrontation in a steel cage with the aforementioned Roode. I smell a slobber knocker coming this April. Just as Storm’s finishes Bully Ray comes out. He taughts the #1 contender tellling him that he won’t make it to Lockdown. And just when we think a fight is about to break out Ray calls out Gunner to take his licks. After a couple of punches the security groupies rush the ramp to separate the two, during the insueing ruckus Ray gets in a cheap shot.
Another Bobby Roode vignette about Sting.
Madison and Gail argue about losing the tag titles which they really weren’t defending, but i digress. They confront Sting who tells them that he’s busy dealing with Roode. He sets up two matches Gail vs Mickie and Madison vs Velvet Sky, Rayne’s match is next.
Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky:
Madison composes herself on the ramp before cutting into her Killer Queen gimmick, which by the way needs to change but “hearts” to her anyway. Velvet comes out next shaking her pom poms and just as she is ready to staddle a rope for pigeons, she darts toward Rayne spear first. Early on Sky has the advantage with her assorted moves of doom until Madison gets the upper and due to a ref who can’t keep his hands off the knockout. Then the crowd gets behind Velvet which comes out like a druid chant for a death march. I laugh and die on the inside. No offense to the Madison haters but I’m behind her as her move set and more diversified. Anyway after a rollup by Sky which is reversed into another roll up with tights for the win.
Crimson is smug backstage bragging about the win over the two Robs, which is as brag worthy as breathing. After Morgan questions Crimson’s motives about winning belts and making money they head out.
Samoa Joe vs Crimson:
A short match to show that Crimson/Morgan are on the same page and another loss for Joe with Magnus looking weaker even by comparison when he attempts to attack Morgan on the outside only to get irish whipped into the ring post.
Austin Aries comes out and shows his X division champion reel and brags about being the longest reigning X Division champion exceeding the previous record of 182 days set by Christopher Daniels. Celebrating aside out comes Zema Ion, after some exchanges about breaking necks and nut hair growth, Ion gives the toast right before he throws a drink in is face. Aries answers back by dousing Ion in the hole bottle ruining his pretty hair.
Gail Kim vs Mickie James:
There was promos with Sting going on about crowing and craziness but ehh. Mickie and Gail continue to prove their previous WWE stint match was a fluke which they have been trying to allevate through superior matches. This one is no different. After Gail messes with Mickie’s knee we have a methodical attack which culminates with Mickie making a comeback but Kim out smarting her with a belt to the face. she scores the win. heel syle.
We have a watercooler or Lemonade talk according to Anderson about his involvement with AJ Styles. Daniels is curious why he’s taking Styles side which I had the same question because the story looked to be going good til last week. When Kazarian went from unwilling pawn to bitter assistant to all an out heel which now makes this story seem trite. But we have a match between the Daniels and Anderson to hype.
Daniels vs Anderson:
Anderson knocks off some ring rust with Daniels as he seems to not miss a step. Daniels bumps like a madman. Anderson and Daniels battle and during the melee Chris cuts his cheek. Kazarian comes down to the ring to distract Anderson only for AJ to come to the rescue Daniels gets up only to take a mic check. Anderson wins and prepares for Victory Road.
Jeff Hardy prattles on about Angle being an Olympic gold medalist. and his creatures. Speaking of Angle
Garett and Angle have a five minute challenge match which I assume (and you know what they say about assuming) will make Bitchoff (not my words but Angle’s) look good. And I guess that old adiom about is right not only does Garett look good but it also hypes Hardy vs Angle this Sunday when Hardy comes out to save Garett when Angle who’s angry about not beating Garett in time locks him in the ankle lock.
The Two Robs are interviewed by Wonder Years and talk about the upcoming open invitational. Yeah TV title on the line and the person is random. Here’s to an eventual title change so we can have some actual competiton. One can hope right.
James Storm vs Gunner:
Here are two back woods southern wrestlers on the opposing sides of the heel/face tangent. What we have so far is a good match between two competitors with Bully Ray egging on the Gunner. But Gunner gets the job done and by that he takes a Last Call to the face. Making James Storm look strong going into Victory Road.
Sting and Bobby Roode have their contract signing which is where Roode rips into Sting with all his worth for a good 8 minutes. All the while Sting sits patiently listening untl Bobby turns to leave. Sting flips the table over kicks over the chairs and puts on his makeup and attacks the champion. And while beating on the Roode he applies his trademark black paint to Roode’s face. After Roode scurries out of the ring face ashen from the paint sting gets enpowered by his attack.
Where are on the road to Lockdown, and what better way to start that off then with a list by Kurt Angle explaining why he hates Jeff Hardy?!
Kurt comes out and proceeds to read off some notecards all the reasons why he hates Hardy:
1. Hardy has long hair which he dyes different colors, Kurt Angle has none.
2. Kurt Angle comes to autograph signings on time but when Hardy shows up late all the people in his line walk away to get an autograph from Hardy
3. Kurt has many action figures and posters, but when he goes to kiss his boy goodnight all he sees is Hardy posters and toys in his room, and his son also has the audacity to dress like Hardy too.
What confuses me about this make believe heel list from Angle is that with Kurt’s background as an all american Olympic good medalist wouldn’t the list he gave be only one line long “Jeff Hardy is a drug addict, and self destructive personality who is a bad influence on my son.” There he would have saved impact fans five minutes.
It's True, It's True
After reading his list he calls out Hardy, Jeff comes out looking annoyed like someone gave him the wrong order at a restaurant before entering the ring. Angle tells Jeff that he wants to wrestle at Victory Road, Hardy thinks about it and slaps the Gold Medalist. After the aforementioned bitch slap from Hardy the usual brawl insued followed by Simon Diamond, Al Snow and referees coming to ring to break it up. Jeff calls on his “Creatures of the Night” before accepting Kurt’s challenge.
Roode shoots a promo in the back about Sting booking himself in the main event of Victory Road. And as he rants in the background we see The Greatest Man Alive, Austin Aries walk up. He concurs with Bobby telling him about his twitter comments. They decide to take a walk.
Madison Rayne (ugh) and Gail Kim have a conversation while Rayne is hanging posters of Gail Kim. Gail wants to make up and she does this by signing Madison in a match with ODB, because that is what a good and caring friend does.
We have a Gauntlet Match between Kazarian Daniels and AJ Styles, where if and when AJ wins he wants to know the secret that Daniels has over his head. So by stipulating this TNA is basically saying “You probably won’t know to Victory Road, or the latest Lockdown, or wait the Impact after Lockdown because ratings are more important then PPV buys.” AJ and Daniels start off the Gauntlet Match (and for those that don’t know a Gauntlet match is where a competitor faces one opponent and after he wins takes on the next until he clears both or loses to one or the other.) They have another good match filled with reversals and cool moves that have highlighted their respective matches in the past. That is until Kaz comes in and performs Fade to Black on AJ basically DQ’ing Daniels. Before covering him for the three. Kaz is to his breaking point and not even The Fallen Angel can keep him chained.
Madison Rayne takes on ODB w/Eric this is what you expect from Rayne she takes a beating and keeps entertaining the crowd by making the face ODB look more over. Gail comes to ringside with belts in hand as I guess moral/heel support. Madison goes for her finish ODB reverses and goes for the Ba boom? Eric Young distracts the ref with his foolishness, Gail attempts to hand Madison a belt to cheat with but slips on the apron. ODB hits her move and pins Rayne for the three. Afterwards Rayne who is annoyed asks what happened as Gail apologizes.
We have replay from Bully Ray’s failed attempt at beating up Brandon Jacobs. We then are treated to another Bully Ray makes fun of the geek girl before telling her to call him. A double and Bobby walked up and try to convince Ray that James Storm isn’t the cause of his embarassment but Sting, who because he’s the authority figure.
Garrett Bischoff is cornered by Father, Gunner and Flair who gives his usual I’m old and senile speech that kind of sounds coherent if living on Shutter Island is your idea of normal. Garrett holds up all stoic as the heels look on in disgust. Because nepotism is nausea inducing.
Velvet Sky has had enough and she wants her title shot. She retells the events of two weeks ago when Rayne threw her over the ropes becoming the #1 contender. Well if you whine long enough the heels will come. Sarita and Angelina?! mock Velvet before a fight breaks out. Or more like a beat down. But the flower child is coming to the rescue Mickie James who I assume is wearing a workout outfit but looks more colorful then a Puerto Rican float decides to team up for revenge on the heels later in a tag match.
Roode, Aries and Ray come down to the ring to pout. All three after a long winded recap say their done. This of course prompts Steve to appear and question each man about abducating their respective title and paycheck. Eventually Steve sets up a six man tag main event. Ray, Aries and Roode versus Storm, Magnus and Joe.
More updates on Jesse Sorenson with a video package with his mother about how he hopes to fight and be back in the ring soon. Now I think we’re at the point where this whole reality distortion field is being set up with Sorenson his mother and Zema Ion.
Speaking of Ion he cuts an interview with Wonder Years, showing no remorse for the crippling and makes a comment about how he would break the interviewers neck for a bigger profile in TNA.
X-Division Match: Zema Ion vs Shannon Moore, it is essentially a match to set up how much of a solid heel Ion is against homeless Moore. With Ink Inc. why is Shannon still there? Zema puts on a good match that results in some good spots from both men. It comes to a close when Ion hits his chin to knee buster on Moore for the pin. Ending the segment shadowing wearing the belt.
Knockout Tag Match: The new team of Angelina and Sarita is being toted around as a new thing. I guess with Russo gone we no longer have lesbian vampires. Mickie comes out introducing Velvet with mock pigeon flapping. As we get down to business. During the match we have Mike Tenay for some reason segway to TMZ who I assume is affliated with Spike or Viacom for that matter, talking about the feud between Madonna and Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild infamy. Along with Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL. You know because commenting on the Knockout match is just not his job. We’ll eventually the announce team gets back on the ball, actually calling the match. This match makes me want a Sarita vs Mickie match which I won’t get but whatev’s. In the end Mickie lou thesz’s Sarita and they roll out of the ring. Velvet ducks a botex injection from Angelina and hits her faceplant to get the cover. The women celebrate as Mickie makes the pigeon wave again. Sidenote: Why is Mickie promoting masturbation? Just a thought.
The search for Abyss has started. 2 months to late. but hey its TNA not Missing Persons. Abyss’s family sent a letter to the company asking for where he was. They replay Genesis and his after match beat down from Ray. Get out the milk cartons because Detectives Tenay and Taz are on the case.
Main event time as all six men get to the ring.
This is a good match up between a different but familiar mix of competitors. Again we have the commentators getting distracted with Taz wondering about the knockouts as Tenay hypocritcally asks Taz to focus. Joe is cornered and taking a beating until he tags in James storm who goes to work. Eventual it conscends into Storm hitting the last call on Roode and getting the pin. Storm celebrates. Until Bully Ray hits Magnus and then Storm with a chair declaring himself the #1 contender,
Welcome back. After having help last week from Matt B. Wrestle, I’ve decided to return and review this weeks Impact. The final impact before Genesis TNA’s opening PPV. And I’ll be happy to report I kinda didn’t like it as a lead into Genesis I was basically bored by the events but it could be that I’m an old man by wrestling fan status (27) and feel like I’ve seen it all. Lets begin.
Roode umpteenth replay of his leader of the selfish generation gimmick plays just to remind people that Roode is a bad man (again.) Steve Borden comes to the ring and calls out Jeff Hardy. This is suppose to again absolve Jeff of his victory road debacle and bring the story full circle since Steve alter ego Sting was his embarrassed opponent. But this is interrupted by Bobby Roode, the aforementioned leader of the selfish generation. Who brings tag alongs Angle and Bully Ray. Roode admonishes Steve Borden for picking favorites and how he should praise Angle for beating up rednecks and Ray for having awesome calves?! Oh and him because he is the face of the company. Then they are interrupted by James Storm and Abyss, who basically talk over the heels which prompts steve to set up a six man tag match. You know because both companies love to compact entertainment into one main event. Have a bias against six man tag matches or random tag matches in general? Yes. Yes I do.
Oh look its Madison in a bikini and a mole that may or may not be cancerous like her whole persona.
Face, back whatever it still looks suspect
Science is still out on that one. She spots Traci at a pool and proceeds to announce that they have a tag match set up for the Knockout titles. This is all before the hazing that takes place when Gail and Madison double team Traci and attempt to drown her. Thank god for Mickie who jumps in for the save. And then we have the Knockouts Tag team match.
Its basically a brawl which has a fired up Traci vehemently attacking Gail and in some instance Rayne with occasional assists from James. *Sidenote here* So the mystery woman from last week was Madison? Here I was hoping for some new talent. Gail beats Traci with her heel move “Eat Defeat” to retain the titles.
Random Eric Young segment where he’s interviewed by Wonder Years about whats he up to. He looking for ODB so they can have their match even though they already lost. But whatever.
The Wild Card Tag Team Tournament. We see the two remaining teams Joe/Magnus and Kaz/AJ go through the pre match backstage segments/interviews. Really this whole tournament was kind of one dimensional. Aside the Magnus return to the ring nothing was special about it. Too predictable with so much interference it took the joy from it. For what should be an intense match turns sour before the opening bell. Kaz who is having secret meetings with Daniels really just ruins and makes an all too predictable out come. Long story short, Kaz leaves in similar fashion to Shannon Moore, leaving AJ stranded to take a whooping aligning himself with Daniels.
Finally, Kazarian has a storyline. Look at him smile.
Crimson/Morgan or Blue Streak take on Joe and Magnus at Genesis.
Oh. Garett Bishoff returns to ref but is told by GM Borden he is a wrestler. And Eric Young invades the KO locker room looking for ODB only to throw Madison inside a locker before fleeing. Gunner takes on RVD, so since we know who wins lets just skip to the no Flair at ringside that took Steve 3 weeks to institutionalize surprisingly only when RVD is present. Because god forbid he has to take time off. RVD wins with a DQ and a save from D’lo. Al Snow and Simon Diamond. These three guys moved so slow it took 3 weeks of spiked ddt’s for them to make it ringside. Now announced is a Gunner vs RVD match which doesn’t look promising at all. Just saying.
X division tag match with RANDOM I mean the four participants who will face each other for the X divison title come Genesis. Austin Aries (c) Kid Kash, Jesse Sorenson, and Zema Ion. THree heels and a face its possible right??
Sorenson wins with the cross roads. Setting up the eventual Austin Aries win come Genesis. And now that I think about it where is the Ultimate X match that should be taking place here?
Eric Young finds ODB taking pics of dudes and they wrestle then kiss. AAAHH! Cody Deener part deux is on its way.
Even Charlie Sheen wouldn't come back for this Part Deux
Blue Streak and Joe and Magnus brawl.
Main Event time. Six Man tag Match! ———–The heels beat the stuffing out of the faces. Roode has Hardy in the crossface, Angle has Storm in an Ankle lock and Ray is choking out Abyss with a chain. I could go through that match it would of bored me to tears.
call the story police, please.
So hopefully until Genesis, THis is Pintnoir fading to black.
Welcome to another edition of Impact Wrestling for Dec 22nd. After the events of Final Revolution, Impact is gearing towards Genesis were Hardy will face Roode for the World Title, Devon will take on the Pope and Double Trouble, and when called for a tag title match will emerge from this Wild Card tournament.
Impact opens with a replay of last week, with the decimation of Hardy and Sting. Following it up with an appearance from the heels as Roode w/ Bully Ray the culprits of the beat down. Roode spews his heelish hate which eventually leads to him attempting to get Sting to suspend him so he doesn’t have to defend his world title at Genesis.
Taz:Wouldn't Roode being suspended lead to being stripped of the title? Tenay: Yes, Captain Obvious.
(*sidenote: wouldn’t suspension lead to being stripped of the world title?) Any who, Jeff Hardy’s music hits. He marches down to the ring and tells Roode he will not be suspended and infact he, Roode and Bully Ray will be involved in a tag match tonight. All Jeff is missing is a partner. Ray prods Hardy with insults claiming no one wants to be his partner because he’s an outcast. (I guess his “drug induced performance at Victory Road” isn’t good enough) And like a angel Sting makes his entrance, he makes sure to walk backwards turning around to reveal…….
Tenay: Joker Sting?!!! what a bunch of bull.....
He claims to always respect Hardy and will gladly be his partner. (Even though the beat down he took last week would of been good enough reason.)
Wild Card Tag Team Tournament: AJ Styles + Kazarian take on RVD + Christopher Daniels
This was a good match that brought out the crowd. And lets not forget reminded the world that Kazarian still exists.
Taz: Where's Waldo? Hey if Double J didn't want to play ball why should we.
Styles who is on occasional still trying to sell his injury. RVD and Kaz have some good back and forth but when this match becomes a handicap situation this is where the plot thickens.
Tenay: By which I mean plot advancement for Genesis
Daniels won’t tag in. That is until RVD attempts a rolling thunder on Kaz. Daniels takes control until he loses the upper hand leading to him wondering over to RVD who enziguri kicks him into Kaz for his fade to black. AJ and Kazarian advance. And I’m assuming the RVD vs Daniels at Genesis will happen.
Best of Three Series: Zema Ion vs Tony Nese, 2nd Round
After Zema embarrassed Nese last week with a triple round of show moves that ended the match, Nese cuts his own promo about his strength and how he is a threat in the X division. Also it should be pointed out that Zema Ion is a heel. A young arrogant foreign heel. And will possibly be taking on Austin Aries in another heel vs heel match. But to further set the tone for his heelishness we are shown his new prop gimmick a long standing tradition with the new guys because when your a face you love football (Sorenson) and when your a heel (Zema Ion) you come out with a non descript hair spray can that you use profusely around you to show that you kill the environment. Thank you guys in the back, Russo,Pritchard,Conway and the various others with input with clarifying. We basically have a repeat of last weeks match with Zema acting all arrogant earlier in the match. He again knocks out Nese only to pick him up after 2, leading him to tell everyone to wait. He of course this week walks into Nese’s power legs and gets rolled up into a pin. Never has a contest been so obvious. Nese doesn’t even have a prop.
Promoville: Madison Rayne and The Pope
Karen’s shriek filled void this week will be induced by none other than the Queen B herself Madison Rayne. Because that is so awesome. When I see her also wearing a ref shirt I know I’m in for some more Traci bashing or some Gail proping goodness. (sarcasm is king here) Will this Knockout VP nonsense ever end in a satisfying conclusion before the outside world thinks its division revolves around Karen and/or Madison?
NO! and enjoy
Now on to the Pope feud promo. Watching this brought me into a blaxploitation movie full of 70’s cars and white snow bunnies who love their choclate daddies, it was like Superfly meets Undercover Brother. It even had racial implications as when Devon was attacked from behind and in his fury it sounded like Pope called Devon a n****** before finishing up with a black a** but you know its the stereotypical Pope letting his congragation know that he’ll be pimping in the mid card with teenage boys.
Oh and Eric Young and ODB went on a date. Because a goofball and a truckers dream
Taz: I won't lie I'd hit that
make for the best odd couple.
Rayne comes out and proceeds to call out….
Tenay: TNT, which for those who are acronym challenged are Tara and Tessmacher
Why does she call them out instead of this factions favorite punching bag Traci? Because she hates their closeness. She didn’t go for the obvious quasi lesbian jokes that should of been inputed, but you know Madison still wishes she had a friend in Tara. I guess. What we end up getting is Rayne’s patented killing crowd syndrome where every one just sits there as we watch a train wreck in progress. Tara and Tessmacher even go all Chikara on us and does the slow motion match for like 2 minutes to little reaction other than those in the know.
Tenay: And I know somewhere, Vincent Kennedy McMahon is laughing at how he has devolved women's wrestling and turned it viral. Taz: What? Tenay: Nothing.
This drags for what seems like 20 minutes when in actuality is more like 5 maybe 8 minutes. Finally ending when Tara+Tessmacher look at the crowd/tv when Madison is screeching “someone hit someone” and take out Rayne. Madison screeches some more up the ramp and we are treated to some crowd noise at TNT succeeding and shutting Rayne up.
We have a Storm promo where were he talks about where to find him. In florida, or in his local bar. Kurt takes him up on that offer and shows up in his home town were he proceeds to insult the town floozie and get into a bar fight with a bunch of rednecks eventally superkicking five men while they’re on stools. James Storm was not impressed.
Wild Card Tag Tournament: ODB + EY vs Anarquia + Shannon Moore
Shannon before the match cuts a promo with Wonder Years stating that he’s going out there and doing what he has done best for the past 17 years
Tenay: which I am assuming is walking away. Taz: Like his former partner Neal. Tenay: Bazinga!
Anarquia is a embarrassment to his faction especially as he lay writhing in pain after ODB kicked him in the balls. Rosita and Sarita just stared at him yelling. Bye bye to OVW. Eric Young and ODB win and celebrate by picking each other and Earl Hebner up. I can get behind that.
Main even match: Roode/Ray vs Sting/Hardy
In a Street Fight: Faces have control for the opening part of the match not using weapons. Eventually after a poke to the eyes Ray starts smacking every one and their momma with kendo sticks. Heels look strong beating the faces with cookware and faux Kendo sticks.
Thank you, Sandman
Eventually the faces come up victorious as Hardy pins Roode. Here’s to Genesis as Roode retains eventually leading to the epic rematch between James Storm and Roode. And we’re out until next week.
Hey, all. My internet connection has been sporadic at best, and non-existent the rest of the time. This has caused much trouble for my reviews of TNA’s “Victory Road” ppv on Sunday, and tonight’s “Impact.” AT&T has been called (again), and hopefully everything will be worked out. Apologies for depriving you of the TN-Awesomeness, or at least of my spin on it. 😛
