Home ▸ ThinkSoJoE's Thoughts ▸ ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts – Independence Edition

Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans, and happy belated Canada Day to my friends to the north. It’s time to look back at the week that was in this wacky world of professional wrestling.

The Bash was last Sunday, and the WWE managed to surprise us again – not in a main event (both of which had terrible endings, btw), but in a tag team match of all things. Yes, “Team Ego” captured the Unified Tag Team Championships in a match they weren’t originally scheduled to participate in. And the internet dubbed them, “Rated Y2J.”

Also on Sunday, it was reported that RAW ring announcer Lillian Garcia has handed in her notice to WWE and will be leaving. Lillian was very capable as an announcer, and always pumped the crowd up with her pre-show singing of “America The Beautiful.” WWE is looking for a female announcer who can sing to replace Garcia, but here’s hoping for a promotion for Justin Roberts to what WWE considers the A show.

Former WWE Superstar Brian Christopher Lawler, also known as Grand Master Sexay, was in court on Monday on charges of public intoxication. He allegedly threatened the police officer who arrested him as well, saying he’d rip the officer’s head off. Surprisingly, he was only sentenced to rehab.

On RAW it was randomly announced that 15 Superstars were involved in a trade between the three brands. For what it’s worth, the draft was just over 2 months ago. If we’re randomly going to move guys around, can we just get rid of the whole draft thing?

In the very definition of “slow news week,” it was reported that The Miz posted on his official Twitter page (http://twitter.com/mikethemiz) that he stayed up until 5:30AM watching YouTube.

Would it surprise anybody if I said that Matt Hardy complained on MySpace about something somebody said about him on the internet? I didn’t think so. Apparently some reporter on a wrestling news site complained that Matt spilled the beans on the trade (Matt went to SmackDown), when in fact Matt posted it after it hit WWE.com.

In proof that nobody watches TNA except for Drowgoddess, the IWC is speculating that Taz will debut for TNA at Victory Road. Nevermind the fact that Joe has been acting like Taz and using some of his moves while taking advice from a mysterious “advisor.” Oh, and the fact that he told AJ Styles he can ask the “advisor” who he is at Victory Road.

Word going around is that some wrestlers were upset that WWE was allegedly only paying Vickie Guerrero $500 per appearance. Those wrestlers need to shut their damned mouths. I’d kill for $500 per appearance with WWE, especially since my take home pay right now is slightly over $200 a week.

The rumor mill is buzzing with reports that Candice Michelle was released from her WWE contract because of her weight. Look, Candice may not have been as thin as the majority of the other WWE Divas, but to be fair, I’ve seen Ethiopians who weren’t as skinny as some of the WWE Divas (coughKELLYKELLYcough).

Further proving he’s a black Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley says he’s patiently waiting for a call from UFC, where he wants to fight against the top fighters.

Everybody’s favorite right wing nutjob, Warrior W. Warrior posted a blog on his official website blasting Michael Jackson. CZW (there’s those initials again) wrestler “Halfbreed” Billy Gram attempted a rebuttal to Warrior’s post via the comments, but apparently Warrior’s web team deleted them.

ROH (hey, more guys we don’t get to talk about much around here) is on shaky ground right now, with all of their TV tapings being canceled due to HDNet having enough footage to last them the summer, and only a couple of shows booked this month. We like ROH, and we truly hope they survive this unfortunate setback.

I was going to ask if anybody had $5,000 I could borrow to bail Roddy Piper out of jail, but apparently somebody beat me to it. Hot Rod was arrested under suspicion of driving drunk.

Torrie Wilson’s feelings are hurt, because WWE barely mentioned her when she participated in the 25 Diva Battle Royal at WrestleMania. I’d be upset too if my ring announcement was replaced by a medley of Kid Rock songs.

Finally, some sad news coming out of Mexico, as mini Luchadors La Parkita and Espectrito II (the latter you’ll remember as Mini Mankind in the WWE) were found drugged to death in Mexico City. (The rest of this paragraph is from an article written by Ryan Clark) The police have released that Parkita & Espectriro checked into their hotels after a show on Sunday night and were approached by two prostitutes. The two women spiked the lucha stars drinks and after they passed out stole all of their possessions. The two overdosed on the drugs the prostitutes spiked their drinks with. Police say that this M.O. matches that of a prostitute ring called “The Filtracion” (The Leak) who proposition men and then spike their drinks and then rob the men, but the spiked drinks usually don’t kill (probably because of their size, it killed them). The police have retrieved finger prints from the scene and are confident they will find the two responsible.

That’s it for me tonight, guys. Enjoy your holiday, and join us tomorrow as JT brings you another edition of Random Randomness!

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