Home ▸ Other ▸ TNA Impact; 10/10/2013

Watching Impact, eating lunch, same shit each week yadda yadda RAW reviews are awesome.

The show starts with Dixie Carter coming out to the ring. She calls Hogan self absorbed and egotistical, and says his name will never be said again. She doesn’t need any help running her company, not from any Vince, Eric Bischoff, or “Mister Stephanie Levesque”, or Jarret. Burn. She brings up AJ and how he ran in the building after being kicked out. At this point the fans start booing her and she tells them that they’re right to boo AJ. That was an awesome touch. Dixie’s getting pretty good at this. She asks AJ what he’s thinking and says she’s changed her strategy. She’s told security to let AJ in. She talks up Bully Ray and says he deserves a night off. This I didn’t like. This is the man who tried to ruin your company and for a while did. Him being a heel is no reason for a heel to suddenly support him. It’s amazing how quickly I went from praising Dixie to booing her. Anyway, she says that Bully is getting “carte blanche” and explains this means “blank cheque” in hick.

At this point she’s interrupted by Sting as she says that Bully Ray will get to book AJ into a match tonight and with any stipulation he wants. Sting asks her what’s going on and Dixie says some more stuff about AJ. Bound For Glory can’t be her wake up call because she’s already wide awake. The guys in the back are the ones who need to wake up and realise that they’re under review. This includes Sting too because Sting was the one who recommended Hogan to her for the GM spot. She chastises Sting for making the match with Magnus and asks him if he wants to be fired. She doesn’t want to do it to Sting but she will. She makes a tag match between Sting and Magnus and Kaz and Daniels. Sting tells her to knock it off and tell him what’s really going on. Dixie ignores him and says that if Sting’s team lose the tag match then neither of them will be at Bound For Glory. She calls Sting “Steve” and wishes him luck as the segment ends.

I paused the show during this segment, and this was what it paused on. Enjoy your nightmares!

More backstage as we’re with AJ this time. He’s not concerned about Bully’s revenge and never backs down. Dixie knows that, and she knows he’s going to make her pay.

Jeff Hardy vs Austin Aries
They start slow with chain wrestling and tie ups. This lasts about five years as they trade control of the match. Nothing really interesting happens until Aries starts to take control with a bulldog from the corner and a running elbow drop. Hardy hits an incredibly sloppy looking head scissors and the action goes outside the ring as we go to break.

We come back with the action back in the ring. Hardy is in control of the match until Aries slips out the way and Hardy runs into the corner. Hardy gets thrown out the ring and into the announce table, knocking it back a good distance. Aries hits a neckbreaker through the ropes and lands a missile dropkick and hits a Brain Buster off the ropes for the win. I think he might actually have busted Hardy’s brain.

Samoa Joe comes out post match and congratulates Aries on his win. He recaps what happened last week and declares himself the fifth participant in the Ultimate X match at Bound For Glory. Seems this show is going pretty well considering it doesn’t have a GM. All the wrestlers have become GMs.

Joe gives no fucks.

Backstage with Bromanz. No one gives a fuck what they have to say.

Joseph Park and Eric Young are going on a road trip to San Diego for Bound For Glory. I don’t know why but I think I’d actually enjoy seeing that. I feel bad about that. They drive a few feet and then stop, realising that ODB has a match and so they can’t leave yet.

Bromanz are in the ring. I still don’t give a fuck. They call out ODB who comees out with EY. Apparently we have a match. Remember guys, hitting women is wrong.

Jessie Godderz or whatever vs ODB
Yep, this shit happened. Fuck this. Some comedy shit happens and Lei’D Tapa interrupts the match. She looks intense but I could really do without the screaming. ODB doesn’t back down and Tapa beats her down and hits whatever it is her finisher is called and poses with the title.

Seems she’s been saying “Knocked up champion” for a while.

Backstage segment with Bully. He’s on his way out. There’s another backstage segment with Aces and Threes. Brodus and Knux run Bully down, blaming him for the fact they only have three members now. I’d say they have five. Tazz is still a member and, technically, so is Toto Ortiz. He was pulled from Impact, but not the club. Bully blames Anderson. Anderson put Devon’s job on the line and let his ego get in the way when he challenged Bully to the title. Bully is the president and the champion, and the others were there to protect it. Knux agrees that Anderson did let his ego get in the way, but Bully still shouldn’t have given him a pile driver. Bully agrees that maybe he did go too far, but they need to focus on tonight. He wants Knux and Brodus to take out AJ Styles and hypes them up. I’d follow that man to Hell.

Another backstage segment. This one with Sting and Magnus. They patch stuff up as Magnus says he did need the kick up the backside that Sting gave him last week, and he’ll take their match seriously. He’s also wearing a shirt that says “Save the tatas”…seriously. Sting talks up Bound For Glory and what it’s done for him. He’s won the world title three different times at three different Bound For Glory’s. Even though he can’t win the title anymore, it’s still showtime. Magnus says to put the match out of their minds for now as they need to focus on tonight, and EGO.

Yet another segment. This time with EGO. Awesome comedy stuff.

EGO Hall of Fame Ceremony

Kaz and Daniels come out in epic suits. Kaz is in orange and Daniels is in baby blue. They have canes too and fence and dance their way to the ring. They have a huge throne in the ring too. Daniels says that as well as being the first EGO Hall of Fame ceremony it’s also Throwback Thursday. They explain their outfits, saying that they’re dressed like the fans of the Main Event Mafia, and all the frauds. Speaking of frauds, there are many fraudelent hall of fames out there. Kaz lists a few and why they’re fraudelent. Kaz introduces Bobby Roode and the man himself calls out in a proper tuxedo. EGO is just the greatest thing ever. May they never break up.

I loved this so damn much.

He calls Bobby a true hall of famer and runs down Sting. He lists off Roode’s achievements and titles and asks the fans to stand for Bobby Roode. I legitimately paused the show, stood up, and clapped for Bobby Roode. Roode takes to the podium and thanks the fans. He goes on to thank Kaz and Daniels and starts crying. Without Kaz and Daniels none of this would have been possible. He then goes on to thank himself and says he deserves the hall of fame induction over Kurt Angle, blaming the fans for Angle being inducted. He asks what Kurt Angle has done lately, and done for Impact. He went to rehab, that’s what. Roode was the longest reigning world chmapion and main evented all over the world while Kurt Angle has done nothing. Roode asks where Angle is now and Angle’s music hits and he comes out on to the ramp. I really thought they would save his return for the PPV. Angle rips off his shirt and gets in the ring. He’s looking pretty damn good. He should have gone into rehab ages ago. Angle refers to Kaz and Daniels as Roode’s girlfriends and delivers some suplexes to them before putting the Ankle Lock on Roode who worms out of it and runs up the ramp. Angle makes a match between himself and Roode.

Neither words nor pictures can explain how amazing that segment was.

Backstage Roode is pretty annoyed. Can’t say I blame him. He confirms the match between himself and Angle.

Velvet Sky vs Brooke Tessmacher
Velvet makes her entrance as usual and Sabin uses his jacket to cover her up. Brooke Tessmacher has lost her last name and is just Brooke now. Brooke focuses on the injured midsection and even tries to take the bandage off of Velvet. Velvet hits a ton of offense, totally ignoring the fact she has injured ribs, but can’t put Brooke away. Sabin calls Velvet over to talk strategy and Brooke hits a small package for the win, earning a spot in the knockouts title match at Bound for Glory.

There’s another Ethan segment that was taped “earlier tonight”. Actually it’s the SAME segment they played last week. The exact same segment. Though they added a bit to the end of it. It turns out his name is Ethan Carter III. I guess someone fucked up when they either played the video last week, or put the caption that it was filmed this week on it.

A sneak peek at the TNA creative department.

Bad Influence vs Sting and Magnus
Magnus and Daniels start it off with Magnus keeping control. He tags Sting in after just a few minutes and Sting is treated as a God. Sting accidentally hits Magnus after an Irish Whip and Bad Influence take advantage and control as we go to break. Back from break and Bad Influence are heeling all over Magnus. They replay an awesome double team move that Bad Influence did during the break and they hit another, equally impressive double team move in real time. Kaz taunts Sting who gets held back by the ref and Kaz and Daniels swap places while the ref’s back is turned. Normally when a ref doesn’t see a tag he’ll kick the new guy out. Magnus fights back and we get the hot tag at last.

Sting lays waste to Kaz and Daniels gets thrown out the ring. Magnus hits a huge top rope elbow but doesn’t go for the pin, opting to try and submit Kaz. Daniels runs in and breaks up the submission. Sting tags himself in and picks up the win, teasing dissension between Sting and Magnus.

I’m actually not sure how I’ll feel about a Magnus heel turn, but so far I’m okay with it.

AJ is backstage. Dixie finds him and tells AJ he doesn’t have to do the match, or the match against Bully Ray. She offers AJ a check, telling him he can buy trailers with it and start a foundation for all the little redneck kids who can’t read. I have such mixed feelings about Dixie. AJ agrees that you can buy a lot of stuff with that money but she can’t buy him. He rips up the check and throws it in her face. Dixie gets the last word, saying that she didn’t sign the check anyway.

AJ Styles vs Aces of Funk
As long as Bischoff is in the team I can still refer to them as the Aces of Funk. Bully kicks Tenay off of commentary and takes his spot on commentary. AJ attacks the Aces before the match starts and the ref regains control. AJ and Brodus start things off officially with AJ taking control of the match quickly and beating the funk out of Brodus. Knux tags himself in and gets revenge for Brodus, putting AJ down hard. The Aces of Threes tag in and out and keep beating AJ down, including a nice looking suplex by Brodus. His coming in might have been nepotism but he seems to be doing a decent job of fitting in. Unless he’s just being protected that well.

Anyway, back to the match. AJ fights back and takes control with his high flying. Knux accidentally knocks Brodus down and AJ hits a pele kick and rolls up Brodus for the win. His good feeling doesn’t last long as the Aces of Funk beat the hell out of AJ. Bully runs in and pulls them off of AJ so that he can whip him with the chain. He tells Knux and Bischoff to stay in the corner so they can see how a real man fights. AJ makes his way to his feet and Bully throws him over the ropes and onto the ramp. The show goes off the air with Bully telling AJ that the last face he’s going to see will be his, Bully’s, and the last voice he hears will be his.

It did get a little rapey though.

This can also be a bit of a bad thing though as it can be hard to keep track of it all. In the end though I’ll easily give this show a solid 7/10.

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