Home ▸ Impact ▸ TNA iMPACT: 9/18/08

Tonight, it’s the fallout from No Surrender.  There’s a bunch of stuff announced for tonight, but I’m too lazy to find out what it is.  I guess you’ll just have to read the detailed results to find out what happened!

Detailed results after the jump! 

Ah!  The lights are exploding!  Oh wait, that’s TNA’s opening pyro.  Samoa Joe makes his way to the ring to, idk, talk about somethingorother.  Joe’s got Sting at Bound For Glory, so he’s gotta be happy.  He’s sporting a black eye and says he was taken to the limit this past Sunday at No Surrender.  He gives Angle and Cage credit for giving it all they’ve got in front of the greatest fans in the world.  While they’re busting their asses, where’s Sting?  At home having tea parties with his kid.  Joe would die for the fans.  When’s the last time Sting sacraficed anything for TNA?  At Bound For Glory, it’s going to be Joe and Sting, and Joe says it’ll be Sting asking for his respect, but all he’ll get is an ass kicking.  Joe says that Sting should be ready to kiss his ass.

Earlier today, Jeff Jarrett showed up, and he’s got something to say and hopes Sting’s listening.  Apparently he doesn’t want to tell JB.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Mike “Right in the Family Jewels” Tenay welcomes us back to the show, and wonders what Kurt Angle is going to have to say about Jeff Jarrett costing him the TNA title… speaking of Kurt Angle, here he is!

Kurt has a message for Jarrett and he’s going to give it to him later, but right now, he wants his gold medals back from AJ Styles.  Security removes Angle from the ring, and the Motor City Machine Guns make their way out for action.

Christian Cage & AJ Styles def. The Motor City Machine Guns

I missed the first five minutes of the match due to a phone call, so I’ll try to get past all the distractions and watch the rest of it.  When I get back to it, the Machine Guns have Cage tied to the tree of woe, and Shelley hits the hesitation dropkick.  The Guns keep the advantage for a minute before Cage finally manages to battle back, even causing Sabin to kick Shelley on accident.  Cage tags Styles, who hits a cool looking Fujiwara armbar.  Then all hell breaks loose (in the match), and I lose track of what’s going on, until Styles drops Sabin with the Styles Clash for the victory.

After the match, Sabin shakes hands with his opponents, but Shelley flips Cage off and tries to attack him.

We then get a Booker T promo, followed by JB backstage with Booker T.  Booker talks about the disrespect in some stupid accent.  He says that disrespect runs rampant, and what just happened to Christian Cage and how Jay Lethal disrespects Randy Savage is a prime example of what Sting’s been talking about.  Sharmell says that Booker knows everything, and that he’ll watch, listen, and then react to Jeff Jarrett later tonight.  JB asks Book what’s in his briefcase, but Booker dismisses him.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

That Mad Max looking cage dealy is apparently back at Bound For Glory.  You know, the steel asylum.

TO THE BACK!  Lauren asks Shiek Abdul Bashir about his X Division title win.  He talks about the stock market crash and politics.  He wants to know what the politicians can do for him.  He says the title is step one in him getting his life back together.  Then he goes on his spiel about how much he hates America since 9/11.  He dares anybody to try and take the belt from him.  Are you willing to lose everything?  He is, because he’s got nothing left to lose.

The former X Division Champion, Little Petey Pump is on his way to the ring for six man tag action.  His partners are Johnny Devine and Jimmy Rave.

The Prince Justice Brotherhood def. Petey Williams, Johnny Devine & Jimmy Rave

The heels take advantage of their managers early in the match.  When I start paying attention again, it’s Devine and Curry Man in the ring, with Devine in control, until Devine tries to distract the referee and inadvertantly gets his partners taken down.  Curry Man tags Super Eric as Devine tags Petey.  Not that it matters, all hell breaks loose, and all six men end up in the ring.  Devine and Rave inadvertantly take Petey down with a double clothesline, allowing Super Eric to hit a cross body from the top rope on Williams for the victory.

Devine and Rave shove the referee and then attack Williams.  Lance Rock throws the referee down and goes after Williams, but the referee gets pissed off and attacks Rave, Divine, and Rock.  Yes, it’s the same referee who attacked Shiek Abdul Bashir a couple weeks ago.  Earl Hebner rushes out to try and calm the referee down.

TO THE BACK!  JB tells Sting that Jarrett has something to say and wants him to listen.  Sting pretty much says ok.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Matt Morgan gets some kind of plaque for getting chosen to get his DNA sent into space in October.

Matt Morgan apologizes for getting angry with Abyss at Bound For Glory.  Abyss accepts his apology and starts ripping out his own hair.  Then he hands it to Morgan.  Morgan tells him they beat Team 3D convincingly.  Can Abyss imagine how great of a team they’d be?  Abyss says he’d have to ask his therapist.  Morgan says he’ll be his therapist and that he’s already signed them up for a tag tournament at BFG.  Brother Ray says that it was a fluke, because Devon and he were having a bad day, because Devon was with a 300 pound white chick, and Brother Ray was working out and pulled his groin.  They’ll be in the tournament too.

Miss Jaqueline is on her way to the iMPACT Zone, and for some reason she’s coming through LAX’s entrance.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Back from break, Jacqueline is antagonizing Hector Guerrero.  She slaps him a few times.  When he comes after her, Beer Money attacks him from behind.  LAX run out to make the save but Beer Money bails.  Traci Brooks comes out and says that Jim Cornette wants Jaqueline and Hector Guerrero in his office right now.

Video package detailing Roxxi’s hardcore history.

Sting is coming back down the stairs.  Wonder what he was doing up there?  Then we get a shot of Samoa Joe back in his locker room.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Jaqueline and Hector Guerrero are arguing in Jim Cornette’s locker room.  Traci has no idea when Salinas is coming back after Jacqueline attacked her at No Surrender.  Jacqueline gets permission to wrestle against men, since she decided to attack Hector.  Next week, we’ll see six person tag team action, Beer Money & Jacqueline vs. LAX & Hector Guerrero.  The losing team loses their manager.

We get a video package of Sting talking about respect.  Then his theme song plays and he comes out to the ring with a mic in lieu of his trademark black baseball bat.  He says that Joe’s words cut to the bone.  The truth is that Joe is naieve and immature.  Joe’s ticked off that Sting goes to his son’s football games.  He forgets that when he was little, Sting was paying his dues, working in front of a hundred people in small gymnasiums for fifty bucks at the most.  Sting’s been doing this for 20 years and doesn’t forget where he came from.  Sting earned his respect, learning from the best in this business.  15 years from now, what’s he going to do when disrespect runs wild on him?  Sting learned from Magnum TA and Nikita Koloff, Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, and he listened very intently to Ric Flair.  Disrespect might come up in Joe’s face sooner than he thinks.  Sting’s got some tricks up his sleeve at BFG.  It’s going to be showtime.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We get a promo for Suicide.  You know, the character from the video game.

Later tonight, Double J speaks, and Booker T takes on Jay Lethal.

Promo for the knockouts division.  They make fun of Divas.

JB is asking Christian and AJ what they think of Shelley’s disrespect earlier.  AJ says the two of them are on the same page.  Cage asks what side.  AJ says “our side.”  Christian says he calls the shots around here.  Christian walks away, and AJ blames JB.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Lauren doesn’t know where to start with Jay Lethal – Lethal says he’ll tell her where to stop.  He was screwed by that tramp, his ex fiance, who shall remain nameless.  He wants to kill her and Sonjay.  He’s in a bad mood tonight.  He says Booker T doesn’t know anything.  Lethal takes great pride in honoring Randy Savage every night.  Tonight, Lethal is going to disrespect Booker’s ass all over this arena.

CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA!?!?!

Booker T and Sharmell are ok and somehow made it to Florida for iMPACT.  He’s the bad guy here though, so I’m not supposed to really care.  He’s in action, right now!

Booker T def. Jay Lethal

It’s a back and forth matchup to start.  Lethal sends Booker flying out of the ring.  Book moves out of the way of a baseball slide, but Lethal nails him from behind.  Booker starts to battle back, but gets reversed when he tries to send Lethal into the steel ringpost.  Lethal stays in control until Sharmell distracts him.  Booker takes over from there, getting Lethal in the corner and chopping the hell out of him, Ric Flair style.  Lethal won’t back down though, he fights back.  Booker knees him a couple of times, but misses a superkick.  Book still doesn’t lose control, and he locks in an arm lock on Lethal.  He hits his reverse kick, taking Lethal down again.He goes for the Axe Kick, but Lethal moves out of the way, and starts to chop away on Booker T.  Book doesn’t let the advantage last too long, but from this point the match starts to go back and forth again.  Lethal goes to bounce off the ropes, but Sharmell trips him, allowing Booker to hit the Axe Kick and pick up the victory.

TO THE BACK!  Kyp James, Angelina Love, and Velvet Sky are with Lauren.  Angelina has a pimple and needs to see her dermatologist.  Apparently the promo had something to do with Rhino, but I wasn’t paying much attention.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We’ve got a mixed tag team match, scheduled for one fall…

Taylor Wilde & Rhino vs. Velvet Sky & “Cute Kyp”

I hate the fact that Monte Sopp has changed his ring name to “Cute Kyp.”  On top of that, how did he get a job as a fashion consultant?  Did short shorts with lips all over them suddenly become fashionable?  Anyways, the Knockouts start this one, with Sky getting the early advantage.  Wilde won’t tag Rhino though.  When she finally takes Sky down, Sky rushes to the corner and tags in Kyp, which of course brings in The War Machine.  He inadvertantly whips James into referee Slick Johnson.  Kyp moves out of the way of the Gore, distracts the referee, and Sky sprays something in the eyes of Rhino.  Kyp takes him down for a two count and tags in Velvet Sky, who goes to work on Rhino.  Seriously.  She distracts the referee, and Kyp nails Rhino in the face.  Sky tags him back in, and he keeps working over Rhino.  He sets him up in the corner, and goes for a big splash, but Rhino moves and Kyp eats turnbuckle.  Rhino tags in Taylor Wilde, as Kyp James tags in Velvet Sky.  Taylor hits a bridge suplex for two, then Rhino Gores Kyp.  Angelina Love runs down and hands Sky a pipe.  She swings and misses, then eats a Taylor Wilde DDT.  Wilde picks up the pinfall and celebrates with Rhino.

After the match, Kyp and The Beautiful People attack Rhino and Wilde.  They toss Taylor out of the ring, and Kyp drops Rhino with the Fame-asser.  As Kyp leaves, Love and Sky taunt Rhino, but get dropped by the Knockout Champion.  Kyp gets in the ring and stands up to Wilde, but Kong’s music hits.  She storms to the ring, and Wilde dives on her from the top rope.  She gets a shot in on Raesha Saeed for good measure before we go to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Taylor Wilde and Rhino are on the recieving end of the Brown Paper Bag treatment thanks to The Beautiful People, Kyp James, Raesha Saeed, and Awesome Kong.

We get a history lesson on Jeff Jarrett.  Surprisingly, his performance of “With My Baby Tonight” was left out.  Lucky you, here it is!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Back from break, and on his way to the ring, it’s J-E-Double-F, haha, J-A-Double-R-E-Double-T.  Ain’t he great?  He had no choice but to come out and address a few things.  Six years ago, you weren’t just watching Jeff the wrestler, you were watching Jeff Jarrett, the founder of TNA Wrestling.  A TNA chant breaks out.  When WCW went out of business, Jeff had a vision of a wrestling organization to be created to give young guys their big break.  Jeff started when he was sixteen, he knows how hard it is to get a break.  He wanted TNA to be the place for guys that deserved their break.  He thanks the lord, and his precious wife Jill (R.I.P.) and the wrestling fans around the world from the bottom of his heart.  A “Thank you Jeff” chant breaks out.  He says “no.”  Lately something’s gone on that he can’t ignore.  Sting is listening, Jeff wants to talk to him face to face.  Sting comes to the ring.  Jarrett says that they’ve been in the business a long time.  Jeff’s father gave Sting his break, and is proud of it.  He extended the olive branch to Sting, like Jeff’s trying to do for others.  He’s been watching Sting’s actions and listening to what he’s had to say.  He’s got one thing to say:  “You are so full of crap.”  Sting is trying to say it’s about disrespect, that the young guys are disrespecting the veterans.  Jarrett had a dream, and the dream is becoming a phenomenon thanks to AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.  There have been times where guys like them have carried the company on their backs and showed Jeff the utmost respect, just like he showed them.  This ain’t about disrespect, it’s about the veterans not passing the torch to the young guys, just like what happened to WCW.  It’s because the veterans wanted to hold on to their spot.  It’s about the young guys nipping at Sting’s heels.  It’s about guys like Sting, Booker T, and Kurt Angle.  All they want to do is take take take and not give.  This ain’t WCW.  It’s TNA.  Jarrett’s not going to stand for it.

This brings out Kurt Angle.

Angle wants to know why Sting gets a face to face, but Angle gets talked about behind his back.  Jarrett cuts him off.  He tells him that he knows the story better than anybody.  Two years ago, when Jeff stepped away due to family health issues, he picked a suitible replacement.  That guy was Kurt Angle.  Guess what?  As the founder of TNA Wrestling, it was the worst decision he’d ever made.  Look what’s happened – Kurt lost his family, his wife, his TNA title, and his precious gold medals.  The only thing he’s got left to lose is his stinkin’ dignity.  Angle takes his turn to speak.  He says that the only reason Jarrett left the business was because he was over the hill, and Sting kicked his ass.  We know about Jarrett’s personal issue, but the bottom line is, he had no heart.  What he found looking for somebody to fill his shoes was a younger, better version of him.  For two years, Angle’s carried this company on his own.  Not once did Jarrett thank him for saving his company.  Him and the fans, they’re nothing but assholes.  He’s an Olympic gold medalist, he demands respect.  Instead of trading words, let’s trade punches at BFG?  No dice, Kurt, Double J’s got nothing left to prove as a wrestler.  Angle says if you’re not a wrestler, get the hell out of his ring, because the ring is for wrestlers, not washed up hasbeens like Jeff Jarrett.  Jeff says “don’t push me,” because he doesn’t want any part of the pain he’s been wearing for the last two years, but…

BANG BANG!

Mick Foley appears on the TNA-tron and says hello to everybody in the iMPACT Zone.  He says what Jeff is trying to say is, it’s real, it’s damn real.  BANG BANG!

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