Home ▸ Impact ▸ TNA iMPACT results 3/22/10

It’s the fallout from Destination X!  Hulk Hogan has a special announcement pertaining to April’s Lockdown event, the TNA Knockouts are in action, and the TNA Tag Team Champions, Matt Morgan and Hernandez, will face each other one on one!  It’s Totally Monday, it’s Nonstop save for the commercials, and it’s completely live Action!  Let’s cross the line!

———-X———-

Eric Bischoff is playing the guitar, and pretty well I might add.  This is actually already the best segment they’ve had since moving to Monday nights.  Go Easy E, you ROCK!  He says it’s a little piece he put together when he was running with the bulls in ’92.  It’s called “What you don’t know about me.”  We didn’t know he’s a classically trained musician.  That’s one of the reasons he has a problem with Jeff Jarrett.  EB takes offense to the fact that Jarrett uses his guitar as a prop.  Maybe he can actually play the guitar.  EB doesn’t think so, but hey, let’s give him a shot.  He calls Jarrett out.  Jarrett heads to the ring.  Bischoff didn’t think he had the guts to come out and take him up on his challenge.  Jarrett doesn’t, and Bischoff asks him to sing us a tune.  Jarrett says that if Bischoff thinks he’ll humiliate him, he’s got another thing coming.  Bischoff says Jarrett doesn’t have the stones.  As bad as he wants to knock him out, he doesn’t have the guts.  He dares Jarrett to hit him.  Jarrett snatches Bischoff’s guitar and reels back, but when it becomes apparent that Jarrett won’t hit him, Bischoff smiles.  Jarrett leaves, and Bischoff says that he knew Jarrett didn’t have the guts.  He can go home and tell his little girls that he didn’t have the stones to do what he had to do as a man.  That’s why Jarrett’s not running the company, Bischoff is.  Jarrett returns, and Bischoff turns directly into a guitar shot.

Backstage, Mick Foley applauds as Jarrett returns.  Jarrett wonders if Foley has any idea how good it felt.  Foley believes he does.

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@SWCtheJuggalo Woo hoo! @JeffJarrettTNA smashed Eric Bischoff in the head with a guitar. It’s about damn time!

@MrTHill LOL Eric Bishoef just got owned by Jeff Jarett 😛 #TNA #GUITAR

Moments Ago: Jeff Jarrett went El Kabong on Eric Bischoff.

Bischoff is still sin the ring struggling to get up.  He told Jarrett he’s crossed the line.  Him and Mick Foley both.  He could fire either one of them for nothing more than the cost of a FedEx, but he’s not.  He’s going to enjoy this.  They wanna play games in EB’s ring?  Well tonight, they’ll face each other in the center of the ring.  He doesn’t give a damn who wins or loses, because whoever loses is fired from TNA and the winner is going to be Bischoff’s bitch.

Backstage, Foley says it’s kind of a short lived celebration, and Jarrett blames himself.  Foley says it’s both of their faults.

The Beautiful People make their way out to the ring, set for 8 knockout tag team action.  I guess it’s WWE doesn’t have the monopoly on multi-woman clusterf*(# matches.  TBP will be teaming with Daffney, who stole Tara’s tarantula, Poison last night.  Tara’s pissed about it, she doesn’t even wait for her entrance music before rushing the ring.  She’s attacked by The Beautiful People.  Taylor Wilde, Sarita, and Angelina Love hit the ring and make the save.  Apparently, we’ll have the actual match, NEXT!

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@skarlettefever  spike tv cant even get what show is on correct.,., they just said #UFC  fight night is brought to you by.,., its #TNA  ., good job Spike TV

@stevecash  #TNA  Hey, a Steve Austin movie commercial during Impact. Reminds me there’s a better wrestling show on another channel.

The Beautiful People & Daffney def. Tara, Angelina Love, Taylor Wilde, & Sarita

Ugh.  I hate these on WWE, why the hell would I want to watch them on TNA.  There’s just too much crap going on in this style match. Daffney holds up Poison at one point, and Tara grabs her by the throat.  Velvet Sky tags herself in and all hell breaks loose.  Angelina hits PayDirt on Daffney, but Velvet attacks from behind and drops her with a DDT.  After a bunch more crap, Tara finally nails Lacey with the Widow’s Peak.  She goes to get Poison, but Daffney gets back in and hits the Lobotomy Neckbreaker for the victory.

After the match, Daffney takes Poison and leaves.

Outside, AJ Styles is walking with a crutch and Ric Flair is in a wheelchair.  The van they got out of says “Orlando Stripperama” on it.

Up Next, Hulk Hogan has a major announcement about Lockdown.

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@MannieBSF  WOW!!! GREAT FINISHER! #BWFTNA

@Kevin4theWin  Ha Ric Flair is finally in something he belongs to be in a wheel chair!!! #TNA

Uh oh.  Somebody better call @BrotherMeter – Hulk Hogan is on his way to the ring, and he’s got Abyss with him.  I liked what Abyss was wearing last week better than what he’s wearing now.  Ah well, whatever.  Hogan says that Abyss and his Abyssamaniacs have TNA on fire, brother!  Anyways, Bischoff was right.  Flair does know every button to push on Hogan.  The way things went down tonight, Bischoff is starting to learn that this personal thing doesn’t work out.  Hogan vows that he’ll get this company back on track, and it will be only business starting at Lockdown.  Abyss will be the captain of Team Hogan as they take on Team Flair in Lethal Lockdown.  Abyss hopes that Flair and Styles stayed at the hotel decided to crash, because it’s safer than showing up and crashing through whatever part of the iMPACT Zone that Abuss sees fit.  You can’t imagine the energy Abyss felt when he chokeslammed Styles through the ring last night.  He’s not just a monster, he’s a pissed off monster.  He didn’t win the title, but he won respect.  It’s a new day in TNA, and at Lockdown, Abyss will win for Hogan.  When he’s done, Flair and Styles won’t need crutches or bandages, they’ll need a mortician.  What are they gonna do when Abyss runs fatal on them?

Flair’s music hits, and he and Styles make their way out.  Flair says he’s pissed off.  St Louis is in the middle of Flair Country.  He’s a cage match specialist.  Abyss can’t kill Flair and Styles – they’re not mortals, they’re wrestling Gods.  JBL should sue.  Styles says he has Abyss beat until Hogan showed up.  Flair says that the captain of Team Flair will be Sting!

The lights go out and Sting’s music plays.  When they come back on, Sting is sitting on the turnbuckle, Hogan is double cuffed to the ring ropes, and Styles hits abyss with his crutch.  Sting smiles as Styles beats down Abyss.  The Pope’s music hits, and he attacks Styles, who he’ll face at Lockdown for the TNA Championship.  Pope hits the DD Express and unlocks Hogan.  Hogan points up the ramp at Flair, who tries to wheel his way out of the iMPACT Zone when Chelsea abandons him.  Hogan catches up to him and wheels him to the top of the ramp.  Hogan shoves the wheelchair down the ramp, where Abyss is waiting to clothesline him.  Pope shoves a $20 bill in Flair’s mouth.

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Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore, and RVD show up.  Christy Hemme asks what their plans are.  Hardy says they’re going to have fun at somebody else’s expense – and to rock his new t-shirt.

Tomko is already in the ring, which doesn’t say much for his chances in this Global Championship match against Big Rob Terry.

Rob Terry def. Tomko to retain the TNA Global Championship

Beer Money will be the guest referees for the Foley/Jarrett match tonight.  Anyways, Terry destroys Tomko and retains the Global Championship.

Jarrett and Foley are both shown walking backstage, and their match is NEXT!

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@BrotherMeter Hulk Hogan said #brother 4 times in the 3rd Quarter Hour of #TNA Impact

To The Back: JB asks Foley and Jarrett about their match.  Foley says if he’s going to leave TNA, it will be on his own accord.  He’s been thinking of how to force Bischoff out over the last few months.  Jarrett says they’ve got TNA pride.  They both deserve to be here.  Foley says they owe it to themselves and each other to go out and show the fans that they belong to be here, and the only way to do that is by winning.  Jarrett says not only does he owe it to the fans and his family, he owes it to Foley.

Beer Money Inc. make their way to the ring as the special guest referees for this match.  Foley gets his entrance first.  Jarrett doesn’t get music or pyro – but he’s got a video on the big screen – as he heads to the ring.  One of these guys is here for the last time, apparently.  Beer Money check for foreign objects, and James Storm calls for the bell.

Jeff Jarrett def. Mick Foley

Both men very cautious in the early going.  Storm seems to call it right down the middle, as do the iMPACT Zone fans with dueling chants of “Let’s Go Jarrett” and “Let’s Go Foley.”  Foley goes for frequent covers, none successful early on.  Foley goes for a double arm DDT, Jarrett reverses into a Stroke attempt, but when he’s shoved off, Robert Roode grabs Jarrett’s leg.  Foley attacks off of the distraction.  As Foley and Jarrett battle on the outside, Eric Bischoff, with an ice pack to his head, heads toward the broadcast table, and we head to…

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@xsmootx #TNA  Wait, why’s Beer Money the refs in this match, why are there two refs? Oh, sorry. I forgot what show I’m watching for a moment.

@treyirby A Jeff Jarrett/Mick Foley match in 2010 on free Impact. Woo boy, the ratings draw there. #tna

@Ilabene Foley/Jarrett on #tna *switch* #wwe #raw  #mnw

Foley and Jarrett are battling at the top of the ramp.  Bischoff just wants this to end so he can find out which one to fire.  Jarrett suplexes Foley on the ramp.  Jarrett tries to use a steel chair, but Foley avoids it and hits a double arm DDT, but gets two when Jarrett gets his foot on the rope.  Foley breaks out Mr. Socko, and he locks in the Mandible Claw.  Jarrett goes for the ropes, but Roode kicks his hand off.  Foley locks in the Mandible Claw and gets Jarrett in a body scissors, but Jarrett managed to escape.  Foley charged in with the chair, but Jarrett booted it into his face, then hit the stroke onto the chair.  The pinfall, and Mick Foley is gone from TNA.

Jarrett is disappointed as Robert Roode waves goodbye to Foley.  Mick comes over and puts his arm around Jarrett, then raises his hand.  Jarrett raises Foley’s hand.  The two of them shake hands then hug, as Eric Bischoff pretends to cry.  Bischoff waves goodbye to Foley as he leaves, and says “good luck in your future endeavors, ya tub.”  Bischoff says we’re not done yet.  He grabs a microphone.  He thinks Beer Money doesn’t want to go home yet, so he invites them to give Double J a taste of their medicine.  Beer Money assault Jarrett, sending him head first into a wedged steel chair.  Jeff Hardy and RVD hit the ring and chase Beer Money off, much to the chagrin of Eric Bischoff.

RVD gets a microphone.  He ponders which one is Beer and which one is Money (Storm: “I’M BEER!”).  He introduces himself and Hardy, and says that it would be fun for Hardy and himself to bounce Beer Money around the ring tonight.  Roode accepts on behalf of Beer Money.

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@PrettySlimMont  Tomko……#damnshame U lost in a squash match 2 Robo-Cop Terry #bwftna

@bsieckman  Damn. Beer Money vs. Jeff Hardy & RVD main event on iMPACT tonight. Not too shabby. #tna #wwe

Mick Foley is saying goodbye to his friends backstage when Bubba the DouchSponge asks how it feels to be leaving TNA.  Foley doesn’t want to talk to him.  Bubba tells him not to let the door hit him on the ass on the way out.  Foley knocks him out and says “BANG BANG!”

Bischoff is proud of himself as he walks into Hogan’s office.  Hogan isn’t thrilled about Foley being gone.  Bischoff says he should’ve been more patient.  Hogan says from now on it’s business over personal.  Bischoff says Hogan’s right.  He wonders for a moment if Hogan sent out RVD and Hardy, but then decides to forget about it.

Beer Money say that they only care about themselves from here on out, so RVD and Hardy, sorry about your damn luck!

Up next, it’s Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

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@EdgyBoo247 If Mr Anderson is not on TNA tonight I’mma frickkkin riot #TNA

@Peroxwhyjenn  Jeff and RVD teaming is too epic for words! It is huge!!! Great move #TNA!

Backstage, JB is with Jeff Hardy and RVD.  Hardy says he knows a thing or two about tag team wrestling.  RVD says it’s not their first shindig.  They know exactly what they’re doing.  Tonight, it’s Beer Money’s turn, courtesy of Jeff Hardy and Mr. Monday Night.

Video: Matt Morgan and Hernandez haven’t been getting along too well lately.

Hernandez attacks Morgan as he’s walking to the ring.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

SuperMex is relentless early on in this one.  Morgan finally stops the assault when he backdrops a charging Hernandez over the top rope and to the floor.  Outside, Hernandez tries to clothesline Morgan, but Morgan ducks and Hernandez clotheslines the steel post.  The Blueprint nails the Carbon Footprint, sandwiching Hernandez’ head between his foot and the steel post.  The referee throws up the X sign, and the trainers come out.  Homicide comes out to check on him as well.  Hernandez does the stretcher job as we go to break.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

@oldiesmike  Call me cruel, but I love when works bring tears to fans eyes. #TNA

@Devious_T  Damn nice segment from #TNA That kick from Morgan was fucking naaaaaasty. Great sell, they had me wondering to…

Editor note: I can’t tell you for sure if this is a work or a shoot.  I’d venture to say it’s a work for a few reasons, but I guess we’ll probably find out for sure in the next couple of days.

Hernandez is loaded into the ambulance as we come back.  Hogan asks to make sure somebody calls Hernandez’ wife.  Tenay and Taz look dead serious as they discuss the injury.  The show must go on, as they say, so they throw it to a video of Nash turning on Young, leading to The Band getting a contract.

Beer Money, Inc. make their way to the ring and we’re ready for our Main Event!  Rob Van Dam has new music this week.  It just keeps saying “ROB VAN DAM – THE WHOLE EFFIN’ SHOW” over and over again, but at least it fits him better than the music he had for his debut match against Sting.  Hardy comes out and we’re ready for action!

RVD and Jeff Hardy def. Beer Money, Inc.

Ok, I’m cheating.  I didn’t see this match, as I had to leave for work.  I’m like a high school kid copying off the paper of his classmate.  Here are the match results, courtesy of PWInsider.com:

SpikeTV has given the okay, we’re going to stick with this match until it ends! That is so Nitro, but in a good way. Hardy and Storm start, and Storm with a boot to the gut and a series of rights, but Hardy slides out to the floor, pulls Roode off the apron, then gets up on the apron and backdrops Storm onto Roode on the floor. Hardy pulls a ladder out from under the ring and puts it on the guardrail and the ring apron as we go to commercial!

We’re back for the conclusion of our main event as Roode whips RVD hard into the corner, but eats elbow on a charge and RVD with a moonsault out of the corner for 2. Roode regains control and tags out to Storm, who pokes RVD in the eyes and then comes off the ropes right into a spinkick from RVD. RVD with the hot tag to Hardy who comes in and cleans house on Storm with a double leg takedown and the double legdrop to the crotch, followed by a gourdbuster for 2. All four men are in…and then Roode bails to the floor, but as the ref sends RVD to the apron, Roode pushes Hardy off the top rope and they’re back in control as we are informed that Tara will face Daffney in a First Blood Match next week. That sounds like fun. Roode with a neckbreaker for 2 and tags in Storm and both men choke Hardy with their boots. Hardy tries to make the tag but Storm cuts him off and we HIT THE CHINLOCK! Hardy fights his way out but Storm yanks Hardy down by the hair and tags out to Roode. Roode mocks RVD by doing the pointing himmick, then chokes Hardy behind the referee’s back and it’s BACK TO THE CHINLOCK! Hardy fights his way out with a chinbreaker, but walks right into a spinebuster from Roode for 2. Storm’s back in and casually boots Hardy in the head and starts jawing at the crowd. Back to the chinlock again, Hardy fights out again, and Hardy ducks a clothesline and both men go for a cross body block and both men are down. Hardy makes the tag, but the referee didn’t see it, so Beer Money drag Hardy back to their side of the ring. Storm goes for the Eye Of The Storm, but Hardy escapes and hits the Whisper In The Wind (I hate the name of that move)…and slowly makes his way over to RVD…and finally makes the hot tag! RVD is in and cleans house on Beer Money, hitting a spinkick on Roode in the corner, then follows that up with a monkey flip and goes up top and comes off with the jump kick to Roode and goes for a cover, but Storm breaks up the count. RVD with a boot to the face of Storm and hits the split-legged moonsault, but Storm’s not the legal man. Roode with a lariat lays RVD out, but Hardy nails Roode, Storm hits Hardy with a kick from the outside, and Beer Money with a double suplex on Hardy. RVD comes in, but gets nailed and Beer Money with a NICE catapult DDT on RVD for 2. Roode goes for the Fisherman’s Suplex, but Hardy reverses to a Twist Of Fate…and Storm drags him to the floor and goes to ram him into the ladder, but Hardy baseball slides under it and rams the ladder into Storm. RVD with Rolling Thunder on Roode, Hardy with the Swanton, and RVD finishes with the Five Star Notebook Splash for the win. Nice finishing sequence there.

Following the match, Eric Young hits the ring.  He announces that next week he’s going to get his revenge on The Band by challenging them to a six man tag team match.  His partners?  Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy!

My thoughts: Much better show this week.  I really enjoyed most of it.  I’m never a big fan of multi wrestler clusterf*(#s, whether it’s women or men wrestling, but at least the stories were gotten across.  Angelina hates The Beautiful People, Tara hates Daffney, Daffney’s crazy, Sarita and Taylor Wilde still work here.  Foley being fired is an intriguing storyline.  Hernandez sold his injury extremely well, if indeed it was a work.  Tell tale signs, if you’re wondering, are that they focused on Slick Johnson throwing up the X sign, Matt Morgan didn’t act like he was concerned about the injury he just caused a fellow wrestler, Homicide came out to check on him, and Hogan saw him off to the hospital.  I’m leaning towards a work, but I could be completely wrong about this.  I’m sure the main event was excellent.  I’m disappointed that I don’t get to stick around on Mondays until the shows are over, but I guess that’s what DVRs are for.  Speaking of, I never would’ve been able to pull this kind of thing off in the days before DVR.  I recorded RAW and was able to pause and rewind TNA if I needed to for whatever reason.  That said, I’ll be back later on tonight with the RAW review!

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