Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ Batista bores me on 6/13/08

I’ll be honest.  I haven’t watched SmackDown in a little while, and as of right this second, I haven’t watched tonight’s episode either.  I’ve got it on my DVR, and am watching the show, so I’m going to do this a little differently than I’ve done with RAW, ECW, and iMPACT.  I’m going to sit here with the show on and pick make observations as we go along, starting with this one:  Why the hell is Vicki Guerrero still in a wheelchair?  Also, I can’t really tell if Vicki has huge heel heat, or if she’s got – with no offense to Shawn Waltman – “X-Pac heat.”  The fans absolutely hate her to the point where she hasn’t gotten through a segment in front of a live crowd in a long time without having to tell them to be quiet.  In any event, she added an amendment to Batista’s World Championship shot contract that says if he loses against The Great Khali tonight, not only will he not get a title shot at Night of Champions, but he’ll go the Undertaker route and be banished from WWE.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he wins tonight and that stipulation carries over to the title match.  Edge “retired” The Undertaker earlier in the month, and it would be huge for him to “retire” Batista later on this month.

I’ll talk about the rest of the show, after the jump!

WWE has started doing these “Did you know” things this month.  They make me miss Matt Hardy’s Mattitude gimmick where he’d come out with the “Matt Facts” overlayed on the screen.

It seems like every couple of weeks, some tag team is thrown together and feud with Miz and Morrison, battling for “a title match sometime down the line.”  This time around, they’ve made a father-son tag team with Hornswoggle and Finlay saying they want the WWE Tag Team Championship.  I’ve really grown to like Miz and Morrison as a team, and I’m really surprised that the WWE doesn’t put them over as the longest reigning champions in the company, as they did with MVP before he lost the US title to Matt Hardy.  Anyway, Morrison took on Finlay and got the win off of a distraction by The Miz.

Edge.  Edge is probably one of my favorite superstars of all time and I’m absolutely glad that he’s been given chances to run with the title.  Speaking of favorite superstars, C.M. Punk interrupts Edge, reminding him that he’s Mr. Money In The Bank, and teasing that he may cash it in for a World Heavyweight title shot at Edge and Vicki’s wedding.

Mark Henry is threatening to injure The Big Show’s other eye.  Henry is here tonight to compete, and his opponent this evening is the Innovator of Violence, Tommy Dreamer.  Big surprise – Henry wins.  I give Henry a lot of credit, he’s been in WWE for so long, and it may have taken him a while, but he’s coming into his own.

MVP wants to re-negotiate his contract.  Says he feels like he’s being underutilized.  I agree.  Vicki offers to re-negotiate if he takes care of C.M. Punk for her later on tonight.   That’s just awesome.

The SmackDown Divas are up next.  They’re saying that these matches are opportunities for the ladies to impress General Manager Vicki Guerrero for the opportunity to go for the SmackDown Divas Championship.  Cherry defeated Maryse in this one.

MVP and C.M. Punk are up next.  I’m expecting a great match here.  The announcers talk about the draft coming up on RAW in a couple weeks, Foley says he wants to work the JR, Cole says “or you could end up on ECW with Adamle.” It was a pretty good match, with MVP focusing on Punk’s arm.  It ended when MVP distracted the referee by tearing the turnbuckle cover off, his intent to hit Punk with the Money in the Bank briefcase.  Punk instead hit the running knee on the briefcase, sending it into MVP’s face.  Punk was then caught with the briefcase in hand, causing MVP to get the win via DQ.  I miss Eddie Guerrero.

Speaking of Guerreros – Chavito is in the ring with Bam Neeley, and apparently he’s interviewing Matt Hardy… or something like that.  Chavo says he’s going to be facing Matt for the US Championship at Night of Champions, which is apparently not official yet.  Apparently, he wasn’t conducting an interview, he was just doing Matt Hardy’s ring announcement for him as he’s set to take on the guy who looks like Lance Hoyt should look, Chuck Palumbo in his Slash hat.  Hardy wins, Chavo announces him as the loser of the US Championship at Night of Champions.

Back from break, the announcers talk about Mr. McMahon’s Million-dollar Mania.  Michael Cole reminds Mick Foley that he’s not eligible, to which Foley asks, “If that’s the case, why does Mike Adamle walk away with so much of Mr. McMahon’s money every week?”

Eve interviews Vladimir Koslov, who answers her question in Russian.  Unlike Daviari’s promo last night on TNA iMPACT, it wasn’t subtitled.

BISCUITS AND GRAVY!  Jesse and Festus are in tag team action.  Their opponents tonight are Deuce and Domino.  Jesse and Festus get the win, and the greasers start brawling with each other, Deuce blaming Domino for the loss.

Main event time.  Batista vs. The Great Khali.  Batista gets a title shot if he wins – he doesn’t have a job if he loses.  Edge and Vicki are out to watch the match, which is dominated by The Great Khali.  Batista hits a spear out of nowhere, and he’s going to Night of Champions to face Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship.

I tend to occasionally call this show “Friday Night’s Cure for Insomnia.”  Tonight’s episode started off pretty well but by the end I’d rather play Nintendo DS than actually pay attention to the show.  Edge is a great talent and one of my favorite people on the roster.  Batista is big and boring to me, not to mention that he’s been in the world title picture for way too long, and this feud with Edge is just getting stale.  I don’t want to see Edge take on Batista again.  I also don’t want to see him face Rey Mysterio again either.  Hopefully the draft will solve SmackDown’s main event problems and give Edge some new blood to face.

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