—————————X—————————–

 

And we’re off!

 

Video from the arrival of the Main Event Mafia. Everyone spills out of the Hummer limo except for Sting. Team 3D arrives. Sting arrives alone. Everyone has stylin’ rides tonight. The Voice of Doom runs down the matches. Mike Tenay and Don West introduce the show, and the first match kicks off right away.

 

Match #1: Alex Shelley vs. Eric Young (X-Division Championship match): Yes! Many complaints have been posted about starting the ppv with this match. Someone in a position to know how to book well (I want to say that it was Lance Storm on his website) advised opening a show with the third strongest match on the card to get the audience excited and into the show. It makes perfect sense, and if that’s why this match opened the show, then good. Alex Shelley enters alone. Quite a lot of very loud “Shelley” chants for someone who is supposed to be the virtual antichrist. Chants for Eric Young eventually kicked in, but were not as loud or as sustained. Very back-and-forth, with Young getting in considerable offense. This has to be Young’s best match in who-knows-how-long, but the fact remains that even at his best, Eric Young is not as good as Alex Shelley. Shelley avoids two Death Valley Drivers. Young misses a moonsault. Young blocks the Sliced Bread #2. Young kicks out of a successful Sliced Bread #2 at the two-count. Young kicks out of a top rope bulldog followed by a frog splash. Jeebus, I thought that Super Eric was gone! Young sets up for a Death Valley Driver from the top rope, but Shelley gets away. While Young argues with the referee about something, Shelley sneaks in and rolls him up, getting the pin. Shelley came off as nowhere near heelish enough to warrant what the announcers say about him. So, according to the announcers, Eric Young kicking Alex Shelley’s hands as Shelley tries to hang on to the bottom rope is a good thing? The most annoying thing is how Tenay and West seem to be trying to not know the names of Alex Shelley’s moves. It’s bad enough in tag team matches, but this was a joke. Shelley hit Young with the Shellshock, a move that he has used for years, and Tenay acted as if he had never seen the move before, actually referring to it as a move similar to the “Lethal Combination.” Punch yourself in the face, Tenay. Now. Alex Shelley wins and retains the X-Division Championship title.

 

To the back! JB asks Kurt Angle about the separate arrivals of the Main Event Mafia. Angle replies the he is a champion. Sting is a champion. They push each other to greater heights. It’s just business.

 

Match #2: Petey Williams vs. Scott Steiner: Petey not only enters looking like Steiner, but posing like him. If we’re supposed to figure out that Petey wants the role that Steiner has played for so long, how about actually letting Petey talk about it? Otherwise, the mini-Steiner bit is even more ridiculous. Steiner goes for the slow, methodical power game, while Petey tries for quick guerilla tactics. Steiner covers Petey several times, but refuses to pin him, pulling him back up instead. Chants of “This is boring!” and “You still suck!” can be heard, but not overwhelmingly so. Despite a few hope spots, Petey never really had a chance, and Steiner hit the Steiner Screwdriver for the pin. Scott Steiner wins.

 

Post-match, Steiner grabs a mic and announces that he’s going to show everyone how he finishes the job. He hit an unmoving Petey with a fallaway slam from the second rope. Not satisfied, he sets up for the Steiner Recliner. Samoa Joe’s music kicks in, and the audience goes crazy. Steiner drops Petey and looks around, but Joe does not come out. He’s on the video, heavily shadowed and sporting the face paint from the previous week. Joe tells Steiner that he holds Steiner and others responsible for the sins that he (Joe) is about to commit, and that Steiner will be the first member of the MEM that he takes out. Steiner looks around, expecting a run-in like the rest of us did, but nothing happens. Good promo from Joe.

 

To the announce table! Tenay and West run down the rest of the card. It seems that Mick Foley will join them for commentary, and present the World Heavyweight Championship belt to the winner of the match.

 

To the back! JB interviews Mick Foley and Sting. Foley doesn’t want Angle to win the belt because he just couldn’t stand having to hand him the title. Sting takes exception to this bad-mouthing of a fellow MEM member. Foley never takes it back, but points out that Angle the man and Angle the wrestler are not the same thing. He praises Sting as a true icon and legend. Sting starts to leave, but turns around and thanks Mick, telling him that those words mean a lot coming from him.

 

Match #3: Brutus Magnus vs. Chris Sabin (open challenge): Magnus comes out and reiterates his open challenge. No one likes the new gear except me. It’s being slammed everywhere as screaming 90s, cartoonish, over-the-top, and so on. I actually liked it. It’s a major improvement over the last outfit he had. Personally, I think that if you’re going to do a crazy gimmick like a gladiator, you could do a lot worse than looking like Russell Crowe. It may be stupid, but go all the way with it! It’s a decent look. The helmet was a nice touch. Good promo from Magnus. He is not what the ignorant American stereotypes of British people would say he is. He is not a tea-drinking aristocrat. He is not a football hooligan with bad teeth (oh, snap!). He is a modern-day gladiator, and his time for glory is now. Someone has answered his open challenge. IT’S CHRIS SABIN!!! Yes!!! The entrance music plays, and the future Mr. Drowgoddess hits the ring and locks up with Magnus. It’s back and forth at first, but Magnus dominates and keeps the pace slow. Massive chants of “Sabin!” and “Motor City!” Sabin lands a dropkick to the face, but for the most part, it’s power against speed. Power wins when Sabin goes to the top rope and gets crotched when Magnus grabs the referee. Magnus hits the Tormentum for the pin. The name is good, the move itself is not. Yes, Magnus had to win this. Yes, letting Sabin have a match was good. However, of all the people to job out to the new guy, why Sabin? He deserves so much better. Brutus Magnus wins.  

 

To the back! Lauren interviews Team 3D. They know that this is a match where every man is out for himself, even them. Between them, it’s purely business. Sting and Angle, however, are viewed as the enemy. Good line of “Dudley blood is thicker than water.” I don’t care if they aren’t supposed to say it.

 

Match #4: ODB vs. Awesome Kong (Knockouts title match): In complete defiance of Jim Cornette’s orders, the Kongtourage accompanies the Knockouts champion to the ring. Cornette comes out with a mic and lays down the verbal bitchslap on the K-sisters. They can go to the back and stay there, like he instructed them, and let this be the one-on-one match that it was booked to be, or they can stay at ringside and watch him hand over the Knockouts title to ODB. Perfect! THIS is the kind of authority figure that TNA needs. One guy who has the power to do what needs doing when it needs doing. The ladies doth protest too much, methinks, but eventually go to the back. Kong protests by grabbing Cornette’s collar, allowing ODB to jump her from behind. Cornette gets away, and ODB can’t stand up to the power of Kong. The Implant Buster ends this one. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth has occurred over ODB not taking the belt off of Kong so that Kong can have down time due to injuries. ODB and Kong have very little chemistry in the ring, and just haven’t done well together. To restore it to any level of significance, Kong needs to keep the title until someone who can take it from her turns up. Kong wins and retains the Knockouts Championship title.

 

To the back! Lauren stands by as Team 3D looks for Sting. Very calmly and quietly, Brother Ray brought up his previous beatdown and Sting’s lack of action. He hopes that the old Sting, and not the “Main Ego Mafia” Sting, is the one in the ring tonight.

 

Match #5: Booker T [w/ Sharmell] vs. Shane Sewell (Legends title match): Sewell is all intensity and hateful glares. Booker refuses to look at him, or acknowledge his presence in any way. Nice character moments here. Booker controlled the start of the match, as well he should have. Sewell has moments of hulking up, tearing off his shirt, and punching Booker from the turnbuckle. Sharmell trips up Sewell when he runs the ropes, and Booker hits the ridiculously long axe kick for the win. Booker T wins and retains the “Legends” Championship title.  

 

Post-match, Booker grabs a mic and informs everyone that he fears no referee. He prepares to enact further violence upon Sewell, when the music of AJ STYLES comes on! The Phenomenal One rushes the ring, makes the save for Sewell, and clears Booker and Sharmell from the ring. In Booker’s rush to get away, he leaves the “Legends” title behind, and AJ throws it over his own shoulder. AJ then takes the mic and says that he was born dirt poor, but he got to where he is today by having a dream. A dream to be the best in the world. Not just that, but to be a legend. A legend doesn’t have the biggest house, the most money, or a fleet of cars. A legend is who the people spend their hard-earned money to see, night after night. He has left pieces of himself in every ring he’s ever been in, all over the world, doing it for these people. When it comes to legends, “there can be only one.” The Phenomenal One, AJ Styles. Very solid promo from AJ.

 

To the back! Lauren argues with Matt Morgan, telling him that she can still talk to Abyss, that they don’t have to do this, that she knows that Abyss still cares about Morgan. Enough, Lauren! The bromance is dead. Morgan gets rude with her, and talks about his recent shoulder surgery due to an infection. He’s still going to fight Abyss, and doesn’t care about anything else.

 

Match #6: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss (Grudge match): Don West, M.D., points out that Matt Morgan is wrestling against doctor’s orders. Rudy Charles is the referee here. Lots of punching and kicking, and a slow, steady pace. Abyss keeps trying to go for weapons, but the referee takes them away or stops him. The ref gets shoved around a bit, too. Abyss throws Morgan out of the ring, and the brawl through the crowd commences. No count-outs, no questions, they just go. When the fight returns to the ring, Abyss attempts to use weapons again, but is denied. Abyss hits the referee by accident and Morgan slams him with a steel chair. Morgan wakes the ref up, but Abyss kicks out at 2. Morgan attempts a second chair shot, but Abyss chokeslams him instead. Abyss has the chair, but Morgan pulls the ref in front of him to take the chair shot.  Abyss hits Morgan with the Black Hole Slam, but Morgan kicks out at 2 when Slick Johnson slides into the ring to replace the unconscious Rudy Charles. Abyss hits a second Black Hole Slam on Morgan and gets the three-count. Abyss wins. Post-match, Abyss spread out the thumbtacks, but Morgan slid out of the ring to avoid being chokeslammed on them.

 

To the back! In the MEM locker room, where Booker T goes insane over his “Legends” title belt being in someone else’s possession. Kevin Nash gets in his face and yells that it isn’t about him. It’s about the group. Sting comes in and everyone gets quiet. Angle talks to Sting about not believing Brother Ray. They shake hands and hug. After Sting leaves, however, Angle tells Nash to keep an eye on Sting.

 

Match #7: Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences (Tag Team Championship match): It’s official. James Storm has the pimpest ride out of everyone on the roster tonight. The MEM Hummer limo? Pah. Team 3D’s sports car? Hah. Sting’s sports car? Puh-leeze! James Storm has a motorized beer cooler scooter that’s big enough for both him and Robert Roode. Best. Entrance. Ever. A decent enough match, with some passable action, but Lethal Consequences get no reaction from the crowd. This is not my personal bias speaking. No one cares about this team. Eventually, Beer Money grows weary of their double team work on the good guys, and Jacqueline hands James Storm a chain. Storm punches Lethal in the face with the chain when the ref wasn’t looking, and Robert Roode makes the pin on Lethal. Beer Money wins and retains the Tag Team Championship titles.

 

Main event time. Each guy gets his own entrance, which eats up considerable time. JB announces each one in turn, and the match begins.

 

Match #8: Brother Ray vs. Brother D-Von vs. Kurt Angle vs. Sting (4-way World Heavyweight Championship match): Sloppy. Oh, jeebus, was this sloppy. Calling the moves is pointless because this was a very poorly done match period, let alone a World title main event match on a pay-per-view. In the end, Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop on Brother Ray for the three-count. Sting wins and retains the World Heavyweight Championship title. After the match, Angle flips out. He doesn’t attack Sting or anyone else, but he is plainly furious.

 

Closing Thoughts: Some good moments, but not a strong show overall. Referee bumps or problems in multiple matches are not good. Joe and AJ are back and ready to attack, so to speak (hey, it rhymes, so it has to be true). Alex Shelley is still X-Division champion. Beer Money are still tag team champions. Awesome Kong is still Knockouts champion. Chris Sabin had a match at all. Abyss is going monster again, though his look should change with it. These are all good things. The complaints about no titles changing hands are unfounded. Just because you have a ppv doesn’t mean that the titles should change hands. It has more significance and power when it’s a rare thing. Seriously, there’s no pleasing some people. They criticize “hot potato” title changes, and continue to criticize when no title changes happen. Sheesh! Overall, the show did make more more interested in seeing the “Impact” follow-up. See you later this week for “Impact” Impressions!

 

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

6 Comments

  1. I was going to post a comment about the benefits of long title reigns, but then it started to get long and I thought it would make a great article. Then I thought about it some more, and figured I shouldn't post an article like that when I have a series of WWE PPV articles going on. Finally, I ultimately decided to write the article, and I dated it for the Sunday after WrestleMania, so you're going to have to wait two months before you get to read it!

    Anyway, I absolutely didn't care about Against All Odds. I watched what I watched of it with the Triumvirate, left for work, and didn't think about enough to do more than read the rest of the posts on the WWI boards from after I left.

    Frankly, I can't stand the Brutus Magnus character. I'm sure the guy is talented enough, but I really just don't care for the character. It's been years since Gladiator came out, and the wacky world of professional wrestling already did something with it – they opened WrestleMania 23 with Stone Cold Steve Austin playing the Russell Crowe part.

    As far as the Main Event Mafia goes, there's a lot to be said for slow builds in angles, but dammit, TNA, sometimes you have to just pull the damned trigger. Just don't go shooting randomly like WWE seemed to do by booking the JBL/HBK match for No Way Out. I hate that damned PPV.

    OK, I'm done ranting now. Thanks Drow!


    • True, that. I wasn't crazy about the character concept to begin with, but I firmly believe that if you're going to do something pointless and silly, go all the way with it. My praise was more for the costume upgrade than anything else.

      Having read the previews for this week's "Impact," anyone who bought the show will be royally pissed. Guess what the main event is? Again? Here's a hint. It was the main event at the ppv.

      I look forward to reading the article about title reigns. While I generally think that long reigns are positive, I'm not crazy about every title being held for five years by the same person, like in the old school days of yore.


    • True, that. I wasn't crazy about the character concept to begin with, but I firmly believe that if you're going to do something pointless and silly, go all the way with it. My praise was more for the costume upgrade than anything else.

      Having read the previews for this week's "Impact," anyone who bought the show will be royally pissed. Guess what the main event is? Again? Here's a hint. It was the main event at the ppv.

      I look forward to reading the article about title reigns. While I generally think that long reigns are positive, I'm not crazy about every title being held for five years by the same person, like in the old school days of yore.


  2. I was going to post a comment about the benefits of long title reigns, but then it started to get long and I thought it would make a great article. Then I thought about it some more, and figured I shouldn't post an article like that when I have a series of WWE PPV articles going on. Finally, I ultimately decided to write the article, and I dated it for the Sunday after WrestleMania, so you're going to have to wait two months before you get to read it!

    Anyway, I absolutely didn't care about Against All Odds. I watched what I watched of it with the Triumvirate, left for work, and didn't think about enough to do more than read the rest of the posts on the WWI boards from after I left.

    Frankly, I can't stand the Brutus Magnus character. I'm sure the guy is talented enough, but I really just don't care for the character. It's been years since Gladiator came out, and the wacky world of professional wrestling already did something with it – they opened WrestleMania 23 with Stone Cold Steve Austin playing the Russell Crowe part.

    As far as the Main Event Mafia goes, there's a lot to be said for slow builds in angles, but dammit, TNA, sometimes you have to just pull the damned trigger. Just don't go shooting randomly like WWE seemed to do by booking the JBL/HBK match for No Way Out. I hate that damned PPV.

    OK, I'm done ranting now. Thanks Drow!


  3. It was really just WWF titles. The NWA Championship changed hands about as much as the current WWE World Titles do – something I learned about the NWA Championship in my research for the title article is that it has a completely fucked up lineage. You know how many times Ric Flair was champion that didn't count? Two of his first three aren't recognized. Anyways, that's another article for a couple of months from now. I've got to get back to finishing up my RAW review from last night.


  4. It was really just WWF titles. The NWA Championship changed hands about as much as the current WWE World Titles do – something I learned about the NWA Championship in my research for the title article is that it has a completely fucked up lineage. You know how many times Ric Flair was champion that didn't count? Two of his first three aren't recognized. Anyways, that's another article for a couple of months from now. I've got to get back to finishing up my RAW review from last night.


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