“Bound for Glory” 2009By Drowgoddess · · 2 Comments
“Bound for Glory” is TNA’s “Wrestlemania.” We’ve heard about the matches. We’ve made our predictions. Come with your Empress of “iMPACT” and cross the line!
Jeremy Borash is with Joey Fatone (should I know who he is?), and they both have mics. JB runs down the card, hyping all the matches as only JB can. We get a recap of the Foley/Abyss feud as the clock ticks down to the main show.
Pre-show match: Lethal Consequences vs. the Motor City Machine Guns
JB and Joey Fatone announce that they want some tag team action right now! I want some tag team action right now…oh! Sorry. The MCMG enter first, to their rockin’ new video. Lethal Consequences enters next. Between Tenay and JB, they tell us that “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero was here in California, but was called away on a family emergency, and will not be on the show tonight. The winners of this pre-show match will take his place in the Ultimate X match tonight for the X-Division title! WOW!!! Shelley and Creed start. Then Sabin and Lethal tag in. HUUUUUGE chants for the Guns. Beautiful MCMG double team on Lethal. Shelley and Lethal go. LC double team Shelley. The action here is too fast to call, but it’s grand stuff! Creed and Shelley go, then Lethal tags in and has a go at Shelley. Sabin breaks it up. More LC double teaming, but Shelley fights out and tags in Sabin. The future Mr. Drowgoddess cleans house and covers Creed, but Lethal breaks it up. More amazing double team action, and ALEX SHELLEY GETS THE PIN!!!!! YES!!!
Winners and new participants in the Ultimate X match for the X-Division title: the Motor City Machine Guns
More replays of the extremely well-done video packages that we saw at the end of the three-hour “iMPACT.” Between what just happened with the free pre-show match and these video packages, they’re really doing a great job of selling the show to any fence-sitters.
To the back! Lauren interviews Team 3D. Brother Ray yells a lot and can’t wait to see his boy, Zakk Wylde, play the national anthem. Lauren gets squashed between them. Brother Ray goes on about “Tables, ladders, and chairs!” Devon says, “Oh, my!” Funny.
The opening match is the Ultimate X match for the X-Division title. Whee!
Zakk Wylde plays the National Anthem. Electric guitar style. A video package of patriotic American images airs while he does so. The number of people who do not remove their hats annoys me, but I grew up in the household of a father who spent twenty years in the US Army, so I’m a stickler for that sort of thing. Pyro explodes, and we’re off!
X-Division Championship match (Ultimate X match)
Amazing Red (ch) vs. Daniels, vs. Suicide vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
Don’t expect a move-by-move call from me on this one. I’m sitting back to enjoy the awesomeness. The MCMG enter first, with Alex Shelley favoring his back. HUUUUGE reaction for the Guns. Suicide enters next. Homicide enters next, to his original LAX music and a new video. Daniels enters next, in shorts and no coat/cape gear. Last of all (as it should be!), accompanied by his promoter, Don West, is Amazing Red. And we’re off! Wow! And more wow! Red hurricanranas Daniels from the top rope to the floor. Sabin lands a beautiful suicide dive through Shelley’s legs. Sabin hits Red with a Claudio Castagnoli-esque airplane spin, and Shelley kicks Red in the head. Everyone is down. Homicide climbs the ropes and almost gets the title, but Suicide leaps up and yanks Homicide down by the head. The Guns team up to go after everyone. They take out Homicide, Daniels, and Red in order. Red fights out of a double team move, and the Guns collide. Suicide lands a springboard dropkick on Shelley, who is caught in the Tree of Woe. Now everyone is back in. Homicide climbs up and gets to the ropes. Daniels pulls him down by the leg, and plants him with a Death Valley Driver in one fluid movement. Red climbs back up to the ropes. Suicide climbs after Red, and both men hit the mat. Daniels and Sabin climb to the ropes at the same time. They trade kicks, and both men hit the mat on their feet. Sabin drops Daniels with a sharp Tornado DDT. Shelley takes out Suicide. Homicide takes out Shelley. Red drops Daniels with a DDT. Red climbs to the ropes, with Suicide in pursuit. Red, Suicide, and Sabin crash to the mat in a top rope suplex that inadvertantly takes out Daniels. Homicide suplexes Shelley. Red lands a twisting press on Homicide. Suicide takes Sabin to the mat from the top rope in a move that looked like it had a very bad landing. Sabin doesn’t move. Suicide, red, and Daniels climb to the top of the trusses. Loud chants of “Please don’t die!” Suicide and Daniels tease suplexing each other. Daniels lowers himself down to the ropes where the title hangs. Suicide follows and stops him. Sabin and Shelley each climb a truss. Suicide and Daniels crash to the mat. Sabin and Shelley climb across the ropes. Red drops down onto Sabin, causing him to fall to the mat. Shelley kicks at Red, but Red unfastens the title belt and retains it.
Winner and STILL X-Division Champion: Amazing Red
To the back! Lauren interviews The Beautiful People. They insult her, calling her JB. Madison Rayne is now bleached blonde with wavy hair. Rayne is a better talker than she ever has been. Velvet is, of course, the best of the lot. Lacey Von Erich needs to go.
To the back! The real JB interviews Taylor Wilde and Sarita. Sarita says something in Spanish, and walks away. JB asks Wilde what Sarita said. Wilde says, “I don’t know, but she meant it!” Funny.
Knockouts Tag Team Championship match
Taylor Wilde & Sarita (ch) vs. The Beautiful People
Taylor Wilde and Sarita have matching gear now, just different styles of it. Nice touch. Fairly early on, Lacey Von Erich is sent to the back by referee Earl Hebner. Much more solid action than one might expect, with Sarita landing a stiff missile dropkick right to the face of Velvet Sky. Taylor Wilde and Sarita hit their double team finisher on Madison Rayne for the win. Good match.
Winners and STILL Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Taylor Wilde and Sarita
A recap of the World Elite/Main Event Mafia feud, and the shenanigans around the Legends title match.
To the back! Lauren interviews Eric Young and Kevin Nash about their presumed alliance in the match. Eric Young is solid on the mic in defending his actions.
Legends Championship match
Kevin Nash (ch) vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez
Hernandez enters first, in his old gear of the white wifebeater shirt, khaki shorts, and bandana. Eric Young enters second. Kevin Nash (as it should be) enters last. What’s up with the pink wristbands that several wrestlers are wearing? Nash gets pretty big cheers. Young and Nash stay outside the ring, making Hernandez wait. Hernandez uses his shirt to pull Young into the ring. Nash makes the save for Young out on the floor. So far, the story of 2-on1 is intact. Ah, the pink wristbands are for a breast cancer awareness foundation. Thanks! Young and Nash act like the big dog and little dog from the old Warner Brothers cartoons. It’s one after the other against Hernandez, including Young choking Hernandez on the ropes. Double teams ensue. Hernandez fights off both men for a moment, but gets double teamed again. Young goes for the cover, and Nash breaks it up. Young begs off, that he didn’t mean to, that is was a natural reaction. Nash seems to accept Young’s apology, and Hernandez takes the opportunity to fight back again. Slow and steady pacing, with a focus on the power game. Lots of clotheslines and punches. Young’s head is bleeding, and there’s blood on the canvas. Hernandez dodges a punch from Nash, and leaps over the top rope to take out Young. More double team tactics from Young and Nash. Young pulls down Nash’s straps for him, and directs him to finish off Hernandez. Eric Young uses Hernandez’s head as a battering ram to Nash’s groin, steals the pin, and gets the win!
Winner and NEW Legends Champion: Eric Young
To the back! Lauren was supposed to be interviewing Beer Money, but the British Invasion and Booker T/Scott Steiner are being held apart by security. The British Invasion quiets everyone, and points out that when they fight amongst themselves, they’re forgetting about th emost important thing: taking out Team 3D. The “Full Metal Mayhem” match is all about Team 3D, and they need to be taken out quickly and decisively. Everyone stays quiet, agrees, and heads to the ring.
“Full Metal Mayhem” Tag Team match (TNA Tag Team title, IWGP Tag Team titles)
Scott Steiner & Booker T (TNA Tag Team ch) vs. The British Invasion (IWGP Tag Team ch) vs. Team 3D vs. Beer Money
Steiner and Booker enter first. Interesting. The British Invasion enters next, then Beer Money, and Team 3D last. Eight guys is far too many to try and call moves. Steiner hits a top rope Frankensteiner. Beer Money kicks people. Steiner just suplexes people everywhere. Booker is supposedly injured at ringside, and Sharmell comes out to check on him. Steiner doesn’t seem to care. The Brits double team Steiner. They hit Team 3D’s ‘Wazzup?” on Steiner. The Brits get tables as Booker makes a noise like a dying cow at ringside. Team 3D hits the ring and takes out the Brits. Team 3D take out both the British Invasion and Beer Money in the ring. Booker is put on a stretcher and wheeled away. Good riddance! Brother Ray drags Magnus right in front of Zakk Wylde, and Wylde hits Magnus with a chair! Ray hugs the guitar player. Team 3D hits the “Wazzup?” on Doug Williams. Ray directs the audience in calling for the tables. Yeah, that part is still cool. Steiner, flying solo, takes out Team 3D with a ladder, and goes for the belts himself. Team 3D puts Steiner through a table. Ray and Devon climb the ladder, one on each side. Devon takes down the IWGP Tag Team title belt just as Rhino rushes the ring and hits Ray and Devon with repeated stiff chair shots. The Brits double team Devon, and go for the ladder. LOUD chants of “USA! USA!” Beer Money is back in the game now. It’s Beer Money on one side of two ladders, and Magnus on the other. Beer Money suplexes Magnus to the floor. Big response to the “Beer! Money!” pose. Storm and Magnus at the top of the ladder. Storm takes Magnus to the floor from the ladder, but Williams meets Storm with a chair shot. Williams and Roode on the ladder. Roode knocks Williams off the ladder, but Big Rob Terry runs in and press slams Roode through a table on the outside. Terry helps Williams to the top of the ladder to grab the TNA Tag Team title belt. Now we can look forward to a proper tag team feud for the TNA belts between The British Invasion and Beer Money! Just add the Guns, and life is awesome in Tag Team Land.
Winners and NEW IWGP Tag Team Champions: Team 3D
Winners and NEW TNA Tag Team Champions: The British Invasion
Knockouts Championship match
Tara vs. Awesome Kong vs. ODB (ch)
Kong enters first, alone. The match is announced as having a twenty-minute time limit. Kong and Tara go, and Kong splashes both Tara and ODB in the corner. Kong goes for a middle rope splash, but Tara and ODB roll out of the way. Tara and ODB team up to shoulderblock Kong to the mat. The teamwork breaks down when they pull each other off of pins. Tara locks ODB in a version of the tarantula hold on the ropes, but gets knocked to the floor by Kong. Kong and ODB go, but Tara hits a beautiful top rope moonsault on both of them. Kong shoves tara to the floor. Kong and ODB in the ring. Tara has an altercation with a blonde fan at ringside, and both the camera work and the announcers treat it as though it were real. Even Kong and ODB stop and stare. Tara goes to the back, but not up the ramp. Kong and ODB continue to fight, and Tara returns quietly. ODB gets squashed by Kong, but Tara breaks it up at the last second. Kong throws Tara out of the ring. Kong and ODB go. Raisha Saeed comes to ringside with a chair, and slides it in to Kong. Kong refuses to use it, and kicks it back. ODB takes Kong down headfirst on the chair, and gets the three-count. Post-match, Saeed trembles and looks terrified, while Kong looks furious.
Winner and STILL Knockouts Champion: ODB
Sorry, all. The server crashed, it would seem, and I lost part of the review after this. I’m trying to catch up again, but it’s going to be short.
“MMA vs. TNA” Submissions match
Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley
Very pro-Joe crowd. Chants of “Lashley sucks!” and “Joe’s gonna kill you!” Joe is very dominant for the bulk of the match, targeting Lashley’s injured and taped ribs. Lots of boos when Lashley locks in a hold. A good match until the very end. Lashley locks in some kind of submission hold that no one can really see, and suddenly the bell rings. Joe never tapped. The referee apparently presumed that he passed out. The audience does not take well to the ending. A very poor ending to an otherwise solid match.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
“Monster’s Ball” Hardcore match
Abyss vs. Mick Foley
I’m really not a huge fan of the hardcore matches under most circumstances. Dr. Stevie was the special guest referee. Abyss fell from the truss through the entrance ramp. Foley jumped on him with the barbed wire bat. Lots of barbed wire on boards around the ring. Both guys get busted open. Dr. Stevie tries his best to give Foley the win, but Abyss keeps kicking out. Smokin’ zombie hot Daffney runs out and gives Foley a taser gun. Foley tasers Abyss, with much fire and smoke. Abyss throws Daffney into the barbed wire on the floor, then throws a shirtless Dr. Stevie into the thumbtacks. Abyss makes the three-count for himself, using Dr. Stevie’s hand.
“Wrestling’s Best vs. Wrestling’s Future”
Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle
Did they just say that this match has a fifteen-minute time limit? I can’t possibly have heard that correctly. Ok, I’m caught up now. Angle kicks Morgan in the gut to escape a choke slam. Morgan dominates Angle at the start. Angle traps Morgan in the Figure Four leg lock. Taz talks up the hold and explains how applying it to a taller man gives you more leverage. Angle is in control. Morgan turns it over, but Angle reaches the ropes. Angle lands punches as Morgan tries to stand. From his knees, Morgan clotheslines Angle. Cool! Morgan hits several clotheslines. Angle kicks the knees and delivers a European uppercut. Loud cheers for Angle. Angle counters a choke slam and rolls through, getting a two-count. Morgan gestures for the Hellavator. Angle hits a series of German suplexes. Morgan steps out of the Angle Slam, lands the Carbon Footprint, and Angle kicks out at two. Angle hits the Angle Slam, but Morgan kicks out at two. The straps come down! Angle applies the Angle Lock. Morgan kicks Angle off. Morgan gets Angle up for the Hellavator, but Angle counters into the Angle Lock. It takes several tries, but Morgan kicks Angle off. Morgan hits the Hellavator, but Angle kicks out at two and a half. Morgan really shows main-eventer confidence when he does the Hellavator. The little things, like looking at his imaginary wristwatch and pushing the elevator button. Angle locks in the Angle Lock again. Morgan rolls around and eventually escapes. Morgan goes to the top rope, but Angle runs up and throws him down, hitting another Angle Slam afterwards. Angle hits a top rope frog splash, but Morgan kicks out. Angle sneaks in a roll-up and gets the win. I’m seriously disappointed. Morgan needed this win, and the loss would not have hurt Angle at all. You either have your Youth Movement front and center, or you don’t. Angle giving Morgan his endorsement and respect isn’t the same as Morgan cleanly defeating Angle.
Winner: Kurt Angle
World Heavyweight Championship match
AJ Styles (ch) vs. Sting
Sting enters first, in a much less garish jacket than he ususally wears. AJ enters second (as it should be), and JB makes the official ring announcements. Oh, don’t you EVEN be booing AJ Styles, California! Then again, look who you elected as your governor. Very even back-and-forth action to start, with both men acknowledging the impressiveness of the other’s moves. A rather pro-Sting audience. Sting clotheslines AJ to the floor, and Earl Hebner starts the count. Sting holds open the ropes and beckons AJ in the ring. AJ complies. Taz says that that if he were Sting, he’d clock AJ as soon as he started getting in the ring. More even action, with AJ targeting Sting’s knees. Sting face-plants AJ, and takes control. Sting stalks AJ. AJ hits a great dropkick on Sting. Sting goes to the floor. AJ stalks Sting, but when AJ leaps from the ring apron, Sting dodges, and AJ eats railing. Sting goes for a Stinger Splash on the rail, but AJ sidesteps, and Sting eats railing. AJ rolls back into the ring, and gestures for Sting to come back in. The people holding up the “Wrestlezone” sign really need to sit down. Back in the ring, AJ goes for a piledriver. Sting counters with a piledriver of his own, but AJ kicks out. Why is this move ok when Sting and AJ do it, but Eric Young doing it is evil? AJ recovers and hits a springboard forearm for a two-count. Fantastic series of reversals and counters on both sides, too quick to call. Sting traps AJ in the Scorpion Death Lock. AJ screams, but forces his way out with leg strength. Chants of “This is wrestling!” AJ goes to the top rope, but slips on what may be a weakened ankle. AJ hits a Pele kick on Sting from the apron and gets the three-count. Post-match, AJ gets a bad mic. We can’t hear him. He gets it working properly quickly, and calls Sting back. This ring is Sting’s spotlight. The audience chants “Sting! Sting! Sting!” Sting comes back. Chants of “Please don’t go!” AJ takes the title and walks away up the ramp, applauding Sting as he does so. Crowd chants of “Sting!” get louder. Sting says that this moment should belong to AJ Styles. If he had to lose, he’s glad to lose to someone like AJ Styles, and to lose at home. Chants of “You’ve still got it!” Sting starts to speak on the subject of his retirement. Chants of “One more year!” Sting says that he’s not trying to pull a kayfabe answer, he truly doesn’t know if he’ll be back or not. The things that some of the people said to him at the FanFest yesterday and the reaction he’s gotten tonight make him want to stay forever. Huge cheers. The end.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a very strong show. I paid for it, and feel that I got my money’s worth. I personally was not crazy about the ending to the Joe/Lashley match, as it was rather abrupt, and really looked like nothing happened. Poor ending to a good match. Morgan’s loss to Angle was not what I wanted to see, mostly because an Angle loss would not have hurt Angle at all. Morgan really needed the win, and this was the place to do it. Whatever family emergency “The Pope” had, I sincerely hope that everyone is ok. Likewise, I hope Daniels is ok, as he seemed to land very badly when he and Suicide crashed to the mat from the top of the Ultimate X structure. My personal bias aside, adding the Guns to the Ultimate X match was the best thing that could have happened. That match was awesome, and worth the show price all by itself. The tag team title situation is now much more tenable, as Team 3D probably was never meant to lose the IWGP Tag Team titles in America anyway, and now they can go back to Japan with them and make New Japan happier. The British Invasion cheating to win the TNA Tag Team titles means that a proper feud with Beer Money can start now. The ending to Sting/AJ seemed a bit abrupt, but the right man won, so it’s all good.
That’s it for me! Check back with us here at www.boredwrestlingfan.com for reviews of RAW, “Smackdown,” ECW, and “Superstars” later on this week.
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Joey Fatone was a member of N Sync, I think.