Welcome to WrestleMania week here on BoredWrestlingFan.com! We’re working overtime this week to bring you WrestleMania related articles throughout the week, and this one is just the first. I want to take the opportunity to talk about the way that I would have booked WrestleMania, starting from the Royal Rumble. Some things would have still played out the way that they have, but other things would have been much different.
How different? Find out after the jump!
In life, there are winners and there are losers…
You can’t mess with perfection. There are a few things that have happened on WWE television leading up to WrestleMania that I completely agree with and would not change. One such instance is the match pitting the WWE Tag Team Champions, Primo and Carlito, against the World Heavyweight Champions, The Miz and John Morrison. The only things I would change are the involvement of the Bella Twins (it’s unnecessary) and the Lumberjack stipulation. Other than that, you’ve got two very talented tag teams, both with tag team gold around their waists, battling it out to see who truly is the greatest tag team in wrestling today. I’m very much for the unification of the tag team championships, so we’ll leave this one alone.
Sometimes, it’s hell getting to heaven…
Once again, another storyline I would have booked very similarly to how WWE has done it. Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker have a very storied history, and given the fact that both men are synonymous with WrestleMania, a match between the two makes perfect sense. While I did think the JBL/HBK storyline ended pretty abruptly, there wasn’t anywhere else for it to really go as far as using it to set up Undertaker/HBK at ‘Mania. At least not anything that would let HBK have the freedom to do the kind of things that he’s been doing to get under the dead man’s skin. Again, we’ll leave this one alone.
Matt Hardy will go on a completely different career path starting with the Royal Rumble. He will still lose his championship to Jack Swagger and fail to recapture it at the Rumble. Instead of taking it out on brother Jeff, Christian would instead return to cost Jeff the WWE Championship in his Rumble match with Edge. Matt then qualifies for Money in the Bank. As far as Swagger, we’ll come back to him later on.
The Rated R Champion
After winning back his WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble with help from his brother Christian, Edge successfully retains his title in the SmackDown Elimination Chamber at No Way Out. Christian, a participant in the match, chooses to sacrifice his own title aspirations to help his brother retain the WWE Championship. We’ll come back to those two later on.
The Champ is STILL here!
Edge isn’t the only champion to crush his challengers’ championship dreams. John Cena survives RAW’s Elimination Chamber at No Way Out to walk out the same way he walked in – the World Heavyweight Champion. Little does Cena know, he’s about to become a part of the biggest main event in WrestleMania history…
The true dominant Diva
After a confrontation on RAW, WWE Divas Champion Maryse and WWE Womens Champion Melina start a heated rivalry, with Divas from not only those two brands, but also Divas from ECW and past WWE Divas getting involved. This inevitably leads to a 25 Diva battle royal – not for the title of “Miss WrestleMania,” but for the title of Unified WWE Divas Champion!
History in the making
John “Bradshaw” Layfield is determined to make history in his home state of Texas at the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania. To guarantee himself a spot on the card, he defeats CM Punk for the Intercontinental Championship. Two weeks later on SmackDown, MVP defeats Shelton Benjamin for the United States Championship, only to turn around into a Clothesline from Hell. The gauntlet has been thrown down, and MVP, who is on a roll, decides to accept the challenge in a unification match for the Intercontinental and United States Championships.
Laughing all the way to the bank
Matt Hardy, as mentioned earlier, becomes the first to qualify for Money in the Bank. His brother Jeff also qualifies, as does Christian. CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Hurricane Helms, Evan Bourne, and Rey Mysterio qualify soon after, and our match is set.
You’re not a Wrestler, but you play one in a movie
Mickey Rourke starts making the media rounds again after failing to win an Oscar for his role as Randy “The Ram” in his film The Wrestler. He blames Chris Jericho for the loss and claims that he will show up at WrestleMania and make Jericho pay. Jericho, unafraid, tells Rourke that if he bothers to show up at WrestleMania, Jericho will show him what it’s like to actually be a wrestler. What Jericho doesn’t know is that Rourke is in training with Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, and Jimmy Snuka, all of whom will be in his corner come WrestleMania as he takes on Chris Jericho.
If Scott Norwood were Randy Orton, the Bills would’ve won the Super Bowl in 1991
Randy Orton’s story will remain relatively unchanged. He takes out the McMahons one by one until Triple H reveals himself to be Stephanie’s husband. He asks to get Orton in the ring at WrestleMania, but the threat of a lawsuit from Orton if he’s denied his title shot prevents his request from being granted.
The best wrestler on the face of the planet
One night removed from retaining his World Heavyweight Championship in a grueling Elimination Chamber, John Cena hits the ring on Monday Night RAW with his belt in tow. He cuts a promo, pointing towards the belt draped over his shoulder and telling us that “This belt symbolizes that I am the best wrestler alive today.” This doesn’t sit well with Jack Swagger. The next night on ECW, the ECW Champion addresses Cena, saying that Cena may have the World Heavyweight Championship, but that he’s a two time All American American and the ECW Champion, which means that he’s the best wrestler alive today. By Friday, WWE Champion Edge decides he’s heard enough. There’s no question about who the best wrestler in the world is – it’s Edge. He suggests that if Swagger and Cena think they can prove that they’re better, they should face him in a triple threat winner take all match, and that he’ll be on RAW Monday to get their answer. True to his word, the WWE Champion brings his belt with him to RAW. John Cena and Jack Swagger meet him in the ring. Both are intrigued by the opportunity to unify their titles with the others and prove that they truly are the best wrestler alive, and they agree to the match. Randy Orton interrupts the proceedings with his attorney, and reminds everybody that as the Royal Rumble winner, he is entitled to a shot at the champion of his choosing. He makes his decision – since all three Champions want at each other, why not make it a fatal four way match? Interim RAW General Manager Vickie Guerrero appears on the ramp and says that it sounds like a great idea to her, so a fatal four way it will be. Linda McMahon appears on the TitanTron, and says she has an announcement. The WWE Board of Directors has been following the situation closely and has determined that there is not going to be a fatal four way match to unify the championships of the three brands. Instead, there is going to be a five man elimination match to unify the titles. The participants will be WWE Champion Edge, ECW Champion Jack Swagger, World Heavyweight Champion John Cena, Royal Rumble winner Randy Orton, and the fifth man will be… TRIPLE H!
ThinkSoJoE’s final WrestleMania card
Unified United States/Intercontinental Championship: WWE Intercontinental Champion JBL vs. WWE United States Champion MVP
Unified WWE World Tag Team Championship: World Tag Team Champions Miz & Morrison vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Primo & Carlito
Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Christian vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Hurricane Helms vs. Evan Bourne vs. CM Punk
Chris Jericho vs. Mickey Rourke w/ Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper, and Jimmy Snuka
Unified WWE Divas Championship: 25 Diva Battle Royal
Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
5 way elimination match for the Unified WWE World Championship: WWE Champion Edge vs. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. ECW Champion Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H
What do you think?
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