Home ▸ Drowgoddess ▸ “Impact” Impressions, 7/8/10 (short version)

Ahoy, mateys!

This week, your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess must provide you with an abbreviated version of this week’s show. Real-timing wasn’t really possible last night, as I had company and stir-fry. Yummy! In any case, here’s how the go-home show for Sunday’s “Victory Road” ppv went down:

Video package recapping the possible tension between Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy. Did he or didn’t he? Hit Hardy with the chair on purpose, that is. Anderson says that he’d be bragging about it to the world if he had done it on purpose, because he an – well, you know. Cue the Denis Leary song! Hardy and Anderson make nice, and all is well.

AJ Styles vs. Kazarian: This match was very good, and everything that you’d expect from these two. Unfortunately, it was all about Flair, as Mumm-Ra the Everliving makes himself the focus of the battle between AJ and Kazarian. Both men are counted out on the floor. Boo! Boo-urns! What a lousy ending to a solid match! Post-match, Mumm-Ra tells AJ and Kazarian to, and I quote, “stop dicking around.” He has them tagging together in a match on Sunday’s ppv. You know, the sort of match that might have gotten some people to actually buy and watch the ppv? That kind of match. Who will AJ and Kazarian be facing? Oh, we don’t get to know that yet. If they win, they get to be in the Fortune faction. If they lose, they will be very sorry. Uh-huh.

Winner: None due to double count-out

To the back! Angelina Love is naked! But you only see her from the back. What, it’s not like she’s Miley Cyrus. What, too soon?

Angelina Love vs. Daffney: YES!!! Unfortunately, Daffney’s entrance is almost entirely cut off.  She’s already in the ring screaming when we return from commercial. Another two-minute match for which TNA has gotten so famous, all because HHHogan says that the Knockouts can’t work. Angelina scores the win and calls out the Knockouts champ, Madison Rayne. Rayne goads Love into putting something on the line, like she’s putting her title on the line. Rayne wants Love’s career on the line, just like Tara’s. Love accepts, but announces that she had expected this from Rayne. Love went to the championship committee, and got a special stipulation added to their match at the ppv. If Lacey Von Erich or Velvet Sky get involved in any way, Rayne will be disqualified, and the Knockouts title handed over to Love. Rayne doesn’t seem bothered by this at all.

Winner: Angelina Love

To the video package! The history between Jesse Neal and Team 3D, including his asking their blessings to face them in the ring.

To the ring! Brother Devon calls out Brother Ray. Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore are with him. Devon cuts the finest promo of his career, detailing how Neal had shown nothing but respect for Team 3D and the wrestling business from the beginning, as well as Neal’s history in the Navy and the death of his best friend in the terrorist bombing of the USS Cole. What the hell is Brother Ray’s problem with Neal? Ray doesn’t answer directly, announcing instead that HE is the leader of Team 3D, and that he doesn’t answer to Devon. Devon answers to him. Ray calls Neal is disrespectful punk, but fails to articulate anything as to how that is true. Ray announces that the ppv match on Sunday will be a three-way dance involving himself, Jesse Neal, and Brother Devon.

Rob Van Dam vs. Samoa Joe: This particular match was non-title. Now THIS is the sort of match that headlines a ppv. Not a four-way clustermess, and not a geriatric abomination. Outstanding stuff from both guys, and it goes almost ten minutes. Joe locks RVD in the Kokina Clutch, but RVD squirms his legs free and pushed off the turnbuckle to flip over backwards and pin Joe. Nice! Post-match, Joe slapped the referee, and destroyed him with a Muscle Buster. Both men looked very strong here, and Joe is still a monster in defeat. As he should be.

Winner: Rob Van Dam

Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams: This was a non-title ladder match, thrown out on free tv the final show before a big ppv, with no build and almost no announcement. Sweet Jeebus, my head hurts! Buck, of Generation Me, is in his element, and the announcement is made that Williams is afraid of heights. Really? After all that British Invasion tag team stuff, and you say it now? Sheesh. Buck leaps from the top rope onto the ladder, taking Williams down from the ladder with a sunset flip. Buck pulls the X down for the upset victory. Though I love these types of matches when properly utilized, I HATE how TNA tosses them out like this. At least one of the Young Bucks gets tv time.

Winner: Jeremy Buck

Beer Money & Matt Morgan vs. the Motor City Machine Guns & Hernandez: YES!!! The MCMG have a match! It’s a pretty good one too, given how short it was. Hernandez chases Morgan up the ramp and to the back, leaving the two tag teams in the ring. Alex Shelley hit a beautiful high crossbody on Robert Roode, but Shelley’s own momentum carries him over, and Roode gets a pin while holding the tights. Please dear gods tell me that this means that we’ll have the first MCMG tag team title reign in TNA on Sunday!

Winners: Beer Money & Matt Morgan

To the back! “The Pope” doesn’t trust Mr. Anderson, and neither should Jeff HArdy.

To the office! Kevin Nash is in a bad mood. HHHogan comes in and they argue about cronyism. Why is this getting tv time, when Hamada could be having a match? Xander loves you, Hamada!

To the ring! Jay Lethal speaks with great sincerity on his family and his loss of a childhood idol in Ric Flair. Excellent promo from Lethal. Mumm-Ra the Everliving interrupts it, and here’s where I lose my “Pro Wrestling Fan” card. Flair shouts and babbles in near-incoherence, and most people on the internet gush about what a great promo he is. No. No, he isn’t. I’ll go into more detail on why that is in an upcoming article, but the guy isn’t that great anymore. Lethal stands around and is bitchified while Flair hogs the spotlight.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson: Hardy has just seemed so “ordinary” since joining TNA. Anderson tries a Swanton Bomb, but misses. Hardy counters with a Twist of Fate for the win. Post-match, the two BFFs help each other up. Nothing like a good bromance. Abyss runs down with his spike-studded 2×4, which is now apparently called his “girl.” Ewww. Hardy and Anderson fight back, but get dropped. Abyss charges Anderson with the stick, but gets it caught in a turnbuckle. Anderson tells Hardy to move, and hits Abyss with a chair. RVD runs down to make the save, and grabs the chair, following up with a Van Daminator on Abyss. Hardy, Anderson, and RVD stand in the ring as Abyss starts to crawl back in.

Check back with us here at BWF for coverage of the 2010 “Victory Road” ppv, and don’t forget to check out our comrade Gee’s “Impact” musings right here:

http://projectwonderboy.morphinenation.com/?p=3128

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

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