Home ▸ Impact ▸ Impact Wrestling 19/09/2013

Same deal as last week folks. Thanks to a busy day I’m watching Impact while extremely tired and eating my lunch.

The show starts with a small segment with Magnus. He said he left it all in the ring and goes to talk about EGO interfering. Roode comes in and EGO beat Magnus down, telling him he’ll never be champion and he only has himself to blame.

Magnus comes out to the ring to start the show properly. He says he’s hurt and asks the fans if they rememebr what happened last week when he failed to win the BFG series. I hope they remember, it was only about half an hour or so for them. He says AJ is one of the best in the business and wishes him luck in the title match. He brings up EGO and challenges any one member of them to come face him one on one and Kaz comes out. It’s a pretty one sided beatdown by the Brit until Daniels runs out and turns the tables. They go to double team Magnus but he ducks the clothesline and it becomes one on one again until Roode comes out and it becomes a three on one beatdown. Sting and Samoa Joe come out for the save. Sting issues a challenge for a six man tag.

Video package hyping AJ calling out Dixie.

There’s a backstage segment with TJ Perkins, Sabin and Velvel. For some reason Sabin calls TJ Manik. He’s only Manik when the mask is on. Sabin praises TJ for having the guts to march up to Hogan and ask for a match with Hardy. It took almost as much guts as it took Sabin to ask out Velvel, though she said yes before he finished asking. Sabin is proud of TJ and puts himself over, saying he is the reason TJ even has a job and he’s a big fan of TJ’s.

Jeff Hardy vs Manik
I wanna point out first that Hemme was wearing an actual dress that actually covered her. She should have worn this last time when Bully tried to expose her to the world. Sabin comes out and sits at ringside to watch the match. After some tie ups and chain wrestling Hardy starts a golf clap for Manik. Way to get the young talent over by having the older talent patronize them. The Jeff Hardy exercise app is now free so Joe needs to download it and review it for us. Hardy misses a corner drop kick and that looked absolutely terrible. He didn’t even try to make it look like a miss. Manik misses a springboard dropkick and Hardy hits a Whisper In The Wind for a two count. Manik counters the Twist of Fate and hits a modified GTS. Hardy hits a Swanton Bomb for the win. Tenay calls it a competitive matchup but no, I don’t think it was. Jeff picks Manik up and shakes his hand. I’m guessing some kind of deal took place. Sabin comes into the ring and raises Manik’s hand before starting a beatdown. Hardy ran back in for the save.

There’s a backstage segment that was filmed “earlier today” with Dixie. So this was presumably when she turned up for the first taping that aired last week. You know, when she told Hogan that Rampage and Toto wouldn’t be back until after their fight.

Another backstage segment, this one with Sabin. He tells Velvel to get their stuff because they’re going to go. He’s asked why he attacked Manik and he calls Manik, and everyone, disrespectful. No one understands just what he’s done and no one gives him respect. He’s going to earn respect, and take it.

I tried to find a Manik/TJ comparison so I didn’t have to make one and found this instead.

ODB vs Mickie James
Mickie James has been released because she didn’t renew her contract. ODB wins. Shocker. At least she put on a good match before she left. I’m not a big fan of her character but she’s fun to see in the ring. The finish comes when Mickie goes for the corner Tornado DDT and ODB reverses it into “The Bam” and gets the win. Eric Young and Joseph Park come out to celebrate with her. After a short celebration The Bro-Manz come out, remember those guys? I didn’t. Robbie E says he hates to break up the celebration, saying it’s bad enough EY is in the ring but Park is just a “Third wheel hamster loser…bro.” He calls EY, Park and ODB the creepiest three way in history. Park cuts a promo on them, asking how they dare insult ODB, matrimony, and the fans. If he wasn’t wearing his suit he’d have put up his dukes (his words not mine) and teach them both a lesson. Bromanz says it sounds like he’s challenging him to a fight. EY grabs the mic and says that while Park is wearing a suit, he, Eric, isn’t, and accepts the challenge.

They went to this camera angle way too much.

Robbie E(Possibly) vs Eric Young
They released Tara but not either of these guys. What the actual fuck? Eric Young rolls Robbie E up for the pin after about three seconds. Robbie says it doesn’t count as a match because he wasn’t eady for EY, he wanted Park. Park tries to talk his way out of it and Robbie calls him a fat bastard. Be A Star! Wait, wrong program.

Joseph Park vs Robbie E
We come back from break and the match starts. Then it ends. Robbie E tries to jump Park, who ducks out the way, and rolls him up for a three count. Bromanz come in and double team EY after sending Park out the ring. They then throw Park into the steel steps and go after EY again. Park blades and unleashes his inner Abyss and wastes Bromanz. He Hulks Down and hugs EY who raises his arm.

Couldn’t resist putting this in.

Backstage with Hulk and Dixie, again. Hulk offers to handle AJ for Dixie and she says she’s got this one.

Bully comes out, complete with Brooke Tessmacher in assless chaps and she’s now got a chain on her belt. A chain Bully Ray holds. What a role model to women everywhere. Fuck this company. They have a great Knockouts match and then they go and do shit like that. Bully says he knows the fans are proud of them and mocks Anderson’s absence. He introduces himself as the World Heavyweight champion and the leader of the Aces and Eights, and says there’s nothing anybody can do about it. He teases thanking the Aces and Eights and them being the reason he’s still the champ before saying it was all because of Brooke. Without her he would be nothing, and without him, she would have dignity. The Aces and Eights are of course, disgruntled. Brisco runs his mouth and Bully chastises him for referring to Brooke as “Just her”. Wes isn’t even allowed to look at her anymore. Brodus grabs the mic and says Wes has a point and reminds Bully who’s always had his back and says that since Brooke came along, Bully has been out of whack. I’d say it happened as soon as Toto turned up. Bully congratulates him for standing himself and tells him to not do it again. The Aces of Funk were nothing before Bully brought them in. He’ll smack them both in the face if they step out of line.

Knux asks Bully if he’ll get a slap in the face too and says Bully has a big mouth and perhaps he should shut it. They started with 25 members and now they have four because Tazz doesn’t count. The club is falling apart and for the past year it’s not been about the club, it’s been about Bully. Bully forgot the first rule of The Aces And Eights, which is bros before hoes apparently. I really thought the first rule of their club was “When you ride with the Aces and Eights, you never walk alone.” Because you ride everywhere. I actually liked Knux on the mic. Bully shoves Knux and grabs the mic. If Knux ever steps out of line, or calls Brooke a ho (which got a huge “ho” chant, complete with the “Yes!” arms), then he’s going to have his face knocked off. Knux gets upp in Bully’s face and the chickenshit heel flees. The man who hospitalised and crippled Anderson is running away.

Backstage segment with what’s left of the Main Event Mafia. Kurt’s gone, Rampage is training, and now there’s only three of them. Sting pumps up Magnus and Joe joins in. They’re going to go out and get revenge.

…Yep.

Hernandez and Chavo vs Gunner and James Storm (non-title match)
Chavo starts the fight by saying he can’t fight. He’s injured and isn’t cleared. Gunner says he came out to fight and he’s not walking out without a fight. He asks what’s wrong with Hernandez and Storm says he can’t speak English. Be A Star! No, wait, still the wrong program. In TNA it’s okay to perpetuate stereotypes and objectify women! Gunner calls out Hernandez and Storm says he’ll sit at ringside and drink and cheer Gunner on. Gunner is referred to as the Modern Day Viking. I wish. I fucking love Vikings. It’s a very physical matchup with them trading blows ending with Super Mex jumping the border. I mean, ring ropes.

Gunner hits a pretty nice spring Suplex and they go back to trading blows. That was pretty much all that happened in this match with an occasional power move. It did make both guys look pretty impressive I’ll give them that. Gunner picks up the win with a backbreaker. Storm comes in to celebrate with Gunner and Chavo insists that Storm and Gunner can’t beat both of them at the same time.

In honour of the USA chants from this match.

EGO vs MEM
When MEM come out Sting goes back into the back and brings a baseball bat to the ring. The ref does his job and eventually gets the bat away from Sting. Who does he think he is? Batman? I thought he was supposed to be The Joker. Match starts with Joe and Daniels. Daniels takes contol of the match quickly and Joe just as quickly takes it back with strikes of his own. Joe tags in Magnus and he and Joe double team Kaz for just a one count. Magnus tags in Sting and knocks Kaz out the ring and drives him into the steps. Sting takes EGO off the apron and Daniels grabs Sting, allowing Kaz to drop him.

When we come back from break Roode is in the ring with Sting. Ego pretty much triple team Sting in the corner and Daniels gets a two count. Kaz comes in and applies the Headlock Of Doom. Sting fights to the corner and the ref misses the tag and there’s another triple team attack on Sting in EGO’s corner. Sting is basically being dominated and destroyed by EGO. He finally gets a hot tag to Magnus and Daniels breaks up the pin attempt. Joe and Sting run in and it devolves into a brawl. Sting gets DDT’d, Joe and Magnus hit a double team and Daniels breaks up the pin again. A lot of stuff happens and it ends when Roode whacks Magnus with the bat and picks up the win. That match wasn’t bad but the end was a total clusterfuck. I had no idea who the legal men were. One second Sting is trying to tap someone out and the next Magnus takes the pinfall loss.

AJ Styles vs Dixie Carter
AJ has been in TNA since day one trying to get it on the map, and provide an alternative, but then *poof*, Dixie’s daddy bought her a wrasslin company. Dixie has no wrasslin experience and broke up what made TNA what it was. What happened to Jerry Lynn and Low Ki? Dixie traded them for MMA guys and guys who take a two year paid vacation before going back where they belong. Because of this Petey Williams, Jay Lethal and Alex Shelley can’t be there, and it pisses AJ off. The fans are just as pissed off too and they start a “Wrestling matters” chant. I wonder if TNA remember that used to be their motto. AJ says he doesn’t have a contract and none of the contracted wrestlers have respect for her anyway. When she broke the chemistry and picked off the band of brothers, Dixie left one standing in AJ. He’s gonna win the title and he’s gonna win it for himself, his brothers and the fans. He’s gonna make Dixie get on her knees and beg, and then make her pay.

I wish I had a GIF of this guy, he was an epic dancer.

After this Dixie herself finally comes out. She has her knees exposed too so I don’t think she’s about to get on her knees. Dixie knows AJ means what he’s saying and she’s sorry. She has to be accountable and she holds herself accountable to a lot of people including their investors, her staff, and their fans. She owes AJ an apology and says sorry again. She’s sorry that she ever let AJ feel important in the company. He’s never been anything but a little better than average than any fish in any pond he’s ever been in. The “Phenomenal” thing is just a marketing gimmick that Dixie created for all the five star matches he USED to have. Everything about AJ has been so subpar he’ll be lucky if he gets called “The Marginal One” because he is nothing like he used to be.

She thanks AJ for giving him the chance to go into HER ring, on HER show, to respond to all the crap AJ has criticised her about. She hopes that now things are clearer between them and say that without her daddy’s paycheck AJ would still be in a trailer and the house that AJ built is a house that Dixie built and owns. AJ is lucky he ever got to play in it. Dixie goes to leave and AJ tells her to shove the microphone where it belongs. Dixie grabs a headset and shouts for the boys in the back to cut AJ’s mic and take the show off the air, and that’s what happens.

Dixie might be, most of the talent are.

My thoughts? Other than the final segment there’s actually not a great deal to talk about from this show. Plus the majority of it actually pissed me off. The main things to take away from this show is the dissention between Aces and Eights, and this stuff between Dixie and AJ. I don’t care if it’s a rehash of what Punk did, as JT McMahon would say, “It’s compelling television!” Everything is a rehash of a rehash, get used to it and enjoy the ride. I’m interested in seeing where they go from here, and that’s all that matters.

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