I know that TNA is usually Drowgoddess territory around here, and I thank her immensely for that, but I’ve been meaning to start posting more than just show reviews and JT’s Random Randomness here for quite a while. You see that Drow and I got started on that last week. So here I am with another opinion piece, this time directed at everybody’s favorite number two promotion, TNA.
Nine things I hate about TNA Wrestling, after the jump!
1. Their Pay-Per-View events sneak up on me. Look, I run a wrestling website, and we cover your company’s weekly television show and your Pay Per Views without fail. The fact is, Drowgoddess, JT, and myself all watch your show every single week. So please tell me, why, for the fourth or fifth month in a row, did I have no idea that we’re less than a week away from your Pay Per View event? Yes folks, Against All Odds is this coming Sunday night, February 8th. I didn’t know that until I was on their website a few minutes ago. I didn’t even see it on the front page (it’s there in the feature section, but I’m impatient), I just happened to roll over the “Pay Per View” link in the navigation bar for the sheer fact that I wanted to see when your next PPV is. I always know when WWE is hosting a Pay Per View. I always know the name of said PPV, too. That’s because on their TV show every week, not only do all of the announcers talk about the event (and run down the card in a manner that you can’t miss), all of the performers who are participating in the event do as well. Not to mention that it clearly says how much time there is until a PPV on the HD entrance. Maybe you do these things too – if you do, you’re no damned good at it!
2.) The world, wrestling or otherwise, does not revolve around Kurt Angle. Admitedly, Kurt Angle is a hell of a worker in the ring and a solid entertainer outside of it. Hell, he may certainly be the best wrestler on the planet. That doesn’t mean your show needs to revolve around him. In your eyes, it seems, that Kurt could do no wrong. The problem with Kurt – and a majority of the top guys on your roster – is that he’s a former WWE talent, and you put him over your homegrown guys like AJ Styles on a regular basis. That’s what WCW did – and we all know whose telling the tale of WCW these days. I don’t care if Kurt’s a 12 time World Champion, he’s not the only guy in your company that you need to push.
3. Speaking of, what kind of bizarre math gives Kurt Angle 12 World Championships? Let’s count, shall we? 4 WWE Championships, 1 WWE World Heavyweight Championship, 1 WCW (in WWE) Championship, 2 TNA World Championships, 1 (disputed) IWGP Third Belt Championship, and 1 Power Pro Wrestling (whatever that is) Championship. 4+1+1+2+1+1 = 10. What the hell are the other two?
4. Enough with the gimmick infringement. Look, WCW beat WWE in the ratings 88 weeks in a row because they had a fresh idea with the nWo. The Main Event Mafia? Knockoffs. Yes, it’s an impressive resume that the group brings to the table, but it’s been done. Meanwhile, you’ve got guys who should be showcased in the X Division pretending to be other wrestlers and wasting away in the Front Line, such as Jay Lethal and Petey Williams. The worst part about that is, Petey is dressed up like a guy who’s in the Main Event Mafia.
5. You ruined the X Division. Before TNA got it’s deal with Spike, I read glowing reviews of the X Division, and with good reason. It was fresh, it was new, it was something that WWE wouldn’t do – we all know how little they like to utilize their smaller performers. Instead of letting it flourish and lead your brand of Professional Wrestling to glory, you let Jay Lethal turn into Randy Savage, Petey Williams turn into Scott Steiner, and Shark Boy turn into Steve Austin, and try to get them over by putting them against guys that wouldn’t survive the X Division, particularly Ultimate X.
6. Stop copying WCW. I watched iMPACT last week, and you guys had the Main Event Mafia take over. No real build up to it either, just tune in, and boom, there’s Scott Steiner doing ring announcing and “Chet Lemon and Black Snow” on commentary. WCW tried that once – except they had the nWo come out, demolish the WCW Nitro set, and then took over the show. Guess what – that expieriment failed miserably too.
7. Stop giving characters and stables such stupid names. Brutus Magnus? Seriously? Don’t get me started about the stables – the Kongtourage, the Main Event Mafia, the Front Line? While “Kongtourage” is somewhat clever, “Main Event Mafia” sounds like it was named by a 3 year old who just saw a cartoon about gangsters. “Front Line?” You do realize that’s a flea medication, right? Ugh.
8. Isn’t it about time to scrap the Suicide character? First of all, he should’ve debuted months ago when your video game came out. Now, you’ve just got a guy from a failed video game randomly saving people. By the way, weren’t you doing the exact same thing with Abyss a few months back?
9. You’re not WWE. Get over it. WWE acknowledges TNA – they’re just not obvious about it. Matt Hardy called Braden Walker a “real wild cat.” Goldust was upset about something, and he said “Rats.” These are subtle jabs at the competition. Notice the word “subtle.” The WWE does not mention TNA by name except in a little tiny “industry news” section of their website – which is updated every day and totally plugs their PPVs. TNA on the other hand, mentions WWE on their show nearly every week. I’m willing to bet that Vince McMahon has been mentioned on iMPACT more than Dixie Carter’s has – and she owns the damned company. TNA got a television deal because they weren’t World Wrestling Entertainment. What happened to “We Are Wrestling?” My Shark Boy action figure (mint on card) that’s right next to me says “Wrestling Reinvented” right on the front of the package. How is this “wrestling reinvented” if you’re trying to be exactly like the WWE? How can you call yourself “Total Non-stop Action” when half of your television program is guys standing around talking? Your damned show was supposed to be an alternative to WWE, but you’re on pace to be DVD fodder for them in a couple of years if you don’t turn it around and present yourself as an alternative. With ROH getting a TV deal, TNA’s days as number two in the United States are almost up if they don’t do something soon.
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