Hello everyone, and welcome to another exciting RAW review!!  Tickets for Wrestlemania 27, as well as the birthdays of both ThinkSoJoE and randomredhead are in only five days!! Let’s just say that’s a really good birthday idea…   And there’s my random plug.  So, what is it that’s going to happen this week?  More John Cena and Nexus drama, of course, but what else?  Will Daniel Bryan make someone else tap out?  Will Cole finally shut up?  Who knows?!

Tonight, the Divas are having a Six-Diva Tag Team match they’re calling the Diva Cup, and Wade Barrett is comin’ home!!  What kind of a homecoming celebration will he get??

John Cena is in the middle of the ring, representing Nexus, and has a giant scroll.  Old style scroll.  Pretty neat lookin, actually.  H reads that it is his distinct honor to introduce us to the man who has promised and delivered the winds of change. The leader of the most devastating, dominant, and revolutionary force to step foot in the WWE known as the Nexus.  At Survivor Series, he will be your WWE Champion.  Please welcome, making his long-awaited, triumphant return home to Manchester, England, Wade Barrett.

We walk alone, through the unknown…

Huh.  Josh Matthews is taking over for Jerry Lawler tonight, but Cole’s still there.  Damn it.

Nexus is in the ring, and Barrett thanks Cena for his outstanding introduction, that he wrote.  Barrett says that the prodigal son has returned, and they cheer.  Go England.  Barrett says that there’s no better way to celebrate his upcoming championship reign than to have a preview of the celebration tonight.  Tonight, there’s going to be a big party, and all of Manchester is invited.  Before the Nexus hoists Barrett victoriously above their shoulders, there is business that he needs to take care of.  Barrett says there were a couple issues that occurred last week that he needs to look into.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Otunga brings Nexus to Smackdown and gets a Spear and a loss for Nexus.>

Barrett tells Otunga to step forward.  He says next time Otunga undermines his authority, to take Nexus to Smackdown without his permission, make sure he’s successful.  He orders Otunga back in line, and says he’ll deal with him later.  Right now, he wants to deal with Cena.

Last week, Cena had the opportunity on RAW to showcase what he would do at Survivor Series during Barrett’s match with Orton.  Instead, he missed the tag and ended up declaring Orton and Truth the winners.

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Orton and Truth defeat Barrett and Otunga.>

Barrett tells Cena to explain himself.  Cena says that it all started as a joke, and mentions all the stuff that happened when he was wrapping.  Barrett says that he was talking about that match and asks what happened.  Cena says they lost.  Barrett warns Cena not to test him and says that Cena’s lucky he’s in his home town, and no one will ruin his celebration.  The simple fact is, Cena is either free of Nexus or fired.  Cena either raises Barrett’s hand and awards him the WWE title, or Barrett flushes his entire WWE career down the toilet.  Cena says he’s glad Barrett’s home, glad his countrymen embrace him, and he hopes that Barrett remembers what he said last week: After that match is over, he’s going to give Barrett and anyone who interferes, the beating of a lifetime.  Barrett says Cena’s cute, and he holds Cena’s destiny in his hand, but at Survivor Series, Cena’s going to do what Barrett tells him to, but now they need to practice what will happen after the match at Survivor Series.  He wants Cena to tell the world that Wade Barrett is the new WWE Champion.  Cena says he hasn’t won anything yet, and Barrett says it’s a practice.  Cena says whatever.

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton comes out and stays on the stage, looking at Nexus.  He says last time he checked, he was still WWE Champion.  It’s true Wade has Cena under his thumb, but Barrett is fighting Orton, not Cena, and he doesn’t doubt that he can beat Barrett regardless of the referee.  Orton doesn’t care if Cena is free or fired, but he is going to make sure Orton will never have the WWE Champion.  Barrett says that last time he checked, he had an army standing behind him at his beck and call, and he doesn’t recall Orton having anyone behind him.

And I quote: “Wade Barrett’s championship celebration preview has been officially cancelled.  Also, to insure that there is a decisive victor, the WWE title match must be won by pinfall or submission only.  Furthermore, I am officially announcing that the remaining members of Nexus will be banned from ringside.  But Wade, that’s at Survivor Series.  As for tonight, since Wade Barrett has an army behind him, Randy Orton is going to have one as well.  Team Barrett, comprised of Nexus, will take on Team Orton, in a ten man tag team match.  I, the General Manager, will personally choose the members of Orton’s team later, but I do know this: the special guest referee for this match will be John Cena.”

Cena knocks over the Nexus podium, and then shoves Otunga as he walks up.  Cena then walks out of the ring.

The Diva’s Cup tag match is next!


@CawCawBang and i quote shut your dirty pie hole!

@KickStunner Orton comin out like “I’M IN THIS STORY LINE TOO YOU KNOW!”

@TKeep123 Wade Barrett ain’t happy! <G> Cena’s doing stand-up comedy and Otunga is changing has drawers. #RAW #WWE #BWF

@thinksojoe Cena is gold in this promo #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar LOL that was funny. I gotta admit it, Cena

@kickoutblog Nexus has their own calligraphy? Classy!

Diva’s Cup: Eve Torres, Nikki, and Brie Bella vs. Maryse, Tamina, and Alicia Fox

Eve and Tamina start out, and Tamina shoves Tamina back in the corner.  She then kicks her hard in the stomach, but eve gets out of the corner and gets Tamina in there, hitting some hard kicks on Tamina before Irish Whipping her, only to get it countered, and then dropped by Tamina with a Samoan drop, going for a cover for Eve to kick out.  Tamina tags in Maryse, who goes for a cover only for Eve to kick out.  Maryse shoves Eve around the ring a little before taunting the Bellas and holding Eve in a headlock before shoving her down and doing it again.  Eve gets up to her feet, and fights out, hitting a kick to Maryse’s head.  Eve and Maryse tag in Alicia and Brie, according to the other Twin, and Alicia starts to hit something, but Brie counters for the pin, does something, then goes for another pin.  Tamina breaks it up, Eve chases her down, Maryse gets in, Nikki gets chased out of the ring by the ref, and then Maryse hits the French Kiss on Brie.  Nikki runs in and switches places, and then pins Alicia.

Eve Torres and the Bella Twins win via pinfall.

Nexus is backstage, and Otunga says that Cena tried to punk them.  Barrett walks up and interrupts his pep talk, and Otunga says that he was just telling everyone that they need to step it up.  Barrett says that Otunga won’t be a part of Team Barrett, but put in a singles match against Cena.  Barrett says that he wants Otunga to give it everything, and he’ll tell Cena the exact same thing.  Nexus then walks away, leaving Otunga alone.


@Niki_Sushi Got talent? The only thing the Bellas have is a professional job as escorts.

@KeepItFiveStar I hate “Twin Magic”

@CawCawBang maryse whip her hair back and forth

@TKeep123 Diva Match…the white shorts look like diapers! #RAW #WWE

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Natalya beats Michelle McCool to become Number One Contender for the Diva’s Championship at Survivor Series.>

The Hart Dynasty, Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith with Natalya vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso

Smith and one of the Usos is in right now, Jimmy, and Smith gets a big advantage , knocking Jey out, then Jimmy right after.  Smith tags Kidd in, and Kidd jumps over the ring, hitting a hurricanrana on one of the Usos.  Kidd then throws the other one into the ring, missing an elbow drop.  The Uso in the ring shoves Kidd into the corner, and the other one is tagged in.  I can’t tell the different, could you tell?  Usos get the advantage, then tag in.  Smith looks like he’s about to walk out, and then the Usos go for another tag on Kidd, who kicks out.  Apparently Jey has a tattoo on his chest and Jimmy doesn’t.  Whichever one is in the ring keeps, Kidd over, but misses a drop on Jimmy, who is in the ring.  Jimmy tags in Jey, while Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who decided to stay.  Smith hits a belly-to-belly, and goes for a cover, only for Jey to kick out.  Smith hits the running bulldog, but Jimmy breaks up the pin.  Kidd slides between the ropes to attack Jimmy, who dishes back some pain, and then Smith has to get Jimmy off the apron.  Jey hits the splash on Smith and pins him for the win.

Jimmy and Jey Uso win via pinfall.

Am I the only one who started singing Mark Henry’s theme when the Uso theme hit?

Coming up, Tea Time With Santino, featuring Sheamus.  This is amazing.  Also coming up, David Otunga will take on John Cena.


@KeepItFiveStar If only every wrestler called their name out before they did stuff like the Usos “MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!” *Splash*

@kickoutblog The Usos? The guys who almost killed The Hart Dynasty’s career are back to finish the job once and for all?

@thinksojoe The Usos totally ripped off the Godsmack logo #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Goddamn. Uso’s should get a bigger crowd reaction. They have fucking SKILL, bitches.

@TKeep123 TEA with SANTINO !!!!! “Business is about to pick up!” A little Earl Gray for Sheamus? #RAW #WWE

Next week, WWE goes Old School on RAW, and it starts at 8 PM!! I’ll do my best to be here, so so should you!

Matt Striker is backstage and asks Orton who he thinks the GM will pick as his partners.  Orton says he has no idea and he has to care who his partners are.  His teams had better be the best of the best.

The Miz interrupts and says that he just heard from the GM, so he can tell Orton that one member of his team is him.  Orton doesn’t need to worry about getting the best, because right now his team is awesome.

Slater and Gabriel are looking at their belts, Harris and McGuillicutty are talking, and Otunga comes back.  No one says anything, and Otunga says that he meant Cena, not them.  Otunga  says that he’ll show them how a leader handles stuff, and that they should all be out there, since they’re a team.  Gabriel asks if Barrett knows, and Otunga says that they shouldn’t need to ask, and they’re either Nexus or against us, and he’ll see them out there.  They don’t agree.


@TKeep123 Otunga soundin ‘mighty white’ in that last scene……like Beaver Cleaver. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@thinksojoe If they don’t break out either the old RAW letters set or the neon set next week, I will be severely disappointed. #BWF

@kickoutblog I find Nexus’ race relations to be a bit shady. I’m onto you, and I’m not fooled by the one hillbilly you kicked out of the group either!

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Ted DiBiase and Maryse crash the wedding of Goldust and Aksana, only for Ted DiBiase to save it. Confused yet? Oh, yeah, and Aksana slaps the taste out of Goldust after they’re declared married.>

Goldust comes out, looking pretty pissed off.  Poor guy.  I like Goldust.

Goldust vs. Ted DiBiase with Maryse

Goldust painted tears on his face tonight.

Ted and Goldust start out busy, DiBiase getting an advantage, only to get thrown by Goldust.  Goldust clotheslines him out of the ring, and DiBiase climbs back in, bouncing off the ropes, and right into an inverted atomic drop.  DiBiase goes to town beating on Goldust’s head, throwing Goldust around the ring.  DiBiase goes for a cover, but Goldust kicks out. Another cover, but Goldust kicks out again.  DiBiase keeps putting pressure on Goldust’s head, but Goldust fights back, and DiBiase goes for a cover, but Goldust kicks out.  DiBiase tells Maryse to go get the Million Dollar Championship, and she does.  Goldust fights back, hitting an uppercut, then the running bulldog and into a cover.  DiBiase kicks out at two, and Goldust throws Ted, who counters, and then DiBiase gets hit by a scoop slam.  Aksana comes down to the ring, and tries to take the belt, slapping Maryse and then running away with the belt.  Goldust steals a pin and starts to follow Aksana, then does follow her up the ramp.

Goldust wins via pinfall.


@KeepItFiveStar As much as I like Maryse’s heels, shes rockin some sexy boots. #allblackeverything

@Niki_Sushi Maryse looks fucking amazing, as always. #BWF #RAW

@CawCawBang nah the reason she isn’t coming near the commentary desk is because you’re a female replete cole

@kickoutblog Seriously, Michael Cole is beyond unbearable.


John Cena vs David Otunga

Well then.  Otunga makes his way out to the ring, and Nexus actually makes their way down the ramp.  I am a little shocked to see them out.  I thought they’d just ditch them, but surprise!

Oh.  Look at that.  Now they’re leaving.  I so knew it.

Otunga takes off up the ramp, and Cena chases him down, knocking him down and then throwing him into the car on the stage.  Cena then literally runs Otunga back down to the ring, right inside.  Cena hits Otunga with a clothesline, and hits what I think was a gut wrench power bomb.  Swagger’s throwing a tantrum on Smackdown right now.  Anyway, Cena keeps an advantage over Otunga, hitting his new favorite move, the standing dropkick on Otunga, before slamming his face in the turnbuckle.  Cena then whips Otunga across the ring, but Otunga moves before he can get hit.  Otunga takes advantage, hitting Cena repeatedly.  Otunga goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out.  The crowd is screwing with me, but, whatever.  Otunga is beating the shit out of Cena, and then hits an elbow drop before going for a cover.  Cena kicks out.  Otunga steps on Cena, then misses another elbow, and Cena fights back, hitting the shoulder blocks, then setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle..  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, but doesn’t go for the cover yet.  He grabs him and puts him in the STF.

John Cena wins via submission.


@ThingsColeSays Holy crap, I think Mark Henry could beat David Otunga in a foot race after seeing that.

Otunga’s in the back, icing his neck, when Barrett walks up.  Barrett says last week, he got pinned in their tag team match, and then he decided to take Nexus to Smackdown, and got pinned again. And tonight, in Barrett’s home town, Otunga embarrassed him.  Barrett’s giving Otunga a chance to redeem himself: Take Nexus back to Smackdown and have a match with Edge.  If Otunga doesn’t beat Edge, he’s done.

Holy shit.  Santino and Vladimir Kozlov, dressed like English gentlemen, walk out.  Santino says that he and Kozlov like to blend in.  They were excited to come to the UK, and they watched the Bond movies, Austin Powers, Mr. Bean, and a bunch of others.  They think they know everything about the culture now.  He says that every time he crosses the roads he almost gets killed, and he asks everyone to drive on the other side just for him.

Santino says that he wants to make peace with Sheamus.  He was angry, so they’re going to have an old-style classic tea party, and everything will be okay.

Sheamus walks down to the ring, looking rather unimpressed.  Santino says hi and then shakes Sheamus’ hand, who doesn’t know proper hand-shaking etiquette, because he holds on too long.  They all sit down, and Santino says they got off on the wrong foot, and they want to be on the right foot.  Santino says that they have something, and ginger tea, which he apologizes for, and an autographed picture of Mr. T.  Sheamus says that he thinks he got Santino all wrong: he’s not bad, just misunderstood.  Sheamus knew a guy back home in Ireland who only had one friend, and just like Santino, his friend was a donkey.  Everyone in the town called him the village idiot.  Santino mistakes it to be the donkey called the village idiot.  Santino says it’s time for tea, and asks Sheamus if he takes his tea dark or milky.  And apologizes for that, saying that he’s not trying to be smart, and he’s not referring to the fact that Sheamus has no pigmentation.  And asks them not to make him angry, because Santino doesn’t like it when he’s angry.  Santino says that Sheamus has rage inside him, and it’s either because he’s been over exposed to gamma rays, or when he was growing up, he was excluded from activities with other kids because he’s a ginger.

Santino says that they’re generous, but they aren’t helping.  Santino says he won’t exclude Sheamus from activities, and he won’t treat Sheamus like a ghost – Ooh…  Sheamus says Santino’s a funny person, and Santino had him laughing so hard he forgot why he hated him in the first place.  Santino says that he can’t remember why Sheamus hates him either.  Kozlov helpfully points out that Sheamus hates him because he beat him.  Kozlov keeps pointing it out, and Sheamus isn’t happy anymore. Kozlov thinks it’s funny anyway.

Santino says that he doesn’t like the way Sheamus is looking at him, and pours Sheamus more tea, with a shaky hand, then all over his lap.  Santino says that he’s sorry, and Sheamus flips the table.

“The time for tea and crumpets has come to an end.  It’s now time for action.  Clear the ring, and clear Vladimir Kozlov from ringside as well, because Santino Marella is going one on one with Sheamus.”


@Niki_Sushi Kozlov… you’re going to get Santino killed. And he won’t have a clue why. #BWF #RAW

@FrankWWEClown A Kozlov chant. Only in the United Kingdom, indeed. I love it. #WWE #RAW

@thinksojoe Gingers have no souls! #BWF

@Niki_Sushi THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING! He’s the red-headed stepchild! #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef Shea-Moose looks like he’s trying so hard not to laugh xD #WWE

@RingsideRants Kozlov has already shown more personality than ever before… and he hasn’t even talked yet.

@TKeep123 Loving Koslov right now! “Biggest upset in Duble, duble E History…..EVER!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

Santino Marella vs Sheamus

Sheamus is still in the suit thing, and is trying to take the shirt off.  Sheamus is looking at Santino like he’s a tard, and Santino ducks under the rope, shrieking like a woman.  Higher than me, and I’m a soprano.  Santino rolls out of the ring and then starts to get back in, but Sheamus distracts the ref.  Santino runs into the crowd, and Sheamus starts to follow him.  Sheamus says he wants Santino in the ring.

“Santino Marella, you have two choices.  Get back in the ring and compete, or be immediately suspended.”

Santino asks, right now? And Sheamus motions for Santino to get into the ring.  Santino riles himself up and climbs into the ring.  He starts to go for the Cobra, but Sheamus knocks him on his back and stomps him.  You can hear Santino go ‘ow’ every time he’s hit too.  Santino continuously crawls for the ropes, but Sheamus tugs him to the middle of the ring.  Sheamus looks unimpressed at Santino’s begging, and Santino hits a low blow on Sheamus and gets disqualified.  Santino considers it a victory.

Sheamus wins via disqualification.

Sheamus gets up and hits the Brogue Kick on Santino.  Sheamus then proceeds to destroy Santino.  Sheamus gets Santino up, but Morrison runs into the ring and fights against Sheamus, hitting the flash kick on Sheamus and knocking him out of the ring.  Morrison drags Santino to the other side of the ring.

Cena’s standing backstage, looking at the promo for Wrestlemania XXVII.  Barrett joined him during the little commercial.  Barrett comments on Wrestlemania, and tells Cena to imagine never being able to experience that again.  In two weeks, all Cena has to do is raise Barrett’s hand and name him the WWE Champion, and he can experience Wrestlemania all he wants.  Then, the Nexus will be nothing but a distant memory.  Tonight, Cena needs to do it right, or his career will be nothing but a distant memory.


@Niki_Sushi Oooh… Santino, you fight dirty. You just opened the doors for Sheamus to rip your balls off. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Fear The (Below the Belt) Cobra!!!! Santino! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar John Morrison should interfere in a hat and tux also. But somehow John Morrison is gonna Parkour his way into this match shirtless.

@kickoutblog Ever notice whenever someone says “do the right thing” in wrestling, it’s always the wrong thing?

<VIDEO PACKAGE: Second and Third Generation Superstars Stand Up For WWE.>

I hear voices…

WWE Champion Randy Orton, The Miz, R-Truth, Daniel Bryan, and Mark Henry vs Wade Barrett, WWE Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel, Husky Harris, and Michael McGuillicutty

I warn you all now.  I can’t keep up with matches with more than six people, apparently, so this isn’t going to be the best review of the match.  Besides, the good stuff doesn’t happen until the match is over anyway.


@Niki_Sushi I totally squee’gasmed over baby Cody and Ted. Hell, over all of it. That’s fuckin tradition. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 OK, I admit it, those private home photos of the legends rocked my boat. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Why are Mark Henry and Orton boys. Remember when Henry destroyed him and turned face?

@HitTheRopes Can we blow R-Truth up again, please? #wwe

I can tell you that Bryan and Gabriel start.  So far, I’m doing good!  And I missed whatever it was Bryan did, but Gabriel ducks under Bryan and tags in McGuillicutty.  Bryan gets an advantage, and Miz tags himself in, hitting McGuillicutty from behind.  Miz gets him in the corner, and Cena pulls Miz off of him.  Hear the Miz is Awesome chants? I love it.  Miz went for a cover, but McGuillicutty kicked out.  Miz tags in Orton.  Orton proceeds to beat McGuillicutty more, telling Barrett to come in.  Instead, he tells Slater to get in.  Orton toys with Slater, tagging in Truth.  Truth beats Slater in the corner and then Irish Whips him, countering a counter-Whip, and then does his fancy shit to avoid getting hit.  Truth goes for a cover, but Gabriel breaks it up, and then everyone runs in the ring.  Team Orton clears the ring of Nexus, and Otunga makes his way out, walking down the ramp.


@kickoutblog I think I figured out what pisses me off about Cole. Ever since his “turn,” it feels like he’s stopped taking his job seriously.

@KeepItFiveStar Did Orton just flex on Heath Slater to make him fall?

@TKeep123 R Truth in the UK: “I say, what is Up?” #WWE #RAW #BWF

@WWEsAngel_Nef I never thought I’d live to see the day when George Bush and Santino Marella would be dueling trending topics worldwide on twitter #WWE #BWF

Order has been restored, and it’s Truth and Gabriel in the ring.  Otunga’s standing ringside, in front of the announce table.  Truth is just smacking the shit out of Gabriel, who flips over him and takes him down, going for a cover, and Truth kicks out.  Gabriel tags in Harris, and I die a little inside.  Truth fights Harris, Irish Whipping him, only for Harris to counter, and Henry is tagged in.  Harris delvers some blows to Henry, who knocks him on his ass.  Henry then lifts Harris and slams him down.  Mark Henry then goes to hit something, but misses.  Harris then flings himself into Harris, and tags in McGuillicutty who is taken down by Henry.  Henry tags in Bryan.  Bryan delivers a series of hard kicks, getting whipped into the corner, but running up the ropes.  Bryan’s really giving it to McGuillicutty, but can’t put him away.  McGuillicutty comes back, and Harris tags in, after Bryan tries to hit the LaBell Lock.  Harris knocks him out and beats him up for a bit.  Harris has Bryan by the Nexus corner and Barrett tags in.

Bryan kicks out of a cover (just letting your eyes rest a bit).  Barrett dominates Bryan, going for another cover, only for Bryan to kick out.  Bryan fights to his feet, and Barrett plants Bryan, ending his quick defense.  Bryan kicks out at two from the cover, and Barrett tags in Gabriel, who tags in Harris, who tags in Slater.  Slater misses a run and this the corner instead.  Both men are down, and Slater knocks Miz off the rope, only for Bryan to clothesline him.  Both men struggle to make a tag, and Bryan tags in Orton and Slater tags in Barrett.  Orton plants Barrett with s coop slam, and then hits the DDT off the ropes.  Orton gets down and pounds on the mat, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Nexus doesn’t come in.  Barrett lifts Orton, who fights out, and then delivers a back breaker to Barrett.  McGuillicutty comes in, breaks it up, and Truth plants him to the ground.  Gabriel comes in and hits a super kick, Henry, hits the World’s Strongest Slam on him, then Slater and Harris come in and throw him off the ring, and then Bryan dropkicks both of them out of the ring.  Orton and Barrett get to their feet.  Barrett tries the Wasteland, Orton hits a back breaker.  Otunga manages to get Cena’s attention, and Riley attacks Orton with the briefcase, only for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Orton.  Barrett pins for the win.

Team Barrett wins via pinfall.

Well, the Miz betrayal wasn’t expected, but it does provide an interesting question.  Will he try to cash in after Survivor Series? What’ll happen to him next week?  I’ll see you then.

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