Rather than do a full blown RAW review tonight or skip the thing entirely, I’m here to do a “bullet-points” edition of the RAW review!  Basically, it’s a condensed version of what you usually get from me on Monday nights Tuesday Mornings, and I hope you all enjoy it!

  • RAW still wants to be loved, even after Papa Roach has released another album.  From what JT tells me, it’s pretty good.
  • Triple H takes on Orton later tonight as RAW emanates from the UK
  • SmackDown’s Chris Jericho kicks things off tonight.
    • He says he’s done with RAW.
    • Ricky Steamboat interrupts.
    • Steamboat thanks Jericho for bringing back his passion to perform.
    • Jericho challenges Steamboat to a match at Backlash.
    • John Cena interrupts.
    • Jericho tells Cena that his last act on RAW is to walk out on him.
    • Steamboat accepts Jericho’s challenge for Backlash
    • Cena tells Jericho that Vickie Guerrero is not here tonight, but she said Edge isn’t competing tonight, but Cena has to. Jericho’s last act on RAW is a match with Cena tonight.
  • Rey Mysterio takes on The Big Show later tonight.
  • Chavo Guerrero is officially a member of the RAW roster.
    • He can push around anybody on the RAW roster
    • Batista’s music hits, and the Animal hits the ring
    • Batista beats Chavo in mere seconds
    • Chavo apologizes to Vickie, saying he wasn’t ready
    • Batista returns and drops Chavo with a second Batista Bomb
  • Shane McMahon meets up with Batista backstage
    • They agree to be on the same page at Backlash and apologize for attacking each other last week.
  • Kane vs. CM Punk
    • Both of these guys are on SmackDown now.
    • Apparently the draft “takes full effect” next week after Backlash
    • Punk picks up the win with a rollup
    • Last week, he lost his match to The Great Khali, so now his poor sister has to kiss Khali
    • Some people think that he and his sister are the same person, he’s going to prove them wrong.
    • Santina’s music is a remix of Billy and Chuck’s old theme
    • She can’t kiss Khali because of a blister on her lip. She’s in Italy and joining us by satellite
    • She starts to explain that she won’t be able to make SmackDown this Friday, then mysteriously speeds up her speech, which Santino explains as her drinking too much Red Bull
    • Santino wrote a poem about the family
    • Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez inturrupt
    • She’s sorry to hear about Santina’s sister
    • Santina will be able to kiss Khali at Backlash
    • Santina starts to sing on the titan tron, but Santino cuts her off
    • Santino tells Beth she’d better pray she wins back the Women’s Championship tonight, because she’ll never be Miss WrestleMania
  • SmackDown’s WWE Women’s Champion, Melina is here to defend against Beth Phoenix
  • Melina vs. Beth Phoenix (WWE Women’s Championship)
    • If Beth wins this match, RAW will have both World Championships and both Women’s Championships
    • Beth utilizes some Awesome Kong like moves in this match
    • Melina hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb combo for the victory
  • Shane McMahon wishes Triple H good luck tonight
    • Shane reminds Triple H that if their team gets disqualified at Backlash, Orton wins the title
  • John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
    • “Y2J” chants fill the arena
    • The crowd seems to be behind Jericho, but all yelled “You can’t see me” for the Five Knuckle Shuffle
    • Jerry Lawler trash talks Fozzy, saying that the crowds booed so loud that Jericho couldn’t hear himself suck. Apparently he confused Jericho with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger
    • Jericho escapes the Attitude Adjuster and drops Cena with the Codebreaker, but Cena kicks out at two
    • Cena catches Jericho out of a second Codebreaker attempt with the Attitude Adjuster, but Jericho kicks out at two.
    • Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters into the STF. Jericho counters into an eziguri
    • Cena and Jericho battle on the top rope until Edge comes out and shoves them both down
    • Edge spears Cena
    • Edge hits the Con-chair-to on Cena
    • Edge reminds us of the rules to a last man standing match, then counts Cena out, announcing himself as the winner
  • Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show
    • Big Show catches Mysterio out of a 619, holds him in a sidewalk slam position, and punches him in the head, knocking him out for the victory
  • Ted DiBiase tells Cody Rhodes that it’s not the same being in a group when your leader isn’t a champion
    • Orton says Triple H knows he’s done and that this Sunday Legacy will win
  • Triple H vs. Randy Orton (no disqualification)
    • Lots of weapons used here
    • Triple H focused on Orton’s leg
    • Legacy comes out to save Orton.
    • Shane comes out to help HHH, but Legacy takes control
    • Batista comes out and dominates
    • Batista accidently hits Shane.
    • HHH and Batista clear out the ring.
    • Orton hits the RKO from out of nowhere. 1,2,3, ORTON WINS!!!!!!!!
    • We fade to black as both teams stand face to face. Orton & Legacy on the ramp, HHH, Shane & Batista in the ring.

Thanks to JT for getting me the highlights of the last match after I left for work!

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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