Home ▸ RAW ▸ RAW Bullet-points 4/20/09

Rather than do a full blown RAW review tonight or skip the thing entirely, I’m here to do a “bullet-points” edition of the RAW review!  Basically, it’s a condensed version of what you usually get from me on Monday nights Tuesday Mornings, and I hope you all enjoy it!

• RAW still wants to be loved, even after Papa Roach has released another album.  From what JT tells me, it’s pretty good.
• Triple H takes on Orton later tonight as RAW emanates from the UK
• SmackDown’s Chris Jericho kicks things off tonight.
  • He says he’s done with RAW.
  • Ricky Steamboat interrupts.
  • Steamboat thanks Jericho for bringing back his passion to perform.
  • Jericho challenges Steamboat to a match at Backlash.
  • John Cena interrupts.
  • Jericho tells Cena that his last act on RAW is to walk out on him.
  • Steamboat accepts Jericho’s challenge for Backlash
  • Cena tells Jericho that Vickie Guerrero is not here tonight, but she said Edge isn’t competing tonight, but Cena has to. Jericho’s last act on RAW is a match with Cena tonight.
• Rey Mysterio takes on The Big Show later tonight.
• Chavo Guerrero is officially a member of the RAW roster.
  • He can push around anybody on the RAW roster
  • Batista’s music hits, and the Animal hits the ring
  • Batista beats Chavo in mere seconds
  • Chavo apologizes to Vickie, saying he wasn’t ready
  • Batista returns and drops Chavo with a second Batista Bomb
• Shane McMahon meets up with Batista backstage
  • They agree to be on the same page at Backlash and apologize for attacking each other last week.
• Kane vs. CM Punk
  • Both of these guys are on SmackDown now.
  • Apparently the draft “takes full effect” next week after Backlash
  • Punk picks up the win with a rollup
• IT’S-A HE! SANTINO!
  • Last week, he lost his match to The Great Khali, so now his poor sister has to kiss Khali
  • Some people think that he and his sister are the same person, he’s going to prove them wrong.
  • Santina’s music is a remix of Billy and Chuck’s old theme
  • She can’t kiss Khali because of a blister on her lip. She’s in Italy and joining us by satellite
  • She starts to explain that she won’t be able to make SmackDown this Friday, then mysteriously speeds up her speech, which Santino explains as her drinking too much Red Bull
  • Santino wrote a poem about the family
  • Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez inturrupt
  • She’s sorry to hear about Santina’s sister
  • Santina will be able to kiss Khali at Backlash
  • Santina starts to sing on the titan tron, but Santino cuts her off
  • Santino tells Beth she’d better pray she wins back the Women’s Championship tonight, because she’ll never be Miss WrestleMania
• SmackDown’s WWE Women’s Champion, Melina is here to defend against Beth Phoenix
• Melina vs. Beth Phoenix (WWE Women’s Championship)
  • If Beth wins this match, RAW will have both World Championships and both Women’s Championships
  • Beth utilizes some Awesome Kong like moves in this match
  • Melina hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb combo for the victory
• Shane McMahon wishes Triple H good luck tonight
  • Shane reminds Triple H that if their team gets disqualified at Backlash, Orton wins the title
• John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
  • “Y2J” chants fill the arena
  • The crowd seems to be behind Jericho, but all yelled “You can’t see me” for the Five Knuckle Shuffle
  • Jerry Lawler trash talks Fozzy, saying that the crowds booed so loud that Jericho couldn’t hear himself suck. Apparently he confused Jericho with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger
  • Jericho escapes the Attitude Adjuster and drops Cena with the Codebreaker, but Cena kicks out at two
  • Cena catches Jericho out of a second Codebreaker attempt with the Attitude Adjuster, but Jericho kicks out at two.
  • Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters into the STF. Jericho counters into an eziguri
  • Cena and Jericho battle on the top rope until Edge comes out and shoves them both down
  • Edge spears Cena
  • Edge hits the Con-chair-to on Cena
  • Edge reminds us of the rules to a last man standing match, then counts Cena out, announcing himself as the winner
• Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show
  • Big Show catches Mysterio out of a 619, holds him in a sidewalk slam position, and punches him in the head, knocking him out for the victory
• Ted DiBiase tells Cody Rhodes that it’s not the same being in a group when your leader isn’t a champion
  • Orton says Triple H knows he’s done and that this Sunday Legacy will win
• Triple H vs. Randy Orton (no disqualification)
  • Lots of weapons used here
  • Triple H focused on Orton’s leg
  • Legacy comes out to save Orton.
  • Shane comes out to help HHH, but Legacy takes control
  • Batista comes out and dominates
  • Batista accidently hits Shane.
  • HHH and Batista clear out the ring.
  • Orton hits the RKO from out of nowhere. 1,2,3, ORTON WINS!!!!!!!!
  • We fade to black as both teams stand face to face. Orton & Legacy on the ramp, HHH, Shane & Batista in the ring.

Thanks to JT for getting me the highlights of the last match after I left for work!

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