While Mike Adamle is away, Chris Jericho will play, as he’s been picked to be the GM of the night as Mike Adamle is off meeting with Shane and Stephanie McMahon. What kind of chaos will the World Heavyweight Champion bring to the table tonight? We’ll find out!
Full detailed results after the jump!
The new toothless aggression, Chris Jericho, has a fat lip to accessorize is World Heavyweight Championship as he makes his way to the ring dressed in a suit to kick off Monday Night RAW! He’s in charge of RAW tonight, as Adamle is off meeting with Shane and Stephanie McMahon. Nevermind that for now though, Jericho beat the man who supposedly revolutionized the ladder match last night. Shawn Michaels did manage to permanently disfigure Jericho, who shows off his chipped tooth. He’ll have to live with that for the rest of his life. Every time he smiles, he’s going to think about Shawn Michaels. The irony? Thinking of HBK will make Jericho smile, because he did what he said he was going to do, he beat Shawn Michaels. He brutalized him, destroyed him, and defeated him in a match he supposedly couldn’t lose, and that makes Jericho smile. HBK’s not getting revenge tonight, Jericho’s done with him. His first order of business is to make HBK vs. Lance Cade in a No DQ match tonight. Jericho’s got nothing left to prove to anybody, because we’re forced to admit that Jericho is the true World Champion, and that he’s the best performer in this business in the world today.
I WALK ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
Batista congratulates the new champion, and asks him to pick the number. Jericho has no idea what Batista’s talking about. Batista says to pick the number of days until Batista’s title shot, since he’s the new number one contender. 14 days? 7 days? to-day? Jericho says to be careful what you wish for, Batista. He’s still in pain from last night, but he’d still find a way to beat Batista. Jericho says that he’s an animal, he’ll fight and claw and scratch and bite and whatever else he has to do to survive. Just like HBK, the name Batista will be synonymous with failure. Jericho suggests that Batista gets out of his ring right now. Batista smiles, laughs, and explains that whether Jericho likes it or not, he’s going to have to defend the title against Batista. Then he delivers a spinebuster to the Champion, saying that if you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio take on Mark Henry & Kane, later on tonight.
Moments ago, Batista dropped Chris Jericho with a spinebuster. During the break, Jericho said that he’s in charge, and as since he can’t strip Batista of the number one contendership, but he can make him put it on the line. So tonight, he’s wrestling JBL with special guest referee, Chris Jericho!
William Regal is in a throne ringside with Layla by his side. Jamie Noble and Mickie James make their way out for mixed tag team action.
Santino says he’s been criticized for being too Italian, so recently he’s made an effort to become more American, just for us. He’s adopted a new favorite NBA team. The Oklahoma City Thunder! Haha, take that Seattle! Finally Oklahoma City has an NBA franchise of it’s own. The thunder known as Glamarella is going to rain down on Noble and Mickie James.
Glamarella def. Jamie Noble & Mickie James
James and Phoenix kick things off, with a back and forth battle taking place before Santino gets the tag in. He’s wearing his OKC Thunder shirt under his singlet tonight, and he’s also getting beaten up by Jamie Noble, who goes for the seated armbar that he’s been winning his matches with, but it’s broken up by The Glamazon. Santino tries to mount some offense, unsuccessfully, but Beth interferes, distracting Noble and allowing Marellla to roll him up for the victory!
After the match, Noble goes after Santino, who escapes, and a brawl breaks out between Regal and Noble, which is broken up by a referee and Mickie James.
Shawn Michaels is backstage. Todd Grisham wants to know what HBK thinks of having to face Lance Cade tonight. HBK says he’s not going to beg not to compete tonight, just because he’s in pain. HBK’s got a better question. Is Jericho going to defend his title tonight? Nope, because he feels the same way that HBK does. Instead, he wants Cade to do his dirty work and try to finish Michaels off for good. But because HBK is hopped up on adrenaline, he’s going to show everybody that he’s still got plenty of gas left in the tank.
You can go to WWE.com for photos and videos from No Mercy. You can look at the previous post on this site for the results though 😉
Kofi Kingston makes his way to the ring. He’s facing Ted DiBiase who comes to the ring with his partners, Manu and Cody Rhodes. CM Punk makes his way out to watch Kofi’s back, and we’re underway.
Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase
DiBiase is in control of this match early on. Kofi finally starts to battle back, using his quickness to his advantage. Kofi breaks out some unique offense, and even manages to avoid paying for a distraction by Manu. When Rhodes interferes, however, DiBiase hits the Million Dollar Dream/Side Russian Legsweep combo for the victory.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK> (Punk and Kingston team with Evan Bourne and Ricky Ortiz to take on DiBiase, Rhodes, The Miz, and John Morrison tomorrow night on ECW)
Backstage, Jericho tells Randy Orton that Batista being number one contender doesn’t benefit either Jericho or Orton. Tonight, Jericho’s going to put Orton to work.
John Cena has had successful neck surgery. As such, let’s watch a video about him!
Kane and Mark Henry, along with Tony Atlas are making their way to the ring. They’re stopped by Dolph Ziggler, who decides better of introducing himself of the two monsterous superstars. He introduces himself to Tony Atlas, who doesn’t shake his hand and instead keeps walking.
Rey Mysterio has recovered nicely from his beating last night, and is in tag team action! His tag team partner is the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy! They’ll be taking on the team of Mark Henry and The Big Red Monster, Kane.
Kane & Mark Henry def. Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio
Mysterio kicks things off for his team against Kane. Mysterio holds his own and tags in Matt Hardy, who doesn’t fare too well, he’s being beaten from pillar to post by both of his opponents, but manages to avoid a Henry splash in the corner, tagging in Rey-Rey, hitting a Poetry In Motion/Seated Senton combo on Henry before disposing of Kane, sending us to…
When we come back, Kane has Hardy trapped in a chinlock, and Hardy starts to battle out of it. Kane takes him back down and tags in Mark Henry, who tries to overpower the ECW Champion, but Hardy battles out, but his ability to capitalize is cut short. Mysterio gets the tag in, and he starts using quick moves to work over Henry until Kane hit him in the back of the head. Henry throws Mysterio outside, then goes out just to roll him back in. He drags Rey to his corner and tags in Kane, who starts hitting Mysterio in the head unmercifully. Kane tags in Henry, who headbutts Mysterio, before standing on the much smaller masked man’s chest. He tags Kane back in, and Kane continues to go after the head of Mysterio. He makes the mistake of whipping Mysterio into the ropes, but his mistake doesn’t cost him too badly. What does is Mysterio ducking out of the way of Kane’s flying clothesline. He takes Kane over with a headscizzors, and gets the tag into Matt Hardy, who takes over this matchup. Chaos ensues, leading to Hardy setting up Kane for a Mysterio 619. Matt goes to the top rope, but Henry catches Mysterio on the outside and tosses him up towards Matt Hardy like a dart, sending Hardy crashing down, allowing him to become the victim of a Kane chokeslam, giving Kane the pinfall victory in this matchup.
HBK takes on Lance Cade in a no DQ match, NEXT!
WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand: March 29, 1998, WrestleMania XIV – Kane tombstones Pete Rose.
Shawn Michaels music hits, and he limps his way to the ring for his no disqualification match with Lance Cade. We’re treated to a replay of Cade pinning HBK in a tag match a couple of weeks back.
Shawn Michaels def. Lance Cade
Cade starts on the offense, and yells “Come on, Shawn, we’ll play outside” before dumping HBK to the arena floor. Cade follows him out and starts beating the crap out of him, taking a table out from under the ring, and dropping HBK face first across the announce table for good measure. He hits a modified spinebuster, putting HBK through the table he’d set up out there. Finally, Cade rolls HBK back into the ring, grabbing a chair before following him in. He charges in with the chair, but HBK’s gas tank finally kicks in, taking Cade down, then cracking Jericho’s protoge over the head with the chair, before hitting him numerous times with it while he’s down. HBK mercifully pins Cade following several chairshots.
HBK stands motionless in the corner of the ring as he stares at the unconscious body of Cade. Finally, he snaps, assaulting Cade once again with the steel chair, before backing back up into the corner. HBK’s music hits and he finally decides to leave.
Still to come, Chris Jericho is the special guest referee as Batista defends the number one contendership against JBL.
Jerry “The King” Lawler is in the ring, and he says that Santino claims to be the greatest IC Champion of all time. In three weeks, he’ll get a chance to prove it at Cyber Sunday, and we can pick Santino’s opponent. Will it be Rowdy Roddy Piper? How about Goldust? Or what about… oh, I don’t know, The Honkey-Donkey Man? Hmm… I wonder who’s going to win. I say we all vote for Goldust.
Lillian is interrupted by The Great Khali. He starts babbling about Johnny Knoxville and Jackass. Seriously. Ranjin translates. He was on JackassWorld.com and his interview didn’t go well. Let’s watch! Knoxville asks Khali if his tallywhacker is in proportion with the rest of his body. Khali didn’t like that question. It was inappropriate. Khali lifts the table and dumps the drinks onto Knoxville. Back in Seattle, Khali cuts another promo in Indian about Knoxville. Ranjin translates that Khali invites Knoxville to RAW next week, where he’ll show him the real meaning of entertainment. Tonight, he’s going to prove he has a sense of fun, as Khali is going to host the kiss cam! Nobody bothers to kiss. Okay, one couple does. Lillian winds up on the kiss cam, and Khali approaches her, pulling her to the center of the ring and planting one on her, much to her surprize. Ranjin tells her that Khali says “he’ll call ya.”
Miz and Morrison have joined King and Cole at ringside for commentary.
In the ring, Jillian is singing “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Any other Nirvana song, I’d say that she was butchering it. She’s interrupted by Kelly Kelly, who makes her way down to the ring. Her horrible music is in turn interrupted by Cryme Tyme, who also come over to join The King and Cole for commentary. Miz and Morrison call Cryme Tyme “Steve Urkel’s in denial” and “Jonas Brother’s groupies.”
Kelly Kelly vs. Jillian
The commentary in this match is insane, with Miz and Morrison arguing with Cryme Tyme the whole time. Nobody’s paying any attention to the match. King and Cole try to point out that there’s a match going on, but Miz and Morrison continue arguing with Cryme Tyme at the booth. They start battle rapping. What any of that has to do with the match in the ring, I have no idea. Cole tries to call time out so that The King can watch the Divas. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Kelly Kelly picked up a victory.
After the match, Cryme Tyme gets in the ring to celebrate with Kelly Kelly, and Morrison says they’ll fight but don’t know about “gettin’ it poppin’.”
Batista is warming up for his match in the back. Sadly, nobody randomly runs into his camera shot this time.
John Cena showed up at the arena after he got his surgery. Let’s hear what the superstars and the doctor had to say about that. Ugh.
5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 0… BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN!
Chris Jericho and his fat lip make their way out to the ring in his referee’s outfit as we relive what happened to Jericho at the hands of Batista earlier in the night.
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding… MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
JBL is not happy, and he’s on his way to the ring to face Batista for the number one contendership. As Lillian is about to announce Batista, Jericho whispers in her ear. She then introduces our special guest timekeeper, William Regal. Again she’s interrupted by Jericho as she attempts to introduce Batista. This time she says there’s a special guest commentator for this match, Randy Orton!
This match is NEXT!
JBL looks like he has no idea what’s going on as we come back from the break. Lillian finally gets to announce Batista, and we’re ready for action!
Batista vs. JBL (special referee Chris Jericho, special timekeeper William Regal, and special commentator Randy Orton)
Orton tells Cole and King that he has no idea why he’s out there, hypothesizing that Jericho thought they were doing a lousy job. Batista takes JBL down and goes for a cover, but Jericho takes his time getting into position to make the count and JBL kicks out at one. Batista starts working over JBL’s leg, which makes a whole heck of a lot of sense when you remember that Batista’s finisher is a powerbomb. He locks in a figure four, but Jericho makes him break the hold when JBL touched the bottom rope. As Batista argues the decision, JBL takes advantage of the distraction and takes him down for a very fast two count. JBL takes over, throwing right hands at Batista in the corner. He takes Batista down with a clothesline, getting a two on a normal speed count from Jericho. Batista suplexes JBL, and goes for a cover, but Jericho ignores it, choosing to instead step outside the ring. Batista gets tossed out, JBL follows, and Jericho starts telling JBL to get back into the ring. As he’s backing JBL up, Regal attacks Batista while Jericho’s back is turned. When Batista gets back in, JBL covers him and gets a fast two count. JBL locks in a full nelson, but Batista manages to escape. Batista takes JBL down and Jericho pleads with JBL to get up as he counts both men down. Both men get to their feet, and Batista takes over, but as he goes to charge JBL in the corner, he’s tripped by Jericho. Jericho again manages to get distracted by JBL, allowing Regal to attack again. Batista takes Regal down, before spearing Jericho and JBL at the same time. Mike Adamle comes out and sends another referee to the ring. Batista nails the Batista Bomb and referee Mike Chioda makes the three count, giving Batista the victory!
After the match, Adamle says it’s ironic that Jericho named himself the guest referee tonight, because Shane and Stephanie urged him to shake things up when he met with them earlier. So at Cyber Sunday, it’s going to be Jericho defending against Batista, and the WWE Universe gets to decide who the special referee will be. How about Randy Orton? No? What about Shawn Michaels? Or could it possibly be Stone Cold Steve Austin!?!? It’s up to us!
I hate Cyber Sunday – yet I usually wind up ordering it on PPV. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of an interactive Pay-Per-View where the fans get to pick certain stipulations or whatever the case may be, but I hate how the WWE virtually guarantees what the poll result will wind up being. With Santino coming out every week and saying that he’s only X amount of weeks away from breaking The Honky Tonk Man’s record, it’s theoretically a lock that WWE fans will vote for him to be Santino’s opponent at Cyber Sunday. Personally, I’m trying to get people to vote for Goldust, because I’m sure that’s the last thing the WWE is expecting. The thing about it this year so far though, is that the second match they announced, while having a somewhat obvious favorite in the WWE’s eyes, has a choice that may be more favored by the fans than the one WWE would like. Given the conflict between HBK and Jericho, Michaels seems like a more obvious choice than the one the WWE would like us to pick, Stone Cold Steve Austin. The rumor is that they have plans for Austin starting at Cyber Sunday and rolling through WrestleMania 25 in Houston. What if the fans pick HBK instead? Where does this leave Steve Austin’s planned storyline?
The commentary during the Kelly Kelly-Jillian Hall match was distracting. Not that the match was any good, but Miz, Morrison, Shad, and JTG absolutely stole the attention away from the two divas in the ring. I don’t think we’ll be seeing anything like that again anytime soon.
One thing bugged me about the finish of tonight’s main event. Stamford, CT is on the east coast, and Seattle, WA is on the west coast. So apparently, Shane and Stephanie decided to travel across the country to meet with Mike Adamle instead of having him come to them? What nice bosses! Oh well, it served it’s purpose.
See you guys at 9PM for ECW in Real-Time!
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